


War: For Fun and For Profit

by SpyroForLife



Series: W:FFaFP Fics [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Anxiety, BillDip, Blackmail, Eventual Smut, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Health Issues, Military, Original Character(s), Paranoia, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, War, cipherpines, medication use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-04-28 00:12:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 40
Words: 116,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5070376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpyroForLife/pseuds/SpyroForLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay, so the first time Bill tried to bring about an apocalypse, things didn't exactly go as planned. Now, years later, he's ready to make another attempt. This time backed by an entire army willing to fight and die for him. And who else should he convince to lead his people, but the very person who helped ruin his last takeover? That's right. Dipper Pines. Revenge is so, so sweet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everything Is About To Change

**Author's Note:**

> "Come on get in line with me  
> Throw your hands up for the fight of the century  
> Come on and tear some shit up with me  
> Time to round up cause we're filling out the infantry"  
> Simon Curtis, Get In Line

The moment Dipper opened his eyes, he knew things weren't right.

A shiver went down his spine and he shifted under the covers, feeling sweat coating his skin, making the fabric cling to him. He lifted his arm to squint at his watch in the dark, before sighing and reaching over to the table to pick up his glasses. He hadn't needed them until recently... years of staring at books and computer screens had weakened his vision. The glasses weren't entirely necessary, but they helped.

Finding that he was wide awake, he slipped out of bed, rubbing his arms as goosebumps rose on his skin. If he felt so cold, why was he sweating so much? Was he sick?

He located the clock. It was only 2 AM. Why was he awake? He crossed the room to check on his sister. She was still asleep, curled up into a little ball under the covers. But she shivered every so often. And when he brushed some of her hair back, he felt sweat.

"What is going on?" he muttered. Dipper pulled his hand away, not wanting to wake her up. Instead, he went to look outside. It was dark. The forest was still. Nothing to be concerned about... but he was still unsettled. His stomach churned, insides clenching.

Taking a few deep breaths, he decided he was just sick. Yes, that was it. Maybe he had a fever.

He reached a shaky hand up to touch his forehead. His skin felt normal, besides the sweat. Temperature wasn't up at all.

"Okay," he said, swallowing. "You're just going crazy again." It was no secret that his mental state has been damaged; over many summers visiting Gravity Falls, seeing unbelievable things, getting entangled in conspiracies, witnessing shocking events and getting involved with various magicks that no human should ever tamper with, his mind has noticeably changed. He was paranoid, anxious, quick to anger. Yet the town kept drawing him in. Like a fly to a bug zapper, he just couldn't stay away.

Dipper silently went to his bed, opening the table drawer and taking out his medication. He shook two pills out onto his palm and went to the bathroom to get water.

Once the pills were down, he sighed and leaned against the counter, looking at his reflection. Tired brown eyes stared back at him. He had lines under them; always has. His slightly curly hair hung in tangles around his head, obscuring his forehead. He brushed some back to look at his birthmark, and let go to conceal it once more.

He rubbed his chin; his facial hair was getting a bit long. Maybe he'll shave soon. But he didn't trust his hands right now.

Dipper returned to his room, unable to shake the uneasiness. It felt like he was being watched, like unknown beings were surrounding him, not touching, just... staring. He looked around, pacing as he tried to sort out what he was sensing.

Maybe it had been a mistake to come to Gravity Falls for one last summer vacation with Mabel, before he took over running the Mystery Shack and she headed off for college...

"Oh, it's never a mistake to visit Gravity Falls!" a chipper voice said behind him.

Dipper jumped about a foot, spinning around at the same time, resulting in one foot sliding out from under him and making him fall hard on his rear. He hissed in pain as his hand hit the floor; it broke his fall, but now it felt like his wrist was broken.

Above him, a glowing yellow triangle let out a laugh and floated in a circle around him. "Dipper Pines, my old friend!"

"I'm not your friend," Dipper spat, massaging his wrist as he stood up. He looked at Mabel, but she slept on. He hadn't noticed in the dim light, but everything was washed out in shades of gray. He was in the mindscape.

"Hmm, maybe not. Though I consider you a friend." The demon was as cheerful as ever, carelessly slinging his arm around the human's shoulders.

Dipper shuddered at his touch to his bare skin; he was only wearing pajama pants at the moment, and the other's arm felt incredibly hot, buzzing as though electricity was running through it. To say nothing of the strange, not-quite-solid texture. "What do you want, Bill?"

"Hmm, what do I want, well I want lots of things, respect, souls, to have a tea party with the president of the United States... you have to be more specific."

Dipper resisted the urge to punch the other. "Why are you here, do you want something from me?"

"That's the ticket! Yes, I would like you to do something for me! But first, I must congratulate you, not many humans are as perceptive as you are."

"What do you mean?"

"Why, the reason you're even awake at this hour. Aren't you wondering what woke you?"

"Well, if you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly sane anymore... I didn't think much of it."

"Not exactly sane, boy I know that feeling... Anyway, you didn't wake up for no reason. You were startled awake because you subconsciously felt a great tear in the fabric of reality. And something unpleasant entering your plane of existence."

Dipper felt his insides twist a little more. "What's going on?"

"I'll tell you. And it's only because of how much I like you that I'm telling you this... this world is going to war."

"War?"

"Yep! I've been planning. I've been building up an army. Things have been far too boring around here, so I'm going to make things exciting. I'm bringing in my people. Thousands of them. Millions. To spread chaos and destruction as far as they can. Topple governments, destroy national monuments, become feared! I've got a military full of people that I like, and it's coming."

Dipper backed away from him. The demon's tone had been light, playful even as he spoke, but he wasn't lying.

"Why would you do this?" he whispered.

"Weren't you listening? For fun! I'm bored with just making deals and solving humans' problems for them. Sure, screwing them over is fun, but... it's gotten stale. So I figured... hey why not just throw the entire planet into chaos?"

"You want to destroy my entire species's way of life for _fun_?!"

"Eyup! Sounds like a raging good time to me!" Bill fluffed up some of Dipper's hair, contemplating the fear in his eyes, and said, "And I'm letting you know because I felt you deserved the warning. And also... because I have a proposition for you."

Dipper pulled away from him, turning away. "I'm not making a deal with you."

"Do you want the nightmares and anxiety to stop?"

Dipper hesitated, staring at a point on the wall. The demon's hands touched his shoulders, and he heard him whisper; he almost never did that.

"I can make it so you never have to gulp down pills in order to simply get through the day ever again. Hear me out."

Dipper allowed Bill to move around to face him.

"Boy, you sure have been hurt a lot over these years," Bill commented, sliding a hand up the side of Dipper's head. Used to the touchiness, the boy did nothing. "Such an intelligent mind. I don't want to see it wasted. Listen, Pine Tree-"

Dipper flinched at the title; too many bad memories associated with it. Just hearing it spoken by the one responsible for most of those memories was almost enough to send him into a panic attack.

Bill's eye widened slightly as he felt the human's distress, and he quickly dropped his hands to his shoulders, rubbing them as he said, "No, don't panic, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. All that other stuff is in the past, I will never do any of that again."

"Don't call me that name," Dipper said, once he managed to relax. "Ever."

"Okay, I won't. I'll just call you by your name. Are you okay now?"

Dipper shrugged. "I guess so. Now then, what did you want to tell me?"

Bill let go of him. "You are capable of greatness. I see so much potential for you. Which is why I want you to be the general of my army."

Dipper stumbled back, staring at him. "G-general?!"

"Yeah!" Bill chirped. "I need strong leaders and I want you right there at the top! You're intelligent and a good strategist, you can be a great leader! And it comes with the benefit of protection! None of my forces will harm you. Think of the things you will learn. How strong you will become, the respect that will be given to you. Imagine being looked upon with fear as you burn down a city!" Bill grabbed his hands, pulling him close. His large eye was full of excitement. "Be my general."

Dipper was almost tempted by the offer, almost able to see the army marching out before him, seeing buildings fall and their opponents collapse. Then he blinked and shook his head, slowly at first, then more rapidly. "No. No, hell no! I ain't doing that!"

"But why?" Bill seemed offended.

"It's wrong, I am not going to lead an army against my own people!"

"Right and wrong are subjective, Dipper. Do you have any idea what I am offering you? Imagine the power. The riches. You could be the single most powerful human on this planet if you play your cards right. I could teach you magic. You could lead literal demons into combat. You would be feared by so many, and loved by so many more. I will use my abilities to cure your anxiety and insomnia, all your other little mental problems, get you functioning properly again. No more pills, you'll have a clear head, full nights of sleep. What do you have to lose?"

Dipper looked over at Mabel, still sleeping away. "My humanity."

Bill scoffed. "Who needs that these days? Dipper, I can find others. But I want you. I've known you for quite a while, I can see that greatness in you, and I want to get it out. And I'll drag it out kicking and screaming if I must. Accept this offer. Otherwise..."

Dipper yelped and yanked his hands away as Bill's grew scalding hot, blue flames licking off them.

"You and everyone you love will burn in our fire," Bill said, voice low and echoing. Dipper shivered, a scared whimper escaping him. "If you join me, I will protect your family. Defy me, and..." He ran a sharp finger across Dipper's cheek, before contracting it and cutting the skin, "I'll kill you as indiscriminately as I will anyone else. Big things are coming, Pines. Everything is about to change, and you better make sure you're on the right side of history when it does."

Dipper abruptly sat down on his bed, grasping his head and staring at the floor.

Bill took an oversized watch out of seemingly nowhere and examined it. "You have twenty-four hours to make your decision. You know how to contact me." He floated over to Mabel, running his fingers through her hair as he gave Dipper an unsettling gaze. "Make sure it's the right decision." He vanished, and color returned to the room.

Dipper jerked, eyes opening, and stared around. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, even more sweaty than before. He licked his dry lips and slowly raised his legs up, wrapping his arms around his knees. His heart was pounding, and after a couple moments, he began to cry weakly. He couldn't make this decision. He didn't want to die, and he didn't want his family to be killed, but... he didn't want to serve Bill. He didn't want to be a soldier.

He soon rolled over to lay on his stomach, sobbing into his pillow to muffle the noise. More than once, he glanced at the drawer containing his medication. On one occasion, he even had the drawer open, considering just swallowing a mouthful, but his self-preservation overcame the dreadful urge, and he shut the drawer.

It took nearly an hour, but he eventually he fell into a restless sleep.


	2. I Don't Want To Lose You

In the morning, Dipper was the first up. He felt terrible, like he hadn't even slept at all. His eyelids were heavy and he could feel dried tear streaks on his cheeks. And worse, he had forgotten to take off his glasses, so now he could feel them digging into his cheekbones. He would have lines. Great. He wiped at his face and groaned, considering just flopping back down and continuing to sleep. It was Saturday, he could get away with it. But he and Mabel had promised Stan they would go grocery shopping today. And Mabel would likely want to get it done early so she could meet up with Pacifica and go to the mall.

Yawning, he got out of bed. After rubbing his eyes and adjusting his glasses, he walked over to Mabel and knelt down next to her bed, resting his chin on it and watching her. Bill's threatening words repeated in his mind.  _ You have twenty-four hours to make your decision... Make sure it's the right decision. _

Dipper sighed. It was eight now, so... that left him roughly eighteen hours. Defy Bill and the demon wouldn't hesitate to kill him and anyone else he associated with. Join him, and Mabel will be safe. Stan will be safe.

And that protection would extend even to Ford, who was currently traveling the country documenting other supernatural creatures and occurrences.

Dipper reached out to brush his hand through Mabel's hair, noting the dried sweat in it. She wasn't quite as perceptive to the paranormal as him, but even she sensed the rift into their reality. It just hadn't woken her up.

A few pets and Mabel's eyes blinked open. He gave her a grin, and she immediately returned it before leaning forward and booping his nose with her own.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," he sang. "Did you forget about grocery shopping?"

She smacked a pillow down on his head in way of answer, and he laughed, grabbing the one her head was currently resting on and yanking it out from under her so he could hit her with it.

"Dipper!" She laughed and sat up, hitting him back. They briefly fought with the pillows, until she leaned too far forward and tumbled out of bed.

He caught her, and the two fell to the floor in a giggling heap, partly covered by the blanket that Mabel's leg dragged down behind her.

"Klutz," he said fondly.

"You're one to talk," she huffed. She pushed herself up, climbing off him and helping him up.

After fixing up the bed (slightly) they turned away from each other to go change, and then headed to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

"How'd you sleep?" Mabel asked as Dipper brushed his teeth.

"Oh, uh... you know." He spit out toothpaste so he could respond. "Okay."

"That's good. Um... any nightmares?"

"Mm..." He wasn't sure how to go about telling her about Bill, but he knew he needed to. He couldn't make this decision without consulting her. "Kinda."

"Me too."

That got his interest. "What about?" When she hesitated, he offered, "You tell me yours, and I'll tell you mine?"

She nodded. After rinsing her mouth out, she began brushing her long hair, and Dipper sat on the counter patiently.

"I don't fully remember it," she said. "Just... I remember being outside, and like... I saw this huge rip in the sky. Remember when Bill broke the interdimensional rift years ago? It looked kinda like that... I guess, I was asleep when he opened it, but I've seen pictures. But yeah, just a big hole in the sky, with fire and stuff behind it. And all these demons came pouring out... And another opened near the ground, and more jumped out, the ones who couldn't fly I guess. But there were so many and they were destroying everything they saw and... it was just horrible."

Dipper's stomach sank. "Oh. I'm... sorry."

She shrugged, pulling at a particularly stubborn knot in her hair. "I've had worse, though... that one felt super real. But... it's just a dream. What was yours?"

Dipper sighed as he gently took her hair and began undoing the tangle himself. "It... was pretty real. As in... I saw Bill."

The brush stilled. "Bill? Bill Cipher?"

Dipper nodded.

Mabel chewed on her lip, and slowly resumed brushing. "What did he want?"

"Usual stuff. To spread chaos and destruction, to brag about his plan and tell me that I couldn't stop him."

"Yeah, well, except we have before. And we will again."

"This isn't like last time. He brought a literal army with him. Thousands of his people. To fight for him. To help him destroy and conquer and cause chaos. He wants all of humanity to suffer... and for no real reason except he's bored."

Mabel finished brushing her hair and set the brush down. "Sounds like him. But why would he tell you all this?"

Dipper slid down from the counter. "He asked me to be his general."

Her eyes widened. "General? Whoa, you mean like... man in fancy suit covered with ribbons, real serious and ready to launch nukes at any moment, all full of yourself because you've got fancy stars on your shoulders?"

"I guess so. He said I had potential as a leader and he wanted me to lead his army. I said no."

"Good choice!"

"But... he said that if I refuse, he'll kill all of us. He'll treat us like anyone else and kill us. I... I know he's telling the truth. But if I join him... he said he'll spare the rest of my family. He'll keep you all safe. He really only wants me."

She stared at him. "Bro, there's no way you're considering doing it!"

He sighed, looking down. "I kinda am. I... I don't know. I don't want to help him, but... if this will keep you safe..."

"There's gotta be another way, we... we can fight him! Let his armies come, we'll fight back! We're strong, we have ways to get weapons! We have allies! We won't go down without a fight!"

Dipper smiled at her determination, but he wasn't convinced. "I don't want to put you in danger. If I lose you, I... I don't know what I would do. We could fight back... and lose everything. Or I could join him, and you're guaranteed to live."

"But I don't want to lose you!" she replied. "I'd rather die free and fighting than live a life with Bill running things and hardly ever seeing my brother... if I even get to see you at all! If you join him, he's going to drag you away and keep you away, doing whatever he wants. What if I never see you again?"

"Mabel, come on," he tried to comfort her. "I'm sure he'll let me see you. He likes you. Always has."

She sniffed. "Well I sure don't like him!"

"I know. But... just because I serve him, it doesn't mean he'll take me away forever. I'll... I'll negotiate, tell him I won't cooperate if I never get to see you again. Bill can be negotiated with, he'll listen to my conditions. I can tell he really wants me on his side. He'll do whatever it takes."

"I don't want you to join him. He'll abuse you, he'll hurt you and take advantage of you... He's gonna control everything you do. You're giving up your freedom."

"Maybe... but I'm securing yours." Dipper held her close, resting his forehead against hers. He could feel her thick hair drifting around his face. And he could feel the wetness when she began to cry.

"Please don't do this," she begged. "Don't join him, don't go away... We'll talk to Stan and Ford, they'll figure something out, Dipper please..."

Dipper's heart ached, and unable to think of anything to say, he wrapped her tighter into the hug. She hugged him back, fingers gripping his clothing as if he would be torn away at any moment.

Finally, Dipper spoke. "I'll run all this by Stan. But I want to keep all of you safe, so... if I can do that by giving myself up, then... I will."

She sniffed and shook her head.

"Bill is... well, he's not fair. But he treats people well when they cooperate with him. He has friends, and from what I could tell, he's kind and respectful to them. So... if I get on his good side, he'll treat me just as respectfully. I hope..."

"Is it worth it?"

"I think it is." Dipper leaned back from her, picking up a washrag and cleaning the tears from her face. She took it from him to clean it herself.

As she grabbed a towel, he squeezed her shoulder and headed out. "Let's find Stan."

They went downstairs, but the house was quiet and dark. Their uncle was probably still asleep.

Dipper hesitated, and then said, "We can talk to him when we get back. He should be up by then, especially since we're bringing food."

Mabel nodded, sighing as she checked her purse to make sure she had the shopping list. They had a quick breakfast; cereal for Mabel and microwaveable cheese grits for Dipper. Then they went outside. Dipper offered to drive, and she agreed.

They spent the trip in relative silence. Mabel was brooding and Dipper was just trying to focus on the road. He felt uneasy, as he usually did, but it was worse than before. Because now he actually had something to worry about. He really should have taken his medication this morning.

The patterns of bark on the trees they passed seemed to form staring eyes. He swallowed and looked forward, trying not to notice. They've always looked like that. No big deal... And that one most certainly did not blink at him.

His hands were shaking on the wheel by the time he got into the town proper, driving past buildings and navigating past other cars. But it wasn't that busy... never was. Most people lived in the area and could walk wherever they wanted to go.

There were more colors and shapes now. His eyes seemed to find every single triangle, and he tightened his grip.

"Dipper, are you alright?" Mabel asked.

"Fine," he said.

"We're swerving."

He shook his head and focused, but he was a nervous wreck by the time they pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store.

"I'm driving on the way home," Mabel said.

Dipper didn't argue. They got out and headed inside. He was shaking as he walked, paranoia creeping up on him. It felt like he was being watched. Bill was probably watching him. Laughing at him. Thrilled at how he caused the human to behave.

Without any medicine to take at the moment, he was forced to use deep breathing exercises instead. He set a hand on the cart, closing his eyes as he walked, letting Mabel guide him. She wouldn't let him run into anything.

Slow breath in. Hold for a few seconds. Slow breath out. Pause, and repeat.

After a few repetitions, his shaking stopped. He opened his eyes to see that they were in the cereal aisle and Mabel was picking out a box.

"Get your favorite," she said.

Dipper considered the selection, and went to grab the most sugary, colorful one he could. He wasn't sure when Bill would take him away once he agreed, but if it was immediately, he could at least leave behind food that Mabel liked.

She raised an eyebrow at his choice. "You haven't chosen that in years."

"Well uh, YOLO, right?" he joked.

She shrugged and smiled. "Well, it's really good! We all get cravings for our old favorites sometimes."

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Now for Stan's gross old person cereal..." She grabbed a box of plain Cheerios and tossed it in.

They moved through the store quickly, getting what they needed and not lingering. Mabel could sense her brother's tenseness and wanted to get him back home so he could relax.

Still, thirty minutes was enough time for Dipper's brief confidence to fade, and he again became nervous, glancing around far too often and flinching when anyone passed a little too close. Luckily, the other residents of Gravity Falls were aware of what he's been through, so his behaviour was met only with pity and sympathy. No one spoke to him about it except to apologize for startling him.

"I'm pathetic," he muttered as they finally reached the checkout line.

"No you aren't," Mabel replied. "You've been through so much, your behaviour isn't unusual. Honestly, I think you've made a great recovery."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You didn't even take your medicine this morning and you're doing great right now."

He rubbed his arm. "Actually, I took it when Bill woke me up at like... 2 AM."

"Oh. Well, still, you're doing good." She gave him a quick side hug. "I'm so proud of you."

He smiled and hugged her back. "Thanks... too bad Bill had to come along and fuck everything up."

"Yeah, he's good at that."

They bought the food and took it out to the car. Once it was all put in the backseat, Dipper went to put the cart away while Mabel turned on the car.

There was a bird sitting on the railing of the cart return. A crow. It watched him with a beady black eye as he steered the cart into place.

"What are you staring at?" he scowled at it.

It blinked and ruffled its feathers. It didn't seem too concerned about how close he was. He adjusted his glasses as he met its gaze. Crows were intelligent, but there was something else about how this one looked at him. Something familiar.

"Spying on me through birds now, are you Bill?" Dipper asked. "You're really obsessive, you know that, right? I'm not going to decide any faster with you staring at me like that."

" _Actually the bird is just a bird._ "

Dipper yelped at the voice behind him and spun around. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the crow take off, but he hardly noticed, looking frantically around for the owner. He saw nothing except Mabel leaning over the roof of the car and giving him a concerned look.

"Dipper?" she called.

His eyes darted around, but he saw nothing. No yellow triangle. All he heard was his own rapid breathing.

He clutched his chest and stumbled forward, calling back, "I'm okay! Just... thought I heard something. It's just... my imagination again." His heart was pounding. It almost hurt. But he tried not to let his discomfort show.

"Well, come on, let's get back home." She disappeared back inside the vehicle.

As Dipper climbed in the passenger side, he heard the echo of a laugh in his head. He pulled a napkin and a pen out of the glovebox and drew a triangle, and an oval inside it. A small line turned the oval into a slit eye, like that of a snake. He gazed at the drawing for a few moments... and then promptly flipped it off.


	3. So Kid, Let's Talk

Stan was awake when the twins got back, sitting at the kitchen table and talking to someone on the phone. He waved at them as they brought in the bags, and when they started putting the groceries away, he lowered the phone and said, "It's Ford."

"Grunkle Foord!" Mabel ran over to the table. "Hi, can you hear me?!"

"Yes, I can hear you," came the quiet response. "Unlike Stan, I don't need a hearing aid yet."

She giggled and pestered Stan to put it on speaker. He did so, and she said, "What's up? Find anything cool lately?"

"Oh, you bet! I found these strange humanoids with feathers in the Appalachian Mountains, unlike anything I've ever quite heard of or seen! I'm gonna do some research into the local lore, but until then, I'm trying to learn their language so I can speak to them. They're surprisingly friendly. I could text some photos. Dipper, you want me to email them to you?"

"Sure," Dipper agreed.

"Okay, I will! So what's happening on your end?"

Mabel cast Dipper a look, and he took in a breath. Then he said, "Ford, um... there was a very... not good development last night."

"What's going on?" Ford was immediately concerned.

"I'm glad you called, because now I can tell both you and Stan about this at the same time. So..." Dipper inhaled deeply, and felt Mabel take his hand. When she squeezed it, he said, "Bill came to talk to me at around 2 AM this morning."

Stan fumbled the phone and nearly dropped it at the "WHAT?!" that exploded through the speaker.

"Bill talked to me," Dipper repeated.

There was silence, and then Ford said, "What did he want? You didn't make any deals, did you?"

"N-no, of course not. But... I'm going to."

"Dipper, what the hell are you thinking?! What did he tell you?!"

Dipper shook slightly at Ford's tone, and Mabel hissed, "Ford, stop yelling at him, you know he hates that."

There was a pause, and when he spoke again, his voice was softer. But it was still angry. "Dipper, what exactly did he say to you?"

Dipper thought about the conversation, and then repeated everything he could remember of it. Which was enough. Ford was horrified.

"An army? He's bringing an army and he wants you to lead it? No, you can't agree to this!"

"But if I don't, he'll kill all of us."

"Bullshit! I'll come home right away and get my weapons, we can make a stand and fight back! He was defeated once, we can do it again!"

"But can we if he's backed by so many of his people? If we're in his way... he'll mow us down. Without any mercy. But if we surrender, he'll spare us."

"I'd rather die than live under his rule!"

"I know you would... but I don't want to die. And I don't want to lose you, or Mabel, or Stan, or my parents... please understand, I can save all of you by joining him. He won't hurt you, you can live peacefully."

"In the world he wants to bring, there won't be any peace. Dipper, I'm warning you. Do not join Bill. It cannot end well, he's going to use you and throw you away as soon as you stop being useful. That's how he operates."

"And I'll make sure the protection continues when he does get rid of me. He might be a manipulative bastard but... he keeps promises. I just have to make sure he agrees to specific conditions... and he will. He wants me on his side. I don't know why he likes me so much, but I get the feeling he'll agree to anything just to make me his general."

"You're making a big mistake."

"It wouldn't be the first time." Mind made up, Dipper turned away, trying to distract himself and seem unaffected by putting away groceries. After a few seconds, Mabel joined him, while the Stan twins argued.

"They aren't going to let you do it," Mabel said.

"It's not up to them. Bill's waiting for my word. He's probably already celebrating, I just need to officially tell him. In the end it's my decision."

“Of course it is. Just... Ford will never forgive you.”

“...I know he won't. But I feel like this is the right decision. And the right decision isn't always the easiest one.” Dipper put away the last item on a shelf. “Do you think we should make Stan some breakfast?”

Mabel considered it, glancing back at their great uncle as he slammed his hand down and yelled at Ford to come talk some sense into his nephew. “I can handle it. You should go lie down... I can tell this is all stressing you out.”

Dipper wanted to stay and help, but then he'd have to listen to a lecture and he did _not_ want that right now. He nodded and left the room. As he walked out, he heard Stan finally hang up, but before the man could follow him, Mabel was insisting that he stay and watch her make her special new brand of pancakes.

The distraction worked for Dipper to get upstairs and hide in his room. He didn't lock the door, but he felt better once it was shut. He paced for a while, letting his nerves settle, and then turned to regard the triangular window. It once had a circular pattern in it making it look like it had an eye, but that was gone, replaced with plain glass held in place by a simple cross frame. It unnerved him nonetheless.

He went over to his desk, taking out some supplies and sitting down. He had listened in on the conversation between his uncles, and was about 95% sure that Ford was going to be coming home. He may be on the other side of the country but he had ways of getting back quickly. Dipper was going to get this over with now and get as far away as he could, so he wouldn't have to face the man's wrath.

Yet he found himself taking his time as he drew a large triangle on a piece of printer paper. He made sure the lines were even, the figure perfectly equilateral. He gave it a big oval eye with a slit pupil, and decorated the eye with lashes. Four on top and four on the bottom.

A bow tie went underneath the eye, and then a few lines making a brick pattern.

Despite who this represented, drawing it was surprisingly relaxing. Dipper added a top hat, and then two arms and two legs. He drew the arms outstretched, palms up and filled with fire.

He was shading in parts of it when he realized he was just stalling. With a sigh, he set his pencil aside and looked down at the paper. This wasn't at all a proper summoning, but that was fine; all Bill needed was to be called. “Triangulum, entangulum. Veneforis dominus ventium. Veneforis venitisarium.”

He had barely finished speaking when the paper lifted into the air and burst into bright blue flames, a triangular-shaped void appearing in its place and growing steadily larger. Dipper pushed his chair back as maniacal cackling filled the room, getting to his feet and waiting for Bill to finish with his theatrics.

“Theatrics? Oh, I am wounded, Pine Tr- Pines.” Bill appeared with a final flare of fire, spreading his arms dramatically.

“Took you long enough,” Dipper scoffed.

Bill prodded roughly at his chest as he floated down to sit on the desk. “I'm sorry, did you _expect_ me to go any faster? After such a makeshift summoning ritual? The only redeeming quality about it was how beautifully you spoke that Latin! Though your tone could have been a bit more enthusiastic. Oh, and the artwork was fairly nice as well, but leave the drawing to Shooting Star and Sixer.”

Dipper rolled his eyes, beginning to second guess this. But Bill was here now, he had no choice. Still... he wanted to delay the inevitable for as long as he could. A few seconds passed, and he realized something strange about their surroundings. “Hey, uh... everything is colorful.”

“Yeah? What of it?” Bill picked up the pencil to twirl around in his fingers.

“Usually when you show up, things are gray. Because you can only speak to us in the Mindscape.”

“Except for those fun times we had six years ago, remember all that? Haha, that was great.”

“But we banished you from our dimension. Just this morning you had to use the Mindscape to talk to me. How did you get back?”

Bill rolled his eye. “Please, kid. I have my ways. You gather up enough magical energy and anything is possible. Guess what my army is already doing? Destroying and murdering. I've gained strength already. Enough to rip my way back into your reality right alongside them.”

Dipper felt a chill go through him. “So you're... you're real. I mean...” He reached out to the other, fingers pressing lightly on his surface. The texture was unlike anything he's touched before, somewhat like flesh but also not, smoother and harder than any skin, almost feeling like stone, yet... there was a give to it. And it was incredibly warm and seemed to tingle with static. He yanked his hand back. “Oh my God.”

“God had nothing to do with me.” Bill laughed and stretched out, casually crossing a leg over the other. “Yes, I'm real. And man, is it great to be back. So kid, let's talk. You made your decision?”

Dipper sighed, sinking into the chair. “Yeah. I... I did.”

“Great! What did you decide?”

The human hated that cocky look Bill gave him. The demon already knew. He just wanted to hear him say it. “I'll... do it.”

“Do what?” Bill asked, cupping one of his sides, where an ear would be if he had one.

“I... accept. Your proposition.”

“Which was?”

Dipper hunched his shoulders and glared down at the floor. “I'll join you.”

Bill gave a triumphant whoop and leaped into the air, flying in a circle over Dipper before grabbing his shoulders and squeezing them tightly. “Excellent choice! I knew I could count on you to do the right thing!” Dipper cringed as he felt heat sear right through his clothes and into his skin. “Now let's make this official!”

“Wait!” Dipper turned and pushed him away. Bill kept his hands up, but his magic flickered and then went out, confusion on his face.

“What?”

“I have some conditions.”

Bill squinted, and slowly sat back down. “Oh, do you?” His stare was calm, and he folded his hands politely in front of him. But Dipper could tell he was impatient. “Spit them out, then.”

“Okay.” Dipper swallowed; his mouth was dry. He fidgeted at the way Bill was watching him, but forced himself to look confident. “So, first of all... I get to see my family. You aren't going to just... take me away from them forever. You promised that you would keep them safe, well... I want to be able to check up on them. You will allow me to do so.”

Bill neither agreed nor disagreed. He didn't move at all, just waiting.

Dipper pulled at his collar, the air around him feeling much too hot and suffocating. He coughed, and continued, “Second, um... Ford doesn't live in one place, he travels around, and... I know you don't like him, but... the protection will extend to him as well. He might try to fight you... In fact, I know he's going to fight back. So... spare him. Do not hurt him. I'll of course do my best to talk him out of going against you, but I doubt he'll listen. So if he does confront you or your army at any point... have mercy. Don't kill him. Don't permanently injure him in any way. Just... temporarily incapacitate him. Get him to give up. He's family, I expect his safety.”

Bill sighed, but again, didn't say anything. Sensing that Dipper had more to say, he motioned for him to get on with it.

“If and when I die, their protection continues. No exceptions. You will not kill them just because I'm gone and no longer serving you.”

“Really twisting my arm here, aren't you?”

“And finally...” Dipper almost forgot his last point, but his eyes trained on a poster nearby with a star pattern on it, and he declared, “I don't want to start out as a fucking general.”

Bill raised his eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Yeah, I have no idea how to lead an army, I'm 18, I've never been in the military and quite frankly I had never planned on joining, the only branch I'd even consider would be the Air Force because of all the technical career fields and focus on education, but since running the Shack would have brought in enough income, I never thought about joining at all. I know nothing about the lifestyle, I'm not physically fit in the way they are, I certainly don't know how to lead anyone into battle! So I am not going to be your general! Not now, not so soon! I'll be... whatever comes before that. Whatever the first rank is.”

Bill tapped his finger against a spot under his eye, then said, “What comes before? Tell me, and I can give you a more... fitting rank. But I know you'll learn quickly. I'll have you where I want you within a year, I bet. You may be young in my eye but you're wise beyond your years. You're intelligent and determined, leadership will come easy to you. I'm sure of it. In time you may even enjoy it. Especially when I start teaching you magic.”

Dipper took his phone out, opening the Internet browser and doing a search for military ranks. “Geeze, which should I look at, Army or Navy or-”

“Just pick one, they all have the same officer ranks,” Bill said flippantly. “Except the Navy. They gotta be different.”

Dipper began reading from the list. “Second lieutenant, first lieutenant, captain, major, lieutenant colonel, colonel... oh wow, there's four different tiers of generals! I guess that explains the different amounts of stars. One star is brigadier general... then major general, lieutenant general, and finally... just general. Four stars. Wow.”

Bill leaned over to look at the phone. “How needlessly complicated your military is. Okay, let's simplify this. I can take these ten ranks... and make it five. Lieutenant to start with. No more to it. Just lieutenant. Then... captain. Then up to major, then... hmm, skip on up to colonel. I like that bird symbol, very nice. I'll probably make it something cooler, like a bat. After that you'll be a general! And why bother with all the stars, hm? Just a big one on each shoulder should do just fine!” Bill patted Dipper's shoulders and gave him one of his weird grins that didn't require a mouth. “All right, Dipper. I agree to your conditions!”

Dipper had hoped he would, but he wasn't prepared for him to agree that quickly. “You do?”

“Sure! None of your demands are that steep. I can definitely do all that! Allow you to see your family, keep them all safe, even if one attacks me, and you want to start out at a lower rank! In this case, lieutenant, and you can work your way up with experience! Does all that sound good?”

Dipper fiddled with his phone before placing it down. He didn't need to drop it; his hands were starting to shake. “That all sounds good... of course when I say see my family, I mean physically. I want to be able to physically go and meet with them, visit home, whatever.”

“You're gonna make this as airtight as possible, aren't ya?”

“I know how you play, of course I am.”

Bill spread his hands, shrugging. “Fair enough. Any last little details you want to throw in?”

Dipper thought about it, then said, “I think I've covered all my bases. Just... you're going to keep all your promises, right?” He lifted his hand slowly.

“You have my word that I'll keep them!” Bill held out his own hand, his magic surrounding it in blue fire.

“And that thing you said about... about helping me sleep?” Dipper continued. “About... healing me? So I don't have all this anxiety and... nightmares anymore?”

“Yep, yep! No more illness, physical nor mental! I'm fixing you right up! My soldier's gotta be in perfect health!”

“Okay. I... okay. Just know, I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this to protect my family.”

“Yeah, isn't that special, now shake on it.”

Dipper glanced at the door, expecting Mabel or Stan to come bursting in at any moment to talk him out of it, but neither of them did. They probably didn't even know this was happening right now. They probably thought that Dipper wasn't going to contact Bill until later, and were eating pancakes and talking, not even suspecting...

“They have no idea what's going on,” Bill said, reading his thoughts. “They won't know this has happened until it's far too late. But I'm sure in time, they'll thank you. Now come on, don't leave me hanging.”

Dipper couldn't delay it anymore. He turned his eyes onto Bill, Bill who looked so victorious, the fire around his hand leaping and sparking, full of energy. This was a literal deal with the devil... and Dipper had no choice but to take it. With a heavy heart, he took Bill's hand. An intense mix of heat and cold surged up his arm, nearly causing his muscles to lock up, but he kept his expression as neutral as possible while he shook. Then the sensation stopped, and Bill pulled his hand away.

The demon laughed loudly, slinging his arm around Dipper's neck and pulling him close. “Ah, you foolish human! You really are way too easy to manipulate! Haha, but don't look so down! Welcome to my army, Lieutenant Pines!”


	4. This Is Your Life Now

Bill was generous enough to let Dipper say goodbye. He chose to accompany him downstairs, though. So when Dipper entered the kitchen, Mabel and Stan were startled into getting to their feet to face him.

“Please, I’m flattered, but you don’t need to get to your feet when I enter the room,” Bill said cheerfully. “Only Pines will have to do that from now on. Right? Isn’t that a thing in the military?”

“Dipper, why is he here?” Stan demanded, grabbing the fork from his plate as if it was a viable weapon.

“Because I told him what my decision was,” Dipper replied. “And I’m here to say goodbye.”

“You agreed to go with him?” Mabel asked, voice full of betrayal.

Dipper’s heart ached. “Yeah. I’m sorry, but… I had no other choice. I’m doing this for you guys. He… agreed to my terms, he’ll let me come see you, and he won’t hurt any of you. Not even Ford, even though he’s probably going to try and fight back. This is… not easy for me, but I feel like it’s the right thing to do.”

Mabel ran forward and wrapped him into a tight hug. He gently hugged her back, and then tightened his grip, not wanting to let her go.

“Have you shaken his hand on it yet?” she asked, voice muffled against his shirt.

He nodded and held her closer. “Yeah. It’s official. The deal is sealed. No turning back now.”

“I wish you had waited longer… I can’t believe he’s taking you away already…”

“I guess he has a lot he wants to do today. No point in putting things off. So… I’ll try to return soon.”

Mabel kept holding him, and he made no move to pry her off. He just stared over her shoulder, before his eyes focused on Stan. He gave him a guilty look.

“I’m sorry,” he said to him.

Stan sighed and walked over to him, gripping his shoulder. “I understand why you’re doing this. But I don’t like it. We could have figured something out. Anything except you having to go with that… monster.”

Bill waved his hand. “Oh Stanley, you flatter me.”

Stan hurled the fork at him. Bill didn’t flinch as it clattered off his surface, merely raising his brow. “Is that any way to treat the soon-to-be dictator of your world?”

“If I had something heavier I’d be throwing that at you too!”

“Is that a promise?”

Dipper reached out with an arm to pull his uncle into the hug. “If I thought there was another way, I’d take it, but… I can’t think of anything. I don’t have time to, Bill gave me twenty-four hours to decide, so… I’ve decided. And hey, maybe it won’t be so bad.” He gently pulled away from them. “He treats his followers well, at least.”

Bill floated over and ruffled Dipper’s hair. “I sure do! You’re mine now, Dipper! I’m not gonna hurt something that belongs to me. That’s just illogical.”

“Don’t treat him like a pet,” Mabel said.

“Well gee, of course not, obviously he’s much smarter than that. I’m gonna treat him like a servant! No… a subordinate! That’s what he is. I’m gonna look into this whole military thing because it seems like a pretty efficient way of running stuff. I bet my army could benefit from some organization. Well Dipper, anything else you wanna say? Because we need to get going soon.” Bill was looking at his wrist, where a watch had appeared. Before Dipper could get a good look at it, it disappeared.

“Yeah… I mean, no. I think I’ve said all I need to.” Dipper looked back at his family, frowning. “I’m sorry… I love you both, and tell Ford that I love him too. If he hates me, I understand. Do your best to keep him from fighting back. Bill said he wouldn’t hurt him, but… maybe his army won’t know the difference.” He felt Bill’s hand grasp his, and slowly stepped back toward the door.

“Dipper, don’t-” Mabel took in a breath, and closed her eyes. She shook slightly; it was apparent that she was trying not to cry. Then she opened them and said, “I’m gonna miss you. Come back as soon as you can, okay?”

“Of course,” he answered, chest clenching as Bill slowly led him away. “I will. I’ll try to call you guys, I’ll talk to you whenever I can!”

“Don’t bother calling me,” Stan said bluntly.

It was like a slap to the face. Dipper’s eyes began to sting. He whipped around and sprinted from the room, barely hearing Mabel as she admonished her uncle.

“I could have predicted that,” Bill said, easily keeping up with him. “Your sister still loves you, but Stan? Old man is as stubborn as his twin, he’ll never accept it.”

“I should have just left without saying anything.” Dipper ran into his room, grabbing his backpack and shoving clothes into it.

“Don’t bring too much, we’re going to do a lot of traveling,” Bill said. “I plan on setting up a permanent base somewhere, and then long term maybe get some housing, you’ll need that and at some point I want to get myself a host body, but… in the meantime, you should bring only what you can carry. We’ll have to capture vehicles and supplies and stuff.”

Dipper nodded. “I’ll bring whatever fits in this.” He stuffed a few notebooks in, some writing supplies, and filled the rest with clothing. Mostly underwear and socks. He also slipped in a photo album; he needed something to remind him of the good times.

He was in the bathroom grabbing his toiletries when Mabel came upstairs.

“Don’t worry about Stan,” she called. “He’s just really angry, he’ll come around!”

“Forget about it,” Dipper said, stuffing the items into a separate pocket. With everything packed, he zipped up all the pockets and swung the backpack onto his back. “I’m leaving.”

She embraced him one more time, resting their heads together, and then let go. “Please be safe,” she begged. “Don’t get killed out there, watch out for yourself, please.”

“I’ll be okay. I’m pretty tough.”

She smiled weakly. “Yeah. You are.”

He waited for her to separate, and gave her hair a playful flip. Then he walked out, calling his last goodbye, which she quickly returned.

Dipper went outside through the gift shop to avoid having to see Stan's disappointment. As he walked, Bill reached out to grip his hand, saying, “Hold your breath.”

“What?”

Bill's eye flashed and his blue fire surrounded them both, and Dipper yelped and held his breath as told. Their surroundings dissolved into what could only really be called void; a deeper black than black, endless, featureless. It almost seemed to weigh on Dipper's eyes, but he was barely starting to close them when color suddenly returned. It was fuzzy at first, then resolved into familiar shapes and images. He blinked a few times, disoriented.

There was a lot of ash in the air. That was the first thing he noticed. It was all around him, and he coughed, taking off his glasses to clean them.

There was a blur, and then his glasses were knocked out of his hands. He grabbed for them and missed, and they hit the ground.

“Bill!” he shouted, squinting at the charred ground as he tried to locate them. But his vision was now blurry and the ground was blackened, so his glasses seemed to blend right in. "What the hell happened here, why is it so burnt?"

“Because this is our training ground. Lots of demons favor fire magic, Dipper. Are you that surprised?”

“Not really, but I have no idea where my glasses are.”

“Since when do you need those anyway?”

“Since years of staring at computer screens in low light ruined my near vision. Also that acid monster spitting in my face about three years ago probably didn't help matters.”

“Aw, human senses are so easily damaged... here, let me help you out.” Bill floated in front of him, grasping his face with both hands. Dipper struggled a bit, but soon stopped. Bill basically owned him now. He needed to cooperate to stay on his good side.

Bill's thumbs dug into Dipper's eye sockets, dangerously close to his eyes. He closed them.

“Nope, eyes open, I gotta watch what I'm doing!” Bill chirped.

Reluctantly, Dipper opened his eyes again. Bill was incredibly close, large eye staring at him. For a few moments, he simply seemed to search Dipper's face, and the human got the uncomfortable feeling that the other was staring into him, maybe into his very mind.

Then Bill made a tutting sound that almost made Dipper jump. “How inefficient your optic nerves are. And the whole focusing method of your lens... poorly executed. The whole system is terrible, really... Here, let me fix it.”

Dipper's vision was suddenly filled with blue fire, which washed across his face, and he tensed as the warmth hit his eyes. He expected pain at any moment, but it didn't come. There was only heat, and then his eyes started tingling and then itching. But he didn't dare blink. Even when tears began running down his face, he kept staring straight ahead. It still didn't really hurt. It was just irritating.

There was an uncomfortable pressure in his skull, behind his eyes. It was unlike anything he's ever felt. He's felt his pulse behind his eyes a couple times, but this seemed to be even further back. Was Bill manipulating the nerves themselves?

He really wanted to blink now. It was starting to hurt.

The blue faded away, and as soon as Bill's hands left his face, Dipper reeled back and closed his eyes, disoriented by the colorful spots that exploded under his lids. Then he slowly opened them.

“Look up, lemme see how they turned out,” Bill urged, and Dipper looked at him. The demon came into focus immediately. Crystal clear, clearer than his vision has been in years. Better than ever, really. It was hard to describe, but he just knew he was seeing more than any human naturally could. Bill seemed pleased. “Wow! Excellent! Oh they look great!” He held a finger in front of Dipper's face. “Follow with your eyes, not your head.” He moved it back and forth. Dipper tracked the movement easily. When Bill sped up, he still had no problem keeping his finger in focus. Even when he was practically swinging his hand around, so quickly it would likely be a blur to anyone else watching.

When Bill was satisfied, he stopped, and Dipper looked at his surroundings. He could see further than he expected, across rolling hills and trees. He turned, taking it all in with amazement. And then his eyes landed on the huge collection of tents and structures about a half mile away. Even from here, he could see unearthly creatures walking and flying around, in all shapes and sizes. They ran and sparred and exercised, and Dipper tore his gaze away.

“Bill?” he questioned.

“There's my army! Part of it, anyway. I had us split into several components to cover more ground. These guys are pretty tough, but more rebellious. So they're with me so I can keep an eye on them.” Bill slapped Dipper's shoulder. “Good eye! You can see them individually from here?”

“Y-yeah. I can.” Dipper blinked, still not used to how pristine his vision was. Looking down, he located his glasses. He hesitated, and then stomped on them. He looked up, seeing that Bill had an approving look to his eye. “What do my eyes look like now?”

“Oh, mostly the same,” Bill replied. “They're still brown, just... a bit larger now? Maybe a little more like... caramel colored than that dark chestnut? Oh, and ya got streaks of blue in your irises now. Just residue from my magic, nothing to worry about.”

“Blue?!” Dipper prodded at his face. His eyes did seem a bit bigger. But otherwise they felt normal.

“It looks good, just- ah geeze, okay, here.” Bill conjured up a mirror and handed it to him.

Dipper stared at his reflection. His eyes were indeed a different shade of brown. Warmer now, lighter. And they were streaked with electric blue lines that almost seemed to glow.

“Oh my God.” He held the mirror closer, examining each eye as much as he could. “Why are they like this?”

“They're filled with demon magic, of course. They aren't gonna look the same as before.”

“This is so weird, I... I don't know what to say.”

“A thank you would suffice.”

Dipper inhaled and lowered the mirror. “Okay. Um... thanks. I guess it'd be more convenient to not have to wear glasses. I can... deal with the side effects.”

“Want me to turn them entirely blue?”

Dipper shook his head. “N-no, that won't be necessary!”

“Aw, but it'd be so aesthetically pleasing. Well, let me know if you change your mind. Let's head into camp!”

Bill headed off, and Dipper followed behind him. As they got closer, the human realized there was a fence around the compound. Quite a tall fence. With a hue of red magic covering it. He didn't want to know what would happen if one grabbed that fence.

“Spontaneous bleeding, among other things,” Bill answered. “Just don't touch the fence. There's a reason none of the buildings are near it. Except the guard outpost at the entrance, but there's no magic on the fence there. It's just barbed wire. As is the gate. But we have the defenses to protect it.”

The demons began to pause in their activities, watching the pair approach. They waved when they reached the gate, where a large creature with several limbs blocked their passage. Its eyes scanned over Bill, who held out his arms and allowed himself to be examined. The being had sharp claws, which it prodded at him with, before finally leaning down and sniffing him.

Then it straightened up. “Commander Bill Cipher, recognized,” it stated in a gravely voice. “Identify your guest.”

Bill tugged Dipper over. “This is Dipper Pines! Soon to be Lieutenant Dipper Pines. From now on he is to be granted access to all of our camps.”

“Understood. Collecting scent and other identification data.” The creature leaned down to sniff Dipper.

“These guys can memorize thousands of distinct scents,” Bill explained. “And they have a hive mind! So any scent known by one is known by all. No need for ID cards when you've got guards who can simply examine you and telepathically transmit it to every member of their species, where it stays in their collective mind forever. Crazy stuff, right?”

“That is pretty neat,” Dipper agreed. Then he winced; the creature had cut open his arm. It scooped up some blood, licking it.

“Oh, right, forgot about that,” Bill said. “Humans tend to look and smell pretty similar... compared to demons you really aren't that diverse. So they check your blood just to make sure.”

“Wonderful,” Dipper grimaced. But to his surprise, the wound was already beginning to knit over with a strange pink substance.

“Yeah they heal you right back up after,” Bill explained. He looked up at the creature. “Memorize him good, because he's important.”

The other nodded, and addressed Dipper. “Lieutenant Dipper Pines, correct?”

Dipper nodded. “Yes.”

“Understood. You are now identified. Please proceed.”

Dipper hurried through after Bill. The dream demon was clearly popular, calling out to the others, slapping backs and encouraging those who were training. He introduced Dipper to so many people he lost count. It would be a while before he memorized who any of them were.

Eventually, Bill took him to a small tent. “And here's where you'll stay!”

Dipper eyed it. “This? Really?”

“Hey, no one else will be staying in it but you. Which is a freakin luxury, kid. Those guys out there are shoved in ten, twenty to a tent. Bunk beds for days. You get privacy. Don't be so ungrateful.”

Dipper sighed and went inside. It was cramped and hot, but sure enough, offered privacy. There was a footlocker in front of a cot, and a small table and chair, and little else. There wasn't much in the way of windows; just slits near the top that were probably more for ventilation than anything else.

Still, it had a fabric floor and it blocked the Sun. The interior was dim; the only source of light was a lamp on the desk, currently turned off.

Dipper slung his backpack down next to the chair. “Where am I gonna take showers and brush my teeth and all that important stuff?”

Bill opened the door and pointed to a nearby building. “Shower house. It's got sinks or whatever... you can use that.”

“I have to walk all the way over there to shower and use the bathroom?” Dipper demanded.

“Yes! This isn't a vacation, we're going to war, sacrifices must be made! You'll get used to it! Besides, we keep them clean. I got grunts to do our dirty work, the cooking and cleaning and all. You'll be amazed what intimidation can make people do. I'll be sure to teach you all about it.”

Dipper sighed and sat on the chair. “Great.”

Bill gazed around the tent, then clapped his hands together. “Great indeed! Let me show you my tent and then I'll take you to get some blankets for your bed, then commission a uniform for you! In fact, I think I want as many of my people as possible to wear uniforms. Make us look more unified. Also goes back to that intimidation thing. Then we can go on a tour! We'll fit lunch in there somewhere, you guys insist on that three meals a day thing... later this afternoon, I'm thinking I can get you started on training. I mean, you're strong, but... not enough. We have to refine your abilities. Make sure you have endurance to run for miles and the strength to fight anyone hand to hand and win. Of course we have weapons but it's important to be able to hold your own if your weapon is taken.”

Dipper just nodded. “Okay. Just tell me what to do, I'll do it.” His voice was bitter.

Bill was quiet for a moment. Then he said, “Cheer up, Dipper. This is your life now. Don't look so down.” He tugged on his arm. “Come on, let's go on that tour.”

Dipper stared at the wall, then sighed and stood. “Okay.” He allowed Bill to tug him out of the tent and into the warm, dry air. He gazed across the area and swallowed. Bill was right. This was his life now. He hoped he could get used to it.


	5. What A Day

Really, the first day at Bill’s camp would be remembered weeks later as a big blur to Dipper. He was in a state of shock throughout the next several hours, just silently following Bill around to different locations and listening as the function of everything was explained to him. He hardly even recalled getting the covers and pillow for his cot. Could vaguely remember that he had some kind of spicy macaroni for lunch… but the overall change in environment was enough to completely stress him out.

At some point, Bill must have taken the time to design a uniform, because in the afternoon, he took Dipper to a seamstress. A large spider woman greeted them when they walked in; her appearance definitely stood out in Dipper’s mind.

“Hello, Bill!” she called, scuttling right over the counter with her eight legs. “What can I do you for?”

“Kid needs clothes,” Bill said, pushing Dipper forward. “Get him set up with some black silk shirts, and also could you get your buddies together and start making these? I’m wanting all my people to wear them. Well, if feasible, obviously the gelatinous cube can’t wear one but ya know.” He handed her a sheet of paper.

She looked over the design. “Oh my, this is nice. But is red and black really gonna camouflage anything on this planet?”

“Not really but it looks cool,” Bill replied.

“You make a persuasive argument.”

“It’s mostly to intimidate the human militaries, show them that we have a structure too. So, you think you can make these?”

“Absolutely.” She placed the paper aside and went back behind the counter, leaning down and opening a drawer. “What size shirt do you wear, hun?”

“I don’t know, a medium I guess,” Dipper replied.

She looked at him, hummed, and pulled out three shirts. “These will work.” She brought them over and dropped them into Dipper’s hands. “Look good?”

He unfolded one. The material was quite soft and stretchy. Similar to silk, but a bit thicker and rougher. “Yeah. This will fit me.”

“Good! Now let me take your measurements for one of these fancy camo uniforms! I should be able to have one done for you by tomorrow morning!”

“Okay.” He put the shirts down and held out his arms. She scurried around him with a measuring tape, checking his shoulder span, arm length, the height and width of his torso. He jumped when she moved down further, touching his butt for a moment.

“Sorry,” she giggled, wrapping the tape around his waist. One of her many legs was writing the numbers on a notebook as she worked, and he saw her draw a heart. “You’re just so cute.”

“Uh… thanks?” He shifted uncomfortably.

She moved the tape down for a hip measurement. “Humans are all so cute. And tasty.”

“Are you a… an arachnimorph, by chance?”

“No, but the Earth arachnimorphs are the product of my people mating with humans. Revolting, isn’t it?”

“Kinda.” Dipper planted his feet further apart for the final measurement of his legs. Luckily, she was respectful enough to avoid touching his crotch at any point during the process, though her spindly hands came uncomfortably close.

Finally she was done, and she went to look over her measurements. “Such a small creature. But well-proportioned at least. I’ll certainly have this ready for tomorrow.”

Dipper nodded and picked up the shirts. Bill, meanwhile, went to give the lady a few more directions. He gestured to a few parts of the design as he explained, and she nodded in understanding.

Then they left, Bill waving back to her, before clapping Dipper on the shoulder. “Isn’t she fun?”

“Yeah, I guess. Way too touchy though.”

“Her species tends to be like that. Sorry if she made you uncomfortable though.”

“Eh, whatever.”

Dipper dropped off the shirts in his tent, and Bill resumed the tour. And again, his exact memories seemed to blur, but Bill was done showing him around at about two PM, and he spent the rest of the day until dinner working out with the demons. He wasn’t sure why he agreed to, Bill just kinda pushed him into it and they had been encouraging and he just joined in.

He could hardly keep up with anything they were doing, but they kept pushing him and telling him to try harder anyway. They may have been evil, but they were pretty damn supportive.

He barely made it through dinner afterward, and when he showered off, he hardly cared about the fact that he was sharing the room with other creatures. Some of which were fairly humanoid, and the demons hadn’t cared enough to give the facilities any sort of gender division. It didn’t really matter to them. And it didn’t particularly matter to Dipper either.

He cleaned off quickly and got out, and as he was toweling off, saw someone checking him out.

“Can I help you?” he asked.

The creature actually seemed to blush, flinging their hands back and forth. “No, no, sorry, just. Didn’t know who you were, I just… Never mind, ignore me!”

He snorted and finished drying off, pulling on boxer shorts and draping the towel around his neck before going to brush his hair and teeth. Good to know that demons were just as weird and awkward as humans sometimes.

He yawned as he stumbled outside. It would be a couple hours until nighttime but that was fine. Bill had already warned him that days started early and he would be woken up at about six AM and dragged out for the morning exercises.

“And just for you, I changed the morning tune,” Bill had said cheerfully at dinner. “Something a little more recognizable… you’ll find out tomorrow!”

Dipper was sure he was half-asleep as he walked to his tent, mind in a haze. He hardly even reacted to Bill flying over to him.

“Wow, what a day! You look exhausted.”

Dipper groaned in response.

“Same. Were the showers adequate for your needs?”

Dipper peered at him. “Yeah. Not bad, the water was warm at least. But uh… are humans attractive to demons or something? It seems your people keep checking me out.”

“It depends on the demon and the human, I don’t know. Maybe you’re just hot.”

Dipper scoffed. “I doubt that.”

“I dunno… muscle and a strong jaw? Looks great to me. Oh, and we love confidence, so the more sure of yourself you get, the more they’ll love you.”

“Great. Well this has been a long day, I need to sleep.”

“Ah, good idea. I have things to take care of, but you should definitely rest.”

Bill ended up accompanying Dipper to his tent. The human slipped off his flip-flops and sank onto the cot, stretching out and groaning as his muscles protested. He tugged the covers over himself and sighed. Not very comfortable. But bearable.

The dream demon sat next to him.

“Need something?” Dipper slurred, eyes already half-closed.

“Nope. But you’re an insomniac. I’m here to help you fall asleep.”

“I don’t think I’ll have any trouble with that today.”

“Maybe not, but you could still have nightmares… I’ll take care of it. Close your eyes and relax.”

Dipper didn’t feel entirely safe near Bill yet, but he was too exhausted to care. He closed his eyes, letting his tense muscles unwind. There was shifting, and then a small hand set on his temple.

A wave of peace washed over him, and he felt his body go limp.

“Goodnight, Dipper.”

Dipper started to say goodnight back, but he was asleep before he could even finish the first word.

 

Dipper’s sleep was fantastic. He didn’t have a single nightmare and slept all night without waking up once. The only thing that woke him up was the loud and energetic music that suddenly blasted through the camp at 6 AM as promised.

He threw his covers aside and jumped up; and immediately regretted the decision when pain assaulted his legs. They shook and he swore, nearly toppling forward.

And the flimsy door of the tent was pulled open as he was trying to straighten up.

“Good morning!” Bill sang. “Like the music? Duh duh dun dun nuh nuh!”

“Is this…” Dipper recognized it, he’s seen enough boot camp scenes in movies for this tune to be embedded in his brain. He just didn’t know what it was called.

“That’s right, it’s reveille! Time to raise our war flag and go kick some ass! Well, that’s what my already trained units are doing. You and everyone else in this camp get to work out until you pass out.”

“I think I’m already there.” Dipper was in pain as he grabbed comfortable workout clothes and pulled them on.

“Aw, are you sore from yesterday?”

“Yes! I barely even remember what all I did, but yes! My legs are killing me. So is my back, and my arms… everything hurts.”

“I know a good solution for that. More exercise. Also drink more water. Now get out there! Also I would recommend going to the bathroom first. Just. Just trust me.”

Dipper tied his shoes and jogged outside. He went to the bathroom as suggested, and then went to join the group of demons forming up in rows on a large slab of stone in the middle of the camp. It was still dim out, but the Sun would be rising soon.

Bill flew out in front of everyone, and they all stood up straighter, arms at their sides. Dipper hastily copied their pose.

“Good morning, everyone,” he said.

A chorus of, “Good morning, sir!” came back to him.

“I’m not going to take up too much of your time, I know you want to get through this before it gets hot outside. But I want to talk about some quick things. First of all, there’s gonna be some changes in the way I run things around here. I want you all to be efficient and well-organized. We’re creatures of chaos, but if we want to get anything done, we have to have some form of order. So be patient while I figure out the structure I want to use. But it will be based on the typical Earth military. What can I say, they have some good ideas. So I’m designing rank structures and uniforms. I’m gonna make some rules and stuff, figure out our… lifestyle so to speak. I will give you more info on that when it comes. Also I’m sure you noticed but we have a human with us now.”

A few heads turned to glance at Dipper, who tried not to fidget.

“I expect him to be treated with dignity. He’ll probably be leading you all one day. But I also don’t expect you to go easy on him. Whip him into shape. He learns fast but he has a lot of catching up to do.”

Dipper swallowed at the interested stares he received, before complete attention was returned to Bill.

“Well that’s all from me, I’ll talk to you more at breakfast. Have a good workout!” Bill flew away, and his spot was taken by a thickly muscled and angry-looking creature. They looked vaguely human, but had dark red skin and jagged spikes sticking out of them at random.

“That’s Resk, and he’s intense,” someone whispered helpfully to Dipper.

“No talking!” Resk roared, biceps rippling. “Get on your faces! Twenty push-ups, now! If you have no arms then improvise!”

Everyone dropped with no hesitation, doing the demanded exercise.

Dipper wasn’t even to five when his sore arms protested and started shaking, unwilling to lift him any higher. He struggled to push himself up, but just couldn’t do it.

And immediately, Resk was on him.

“What is this, why are you still down there, human?!” he yelled. “Straighten your arms, push yourself up, right now!”

Dipper let out a pained grunt as he tried to complete the push-up.

“I don’t want to hear that, now do it! Get up there!”

Somehow, Dipper found the strength to lift himself up completely. His arms trembled, back dipping slightly.

Resk dropped onto a knee next to him, pointing a clawed finger into his face. “Keep going! Everyone’s waiting for you, and the longer you take, the longer we’re going to run later!”

The others began shouting at him now.

Dipper took in a breath and tried to scrape together some determination, lowering himself back down. His arms shook harder. And when he tried to go back up, they gave out completely, and they crumpled under him as his upper body collapsed to the ground.

The demons jeered at him, and he felt tears sting his eyes.

“What’s your name?” Resk hissed at him.

“Dipper Pines,” he panted, stretching his arms out and lifting himself up, sitting there on hands and knees.

“You are pathetic, Pines, and everyone here is going to suffer because of your incompetence! Are you happy about letting your teammates down?”

Dipper snapped. “Give me a break, I just got here!”

“Five miles!” Resk bellowed. The others groaned and kicked at the ground. “None of that, you all! You should have encouraged him better! Now you’re all going to get down and keep doing push-ups until Dipshit here gets his act together! How many do you have left?”

“...Fifteen,” Dipper replied.

“Oh we’re gonna be here all morning. I hope no one wanted breakfast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything about Resk is lovingly dedicated to my MTIs in basic training. Most particularly Staff Sergeant Gonzales, who scared the everloving shit out of me when I first met her, and would chase me during runs to make sure I didn't slow down. bless her evil soul, she was a great person  
> now turn up your speakers as loud as you can (without earphones please) and play this and imagine having to wake up to that EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING. AT ABOUT 6 AM and you will be a fraction of the way to understanding the misery I am about to put poor Dipper through <3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83ozOX9l7M8


	6. He Is Mine

It was literal hell. Dipper never managed to get to the required number of push-ups. He got to ten and there was sweat pouring off him when Resk declared, “You’re boring me, Pines! Just get up. Everyone pair up for sit-ups!” As they moved, he informed Dipper, “With you here, we have an odd number. So you’re with me.”

“Look, I… I’m sorry I’m so weak, I was literally forced to join yesterday, I had no time to prepare and I hadn’t even taken a gym class in my last year of high school-”

Resk cut him off with a raised hand. “Kid, it’s obvious you were thrown into this. But I can’t treat you any nicer than these other guys. I’m here to motivate and train you, and my methods work. So quit your bitching and lay down, I don’t have to teach you how to do a sit-up, do I?”

Dipper crossed his arms over his chest and laid back. “No.”

Strong hands gripped his ankles, and he saw Resk looming over him, muddy brown eyes unimpressed. “You need to work harder than anyone here. I hope you’re up to it, or they’re gonna tear you apart.”

“I’ll work hard,” Dipper said firmly.

“You better. Okay, everyone who’s doing sit-ups needs to be in the down position! Ready? We go to twenty and then switch! Now follow along! Up!”

Dipper lifted himself up until his elbows touched his legs, and Resk barked, “Down!” He fell back down.

The sit-ups went well enough, Dipper had a fairly strong core. But he was still struggling halfway through, since he was so tired from the push-ups. He kept going though, even if he was off of the pace Resk was setting. The trainer didn’t seem to care though, more satisfied that his trainee was at least doing it.

When they reached twenty, Dipper gratefully flopped down. He did it. He felt proud underneath his exhaustion.

“Not bad, runt. Switch!”

Everyone switched places with their partner. Dipper sat up, giving Resk an unsure look. “Um, are you going to…”

“Hold my feet, and use your knees! In fact, put your entire weight on me!”

Dipper swallowed but moved to secure the demon’s feet. There was no way he’d be able to hold them down, Resk was like three times his size and probably four times as heavy, and all muscle.

“Ready?” Resk called. There was an assenting response. “Begin! Up! Down! 1! Up!”

Dipper had to use all his strength to keep the other’s feet from lifting up. But he managed well enough. He appreciated the break, in a way. It gave other muscles a chance to recover, and his breathing was returning to normal.

Once they got to twenty, Dipper got up and held out his hand. It was workout courtesy, and he regretted it when his hand was seized and he was nearly dragged down when Resk hopped up.

“All right, great!” Resk shouted. “Now back to push-ups, twenty-five this time!”

It was official; Dipper hated everything.

 

After several more minutes of ab and arm workouts, including planking, they were allowed to stand for about a minute and just catch their breath. Dipper saw several people pick up canteens to take swigs out of, and regretted not bringing his own.

“Here you go,” a familiar voice said next to him. He turned to see Bill, offering him a canteen.

“Thanks.” He gratefully took it, uncapping it and taking a drink. The water was warm, and he grimaced.

“Lukewarm water is better for you during a workout,” Bill said. “Man kid, you are dying out here.”

“Is it obvious?” Dipper panted.

“Yeah. Kinda is. But hey, you’ll get stronger in no time! Resk is great, he’ll whip you into shape! In fact, go too slow and he might just actually whip you! Haha!” Bill slapped his back and went over to Resk. “Doing good! Keep pushing them! I’ve gotta get back to my trainees.”

“Oh yes… the magic users without truly physical bodies,” Resk scoffed. “Well, enjoy. We’ll be here actually doing work.”

“I certainly will enjoy! See ya, have fun on that run!”

“Fun and run do not belong together in the same sentence,” Dipper said. Bill just waved and teleported away.

“Alright everyone, time to put down your canteens!” Resk called. “We’re going out for a run. How many miles are we going, Pines?”

Dipper sighed when all eyes turned onto him, many accusingly. “Five.”

“A mere warm-up! Let’s go, form up outside the gate!”

Dipper found himself wishing his leg was broken so he wouldn’t have to run. This was easily the worst day of his life.

 

The trainees didn’t get back to camp until nearly seven-thirty AM. And there were stragglers coming in at around eight. Dipper was among the last few to get back. And he was jogging at a speed that most people could walk faster than. One of his ankles was sprained, so he limped every time that foot came down. He had survived the entire distance, but he was ready to collapse. He wasn’t sure how he was still going. Pure willpower alone, probably. And Resk following behind him and yelling probably helped.

Once they were all back on that stone slab, Resk criticized their performance, and then led them through some cooldown stretches. And finally, he dismissed them.

“Pines, stay back,” he called.

Dipper swore under his breath but walked over to him, nervously gripping his canteen.

Resk waited until the area was relatively cleared out, then said, “Starting out is never easy. But you’ll get better. You keep coming out here every morning, and join some of the guys for their afternoon routines, you’ll bulk up in no time. Drink lots of water, eat protein and iron and calcium. It won’t get easier, but you’ll get better.”

Dipper nodded, shifting his weight so it was off of his hurt ankle. “Okay.”

“Go to the medical tent so they can look at that. Other than that, I don’t have anything else for you. Get out of my face and go shower, you reek.”

Dipper hurried away, but he caught the smile on Resk’s face. The trainer really wasn’t such a bad guy.

He took a long shower, allowing himself to savor the sensation of the water running down tired muscles, washing away the sweat, along with the layer of dirt and ash that had settled on him.

He was scrubbing dirt out from under his nails when he was roughly shoved from behind. He stumbled and hit the wall, and when he turned, he saw a gathering of demons behind him, none looking happy.

“What the fuck are you even doing here, human?” one snarled, pushing him again. He winced as his back hit the handle for the showerhead.

“Yeah, Dipshit weakling,” another growled.

Dipper struggled to stand up straight, both feet planted despite how his ankle burned with pain. “Bill personally asked me to join his army. He wanted me to be a leader. Well, I said I wasn’t ready for that, so he started me at a lower rank. And here I am, to train and learn. Just like you.”

“Why would Cipher ask a human to join his army? You’re nothing to him, you’re just a pathetic mortal that will die in his first real conflict. You’ll get knifed in the throat or shot in the head and that’s that.”

Dipper looked for a way out past the demons, but they had him effectively cornered. He had to stand up to them. “Bill must have thought I was capable. He’s known me for six years. Far longer than any of you have.”

“Six years might as well be six hours to a being like him,” someone scoffed.

Dipper shrugged. “Nonetheless, he knows me better than any of you. So kindly fuck off and let me finish my shower.”

A couple backed away, but another seized Dipper by the neck and slammed him into the wall. He choked, hands coming up to grab the demon’s wrists, tugging on them fruitlessly.

“You’re worthless, human filth. You’re not worthy of fighting with us, and we don’t appreciate you making Resk punish all of us for your shortcomings. If you were smart, you’d run away and never come back.”

“I can’t, I’m Bill’s, I made a deal with him,” Dipper coughed. “As long as I’m here, my family is safe. I-I have no choice.” His fingernails clawed into the other’s wrists, but they still didn’t let go.

“Is that so? Well, I really don’t care about your family at all, so… get ‘im, boys.”

Dipper was released, only for the surrounding demons to descend on him, lashing at him with their claws, punching, some even biting. He raised his arms to defend himself the best he could, trying to at least keep them from hitting his face, but he was soon overwhelmed by the number. And then one grabbed his injured ankle and yanked it out from under him, and he landed hard on the tile floor, the back of his head slamming into it and nearly knocking him out. He stared up in a daze, before the pain of multiple creatures hitting him snapped him out of it, and he tried to kick them away. If he wasn’t so tired, he would probably be able to take out at least a few, but right now his movements were sluggish.

He soon had to roll over and curl into a ball just to protect his face, arms curled up in front of it, just taking the blows. He was aware of every single rip in his skin, every strike to his flesh, the sharp points of teeth… And he could do nothing to stop them.

He didn’t beg, though. They obviously had it in their mind that they were going to beat him to a pulp. Asking for mercy would get him nowhere. These weren’t humans. They didn’t care about his pain. But he mentally pleaded for it to stop. Over and over again, he repeated in his head, _Please stop it hurts I want it to stop please PLEASE_ -

_What hurts?_

Dipper’s heart skipped a beat. Oh, he never thought he’d be so happy to hear that voice in his mind. _Bill! You can hear me?_

_Well yeah, I’ve had this bond with you since we made our deal. Did I not mention? Anyway, what’s going on?_

Dipper elected not to yell at him for that. Instead, he thought, _Your stupid soldiers are attacking me! They ganged up on me in the showers, can you please come stop them?!_

_Oh, fuck no._

Dipper could feel the rage from the other through their connection alone. And then the heat in the room seemed to increase tenfold, the water turning to steam, all shower heads turning off and leaving the room quiet, as the creatures immediately stopped attacking and straightened up, looking around.

Shaking, Dipper slowly uncurled himself and looked around, panting in the intense heat and licking his dry lips. His limbs protested, but he pushed himself into a sitting position. He saw Bill, floating just beyond the shower area, and even with just an eye, it was obvious that he was _pissed_. His entire body was red, flames coating his arms.

“What the hell are you doing?” he demanded.

The demons shuffled about, and then one said, “Ah, Cipher, forgive us, but… the human here, he insulted us.”

A split second later, Bill was in the demon’s face, roaring at it, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HE INSULTED YOU?”

“Ah, well, you see, he uh… got all of us in trouble! Yes, at training, his pathetic behavior resulted in the rest of us being punished. We were not going to stand for it.”

Bill grabbed the other and threw them aside, before rounding on the rest. They all wisely scurried back.

“Let’s make one thing clear,” he said, voice dangerously low. “You do not touch Dipper. You will not hurt him. He is mine. He wouldn’t be here if I didn’t see great potential in him, and I will not have any of you fuckers killing him! ARE WE CLEAR?!”

The others nodded, some whimpering.

“I SAID, _ARE WE CLEAR_?”

“YES SIR!”

“Good! Now get out of here before I start ripping you all apart for insulting _me_ with your savagery!”

The entire building was cleared in about ten seconds.

Bill didn’t change back to yellow until they were gone. Then he turned to Dipper and floated down to help him up. Dipper’s leg buckled, and he had to grab the demon with both hands to stay up. Bill’s eye widened. “Did they-”

“N-no, my leg was already hurt after training. God, that hurts…” Dipper looked down at his body, all the cuts and bruises covering it. Blood was still running from several of the wounds, and he felt dizzy.

“At their core, so many of them are just… animals,” Bill said. “Wild and violent, not liking those who don’t fit into their pack mentality. I’m… how exactly did this happen?”

“It’s like they said. I got them in trouble. At training, I… I couldn’t do the same amount of exercise they could, and… since I couldn’t do it, Resk just… gave everyone more work to do. He made them all feel personally responsible for my failure. And they just… turned on me. They cornered me and started beating me, I don’t know if they were going to kill me but they definitely wanted to hurt me… I couldn’t fight off any of them.” Dipper brushed his arm over his eyes and sniffed, looking away.

Bill gave him a sympathetic look. “Hey, it’s okay. Fuck all of them. You’re fantastic. Maybe you’re not as strong as them… but you will be. You just have to keep training. You know what you have that they don’t, though? Intelligence. I bet you’re smarter than any of them. They know that I chose you personally. And they hate you for it.”

Dipper didn’t respond, just staring off into space. Bill had to wave at him for a few moments before he finally shook his head and focused on him again. “Right. S-sorry, I just… I’m so tired.”

“I know. Here, why don’t you get cleaned up? I’ll stay right here and make sure none of them come back. Then I can heal you.”

“You have healing magic?” Dipper turned the shower back on, letting it wash away the blood.

“Yep. It’s not the best, but it’ll do. I’ll at least get those cuts closed up, and the rest can be taken care of by a specialized mage that we have.”

“Okay.” Dipper stayed under the spray until the blood stopped running, and then got out. He shivered a bit, and Bill began examining his wounds, muttering to himself and working his blue magic over all of the large ones. Dipper watched this quietly, vision blurring and darkening as he started to fall asleep, before forcing himself to wake back up. The pain faded as Bill worked, but he had no energy. He really needed to eat something.

When Bill finished, he backed off, allowing Dipper to go get dressed. The human merely pulled on his underwear and a pair of shorts, carrying his shirt as he left the building. He didn’t bother to go to the medical tent, or to get the clothing he had been promised yesterday. He just went right back to his tent and collapsed onto the cot.

“Oh no.” Bill tried to prod him up, but he only groaned and kept his eyes closed, exhaustion like lead in his limbs. He could feel the pain dimming in a way, but it also seemed to be spreading out, filling his entire body. “Kid, get up.”

“Please, just one nap.”

“No, you can’t sleep, you’re…” Bill’s hand touched his forehead, and felt down to his nose, feeling his breathing. “Dear Lucifer, you’re poisoned! One of those demons... oh, no. One has venomous claws. They must have cut you! Dipper, trust me, you have to get up and go to the medical tent, they need to fix you.”

“I’ll be fine, just let me sleep.”

“Unacceptable, up you go.” Bill slid his arms under him and lifted him completely off the bed.

“Can you carry me?”

Bill set him down on his feet. “I can’t carry you over there, but I can support you.” He pulled one of Dipper’s arms around him, and led him outside.

Dipper complained the whole way, but he walked, stumbling every few steps.

“I should have supervised the training,” Bill muttered. “Or warned them not to mess with you before. I’m sorry this happened.”

“Eh, could be worse, I guess… at least they didn’t kill me.”

“True, but you will be dead if you don’t get treated.”

That was all Dipper needed to hear. He moved faster, and as he traveled across the hard packed ground, he wished the medical tent was closer. This walk was short, but it was going to be torture...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm used to running 5Ks, which come out to about 3.11 miles. Dipper here had to run 5 miles, likely without being able to walk at any point. The pain can be excruciating, your lungs burn and there's pain in your sides and your nose will probably start running and you're panting really hard and your legs are probably protesting every single step. RIP Dipper  
> luckily, I never experienced abuse as a result of my fitness problems in basic. poor child


	7. How Do You Feel?

The pain in Dipper's body had grown in intensity by the time he entered the medical tent, and he was sweating and trembling, vision fuzzy.

“What happened?” a plump creature with rounded features called out in alarm. Their voice was feminine but Dipper could never be sure with demons.

“Kass, this is Dipper Pines, he got jumped by a bunch of guys in the showers. One of them was a venomous snak, I’m certain. He has no immunity.” Bill helped Dipper forward. “Here, this is Kass, she’ll take care of you.”

“Kay,” he slurred, letting the other take him into her arms. She wore a soft white gown and had strangely pretty blue skin laced with a webwork of glowing pink lines. Really, she just looked like a healer.

“Oh my, you’re already in shock,” Kass said, pushing Dipper’s chin back and examining him.

“You can heal him, right?” Bill asked, a touch of concern in his voice. Then he blinked and turned away, voice carefully neutral as he continued, “I handpicked him for a certain job, it would be unfortunate if he died.”

“I can certainly heal him. Just relax, Dipper, and you’ll be feeling better in a jiffy!” Unlike Bill, Kass had no qualms about simply lifting Dipper and carrying him. But she didn’t carry him far; only to a bed, which she laid him down on. Humming, she washed her hands with some sort of liquid, and then she traced her fingers over his body. She stopped over a particular set of scratches and then began murmuring, almost singing in another language. Her palms glowed pink.

Dipper opened his eyes partway to watch, seeing that there were lines of bright green under the surface of his skin, but they faded away as the magic soaked into his body. The pain was replaced by numbness, which then turned into a light tingling. He became more alert, able to feel his heart beating faster.

He soon opened his eyes fully as the green completely disappeared, and the rest of his wounds closed up and healed as well.

Bill hovered right next to him the entire time, and when Dipper glanced at him, he saw that the other was worried. But then his eye met Dipper’s and he blinked, expression turning more blank. Dipper wasn’t fooled.

“Are you worried about me?” he teased.

“Of course not,” Bill scoffed. “You’re incredibly hardy, you Pines survive everything.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to lie about how much you care about me. I mean, you must, if you sought me out to be your general. You must have a lot of faith in me.”

Bill turned away a bit, more aloof as he crossed his arms. “I don’t have to care about you to tell you’re capable. I have use for your talents. So I’m trying to keep you alive. All there is to it.”

“So how come you even offered to protect my family?”

“To get you to agree.”

“Is that why you also stopped calling me by a name that triggers me and also offered to cure my anxiety and other problems? Why you used your magic to help me sleep?”

“Pft. The healthier and more well-rested you are, the better a soldier you’ll be. That’s it, quit looking for some deeper meaning.”

Dipper snorted. “Yeah, you’re right. I should stop trying to see you as anything more than some selfish asshole.”

“Yeah, you should. I like you, but you’re replaceable. Never forget that.”

Dipper was silent for a few moments, watching the healer as she rubbed some kind of potion onto some of the wounds that her magic hadn’t taken care of. Then he looked back at Bill. “But you like me.”

Bill uncrossed his arms. “You’re… fun,” he spat. “I have… enjoyed our conversations. You remind me a lot of Ford. But if you were to die it would only mildly disappoint me.”

“Heh. You’re acting so defensive. It’s funny. What’s the matter, too demon to show you care?”

“You’re so insufferable.” Bill started to leave, but Dipper reached out to grab his wrist.

“You care about me. It’s obvious,” Dipper stated. “How you immediately stopped calling me by that other name when I asked, how you agreed so readily to my conditions, the way you helped me get to sleep, and earlier today, getting those other demons away from me and helping me walk… you didn’t have to do half that stuff. But you did. I see through your little facade. You have some affection in that cold heart of yours.”

“I don’t have a heart.” Bill tugged his arm away. “Stop overthinking things. Kass, he’s okay now, right?”

“Yep, he’ll make a full recovery.”

“Okay, good. Also I don’t know if you noticed but his ankle is hurt. This one.” Bill slapped his hand down on it and Dipper cringed. “Take care of that too, can you?”

“Will do, Mr. Cipher.”

“I’ll be waiting for you at your tent,” Bill said. “Pick up your uniform before you come back, and make sure you’re given boots to go with it. Black ones.”

“Okay.” Dipper watched the other leave, and then looked at Kass as she healed his ankle and bound it for some additional support. “Have you known him long?”

“Hardly, but he needed lots of healers for his army so I got recruited. He’s not so bad though. I’ve gotten to know him and he’s… Dismissive of most people’s feelings, but I can tell he has love in him. If only a limited amount. He’s shown a lot of kindness to you, albeit in strange ways.”

“Hmph. He needs to be nicer.”

“Probably won’t happen.” Kass finished and stepped back. “Okay, go ahead and stand.”

Dipper climbed off the bed. His leg ached when he put pressure on it, but he felt much better than before. He walked around in circles, then returned to Kass. She examined his posture, and then had him sit down, checking his vitals. It took a few minutes for her to be satisfied that he was alright, but she told him to come back after dinner anyway.

When released, he thanked her and left to find the clothing supply. He had just visited it yesterday, but all the tents and buildings looked very similar. It took him a few tries to find it. But he knew he was in the right one the moment he opened the door and was met with a gloomy interior and quite a few cobwebs in the corners.

“Hello, darling,” the large spider woman greeted him.

“Hi. I'm so sorry, I never got your name,” he said apologetically.

“You can call me Araneus.”

“Ah. I'm Dipper.”

“Dipper Pines?”

“Yeah. How did you know my last name?”

Araneus tugged some clothing out from under the counter and laid it out. “Bill requested that I put your last name on the uniform, he said it seemed to be a normal thing for uniformed humans to do. So, what do you think?”

Dipper came over to check out the outfit. It looked a lot like typical army camouflage, except instead of being in various shades of green with a digital pixel pattern, its base color was a medium red, striped with darker red and jagged black lines.

He slid his hand over the fabric. It was thick, and somewhat stiff, but not as bad as he was expecting. He soon lifted the coat to examine it front and back. It was currently buttoned up, and the collar had sharp points to it. On each lapel was a diagonal gold bar, standing out proudly against the red and black fabric.

His last name was stitched over the top of the right breast pocket in gold silk, while the left pocket had a triangular insignia in the same color. The triangle had a small oval in it, like an eye; Bill's own crest, most likely.

“It's definitely got enough pockets,” Dipper commented. The top had two more, slightly larger pockets, further down in the stomach region, and on the left arm were pouches for pens. The right shoulder had a larger pouch, big enough that it could probably hold a small walkie-talkie. He would probably be using it for ammo or explosives or something.

A quick look at the pants revealed even more pockets. They had the same color pattern to them, but there was no gold to be found. There were regular pockets right at the hips like what one would expect to find on a pair of jeans, as well as ones on the buttocks, but then they had huge cargo pockets on each lower thigh, which he could easily fit a novel or notebook into. Just under one of the knees was what looked like more slots for pens. Or possibly dynamite? Anything with a fairly tube-like shape could probably be slipped into there. The pocket on the other side wasn't slotted, just an open pouch like the one on the right arm, currently held closed with a black button.

Once Dipper was done looking over the uniform, Araneus took it back and folded it. Then she placed two more uniforms, already folded, on top of it. Along with a solid black belt with a golden buckle and two pairs of black boots.

“Need any socks?” she asked.

Dipper was about to say that he already brought some, but it occurred to him that these boots would go higher up his legs than his socks could, and he said, “I could use some.”

She placed four rolls of blood red socks onto the pile. “Need anything else?”

“Are these boots going to fit me?” Dipper checked them for a size.

“Bill told me your shoe size.”

He stared at her, then chuckled nervously and set the boots down. “Creepy. But okay. Um... I don't know how much Bill based this off what the military usually does but... is there a hat of any sort?”

“Oh, silly me, there is. I almost forgot.” She picked up a cap in the same red/black camo pattern and slapped it onto Dipper's head. “There you go, dear.”

He reached up to remove it and look it over. It was pretty standard, with a brim like a trucker hat, but the rest of it was much flatter. On the front was that same diagonal gold slash that the uniform top possessed. This must be Bill's symbol for the first rank, then. Pretty much the same as a United States officer. Well, at least it'll be recognizable when he starts fighting against other soldiers.

He still wasn't used to the idea of that. One day, maybe very soon, he'll be fighting people. He'll be attacking and even killing his own kind. The thought filled him with dread.

Dipper set the hat on the pile and lifted it all in his arms. “I think this is it. Thank you very much.”

“No problem, let me know if you need anything!” She waved as he left.

When Dipper got back to his tent, Bill impatiently ushered him in and had him lay out the clothing on top of the footlocker.

“Okay, let's see you in all this, you're gonna look intimidating. This should be obvious, but... shirt first, and you should probably go ahead and put on the socks because they're pretty long... then the uniform trousers, tuck the shirt into those, pull the belt on and buckle it, and finally the uniform top. Then your boots. The bottoms of the pant legs can be tucked into the boots, along with your laces. Well, get to it.”

Dipper grumbled but got dressed as told. The shirt was comfortable, he found. And the socks were soft but thick.

He tugged on the pants, tucked his shirt in, pulled the belt through the loops, and buckled it.

Bill waited with arms crossed, watching the other dress. Once everything was on, he flew down to help tuck the laces into the boots so they were out of the way, and then floated back up to adjust the collar of the blouse.

“How do you feel?” Bill asked.

“I feel... awkward,” Dipper admitted. He held his arms out, looking at the fabric covering them. “I don't feel cut out for this kind of thing. Being military, like... I don't think I've earned the right to wear this type of uniform.”

“Well, you're part of _my_ military now, so you've more than earned the right. You look great, by the way. Real imposing. These colors look good on you.”

Dipper shifted a bit, absentmindedly messing with his hair. Then he remembered something about every male he's ever seen in the military. “Hey, uh... are you gonna make me cut my hair real short, like guys usually have to do? And shave and stuff?”

Bill scoffed. “No, I don't care about that nonsense. The amount of hair on your head has nothing to do with your ability to kill people. Be as hairy as you want, that's your business.”

Dipper sighed with relief. His hair may be curly and fairly messy most of the time, but he didn't want to lose it.

Once Bill was satisfied with the collar, he floated back to look Dipper over. He moved in a circle around him, and rested his elbow on his hand, looking thoughtful. Then he said, “I like it. Any human that sees you should be afraid. But you need to be more confident. Stand up straighter. Stop looking so nervous.”

Dipper fidgeted, wringing his hands. Then he said, “I uh... I've been busy enough that I haven't thought about it, but... now I just... I haven't taken my pills since, well... yesterday at about 2 AM, when you woke me up. I... get kinda anxious without them.”

“Did you pack them?”

“N-no, you said you were going to cure me.”

“Right... right, I did. And I don't break promises. All right, sit down.”

Dipper sank onto his cot, and Bill moved to stand on his thighs, reaching up to grasp his head with his strangely warm hands. Dipper almost wanted to turn his head away, still not trusting Bill, but he was getting used to him being in his personal space all the time.

“Oh boy, kid, you've got a lot of problems,” Bill commented, a glow deep in his eye as he searched through Dipper's mind.

“You're responsible for most of them,” Dipper muttered.

“Yeahh, I seem to be, don't I? Well let's get to the root of your anxiety...” Bill began looking into Dipper's subconscious, and the human could only wait, listening to the demon mutter about 'paranoia' and 'childhood trauma.' More than once, he paused to ask Dipper some questions about how he perceived certain events, before continuing.

“You scared the shit out of me when I was younger,” Dipper said. “And even when you were gone, I was always afraid that you'd come back and just... kill me. Kill me and Mabel and everyone else in my family... you never did, but it's hard to sleep at night knowing that you could be watching. And all the other monsters I encountered over the years, it just... I don't know. It got to me.”

“Yes, I can see that. I'm gonna have to ease your fear of all these monsters in your head. This could take months or even years of therapy... luckily, I'm a mind demon. Do I have permission to alter your perception of all this so you aren't afraid anymore?”

Dipper wasn't really sure what he meant. “Um... will that help me?”

“Certainly! None of these critters can get at you anymore, you're completely safe here with me. I'm looking after you and I will protect you the best I can. There's no need to be so nervous anymore. Let me help you.”

“You're just doing this to make me a more efficient killer, aren't you? You still don't really care about me or my feelings.”

“Don't overthink things, that's how we get problems like this in the first place. Close your eyes and relax, this shouldn't take long.”

Dipper sighed but closed his eyes, feeling Bill's magic surge through him. It was familiar now. Like how he imagined fire would feel if it wasn't dangerous. He felt the tension leave his muscles, his unsure thoughts put to ease. He was important, a voice seemed to whisper. He was needed. He was valuable. He was strong and courageous and intelligent, and there was no reason to be anxious. If anything challenged him, he could beat it.

He knew these thoughts were fabricated, but... they really sounded like things he was telling himself, and he let himself ignore the fact that Bill had implanted them. Better to feel like this than lack confidence, right?

Bill pulled his hands away with an approving nod. “I think that took care of it. How do you feel?”

Dipper considered. He felt much more at ease now. “Better.”

“You let me know if those feelings come back, but if you're feeling all right now, get up. The day is still young, you missed breakfast but you can still go in there to grab some leftovers... or you can come with me and I'll test you to see what kind of magical potential you have. I would love for you to join my team of spellcasters, they're much more intelligent than those brutes that you were training with earlier, you might connect with them better. We can have lunch in a couple hours.”

“Yeah, sounds great. I could give magic a try.” Dipper had always been gifted with magic, able to do summoning rituals and speak magical words with ease. He was sure that with the right training, he could do much more.

“Excellent! Got your hat? Come on, let's go outside, I have a whole pavilion for our training, I'll introduce you to the folks!”

Dipper put his hat on, adjusted it to make sure it was straight, and followed Bill outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sure hope Dipper's boots are more merciful toward his toes than mine were when I first started wearing them.
> 
> (i made a few mistakes when coloring in the uniform, the dark red splotches are supposed to be striped and the triangle symbol should have an oval missing out of it to look like an eye. and of course the name should be written in gold lettering. sorry, haha)


	8. You'll Be A Great Mage One Day

Bill's troops seemed to approve of Dipper's outfit. Still, he was wary as he passed some of them. Particularly, the ones that had attacked him earlier. These individuals cast him baleful looks, and turned away when Bill's eye passed over them. Dipper sidled a little bit closer to Bill, and felt the other's arm drape around his neck. The touch was strangely comforting, and Dipper saw the other demons nod and mutter among themselves. But since they kept their distance, he decided that having Bill's arm around him wasn't such a bad thing.

“Bill, they're talking about us,” Dipper said.

“Indeed they are.” Bill suddenly raised his voice, yelling at a group that was huddled under a pavilion. “That is not how to properly treat a sucking chest wound, you would kill the person doing that! Which is good if you come upon a wounded enemy, but it's not good if you're trying to help one of us!” He let go of Dipper to fly over and show them the correct procedure. Then he returned to Dipper. When the boy gave him a confused look, he explained, “Medical treatment. Some demons are just magic and energy, but many are actually flesh and blood. They can be hurt. Cut open, impaled, burnt, possibly even diseased, it just depends. So I'm making sure they know how to save themselves. And each other. Of course, most demons aren't meant to heal, but to destroy. This aid stuff is foreign to them. But it's necessary.”

Dipper nodded in understanding. “Am I gonna learn that stuff?”

“Yep! I'll probably have you take an afternoon class. For now... come on in here.” Bill pushed aside a flap in one of the larger tents, and the two went in, Dipper taking his hat off once out of the bright sunlight and fixing his hair.

Bill's entry was greeted by a multitude of demons, most of which had colorful, non-Euclidean forms that weren't entirely physical. A stark contrast to the generally bulky, horned, dark and neutral-colored ones Dipper had trained with earlier.

“Hey, I remember you,” he said to a hot pink demon with an hourglass figure and sharp horns. White flames continuously curled around her arms and legs.

“Hi, Dipper,” she said, giving a little wave.

“Well, you've met Pyronica,” Bill said, leading Dipper closer. “Let me introduce you to the rest of the crew.”

Dipper had met a good number of them at dinner yesterday, but he didn't mind the refresher. He shook hands (and equivalent appendages), exchanged a few words, and soon felt much more at home than he did earlier. These guys were intelligent and charismatic. They seemed eager to see what he could do.

“Dipper doesn't know how to use magic yet, but that's why he's here,” Bill announced. “To learn. So everyone... go ahead and work on whatever you want today, while I get him up to speed. Pyronica, you're a good motivator, stay with us. And hmm, someone who's good with dark magic... Luthgore, get over here.”

A creature the size of a small horse peeled off from the rest of the group, padding over on nearly silent paws. He had a cat-like body covered in black fur, and bony extrusions circled the length of his middle, looking all too much like his ribs were exposed. Maybe they were.

The end of his slender was tail was split into three forks and his mouth was filled with sharp teeth. There was no white to his eyes; they were a dazzling emerald green, with slit pupils.

Dipper had felt queasy as he shook Luthgore's paw earlier, and now he was even more unsettled. The mere presence of him was making him edgy, almost afraid.

Bill watched everyone for a few moments to make sure they were practicing, then turned to his team.

“All right, new blood!” Pyronica suddenly rasped, making Dipper jump. She moved close to him, excitedly raising her fists. “What do ya got? Show us!”

“Well, I uh...” He shifted. “I can do spells if I have the incantations and whatever items, but... I don't know how to just make fire, like Bill does.”

“Well, making fire is easy!” The flames on Pyronica's arms went out. “You just find that fire in your belly and imagine it going to whatever body part you want and then just unleash it!” The white fire burst back up. “Of course I'm always on fire because I'm just that awesome.”

Dipper looked down at his own hands, then back up, skeptical.

“It won't be easy at first,” Bill said. “Most demons are naturally gifted with magic, and it's as easy to us as breathing, but you have to learn everything. How to sense it, how to take control of it, how to use it for yourself... And you're mortal too, there's only so much energy you can store at first. But that's why Luthgore is here, to teach you how to harness magic from... other sources.”

“Okay. Well...” Dipper stretched. “I'm ready to get started.”

“That's the spirit!” Bill clapped his shoulder. “Okay, first lesson! Sensing magic!”

The next several minutes consisted of the three demons hurling what Bill called 'raw magic' at Dipper while he tried to sense it. The magic was harmless, without alignment, an energy and no more. It was almost like heat except it wasn't hot. Not cold either. Apparently it would feel unlike anything else he's ever felt. And when his skin finally tingled with a strange awareness, he realized what they meant.

“I felt it,” he informed them.

“Good,” Bill replied. “However you had to focus to feel that? Keep that focus. Get used to it. Soon enough it'll be a constant awareness. That's the goal.”

They continued until Dipper was confident he could tell when magic was touching him. And even when he stopped, he reported his skin prickling as the others in the room continued using magic in their own practices.

“Good!” Bill said happily. “That's what we want! But the flow of magic is nearly always around you. It's part of nature. And it's there for you to take from whenever you want. Reciting spells with a desire for action is enough to make magic respond, especially if you have an innate talent. And you do. So let's try something simple and summon some fire, hmm? All you gotta do is focus on the magic, desire for fire to grow in your hand, and say, 'Ignis.' Go on, try it.”

Dipper looked down, concentrating on the magic around him. He wasn't sure how to control it. But maybe it would listen to him. “Ignis.”

Nothing.

“Ah, it never works right away,” Bill said. “Try again, with more feeling. You have to want it.”

“You can do it!” Pyronica cheered.

It took several attempts. And when something finally did happen, it was just a spark in his palms, a sudden burn that made him flinch and yank his hands back.

“It's a start!” Bill said gleefully, grasping Dipper's hands and turning them so he could check out the damage. “You've got some real power in you... You'll be a great mage one day.” He slid his fingers across Dipper's palms, hands glowing blue as he healed the burns.

Dipper met the other's eye. He was getting used to Bill being close to him. He was still nervous about the other touching him, expecting him to twist his arm or burn him in a sudden desire for vengeance, but it seemed the dream demon no longer cared about how Dipper had defeated him in the past, or how much the human had hated him. It was just irrelevant to a being who was billions of years old and would most likely exist for billions more. Bill wasn't going to hurt him.

“You really do think too much,” Bill chuckled. He let go and floated back. “Keep practicing.”

Dipper had caught a glimpse of pride in the other's eye as he had healed him, but said nothing, trying to summon the fire again.

Several minutes (and burns) later, and he was cupping a bright yellow flame in his hands. It curled and uncurled, its heat washing over Dipper's face.

“There you go!” Bill clapped him on the back.

“It's beautiful,” Pyronica said.

“It's a good start,” Luthgore said. He has been the quietest of the three, having offered practical advise and little else, seemingly content to just observe.

Dipper's hands were starting to blister. But he was used to it by now. “So how do I keep it from burning me?”

“You're too submissive to the magic's whims,” Luthgore answered. “Tell it that it's not in charge, you are. And you will not stand for it hurting you.”

“You have to concentrate on it not hurting you,” Bill said. “Just think about that too. As Luthgore said, you're in charge.”

Dipper tried to will the fire not to hurt him. It went out completely. He sighed as the sight of his reddened skin, some areas even singed white and peeling off. His palms stung fiercely.

“Here...” Bill once again healed him, and Dipper watched as his skin smoothed out and returned to its normal color. Bill's hands lingered in his for a moment, and the demon's eye met his, a strange expression within. Was that pity? Sympathy? Then it disappeared and Bill backed off.

“Perhaps a different practice is in order,” Luthgore commented. “Something that won't hurt him.”

“Well, if he wants to switch so soon he can, but it'd probably be counterproductive,” Bill replied. “He should be capable of one thing at least, before we change to another.”

“I want to keep working with fire,” Dipper said. “I get how to do it now, I can get better. I just have to be careful.”

Bill turned to him, pride clear in his eye this time. “That's what I like to hear! I knew having you join me would be a good idea.”

With Bill's instruction and Pyronica's encouragement, Dipper was soon able to wield the flames for as long as he wanted, and each time he cast them, it seemed to hurt his hands less and less. Nonetheless, any time his burns started to sting, Bill would always stop to heal him. Dipper couldn't help but wonder why. Surely it would make more sense for him to just wait until they were done? It wasn't like this was hurting Dipper too badly. He preferred mild burns to the muscle pain he had suffered earlier. Actually, he was still kinda feeling it. It would probably be a lot worse tomorrow.

Bill must care about him, he told himself. Despite how the demon tried to deny it, tried to insist he was just using him for his practical skills and had no emotional attachment... he obviously did. And that made Dipper feel a little better about this situation, knowing that the other was looking out for him. Maybe with time, Bill will open up to him. He was stuck with the demon... might as well learn to get along with him.

After an hour, Dipper found that he was exhausted. His magic kept sputtering out and dying, and when he took a few steps, he nearly stumbled.

“Sorry, I'm tired,” he apologized, yawning.

“You'll build more stamina as you practice,” Bill said. “For now, using spells is going to be a great drain on your energy. Luckily, fire is pretty simple... hence why even an amateur like you were able to practice for so long. But now you're finding it difficult to continue.”

“Yeah,” Dipper agreed.

“Which means that it's time for Luthgore to give you a lesson in replenishing your energy.”

The large, cat-like demon stood, pacing around Dipper. “You're aware of the law of conservation of energy, yes?”

“Energy can be neither created nor destroyed, it can only transform from one form to another.”

“Indeed. You can't just pull new energy for yourself out of nowhere, but you can certainly take it from other sources. From other places, from objects... from creatures. Living things. Trees, dogs, birds... humans. You can make another as tired as you are now, by taking enough energy to replenish your own strength. As long as you don't take too much, it won't harm them whatsoever. But honestly, we're going to war, that's not important. We can take what we want from our enemies. Every bit of them. Their blood and souls and lifeforce... This is one of the many kinds of dark magic, and Bill wants me to train you in it.”

Dipper swallowed. “So... you want me to take the life from others just to give myself more magic? That's horrible.”

“Isn't it?” Bill messed with his hair. “I think you'll be great at it. It's a very useful type of magic. And once you've got that down, I can start teaching you about using the extra magic to make yourself stronger, and enchant weapons, and put up wards... all kinds of fun things.”

“You're tired right now,” Luthgore stated, tail flicking at Dipper's back and nearly knocking him forward. “But it's not quite physical. It just feels that way because you're unused to the lethargy that comes with rapid magic depletion. You can easily recover from it... and I'm going to show you how. Bill, do you have a source for him?”

“I sure do.” Bill snapped his fingers, and a rat appeared in the air in front of him. He grabbed it around the neck, not choking it, but preventing it from escaping or biting him. The rodent squealed with distress.

“This will suffice for you to learn on.” Luthgore nudged Dipper close to the rat. “Here's what you have to do. You know how to sense magic now, yes? Well, with concentration, your mind's eye can see the aura of living things. This rat should glow compared to your surroundings. It's full of energy. Energy that you can harness. Much like reciting a spell and desiring for it to happen, you're going to focus on the energy inside the rat and pull it out. Wish for it. Want it. And it will be yours. You have to be firm, though. A soul will not part a living body so easily.”

Dipper had no idea what to actually do, but he decided to wing it. He reached out slowly, trying to concentrate and see the aura like Luthgore had described. He wasn't able to see any difference. His vision remained the same, though maybe... maybe there was something else too, some kind of extra sense that he couldn't describe, like the one that allowed him to feel the flow of magic. There was something about the rat. He could only describe it as a kind of brightness. It certainly stood out from its surroundings. He touched the creature's head, feeling down the fur. It tried to bite him, and he yanked his fingers away.

“Just take the soul, it's easy,” Bill said. “Rip it on out of there. Think of it like a weird gel or something. Really hard to grab a hold of, but with the right finesse, you can sink your fingers in just enough to pull it out. Geeze, it's hard teaching you guys to do magic from scratch, all this stuff is so foreign to you.”

Dipper couldn't figure it out. He was too tired, thoughts drifting off to other places like food or bed, and he really didn't know why he was still standing here with his fingers awkwardly held near a struggling rat. He could definitely feel the soul, as Luthgore had said. But actually extracting it was the part he didn't understand.

“You can't physically grab it,” Luthgore explained. “It's like manipulating your fire with your thoughts and words. You must do the same for the rat. You have to mentally take control. Go on, just try.”

“I am.” Dipper really did, but as much as he focused and mentally 'pulled' at the energy, it wouldn't respond to him. And the effort only seemed to wear him out more. He finally gave up and sank down to sit on the floor, sighing.

“You're giving up already?” Luthgore demanded, outraged.

“Come on Pines, you're better than that,” Pyronica said. “I ain't gonna let you be a quitter, eat that rat's soul!”

“I'll figure it out later.” Dipper rubbed his eyes as his vision blurred.

Bill floated down in front of him, wordlessly holding the rat out. It wasn't really fighting anymore, resigned to its fate. Dipper started to reach for it, perhaps to just set it free out of spite, but then Bill moved his thumb and snapped its neck. Dipper flinched at the crack, but watched curiously as Bill moved his other hand over its head and curled his fingers slightly, as though grasping something. Dipper sensed a small flow of magic moving toward him, and when it reached him, he perked up. It almost seemed to burn, but at the same time, it woke him up.

“There's a demonstration for you,” Bill said, incinerating the body. “Get it?”

“Um... maybe?”

“Are you more awake now, at least?”

“Yes.”

“Then we can try again. I have confidence that you'll get it before lunchtime.” Bill summoned another small animal; a rabbit this time. Dipper nervously stood up. This was not going to be pleasant.


	9. Will You Survive This Class?

Dipper had the concept behind soul absorbing figured out by lunchtime, but he hadn't managed to actually pull one free of its body. Bill decided that he just needed time to think on it, and suggested he watch others do it. After checking on the rest of his troops, he dismissed everyone for lunch.

Some beings were like him and didn't need to eat physical food, and instead left to gather energy from other sources. But the ones who could or needed to eat went to the chow hall. Bill didn't eat, but he went with Dipper into the building. When eyes turned onto them, Dipper felt nervous, but then Bill's hand squeezed his shoulder, and he straightened his back, walking with more confidence.

Bill leaned in close. “It'll make you seem like you're dependent on me if I go through the line with you, so join me at the head table once you've got your food.” He let go and floated over to his table at the front of the room, sinking into the middle chair and daintily crossing a leg over the other as he picked up a strange sphere that Dipper had come to realize was a scrying orb that Bill used to speak to his commanders in other locations.

Dipper went through the line, grabbing some slices of what he hoped was turkey, a scoop of lumpy mashed potatoes, and mixed beans. There were less pleasant options, including something that looked like curdled blood. He decided to ignore that one.

After picking out an apple that didn't look too rotten, he got two glasses of water and went to join Bill, sitting on his right.

“I have a detachment in southern California right now,” Bill told him. “They've gathered a lot of supplies and some humans have already made the decision to join us. Here's a live feed of Los Angeles burning to the ground! How fitting for 'The Angels' haha!” Bill laughed, and the other demons joined in.

Dipper swallowed, heart aching. He visited Los Angeles once on a vacation with his family. It had been crowded with tourists and the weather was hot and everything fun was expensive, but he had liked it. And now the city was falling apart, never to be the same again.

“That's nice,” he said quietly, before stuffing mashed potatoes in his mouth. Bland. But acceptable. He changed the subject. “Where are we at, anyway?”

“Southeast California, not too far from the Laguna Mountains,” Bill answered. “Demons prefer the heat. We can fight in these conditions easier than humans. If this base gets attacked, we'll be ready. And with these hills leading up into the mountains, well... attack from that side will be easy to detect, huh? My fliers constantly scout up there. Ya know, I thought about setting up in the Mojave Desert but... you probably wouldn't do so well.”

Bill took his feelings into account before choosing this location? Dipper smiled as he sampled the turkey. This... wasn't turkey. ...Oh well.

“I don't want you dying of heatstroke,” Bill said defensively. “Look, get trained up well, I want you to come with me when we march on San Diego.”

“So what am I doing after lunch? More magic?”

“Haha, nope! Resk!”

The fitness trainer abruptly stood, jostling his table. “Sir!”

“Think you could fit Pines into your post-lunch combat training?”

Resk cracked his knuckles. “He'll be able to punch a bull into submission when I'm through with him!”

“That's what I like to hear.” Bill patted Dipper's back. “Twenty minute break after lunch, then you'll report to Resk at 1230. He'll be where you worked out this morning.”

“Great.” Dipper focused on his food, eating quickly. He wanted to relax after earlier. This has been a long, stressful day. And it wasn't even half over. Once done, he said goodbye to Bill and took his tray over to a small window that led into a room for washing dishes. He handed everything over to the worker inside, then walked out.

It was hot. He squinted in the bright sunlight and put his hat on to shade his eyes. He checked his watch as he returned to his tent. Like Bill said, he had about twenty minutes before the class. He went into the slightly cooler tent and tossed his hat onto the footlocker before collapsing onto the cot. He stretched and sighed loudly, before rolling onto his side. He was so tired. And sore. And now that he had time to think, he realized how much he already missed Mabel.

He got up, retrieving his phone and starting to open the address book. Then he paused. Would she even want to talk to him? ...Of course she would. He found her number and called it. The time between each ring seemed to take an eternity. But she answered after only three. “Dipper?”

“H-hey, Mabes.” He laid back down, stretching out. “I figured I should give you a call, let you know I'm okay, and stuff...”

“That's so good to hear! Bill hasn't hurt you?”

“Nah, he's been really supportive, actually.” Dipper shifted his hurt ankle and winced; it was still tender and he would probably leave it bound for a few more days. “It's kinda... nervewracking being the only human around all these demons, but... I'm getting used to it. Pyronica is here, she's an old friend of Bill's, I like her. She's really encouraging.”

“Good. Um, so what are you doing now?”

Dipper checked his watch. “Waiting around until 12:30. I'm doing combat training then.”

“Wow, combat training, that sounds exciting. So uh... are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm all right.”

Dipper heard a quiet rattle. “I mean, you didn't... you didn't pack any of your pills when you left. Are you okay?”

Dipper closed his eyes as he considered it. Was he okay? Though he was stressed, it was for good reason right now. But he wasn't shaking, he didn't feel afraid, it was just a healthy level of anxiety. So he replied, “Yeah, I'm fine. I got really nervous earlier but Bill helped me through it. He just kinda... healed me, I guess? He did something in my mind, and now I feel better.”

“He what? Are you saying he brainwashed you?”

“No, it wasn't brainwashing, just... I can't explain exactly what he did. I just feel better. Like all those negative thoughts just kinda... went away. I'm still myself.”

“If you say so. So... you don't need your medication anymore?”

“I don't think so.”

“All right, I'll put it away then. You know, Stan is really worried about you. He may have been rude yesterday, but all today he's been wondering about how you are. I could get him on the phone if you want, I'm sure he wants to hear from you.”

Dipper hesitated. “I don't know... he didn't seem like he ever wanted to talk to me again after yesterday. But I'll talk if he wants to.”

“Okay. Grunkle Stan!”

Dipper heard the sound of pounding feet; she must be running through the house. A few moments passed, and he heard Stan's gruff voice respond to her.

“Dipper's on the phone, wanna talk to him?”

A tense few seconds, and then Stan took the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper said, brushing a hand through his hair. “What's up?”

“Not much. Watching TV.”

“Cool, uh... anything good?”

“Not really.”

Dipper coughed and cast around for a topic. “Um, well I was just telling Mabel about how things have been for me since leaving. Everything is going good, Bill is surprisingly friendly when you're on his side, and um... I kinda hurt my ankle at training this morning but otherwise I'm okay. I don't think it'll be so bad here.”

“Really? Well I'm glad to hear that you're having fun being a traitor to your species.”

The sound of a slap came through the phone, and Mabel harshly hissing, “Stan!”

“I'm sorry, I just- kid, _why_ did you have to go with him?!”

“I didn't have a choice!” Dipper yelled back. “It was him or you! I wasn't going to just let him kill us when he gave us an alternative! I work for him, you guys stay safe! I'm doing this for you!”

Stan was quiet for a moment, then muttered, “I would rather have stood up against him and died fighting than let him take you prisoner.”

“Well, I'm not you.” Dipper rubbed his face, taking deep breaths as he tried to calm down. He checked his watch. Ten more minutes until training. “I don't want any of you to die. This wasn't easy for me, you know. But I think it's worth it.”

“I guess time will tell, won't it? I should go. Bye, Dipper. Don't die.” Stan returned the phone to Mabel.

“I'm sorry,” she apologized. “He's still hurt over what you did... He'll get over it eventually. I think what you're doing is very brave. You're keeping us safe by putting yourself in danger. But I'm sure Bill will train you up well, you won't get hurt. At least... not too badly. I... I miss you. Please be careful.”

“I will. Bill's having me do all kinds of training, I'll be okay out there. I don't know when he'll have me fighting, but... I doubt he'll just throw me into the middle of a battle without experience.”

“This is Bill we're talking about,” Mabel replied. “He's not exactly... understanding.”

“He is toward me. So far he's taken my feelings about things very seriously. He wants to do what's best for me. So I think I'll be all right.”

“If you say so. Hey, you seem busy, so I'm gonna go ahead and go. Take care of yourself, all right?”

“Absolutely. Talk to you later, Lady Mabelton.”

“Heh. Goodbye, Sir Dippingsauce.”

Dipper hung up the phone and got up, returning it to the table. He paused, looking at the wall of the tent for a few moments. No outlets. How was he going to charge this thing? He decided to ask Bill about that later and leaned down to his backpack, taking some things out and organizing them. He wasted time like this until it came time to meet with Resk. Steeling himself, he pulled his hat on and walked outside.

It didn't take long to get to the training pad. He joined a group of demons, most of which he recognized from the morning's exercise. They cast him annoyed looks but didn't touch him. Luckily, there weren't near as many here. Probably about twenty.

“New blood, you can take off your hat and top, they'll only get in the way of this,” Resk said.

Dipper tugged off his coat, folding it and setting it down, the hat being placed on top of it. He rotated his arms a few times and stood up straight.

“All right, this looks like everyone. Okay, combat training! Of course we will have long range weapons! Our brothers that are already fighting the human scourge have obtained guns! And grenades! Lots of destructive devices! And no doubt you all have your own unique talents with weapons, but what happens when you are disarmed? And yes, a human could possibly disarm you! You never know! So when that happens, you know what you gotta do? You gotta punch them so hard they never get up again! So we are here to learn how to fight with our own devil-given arms and legs!”

“He gives this speech before every class,” someone muttered to Dipper.

“Most of you already have some experience, but we have a newcomer today. Pines, how do you feel?”

Dipper wasn't expecting to have a question so aggressively directed to him. He glanced around, and then said, “Uh, okay?”

“You looked pretty fucked up after earlier's exercise, trainee! Will you survive this class?”

“I...” Dipper didn't like how everyone was watching him. Silently judging him. He glared back at Resk. “I'll do my goddamn best, and if I do die, then I died proudly.”

“That's what I like to hear! Good man! Let's learn about hand to hand combat!”

Resk had another instructor stand in front of him, and proceeded to demonstrate how to knock someone off balance and then throw them to the ground. Where he then demonstrated the best way to pin them so that they couldn't escape before sinking a knife into their throat.

“Of course, we'll be simulating the throat stabbing today,” Resk said, pulling his clenched fist away from his partner's neck. “Do not actually stab your partner, there's always one who does and that does _not_ end well, don't fucking try it.”

Dipper was paired with a demon who was about his height but built like a boulder, with thick muscle and rough, pebbly gray skin, who introduced himself as Grock and apologized in advance, saying he would probably break at least one of Dipper's bones during this.

That didn't make the human feel better.

It was only a few minutes later when Dipper's arm was seized and he was thrown all the way over Grock's head, being slammed down onto his back. He gasped out with pain as his head hit the ground, but he drew his knees up and slammed his feet into the other's stomach. If this had been a normal organic creature, it probably would have gotten him results. Instead, the impact only made Grock stumble, and pain flared in his ankles and knees.

“Fuck!” He rolled and scrambled away, adrenaline pumping through his body. He struggled to his feet, glaring at the demon, who seemed sheepish. “Why did you pair up with me and not someone your own size?!”

“No one else wanted to be with me,” the other said. “I don't really know why.”

Dipper cursed and glanced around, at the other pairs who were tossing each other back and forth, trading blows and trying to do the moves Resk had showed them. Then he went back at the rock demon, intending to strike him. It wasn't like it would hurt him, and it would be satisfying. Grock wasn't actually as hard as a stone, but he was pretty close. Like hitting a punching bag.

Recognizing the move, Grock moved to block. He was too slow, and Dipper managed to punch him in the chest. The retaliation came surprisingly fast, and the human jerked back, arm coming up to catch Grock's and push it aside, narrowly avoiding his fist.

Luckily, Dipper had experience with fighting. He's fought a lot of people and monsters throughout his years, both in Gravity Falls and in his own town. Several students in high school had tried to bully him when he started his freshman year, but after everything he had gone through over the summer, he was in no way intimidated by any of them, and had fought anyone who tried to start something. He and Mabel both had to sit through several uncomfortable talks with the principal. They were threatened with expulsion several times, though luckily, it never came to that. Still, Dipper had learned to fight, and it was serving him well now.

But Grock's brute strength won out in the end, and he soon found himself on the ground once more, this time on his stomach, arm being twisted behind his back. He complained and slapped the ground with his hand, saying, “Okay, you win, you win!”

“You stay down until Resk approves,” Grock said.

Dipper sighed and looked over at the trainer, who was examining all the pairs where one had managed to 'defeat' the other, offering criticism. When Resk reached them, he shook his head, and said, “I didn't expect much better, Pines. But at least you're alive. And conscious too. Get up, we're switching partners for the next moves. I hope you keep learning as fast as you have been.”

Dipper was released, and he pushed himself up. He grimaced at the pain in his joints, wiping dirt off himself as he and the others watched more of Resk's demonstrations, the trainer talking animatedly about the best way to perform them. Was he ever going to get a chance to recover?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My basic training flight did not start participating in physical training (or PT as we call it) until a few days in, but once we did, it was painful. I had prepared a bit, but not as much as I should have. And it was every morning except for Sundays. So each day I'd have to suffer through pain, only to wake up sore the next morning, and have to continue to work out regardless, which affected my performance. And we had no access to IcyHot or anything. I mean, technically that stuff was for sale in the store we occasionally went to, but we certainly weren't allowed to buy it.  
> Eventually, my body just got over it and stopped feeling so sore all the time. But it takes a couple weeks. RIP Dipper.


	10. I Expect You To Respect Me

By the end of the combat training class, Dipper had learned that he wasn't as good at fighting as he thought he was. Turns out Resk had started easy. Things had quickly gotten more complicated and Dipper was soon losing against every partner he was paired with. He had several bruised ribs, his arms were covered in bruises and lacerations, and his nose was bleeding when Resk called an end to the class. He had some closing statements on areas of improvement, and gave an outline of what they would be doing tomorrow. He dismissed everyone, and then approached Dipper, advising him to go clean up and see a healer. Again.

As Dipper limped away with his coat and hat in his arms, he heard the demon mutter, “I hope that tiny human survives... he's got promise.”

It occurred to Dipper that he didn't know what Bill wanted him to do next. Right now it was probably around the same time that he had arrived yesterday. He could go work out, maybe, but... the thought of that filled him with dread. His body hurt too much for him to subject himself to more physical activity.

He went into the latrine and found a sink, rinsing blood and dust off his face. It took a lot of scrubbing, but he finally got clean (enough) and pulled his coat on. Then he went out in search of Bill.

Luckily, the demon was looking for him too. Bill seemed to perk at the sight of him, and flew forward. “Kid, there you are! How was it?”

“They nearly broke me in half, I need to go see that healer again.”

“Oh boy. All right, let's go.” As Bill led him, he started telling him about what he had spent the last hour doing, pulling together information about how Earth governments run their armies, and deciding what he wanted to incorporate in his own and what was unnecessary garbage. He explained to Dipper what he already wanted the human's ranks to look like, though he had a while before he had to do anything with those. Mostly, he told Dipper that he had come up with a good set of rules, though admitted that he couldn't be near as restricting; demons were extremely defiant. But there were some customs he wanted to get started, and would incorporate those into training and disseminate them to his other detachments as soon as possible.

“Fascinating.” Dipper was being tended to by the time Bill was done talking. Kass was humming as she healed his injuries.

“You definitely need some time to relax, so after this, wanna learn about guns?”

Dipper considered it. “I don't know, I guess.”

“Good, because you're going to. Guns are a wonderful invention. Humans may be pathetic but they're very good at coming up with ways to kill each other. So yes, my people will have guns with them when they go into battle if they are unable to use ranged magic attacks. You cannot do that either. Yet. So you'll need a gun. Maybe some grenades, and I'll definitely make sure you have a knife.”

“So I'll be shooting people. Like... actually shooting other humans.”

“Yep!”

“Man...” Dipper wasn't looking forward to that.

“Trust me, when they're running at you with the intent to kill you, you'll pull the trigger. And you'll only be out there on the battlefield for a little while, enough time to get that experience you were going on about, and then I'll have you hanging back and commanding from a distance. You'll be okay.”

“But let's say, theoretically, I go out there and immediately die in an explosion. What then?”

Bill blinked, and rubbed at a spot under his eye thoughtfully. “Well that would be tragic. I'd have to replace you.”

“Would you miss me?” Dipper teased.

“Of course, but you aren't going to die, because I'm going to train you to pay attention to your surroundings, and gift you with some enhanced senses so you'll know if you're in danger. You didn't think I would just send you out there as a mere human, did you? No, me enhancing your vision was just the beginning. By the time I'm done with you, you'll have sharper hearing and you will literally be able to feel if someone is close to you.”

“You're gonna mess with the rest of my senses too? Ugh, Bill...”

“You'll appreciate it in time. For now, you're gonna focus on training. The gift can come later. But don't you worry, I'm not going to let any serious harm come to you. You'll get hurt, that's inevitable. But you won't die. I promise.”

“If you say so. So, guns?”

Bill seemed glad to change the subject. “Yes, guns! You're going to learn to shoot an M16! And not only that, you have to know that gun inside and out, because if it jams, you're gonna have to know how to fix it. And of course you'll need to keep it clean, a dirty gun hardly shoots well, does it? You should be good at that, you tinker with everything.”

“Yeah, but I've never taken a gun apart.”

“Well there's a first time for everything. Kass, is he gonna live?”

“He'll heal up in no time.” She finished healing all the visible damage, though there wasn't much she could do for the muscle soreness without using a huge amount of energy. She assured Dipper that it was just normal muscle fatigue and he would recover naturally. His body was probably in shock but it would get used to things, granted that he stay on a relatively steady schedule.

He thanked her for her help and fixed his clothes before heading back out. Time to try his hand at shooting.

 

Dipper may have been helpless when it came to physical training, and his magical ability left much to be desired, but he found that he was good at one thing. He could disassemble and reassemble a rifle like no one's business.

It took some practice of course, but he soon had it figured out. He could easily pull out the two pins that held the upper and lower receivers together, thus separating the gun into two halves. The lower receiver was set aside once the spring and buffer were removed. A process that usually nearly crushed his thumb, but at least he didn't just let the pieces go flying across the room like some of the others were. Then he would pull the parts out of the upper receiver. Charging handle (which had to be pulled before firing the weapon) was removed easily enough, though putting it back in was sometimes a pain. Then he would tug out the bolt carrier, which contained parts necessary for propelling the bullet. The cam pin was twisted and removed, freeing the bolt, and then came the most difficult part; removing the incredibly tiny firing pin retaining pin. It was the smallest piece in the weapon (that they would be removing anyway) and had to be pushed out with a pen or other thin object. Once it slipped out, the firing pin itself practically fell out onto the table.

Dipper was able to get all these pieces out and set down within thirty seconds once he got the hang of it. Putting it back together took slightly longer. The cam pin had to be placed into its hole just right before it could be twisted, and the charging handle got lodged sometimes if he didn't slide it back into the weapon just right, but as long as he didn't get frustrated, he was able to do it. While annoying to remove, the spring and buffer could usually be pushed right back in with little difficulty.

There would be races against the other trainees to see who could do it the fastest. Dipper was soon one of the best. He was pleased with himself for catching on so quickly. Though it was unlikely he would ever have to completely dismantle his weapon like this, it was cool that he could do it. Though he would probably lose that damn retaining pin if he tried to do this on the ground.

After that, they practiced cleaning the guns inside and out, removing dirt and the residue of old grease. And finally, they were allowed to take them out to a firing range to shoot them. The 'firing range' was just a bunch of paper targets on various stands, some relatively close and others further away, with a tall concrete wall forming a semicircle behind and around them to catch stray bullets. Dipper couldn't help but wonder when exactly Bill had set all this up. The way he was talking yesterday, he had only arrived back into this reality very recently. As in, the night before last. Perhaps he had his army working well before that to get everything ready.

The trainees were instructed on how to properly load bullets into a magazine and then put the magazine into the clip. They were showed how to aim, and then told to get to it.

Dipper winced as soon as the shots started around him. These guns were loud- incredibly loud. He stood like he had been told, bracing his feet, and took aim. When he fired, the noise made him jump. It hurt his ears so bad that he nearly dropped the gun.

“Excuse me,” he called to their instructor, a winged demon with long arms and blue skin. “This is really loud, do you have any earplugs?”

The demon, whose name was Lulu, rolled their four eyes and said, “You humans have such fragile hearing. I will see what I can do.” They flapped away, and Dipper let his gun hang from his back by the strap, covering his ears.

After a few minutes, Lulu came back over, tossing a pair of earmuffs at Dipper. “Is this adequate?”

Dipper slipped them on and was relieved to find that it muffled the surrounding noise. “Yes, much better, thank you.”

Lulu scoffed and fluttered away to check on the other trainees. More comfortable now, Dipper was able to take time with aiming, before pulling the trigger. Luckily the recoil wasn't so bad. He held the butt of the gun tight against his shoulder, and it only jumped slightly when he fired. However, the bullet didn't even seem to hit the target he was aiming at. He squinted at the target, tugged the charging handle to load another bullet, and took aim again.

It took several tries before he figured out exactly how to look down the sight, but he finally hit the edge of the target. From that point on, it was just trial and error. And then he ran out of bullets.

He got down on a knee and replaced the magazine with a full one. Lulu soon had them switch positions though, having them go from firing while standing, to firing while on one knee. And once everyone had the hang of that, they practiced shooting while lying prone on the ground, presenting as small of a target as possible. For some of the bulkier or more oddly shaped demons, this probably didn't make much of a difference. But it felt safer to Dipper.

Despite it being a relatively long class, he enjoyed it. He wasn't very accurate, but that was okay. He would have more practice tomorrow. They cleaned their weapons, returned them to a storage room, and were sent off to their next class. Dipper started to give his earmuffs back to Lulu, but was promptly told to just keep them, no one else would be needing them. He returned them to his tent.

In another three hours, it would be dinner time. Dipper realized that Bill hadn't told him what to do next. They really needed to communicate better. He started to walk around in an attempt to find him, then realized that they didn't need to speak face to face.

_Hey, Bill?_ he thought tentatively.

_About time you figured out you could do this!_ Bill's voice echoed in his head.  _What's up, kid?_

_You never gave me a schedule. What am I supposed to be doing now?_

_Done shooting, huh?_

_Yeah, it was all right, but I need to wear earmuffs because the gunshots are really loud._

_...Oh right, you humans have that whole eardrum thing going on... Well as long as you haven't gone deaf. I want you to report over to tent 3A for the self aid and buddy care lesson! You're going to learn you some medical treatments. I think they'll be talking about cold-related injuries and illnesses today. Should be fun, huh? Get to it._

_Okay._ Dipper really wanted to sleep, but he knew that wouldn't be allowed. He went to the designated tent.

It was a relatively easy lesson to follow, luckily. It mostly consisted of just listening to an instructor talk about cold temperatures and the effect it has on the body. Most of the discussion was centered around how it affected humans, and how the demons could use that to their advantage. But there was some talk of how it can hurt demons as well. After the technical explanations, there was a demonstration of various ways to treat someone suffering from hypothermia or a similar injury. It didn't take much concentration and Dipper found it to be common sense information anyway.

He was beyond glad when afterward, Bill contacted him in his mind to tell him that he could go ahead and go to dinner, and the rest of the day, he could do whatever he wanted until bed.

Dipper nearly sprinted into the chow hall. He grabbed the first edible-looking food he could find, scooping up glasses of water and going to sit down, at the same table he sat at last time. Bill greeted him, and raised his eyebrow at how the human barely responded before eating quickly.

“You seem to be in a hurry,” he commented.

“I'm exhausted,” Dipper groaned. “I'm gonna finish eating, take a shower, and go the fuck to bed.”

“You definitely do look tired, your eyes are packing some serious baggage right now.” Bill laughed and nudged him, but Dipper wasn't in the mood for jokes. Especially not about him.

He grunted and kept eating. It was sad, but he was already getting used to this barely adequate food. He wouldn't mind having a steak, though.

“Yeesh, fine kid, I can tell you're not happy.” Bill rolled his scrying orb around in his palms. “Reveille is gonna go off again at the same time tomorrow. So plan your sleep schedule accordingly. As for your training schedule, it'll be the same as it was today. The only day that's different is Saturday... which just doesn't have physical training. There will still be other lessons for you to attend.”

“Fun.” Dipper downed an entire glass of water in several gulps; the heat was well on its way to dehydrating him.

“You need to get yourself a belt and carry a canteen at all times,” Bill commented. “I'm not going to have you passing out from lack of fluid.”

“Yeah, maybe I should.”

“Araneus should have those supplies at her tent. Stop by later, or tomorrow morning, and get them. In fact, you should do it tonight.”

“We'll see.” Dipper reached for his fork, but Bill's hand coming down on his wrist stopped him. He looked up at the other's eye.

“Listen, Pines. I like you, but remember your place. You're my soldier. You are subservient to me. I expect you to respect me.”

Dipper opened his mouth, wanting to snark back at him, but there was a dangerous look to Bill's expression. He rethought his approach, and instead said, “Okay.”

“Okay, what?”

Dipper swallowed. “I'll respect you.” Bill let go of his wrist, and he immediately stood, no longer having an appetite. “I'm done eating, I'm just gonna... go take that shower now.”

“Go on, then. I'll see you tomorrow. Or not. I have a lot of work to do.”

“Okay.” Dipper lifted his tray and began carrying it away.

“And Pines?”

Dipper glanced back at him. “What?”

“I want to like you. Don't make me change my mind.”

With a snort, Dipper looked forward and kept walking. As much as he wanted to be Bill's friend... the demon was an asshole. Dipper wasn't sure he would ever get used to his abrasiveness. But he was kind of enslaved to him for the rest of his life... it would be better in the long run if he got used to his negative traits early on. Bill may be annoying and chaotic, but one could work with him, if patient. And if there was one thing Dipper was good at that Bill wasn't, it was patience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was only really good at two things in basic training. Cleaning the chrome handles and shelves in the shower room, and rifle disassembly/reassembly. Oh my gosh. I actually ENJOYED taking apart my weapon. It was so much fun to just dismantle it into a bunch of little pieces, faster than most of the other people in my flight, and then put it back together, against faster than them. I wasn't THE fastest, but I was pretty darn close. However it has been more than a year since I've done this so I had to look up pictures online and HOPEFULLY I described it accurately. Regardless, it's mostly muscle memory. Nothing is really that hard to take apart, you just have to be patient.


	11. I Want To Talk To You

Dipper soon got into the schedule. A typical day (other than Saturday) began with him being woken up at 6 AM sharp by the loud bugle of Reveille, and then he would quickly get dressed in workout clothes, gulp down some water, and clip on a belt that held his canteen and a separate pouch for whatever other items he felt he needed; usually a notebook and extra pens. And plenty of band-aids. He got hurt a lot. Then he would go to the training area to be beaten down by Resk's hardcore exercise. It usually alternated between the entire time spent on abdomen and leg workouts, or they would do some simple warm-ups and then go for a long run off base.

Once that was over with, there would be a quick shower (Dipper was getting used to having to do most things quickly now), he would put on his uniform, and then go to breakfast. He soon figured out which food would be the most beneficial for him to eat. He avoided anything oily and focused on eating carbs for long term energy, had a banana at least once a day to help with muscle soreness, and downed at least two glasses of juice, among whatever else he decided on.

After breakfast, he was allowed time to just relax and do whatever he wanted... he usually elected to go back into his tent and pick up his phone, texting Mabel or just browsing the Internet. While there wasn't an outlet to charge it with, Bill had simply taught him an electricity spell that could be used for charging devices if he used it while holding the plug in his hand.

Then there would be magic practice, which Dipper found most enjoyable. This was where he spent most of his time with Bill, but even then, usually he was being tutored by Luthgore in the ways of dark magic, with Pyronica occasionally cheering him on when she wasn't busy refining her own abilities. Unsurprisingly, she was highly skilled in fire magic, and so was able to teach Dipper techniques for his own bright yellow flames. On his third day, Dipper successfully ripped the soul out of a mouse and absorbed it, and while the sensation had been surprisingly intense, he felt his energy flare up and finally understood how beneficial this was.

He would practice magic well until lunch time, after which he would have another break, before joining Resk for combat training. This, he also slowly improved in, but he still took quite a beating from the larger and more powerful demons. But Resk assured him that once he fights an actual human, he would stand a chance.

After combatives was weapons training. Which covered not only guns, but close range combat weapons such as knives, and handheld projectiles like grenades and fire bombs. On top of that, the class taught them about stealth, and various techniques for sneaking up on an enemy. It was very educational.

The last scheduled class was the first aid one, which got very repetitive very quickly, but Dipper didn't really mind. It was good information, and they did a lot of hands on training, learning how to properly carry someone who was wounded, how to dress all manner of injuries, and how to avoid getting sick or injured yourself. After this class was dinner, and then Dipper could do whatever he wanted until bed. And the cycle would repeat the next day.

Saturday had much more free time, but classes still went on for anyone who wanted to attend them. Dipper chose to attend some, particularly the course about what they could expect from the human armies. He would listen and take notes for hours as a very educated demon lectured about the technology possessed by the United States Armed Forces, which at the moment were their biggest concerns, as they were in America. The guns they had, the bombs, the tanks and trucks and planes. The different classes of soldiers that could be expected, and differences between the branches.

Dipper even educated himself on chemical, biological, radiological, and nuclear warfare. While the United States swore not to use such weapons in war, that didn't mean other countries wouldn't. And eventually, he would run into people who had no qualms about using canisters of nerve agent or exposing their enemies to high doses of dangerous radiation. Dipper wanted to be prepared, no matter the situation.

The routine soon became natural. He found that despite how sore he was when he first started exercising, eventually his body toughened up, and the pain would be gone by lunch time. The only time there was lingering pain was when he did something new or didn't properly stretch. He got stronger, able to run longer, do more push-ups and sit-ups and whatever else was requested of him. In combatives, he left bruises. When he learned how to strike at enemies with his gun in weapons training, he completely knocked the dummy down on more than one occasion.

And his magic improved so rapidly that even Bill was impressed. Though the demon usually spent his days off at other bases directing his forces in their battles against humanity, he did keep up with Dipper's progress and he watched him practice magic. The pride was clear in his eye every time Dipper picked up a new spell. After the human learned how to take and manipulate souls for additional magic, he was taught how to store the energy for later, or bind it to weapons. He learned this easily. Next he was shown how to do the same with merely blood. It took a while, but he figured that out too. And he moved on to other types of magic; healing, teleporting, telekinesis. He had a talent for nearly everything he tried; except for green magic, but no one really seemed to mind.

On top of that, Bill has begun introducing a few military concepts to his people. Nothing big, but things like using 'sir' or 'ma'am' (if applicable) when speaking politely, and standing at attention when being chewed out, saluting instructors if they happened to pass outside of class, things of that nature. It was catching on slowly but Bill was certain everyone would be used to it in a few months.

It was nearing the end of Dipper's second week at the training camp when Bill addressed him in a quiet voice at the end of dinner. “Hey, I want to talk to you in private. Do you mind?”

“Not at all.” It's been a while since they've had a long, private discussion. Dipper stood, taking his tray to the washroom and then following Bill outside. They went to the large command tent, to the very back of it, where Bill invited Dipper to sit down at a table. The human did so.

Bill sat in his own chair with an elegance that still somewhat surprised Dipper. He waved his hand and a teapot lifted up, pouring cups of tea. “Want some tea?”

“Sure, I guess.” Dipper accepted one of the cups when it floated over to him.

“You're probably wondering what this is about,” Bill said, taking one of the cups for himself. Dipper idly wondered how he planned on drinking that.

“Yeah, kinda.” Dipper took a sip. Good, but it needed sugar. Conveniently, there was a bowl of sugar cubes. He picked up two and dropped them in.

“We haven't had a nice heart to heart chat in a while, I figured I should rectify that. I mean, I don't have a heart, but you get the gist.” Bill tipped his cup and poured some tea out- right into his pupil. Oh. So _that_ was how he planned on drinking that.

“Oh, yeah, we haven't talked in a while. I mean, we've mostly been around the others every time we've talked... How are you?”

“I'm doing great! My army has only gotten bigger, and we've done so much damage already. I'm sure you've seen the news on your phone, right? We're causing chaos across the country and have already hopped into others. My cause has gotten the attention of more of my people, and my numbers are growing. There are powerful demons out there, ones who didn't want to concern themselves with this, but now they want to get in on the destruction. There's so many delicious pickings out there, of money and flesh and whatever else their dark souls desire. So they're joining me. You'll probably be meeting them soon enough, once I feel that you've been properly trained.”

Dipper nodded, stirring his tea with a finger. “And when will that be?”

“I don't know, you're making great progress already, but I'm gonna give it a few more weeks. Just to make sure. No matter how hard it's pushed, the human body does have limits. I have to give you the appropriate amount of time to get stronger. Those human soldiers? They go through training for months. Basic training alone is usually at least eight weeks... and then they endure even more if they have combat jobs. You need to be better than them. So I'm keeping you here until you are.”

“Understood.”

“But enough about the military stuff... how are you doing? Like, emotionally and everything?”

Dipper shrugged. “I miss my family, I want to see everyone again, and I'm more tired than usual, but... besides that I guess I'm okay. All this physical activity is good for me. I feel healthy, and when I do get sleep, I fall asleep very quickly instead of just laying awake for hours. I don't get nightmares anymore. Your doing, I bet.”

Bill seemed to smile with his eye. “I will neither confirm nor deny.”

“And I haven't had a panic attack either. I feel better than I have in years. So... thank you, for whatever you did to my mind. Even if it was some kind of brainwashing... it helped.”

“No problem. I'm glad you're doing well. How's your vision? Is that still working fine?”

“Yep.” Dipper blinked, thoughtlessly rubbing at his eyes. “It's still as strong as it was when you first did it. It's weird not wearing glasses anymore, but it's convenient. One less thing to worry about when I'm actually out there fighting.”

“Exactly. I still say you should let me turn your eyes completely blue... but they look good like this.” Bill looked at him curiously. “You look quite a bit different already, actually. You've lost some weight. Your cheekbones seem to stand out more... but I hardly ever see bags under your eyes these days. Sure, there are stress lines, but no bags. You look a lot more mature.”

“Really?” Dipper has noticed the gradual change himself, but he hasn't really thought about it much.

“Yeah. Your skin has gotten tan too. Must be from when you work out after dinner sometimes. But it's a good look for you.” Bill leaned closer. “You show a lot of talent at most of your classes. You still struggle with the hand to hand combat but I think against a human you'll do just fine... nonetheless, you've proven yourself. Want me to gift you with those enhanced senses I mentioned before?”

Dipper had nearly forgotten that conversation. He sat forward, nodding eagerly. “Sure.”

“All right! Let's see, you have the keen vision, so... ah, let me just make a quick adjustment to that for you...” Bill stepped up on the table and took Dipper's face in his hands, staring into his eyes. Unlike last time, Dipper was completely okay with this now. He's gotten used to Bill's presence over the last couple weeks, and while they still bickered, they got along fairly well now. “Don't blink.”

Dipper stared straight ahead, feeling the warmth of magic on his eyes, as his vision was taken over by blue. This didn't last near as long as last time. It soon faded, and a strange current of electricity ran down the length of Dipper's spine, curling out into every limb before disappearing. Bill nodded and moved around to one of Dipper's ears.

“I enhanced your reflexes. Should help with the fighting, hmm? Now, for the hearing... I'm gonna make it so you'd hear a mouse fart from a hundred feet away.”

“Is that really necessary?”

“I think you'll appreciate it when you hear the crunch of an enemy's boots as they sneak up behind you, and you're able to turn around and shoot them before they sink a knife into your throat.” Bill hummed as he examined Dipper's ear.

Dipper kept his head still, watching a fly buzz around near the roof of the tent. Following its movements with his eyes was perfectly easy. He resisted the urge to wince at what felt like sharp pokes to his inner ear.

“I gave your nerve endings a nice boost in general,” Bill continued. “Not in the pain department, can't have you collapsing in agony at a mere cut, but I made it so that you'll be more aware of what's in your immediate vicinity. Someone could silently walk behind you and you'll feel them back there, even if you can't hear them.”

“Why not just completely turn me into a demon?” Dipper joked.

“Trust me, if there was a surefire way to do it that didn't have a chance of killing you, I'd probably do it. As it is, you're plenty useful as a human. I just think you'll benefit from some modifications.”

There was a twinge inside Dipper's ear that did make him flinch, but it seemed Bill had done what he needed to, because he didn't chastise him. He walked around to the other ear.

“Maybe once you've proven yourself over a lifetime of service, I'll see about getting you ascended to demon status, hmm?” Bill was quicker in “fixing” Dipper's other ear. Once he was done, he floated back over to his chair and clapped his hands together. “What do you think?”

Dipper rubbed at them, glancing around. “I don't hear much of a difference. Maybe the background noise outside is a bit louder...”

“You'll find that you can now pick up a wider range of frequencies, and loud noises won't bother you as much. You should still wear those earmuffs for training, but when you actually get onto the battlefield, you won't need them. You should be able to distinguish between more sounds at once, rather than everything being a confused jumble. You'll see next time you're outside in the middle of the day. For now...” Bill suddenly threw his empty cup at Dipper. The human caught it, hand closing easily around it inches before it hit his face. He stared over it at Bill. The demon laughed. “Your reflexes work! I think this will all work out nicely. Have any other requests of me? Anything else you want me to augment?”

“I think I'm good.” Dipper set the cup down, and finished off his own tea. “I was wondering... where do you think you'll send me first? You know, once you're ready for me to start fighting?”

“I don't know, probably east, I've got a detachment battling their way through the Rocky Mountains right now, it's been pretty exciting. Of course once they get through, guess what there's a lot of out there? Military bases. Especially Air Force. So we have to be vigilant, there's a lot of intelligence coming from that branch, I'm sure they're tracking our movements very closely. We have magical interference for their equipment but I'm sure they'll work around it in no time. So you'll be seeing a lot of planes. Fighters. I hope you've been working on a good shielding spell.”

Dipper fiddled with his cup. “Not really.”

“Think about doing that. Either that, or get a really accurate fire bolt spell or something that you can use to clip their wings off. If you can't protect yourself from their bombs, you'll have to stop them from firing in the first place. Of course I have people on my side that can fly, but in case they can't stop everything... you'll have to keep your eyes on the sky.”

“I understand.”

“Good. But hey, don't worry about that right now. This location is safe and entirely shielded from outside view. We'll know if anyone gets close to it. And I have guys keeping tabs on the military intelligence. If word of our location gets through... it'll be handled. Just focus on your training, for now.”

“Okay.” Dipper checked his watch. “Is that all? I'm kinda tired.”

“I suppose so. But hey, before you go...” Bill reached over to squeeze his shoulder. “I'm proud of you. You've come so far in such a short period of time. Obviously I didn't give you much of a choice in this, but you're taking it well. I'm sure it won't be long before I give you that next rank, and you'll be given the respect you deserve. For now... you're still in training so don't expect any special treatment. On the outside. When we're alone, like this, then we can be more honest with each other.”

“So when are you going to admit that you like me?” Dipper teased.

Bill rolled his eye. “I didn't think I had to admit it, I thought it would just be obvious. You're a talented human. There's a reason I came to you about being one of my leaders. I see greatness in you. You're the type of person I want by my side. Not just as a follower, but... possibly as an equal. I want that for you. Don't you want it?”

“I would love for you to treat me as an equal instead of like I'm inferior. That's why I work so hard, because I want you and everyone else to respect me. Those other demons, they still push me around sometimes, and I'm getting tired of it.”

“Then push back. Don't let them think they own you. The only one that owns you is me. The rest of them? Fuck them, hurt them if you have to, they're not in charge of you. The only ones who have any kind of rank above you are the instructors. But not the other trainees. Fight back against them.”

“None of them have tried anything in a while, but if they do, then I will hurt them. And I'll make sure they know you said I could.”

“Good.” Bill patted his shoulder. “They won't argue with that. No one here will cross me.”

Dipper chuckled. “I guess they aren't as stupid as they look.”

Bill laughed too, and slipped an arm around Dipper's neck, accompanying him to the door. “Heh, we need to talk like this more often. I think we could have some real intellectual discussions with each other. We're stuck together, right? Might as well be friends.”

“Yeah, we should be. Maybe if you were nicer to me, I'd think about it.” Dipper ducked out from under his arm, opening the cloth door.

Bill looked offended. “This is nice! What do you expect, hugs and kisses every time I see you? For me to greet you like, 'Oh hey Dipper, wonderful weather we're having, boy don't you look swell today'? I don't do that human small talk thing, nuh-uh.”

“A simple good morning when I sit next to you at breakfast will suffice.” Dipper stepped out, smiling as he heard Bill scoff.

“Hmph, a good morning, well I suppose... you humans and your weird friendship rituals... would you like to talk during breakfast then? We can't be as personal but we can still chat!” Bill had to yell, as Dipper has been steadily walking away from him.

The human turned, considering the proposal. Then he gave Bill a thumbs-up. “Sure! Talk to you then.”

“All right, it's settled. Now go to sleep, I'm pretty sure Resk is taking you guys out on another one of his famous runs tomorrow.”

Dipper groaned; he still didn't enjoy running. He probably never would. “Thanks for the warning, so I can cry tonight.”

Bill squinted at him. “I can't tell if you're serious or...”

“Nah, of course not. Goodnight, Bill!” Dipper waved as he jogged over to his tent.

Bill waved back. “Goodnight, Dipper!” He watched the human until he was back in his tent, and then slipped back into his own. He really did need to spend more time with his lieutenant.


	12. You've Earned That Rank

Weeks blurred by. Dipper moved into more advanced classes than the ones he took at first, once it became apparent how fast he was learning. Besides, there were still new demons showing up every once in a while who needed training, so they needed to fill the beginner classes. At one point, Dipper asked about the humans who joined their side. Bill told him that he had a separate camp for them, with more tailored lesson plans. And they had even gotten human soldiers to defect to their cause. These more experienced people were immediately evaluated, and then assigned to a unit based on their old job. These defectors were affectionately called 'Changelings' by the demons, and there was already rumor that when there were enough of them, they would probably get their own detachment.

“And you would probably lead them,” Bill said, laughing and ruffling Dipper's hair.

“That would be pretty awesome. I understand humans, at least.”

“Yep. And hey, I was thinking about something, and I want your opinion. Our human soldiers, they're tough, but... I think they need a little extra _umph_ that normal humans don't have. You know what I'm saying?”

“You want to modify them. Like you did to me.”

“Exactly! And hey, it could be a bit of a golden carrot to dangle in front of the loyal soldiers, hmm? Like look at your old brothers and sisters. Stronger, now that they've joined me. Faster, smarter. Able to dodge your attacks with ease. Don't you want to be like that? Don't you want to have power? I can give you power.”

Dipper couldn't lie; that would definitely tempt him. “I like it. Offer them something they can't get in the regular armed forces. So many humans are selfish. They'll jump for it. And I can see them even leaving a branch they've already joined, just to be in your army.”

“Mhm.” Bill seemed thrilled that Dipper agreed. “I can say the word and have my medical mages all across the globe start improving our human soldiers. We can do this. We can win this war, and then we'll be in charge, and have everything we've ever wanted.”

Dipper liked seeing Bill happy. It was much better than seeing him angry. And Bill's emotions were often infectious. Dipper took the demon's small hands, grinning at him. “You know, I really didn't want to do this at first, but you're actually making it seem exciting.”

“It is gonna be exciting! I mean sure, you're gonna have to get used to killing other humans, but I'm sure you will! The key is to just not think about it!”

Dipper's smile faded. “Yeah. I will have to do that... I definitely ain't thinking about it. Because every time I do, I start to have a minor crisis.”

“Oh, that's not good. Want me to help you out? I can shift a few thoughts around, and suddenly you'll believe that all of humanity deserves to be crushed by our power!”

“Um... no thanks. I'd rather not be totally brainwashed.” Dipper let go of Bill, awkwardly turning away. He felt the demon touch his shoulders.

“Okay, fine, but if you change your mind, let me know. Hey, I'm thinking that in a week you'll be ready for promotion to Captain, and I'll send you to a new base! Where you'll get an even better tent, and there will be finer food, better weapons... and humans! Won't it be nice to see your own kind again?”

Dipper perked up at that. “I would like to see other humans. Though I've gotten used to the demons.”

“Haha, you certainly have. You and Pyronica were real besties before she left. But hey, she'll be at the base I'm moving you to later.”

“Oh, cool.”

“Yep! There are lots of interesting people there, I think you'll like it. And I can't wait to see you put all your talent to use.”

Dipper appreciated Bill's attempts to cheer him up. They really have become quite close since they made that deal. He turned around to face the demon, and awkwardly held his arms out.

Bill squinted at him. “What are you doing?”

“I'm asking you for a hug.”

“A hug, why...” Bill's gaze flicked from Dipper's arms to his face, clearly not understanding.

Dipper shrugged. “I don't know, whenever Mabel gives me a pep talk, we usually have an awkward hug, I just thought... well, never mind. You probably don't do hugs.” Dipper put his arms back down, closing his eyes as he sighed, embarrassed. Then he grunted as thin arms wrapped around him and squeezed him tightly. Opening his eyes, he looked up at Bill, awkwardly hugging him. There was really no way for their bodies to comfortably press together, Dipper realized this immediately, but he appreciated that the other was trying. He hugged him back. Bill was so warm. And as a being of pure energy, his magic tingled against Dipper's skin wherever they came into contact.

“We don't speak about this outside this tent, got it?” Bill snapped.

Dipper chuckled. “Got it.”

“How long are you going to hold onto me for?”

“Until you get annoyed.”

Bill pushed on his face with a hand. Dipper laughed and let go of him. The demon huffed and brushed himself off, adjusting his bow tie. Then he said, “Well, I think you're needed at the firing range. Get out of here.”

Dipper grinned and saluted him before hurrying to the door. Thanks to his reflexes, he was able to duck to the side when Bill threw a book at him. “No saluting indoors, numb nuts!”

The human turned and gave him a one-handed salute of a different nature, before disappearing outside. Bill rolled his eye and crossed his arms, but inside he was glowing with pride. He liked when Dipper listened to him, but he had to admit, it was enjoyable seeing the human show such confidence. If Dipper was getting to be so brave against him, then he would definitely do well facing others.

 

As promised, Bill deemed Dipper ready to advance in rank after another week. This marked the end of seven grueling weeks of training, and while the human seemed tired most of the time, there was no denying the pride in his eyes. He stood tall, arms at his sides as Bill unpinned the single gold bars from his lapels. He replaced them with double gold bars, tilted diagonally and pinned perfectly in the center of the fabric.

“Next rank after this is Major... and I think you'll like the design I have planned for that one,” Bill said to him quietly.

Dipper showed a quick smile, but his expression soon returned to a neutral one, and Bill floated back. Dipper saluted him, the motion quick and practiced. Bill returned it, and then dropped his hand. Only then did Dipper drop his. The watching demons cheered and clapped.

_You've earned that rank,_ Bill thought to Dipper.  _But it'll be a while before you get to the next. Prove your strength in combat, and then it'll come._

_I will. I will prove myself._ Dipper may not have wanted this. But this was his life now, and if he had to be a soldier, then he was going to be the best damn soldier he could be. And Bill was encouraging, and he was excellently trained, and he felt he had a fighting chance out there.

After the ceremony, Dipper had a little bit of time to call Mabel as he gathered his belongings. She said she was proud of him, but also worried. She has seen the footage of the ongoing war, and was horrified by the sheer amount of deaths on both sides.

“Please be careful,” she said.

“I will. I'll be safe, I've got magic, and Bill will get me good armor... I'll be fine. Trust me. Are you all still okay? I know Bill's people have moved through Oregon by now...”

“Yeah, I'm okay... Stan told me to go back home, so I'm back in California now. I'm with Mom and Dad, looking out for them. Last I heard, Stan was down in the bunker waiting things out, and... I don't know where Ford is.”

That was concerning. “You don't know where Ford is? When did you last hear from him?” He knew Ford had returned to the Mystery Shack about a week after he left.

“To be honest... weeks ago. One morning we got up and he wasn't home. Several of his weapons were gone from the basement. Along with a bunch of other supplies. He left a note saying he was going to fight back, he wasn't going to just sit idly by while demons destroyed his world. I... I don't know if he's still alive.” Mabel's voice choked up, and Dipper quickly comforted her.

“I'm sure he's fine, Ford is really resourceful, he survived for like thirty years in a dangerous alternate dimension. He can survive this.”

“Yeah, but... what happens if you run into him?”

Dipper stared at the wall for a few moments in thought, then said, “I won't hurt him. Neither will Bill. In fact, Bill promised that none of you would be hurt. Even Ford. If he attacks us, he'll be spared. We'll just teleport him away if we have to. No matter what, we won't hurt him.”

“I hope not... Stan worked so hard to get him back. He wouldn't survive losing him again.”

Any elation Dipper had lingering from the earlier ceremony disappeared. “You're right. I'll... talk to Bill, make sure he remembers all the conditions of our deal. There has to be a way to safely get Ford out of our way.”

“Please. Because he's determined to stop you. You know he'll do anything if he thinks it's for the greater good.”

Dipper didn't have to be reminded of that. “Yeah. I gotta go. Talk to you later, stay safe.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“Love you too.” Dipper hung up, stuffed the phone into his pocket, and swung his duffel bag onto his back. He grabbed the handle of his backpack and picked it up too, and walked outside. Bill was waiting for him.

“Hey Captain, ready to go?”

Dipper smiled a bit at the new rank, but then he said, “Yeah, but can I talk to you about something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“I think Ford is gonna try and fight back. Mabel says she hasn't heard from him in weeks, and he took off with a bunch of weapons. He could be out there somewhere, planning a resistance.”

“And we'll crush it like any other resistance,” Bill said, unconcerned. “And Fordsy will have no choice but to give up and go home.”

“You know as well as I that he won't give up. He's going to try and stop you. And even if you kill everyone around him and take all his weapons, he'll keep fighting.”

“You sure you want to stand by that thing about me not killing any of your family members?”

“Yes,” Dipper said firmly.

“Okay, fine,” Bill groaned. “I'll still spare him if he comes after us, but I won't coddle him either. I'll tell my people to fight back. We beat him down enough, he won't be able to fight us. He'll have no strength left to do so. And then we teleport him back home and let him reflect on his choices. He keeps coming back? We keep throwing him back. I could keep it up as long as I need to.”

“Are you sure? Are you sure you're fine with just... pushing him out of the way? You won't kill him?”

“You have my word, Dipper. I won't kill Stanford.”

Dipper nodded. Bill kept his promises. “Thank you.”

“Don't mention it. Now let's go, you have new friends to make!” Bill took Dipper's hand, and Dipper let himself relax as magic enveloped them. He was used to how teleporting felt now. Still fairly uncomfortable, but it was bearable. He kept his eyes closed until the pressure disappeared, and when he opened them, saw he was in quite a different location. The ground underneath his boots was covered in sparse grass and stamped down, and when he looked across the field of tents he saw there were much more of them, in many different sizes and shapes. He saw a massive chain link fence in the distance, topped with razor wire and glowing with that dangerous red magic. He could smell smoke and iron and sweat, and as he gazed across the flat landscape, realized they were in a plains region. Turning to look the other way, he could see mountains in the distance. They must be east of the Rockies, like Bill had mentioned. Any judging from how demons (and a few humans, he noted) hurried about, no one stopping too long in any one location, they were in a much more hostile environment.

Dipper stood there for about five seconds in stunned silence, until the whistle of a mortar over the camp made him flinch and drop to his knees, covering his ears.

“Better get used to those,” Bill said after it exploded. He saw that Dipper was still kneeling and helped him back up. “It's cool, there's a barrier over the camp, it makes those things explode on impact. They won't touch us.”

“But what about... out there?”

“Out there? You better get damn good at dodging.” Bill tugged him along. “We're only exchanging fire from a distance right now, we won't charge until later, which gives you time to put your stuff down and get ready. You'll need to go to the armory to get a weapon, get grenades or whatever else you want, warm up your magic, and then you'll be heading out there with the rest. My old pal 8 Ball will be leading your group.”

“8 Ball?” Dipper hesitated. “Is that the one that you gave permission to eat me years ago?”

“Ohh yeah... I'm sure they don't remember. Haha, no hard feelings, right?”

“I guess not.”

“Good! Get going, things are going to get intense in about half an hour! I'll brief everyone on the strategy before we go, so you don't have to worry about a thing. You have the easy part. Just follow orders. When you get some experience, you'll be giving the orders, but until then... go out and shoot some people for me.” Bill nudged Dipper along. “Here's your tent, admire it, make it your home. Because it will be for at least a month, unless we wrap up things here early.”

Dipper's optimism was quickly fading, now that he was able to hear the explosions and shouting, there was someone literally being dragged into a tent with blood pouring from a stump where their leg should be at this very moment. He swallowed and stared at Bill, needing reassurance, any reassurance. For the first time in weeks, he felt his chest clenching, breathing growing shallow, as panic threatened to overwhelm him. Bill immediately reached out and grabbed him, pulling him close and floating a little lower as Dipper's knees gave out. The human dropped his bags, clutching Bill tightly with both arms as he sank to the ground.

“Okay, I know it's a lot to take in, but you can't do this right now, the others will tear you apart if they see you collapse like this.” Bill ran a hand through Dipper's hair, the motion gentle, but then set his palm against the man's temple, closing his eye. “You'll get used to this. You'll see.” He directed a wave of energy through Dipper's body, washing away his anxiety and replacing it with calmness. There was still fear, but Bill sent him encouraging thoughts, promising that he would be okay, that he would go out there and fight and come back no worse for wear. His training was excellent. He would be so much harder to kill than the average human. He was strong, and fast, and intelligent. He could use magic. The enemy was pathetic and weak compared to him.

Dipper sniffed and raised his head, his muscles growing still. Bill was right. He went through weeks of preparation. He was ready for this. And if he wasn't, well... he couldn't look weak in front of everyone like this. He had to be strong. He slowly rose, releasing Bill and rubbing his arm, sheepish.

Bill watched him for a few moments to make sure he was okay, and then reached over to wipe the rest of the tears from the other's face. “If it makes you feel any better, the fear lets you know that you're human. Go on and try to relax, I'll go run interference for you. Anyone asks, you had an allergic reaction to the dust.”

Dipper nodded and grabbed his bags, going into the tent. He sighed as he pulled his hat off and rubbed his face, sinking onto the bed. Oh, there was actually a bed in here, and not just a foldable cot. That was nice. He could definitely use the comfort. He unpacked what he could, wondering what had come over him. He supposed it was all the stress hitting him at once, combined with the fear of soon going into a life or death situation... he was lucky to have gone this long without an attack. It was good that Bill was here to ease him through it.

...Bill may be the cause of his distress, but Dipper had to admit, the demon was better than any drug when it came to his mental state. He would have to thank him properly later. If there was a later.


	13. Kill or Be Killed

Dipper wasn't able to settle his nerves at all. He sat in his tent for a grand total of five minutes before getting up and walking back out, putting his hat on to shield his eyes from the Sun. He cringed every time he heard an explosion, but slowly got used to the sound. He looked at the creatures hurrying about, and found his way to the armory.

There, he was mildly surprised to find it being manned by a human. The man wore the same uniform as him, but had the sleeves neatly rolled up to halfway up his biceps, showing muscle and solid black tattoos that Dipper didn't have enough time to examine.

“Human,” the man said around his cigar, eyes flicking over Dipper before turning to grab items off shelves. “You new, runt?”

“Yeah, I was just sent here.” Dipper approached the table as a helmet and some kind of thick vest was thrown onto it. He glanced at the other's name tape. The gold letters spelt out, “Godfrey.” “So uh, Godfrey...”

“That's Sergeant Godfrey to you, private!” Godfrey slammed down an M16, looking like he wanted to say more, but then his eyes focused on Dipper's collar, and he quickly straightened up, arms at his sides. “Oh, sorry Captain, I didn't realize you were an officer.”

“Oh, uh... yes. I am.” Dipper hadn't expected the sudden change in demeanor. “Were you in the army before this?”

“Yes sir, I was. I was a Sergeant First Class about to be forcibly medically separated. I had broken my leg in several places during a deployment. Came back to the states, they filled the bone with metal rods to hold it together, said it would heal but the rods couldn't be removed. Military decided I was a liability, I might break it again and then what? So they were going to discharge me. Oh sure, I would have been set for life with compensation pay, but you know what?” Godfrey slapped a full clip of ammo into the gun and handed it to Dipper. “I wasn't ready to quit. When the demons started raising hell, you know what I did? I marched right out to them, asking them if they needed help. They took me in and I've been working here ever since. They even healed my leg completely.”

“That's great. Do you like it here? Compared to the US Army, anyway?”

“Can't complain, they feed me and give me a place to sleep. I haven't been on the front line since I was a Private First Class, I was an ammunition specialist and I didn't really see much combat myself, though I went through all the same training just in case. But there were a few times, mostly while deployed, that I had to pick up a gun. I gave Cipher a more detailed explanation of my history, he decided I should work in here. So far it's been an experience. If you had told me a few months ago that demons exist I would have sent you to the mental ward. Now I'm adjusting straps to fit multiple arms and wings.” Godfrey shrugged and put down the last item. “What about you, I haven't seen any officers yet, you're the first one with any kind of rank visible. What makes you special?”

“Bill and I have a long history together. When he started this war, he came to me asking me to be one of his leaders. I had no idea how any of this worked, so he agreed to let me start off at a low rank and then work my way up. He said I could get experience like a typical military member. So I started as a lieutenant, and now I'm a captain. Does no one else have ranks like this?” Dipper began pulling on the bulletproof vest.

“Not that I've seen. Pretty much all the humans here are just... I don't know, on equal footing I guess. We kinda have to learn who has the superior position and try to memorize that. All we have on our uniforms are our names.”

“I'll talk to Bill and see about getting some kind of rank structure for the humans, then. I know he planned on implementing the officer ranks among more of his people, but I guess he hasn't done it yet. We're friends, he'll listen to what I have to say.”

Godfrey came over to help Dipper with one of the buckles. “If you say so. Didn't think that insane triangle had any friends.”

“He has quite a few, actually. Demons have a whole different idea of what desirable company is. Bill's aggression and craziness is what makes him popular among his people. He's good at being chaotic. They like that.”

“I believe it. All those demons are so...” Godfrey trailed off, then shook his head and tightened a strap. “I'll stick to hanging out with the humans. You ever been in combat, sir?”

“No sir, this is my first time.”

“Oh boy. Okay, well, you keep your eyes open, got it? Always look around, don't ignore your rear no matter what. Listen for anything suspicious, if you hear a whistle, take cover. Keep moving, don't just stand in one place and shoot, you'll get targeted by about ten people in an instant. You'll want to stay low to the ground, give them a smaller target. Hide behind something if you can, shoot over or around it and then hide again. And make sure you have a knife within reach in case someone decides to just rush at you. And hey, worse comes to worst and you get shot? And you know you won't be able to keep shooting? Just play dead. Seriously, there's so much happening that if you fall, no one will check to see if you're faking. They'll just move past you. And you'll eventually be dragged back to safety.”

“That seems kinda cowardly,” Dipper commented as he put on the helmet.

“It's survival. But hey, you wanna keep fighting until you get shot somewhere more critical? You go right ahead. I'm just telling you how to survive. You're young. It'd be a shame to die at... how old are you?”

“Eighteen. But I'll be nineteen soon.”

“Eighteen. Far too young to die. I mean damn, you ain't even legal to drink yet. So go out there and fight, but be careful. If Cipher hand-picked you, he must really care about you. He won't want to lose you.”

Dipper nodded. He filled his pockets with the items he had been given, all the ammo and medical supplies, and pulled the gun strap around his body so the M16 rested on his back, barrel pointing down. From here, it could easily be pulled up and into a firing position.

Fully outfitted, he really had no more reason to stay here. He thanked the sergeant and walked outside. He took a few deep breaths, keeping the panic at bay. So far, so good. He was definitely afraid, though. He could do nothing about that. Checking his watch, he saw he had about ten minutes until the charge.

He distracted himself by using some magic. He curled his fingers around, watching flames dance along the tips. He lifted some pebbles and dropped them once more. Just little things, but it helped. He was in control, he told himself. He had these abilities, they would keep him safe. He murmured a protection spell, casting it over his body, and pulled on the pair of gloves he had been given at the armory.

“Hey, you must be that human Bill's been talking about,” a curious voice said nearby.

Dipper looked up to see a creature shaped like a five-pointed star floating next to him. They reminded him of Bill in a way: there was a single eye with a round pupil in the center of their body, and they had two arms and two legs. Pure white, the fingers strangely sharp.

The star had an array of different colors to them; middle section was a pale purple, and the top point was white. Going clockwise, the rest were yellow, red, green, and then orange.

Their entire form was surrounded by a soft indigo aura.

“Um, I guess,” Dipper replied. “I'm Dipper Pines. Um... Captain Pines, I guess. What's your name?”

“Ooh, a captain, huh? Fancy. My name is Pavonis.”

“Your name is peacock?”

Pavonis squinted at him. “You speak Latin?”

“Yeah. Not fluently but I know a lot of it. Sorry if this is rude, but um... what uh... pronouns do you use?” It was a question Dipper has had to ask far too often of the demons. He just couldn't make any assumptions with them. Not that they took much offense if he got it wrong; most of them didn't care about gender. But it was still worth asking.

“Not rude at all, pal. I don't exactly have any human features in this form. You can use he and his pronouns, I _was_ a man once so we'll go with that.”

“All right. So, Pavonis... do you know Bill well?”

“Haha, I sure do! We have quite a bit of history, me and that succulent piece of geometry.”

Dipper had no idea how to respond to that. “Okay, wow, um... not gonna ask. You're a demon though, right?”

“Yep. Have been since oh... 1611. Long story, but I made some bad choices as a kid, haha. I was only sixteen years old when I became like this. But shit happens, you know?”

Dipper was starting to hear a bit of an accent in the other's voice now. “Where are you from? Originally?” He was still trying to distract himself, but Pavonis seemed interesting and willing to talk. And he might as well try to make friends, right?

“Originally? Scotland. A small town, not worth mentioning. On the coast. My father worked on the docks helping load and unload ships. My mother knitted. We didn't have much money but we got by. But hey, no point talking about my old human life, that was years ago. I've moved on. Let's talk about the now. Like how we're gonna get out there and fry those bastards on the other side.”

“Y-yeah. I'm... I'm kinda nervous. It's my first time.”

“Haha yeah a first time usually is pretty nervewracking.” Pavonis seemed to grin at him with his eye, and Dipper groaned and pressed his hand to his temple. “Oh, you mean your first time going into combat? Yeah that's pretty nervewracking too. Hey kid, you'll be fine. We all look out for each other out there. You've got a gun so I guess you'll be going with the humans and 8 Ball, they'll take good care of you. Here's how things usually go. We get out there, a bunch of army guys come at us with guns blazing, they throw grenades, we wait until they're feeling cocky, and then we retaliate. The folks with guns start shooting back, and us magic users come in after them and strike with precise attacks. For example, I can control electricity. I can get multiple humans from a distance _and_ take advantage of side flash. Know what that is?”

Dipper knew, but before he could say so, the other continued anyway.

“It has to do with one of the basic properties of electricity. It tries to find the quickest path to the ground, right? Or the path with the least resistance? Well soldiers are just covered in equipment. So I hit one of them, and they're standing close enough together like they're usually prone to do? The lightning will jump between them as it tries to escape. Bunch of them go down, fried. Delicious.”

“So you're like... an electric demon?”

“You could say that... Technically I'm a psychic. Even when I was human, I had all these abilities. I could levitate things, and had premonition of things that were about to happen... Hell, once I started practicing, I could see into the past. I could see to places I've never been. I taught myself how to teleport, and read auras, and all kinds of things. I was just weirdly good with electricity too. Don't know why. But hey, sometimes people are just born with strange gifts. I've learned not to question it.”

Dipper nodded. He was one such person. “Did Bill ask you to join his army, or did you seek him out?”

“He asked me. I had met him back when I had just barely started out as a demon. He gave me some tips, told me that he had been watching me when I was human and that I had a lot of potential. I could call us friends, I suppose. But he's very busy and does a lot of traveling so I didn't see him often. And then he decided to start this little war and he sought me out to ask me to join. An opportunity to slay humans and steal their life force for energy? Well I wasn't going to refuse. Still makes me feel kinda weird, I mean I was human only a few centuries ago, but...” Pavonis shrugged. “I am a demon! I'm immortal now, I can't get hung up on a few irrelevant mortal lives, right?”

“That's one way of looking at things, I guess.” Dipper checked his watch. Bill should be coming out to make his speech any moment now. He looked back at the star. “You know, you're a lot nicer than most of the demons I've met.”

“Aw, thanks. And you're a lot nicer than most of the humans I've talked to. After this, wanna hang out? We can trade magic tips and get to know each other better.”

“Sure. Sounds like fun.”

“Great. I'll look forward to it.” Pavonis casually flicked some of Dipper's hair, then floated away to join the group gathering near a gate.

Dipper blinked, then hurried forward when he realized Bill was up at the front of the crowd. He squeezed his way through so he could hear clearly, though his enhanced hearing was picking up that loud voice just fine.

“The US Army has a regiment of about one thousand soldiers waiting out there,” Bill announced. “Divided into their own battalions, as they're known. A good portion of those are infantry. We charge, they'll come at us with their rifles and grenades and whatever other weapons they have. Behind them will be approximately a dozen soldiers with RPGs and other heavier weapons. They'll be firing over their own forces and hitting ours. Don't let them scatter you out. Some of you will die. The rest of you are expected to fill in the holes and keep moving. Don't go back for the dead or injured. We'll take care of that later. Keep moving forward.” As Bill spoke and gestured, blue images moved above him; his magic showing an approximation of what they were up against. “They'll likely try to drop bombs on us from above... I want the Bats to take care of any aircraft.” He pointed to a group of demons, all of which had wings. “Got it? You are all responsible for airspace. Don't come fight on the ground until you're absolutely sure there are no more planes.”

They called an affirmative back to him.

Bill turned to look off into the distance, then looked back at his troops. “The regiment out there has snipers. There aren't many hills or high points, but there are some. Be wary. One of our squads will be looking for them to pick them off. The rest of you, focus on eliminating their infantry. They will have trucks, maybe even a couple tanks. They'll have support and supplies back there. I will look to the Berserker squad to deal with that. You guys have naturally armored and giant bodies. Ram any large equipment you see, you can do serious damage. I'm expecting you all to ignore gunfire and just run right through to get at the equipment. Make it impossible for the enemy to fall back for more resources.”

The Berserkers hooted and stomped the ground. Dipper noted it was another entirely demonic group.

“My Flash squad? You know the drill, you have some of the most powerful magic of anyone, raise hell.” Bill left it at that. Judging by the cheers that went up, that collection knew their job just fine.

Bill took a couple minutes to address individual groups, then told them to get into their squads and prepare to march.

Dipper swallowed, mouth dry and heart racing. This was really happening. He was really going to go out there, lift this gun, and shoot people... people who had friends and family waiting for them, people who would be dearly missed... He shook as he found 8 Ball and fell in line with the others. Just as Bill said, this squad was nearly entirely human. That was comforting, in a way. He wondered if they all had the same enhancements he had. They seemed alert, and glanced at him as he joined, nodding and exchanging short greetings.

But there was no time for pleasantries. A sound like that of a bugle, except higher-pitched, screeched across the camp. The gates were thrown open, and their immense brigade surged forward. Caught up in the rush, Dipper had no choice but to run forward, pulling his rifle around and holding it in front of him. Despite his nerves, his grip was sure; repetitive training had given him excellent muscle memory. And his physical conditioning had prepared him well; he hardly even felt pain from running like this. He was moving fairly fast, but he was pumped full of adrenaline. This was nothing. He had far more important things to worry about than his legs aching.

Like the artillery raining down around them, some being shot by magic and destroyed while still in the air, the rest hitting the ground. All of Bill's troops seemed to possess the same fast reflexes as Dipper, most managing to guess where the shells would land and leaping away, but others were struck by the blast and thrown back, skin ripped open, some body parts even blown off completely depending on how close they were to the explosion. Dipper didn't let himself stare at such casualties for too long. It would only demoralize him. He looked forward, only glancing around to track incoming shells and avoid them as needed. He felt the heat and shrapnel far too many times, but nothing was close enough to do damage. If anything, the blasts encouraged him to move faster.

There were the soldiers in the distance, who were quickly becoming not-so-distant, rushing forward to meet them, already taking aim. Dipper's keen eyesight could nearly make out their expressions already. Focused, determined. Ready to kill. Ready to make the ultimate sacrifice to protect their country.

Dipper almost admired their cohesion. But they were the enemy. And he had a job to do. It was kill or be killed now... and he would much rather live. He lifted his gun and turned it from safe to auto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The return of the problematic fave. I'm sorry I just love Pavonis too much I had to bring him back as an actual likable character. Hopefully you guys like him this time around, I think his role will be quite... interesting.  
> also I have no clue how the army works haha oh well ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ


	14. The First Battle

Dipper began to slow as the two forces got closer. Not by choice; his comrades were also slowing as they aimed at the approaching soldiers. The tall demon 8 Ball pointed forward, shouting, “Fire!”

For a brief second, Dipper hesitated, heart aching at the expressions of agony he could see on the soldiers that have already been shot down. But then the sound of gunfire filled his ears, all around him and in front of him, a couple shots coming far too close for comfort. One even grazed his arm, and he jerked away from it, hissing in pain and shooting a glance at his arm. It had torn his sleeve open, but didn't seem to have caused much damage. But the pain was exactly the motivator he needed. He finally fired back.

His first shot missed, and he moved forward a few steps as he pulled the charging handle, reloading. The next shot did hit. Dead center in someone's chest, penetrating right through their protective gear. They went down.

Dipper's fingers shook. He forced himself to look back up, running several paces to the right; he didn't want to stay in one place for long. He noted the armor plating on the soldiers' vests. He had been taught about this gear. The vests themselves couldn't stop high-powered rifles, so they were equipped with heavy armor plates to provide protection. However, such plates were rigid and bulky, and therefore only applied to certain areas. He had learned where to shoot to avoid them.

He fired again. His sharp vision put him at an advantage here. He could see the enemy more clearly than they could see him. There was already dust in the air from their boots stomping across the dry ground. But he could see through it just fine. He silently thanked Bill and watched as his shot hit home, catching someone in the throat and throwing them back. They hit the ground and didn't move.

Dipper vaguely heard 8 Ball calling directions. It seemed that his body went on autopilot. He just ran and dove and shot, his aim improving as time went on, his reflexes the only thing keeping him from getting shot in return. The two sides were almost crashing into each other by now. He could see physical fights breaking out, guns smashing together and being used to stab out at anyone who got too close. A few people, disarmed, were using knives or striking with their fists and feet.

An explosion shook the ground, far too close to Dipper. He lost his balance and fell onto his hands and knees, ears ringing. Wincing, he stumbled back up, only to come face to face with one of the US soldiers. His eyes widened, and he fumbled to get a hold of his rifle, but before he could, the man planted his boot in his stomach and threw him onto his back. Dipper stared up at him in shock as the barrel of his gun was pointed between his eyes. His muscles seemed to freeze up, he wouldn't be able to get his own gun up in time, it was laying on the ground next to him, close but too far, too-

An intense flash of white lit up Dipper's vision, along with a thundering crack that made him flinch and cover his ears. The man's body seized up and then fell. Panting, Dipper scrambled to his feet, seeing that the other's clothing was charred black, smoke rising from his body. He didn't know if he was still alive, but he shot him anyway, and turned to look behind him.

Pavonis gave him a thumbs-up, and hurled more lightning from his hands, flying out over the enemy forces. Dipper's heart was pounding as he resumed shooting. He had almost died. In his very first battle, someone had almost managed to kill him. If it wasn't for that demon he had met... he shook his head. No point in dwelling on it. He would thank him later.

The near-death experiences did not end there. The battle continued on for what felt like hours, though he would later learn it only took about thirty minutes. Several times, he felt bullets pass through his clothing, flaying open his skin, making him bleed. He felt his skin get sliced as grenades exploded and sent fragments of metal and rocks hurling at him. He was buffeted by the blast quite a few times, getting knocked down and having to scramble back up before he was targeted. He was soon covered in sweat and blood, not all of it his. Far too often, someone managed to get right in front of him without him realizing, and he just shot them in the chest or sometimes even the face. He felt horrible about taking such shots, but there was minor comfort in knowing they died quickly.

At one point, the Bats squad finished their job of destroying planes, and came down to fight, throwing what appeared to be magical bombs into the enemy's ranks. This magic exploded on contact into fire, electricity, and various other energies. It did a lot of damage and seemed to disorient the soldiers, who scrambled to avoid it, their attention momentarily diverted.

Dipper glanced at the magic-using demons as often as he could. They were incredible, sending plumes of fire across the field, raining down shards of ice, some even just grabbing the humans with magic and slamming them down into the ground, no doubt shattering bones.

While a good number of Bill's troops have fallen, it wasn't near as many as the other side was losing. They were having to back away as the brigade of demons and 'Changelings' advanced on them. Dipper began to gain confidence. They were winning. This would be over soon, and then he could relax, just had to hold out a while longer-

A powerful impact to his chest knocked him backward. He lost his grip on his gun as he fell back, breathing suddenly difficult. He gasped, trying to sit up, but pain shot through his torso as though a hammer had been swung into his chest. His fingers grabbed at the front of his vest, finding a hole in the fabric. He probed inside, and felt metal. A bullet. He was both terrified and relieved. It hadn't reached his skin. But why was he in so much pain?

He struggled over onto his knees, stomach lurching as the pain nearly made him throw up. His vision blurred, but he picked up his rifle, crawling forward. A nearby human, one of Bill's, saw him and leaned down to haul him to his feet.

“What happened?” she asked briskly, eyes darting around as she checked their surroundings.

Dipper stood still, letting their comrades march by and provide them some cover. “I... I didn't see but, someone shot me. It didn't go all the way through, but it really hurts.”

“The force of the bullet still caused it to impact your chest. There's definitely going to be bruising, and you might have internal bleeding. Maybe even a broken rib or sternum or something. But it's better than being dead, right? Are you capable of continuing?”

Dipper had built up quite a pain tolerance in the past weeks. He nodded, taking a deep and painful breath. “Y-yeah. I think I can hold out.”

“Good. Let's go.” She ran forward. Dipper followed, nearly sobbing as each impact of his foot against the ground sent a wave of agony through him. But he couldn't give up. When this was over, he could get medical treatment. Soon, he told himself.

He could see the Berserkers ahead, happily tearing through vehicles, throwing large grenade launchers and other weapons. Nothing remained for the US soldiers to use. They still bravely continued to fire, trying to take out as many of Bill's troops as they could, but they were fighting a losing battle. They were soon cut down, and Dipper heard a command echoed among their leaders, ordering a retreat.

It seemed like there were only a few dozen left. They immediately obeyed their superiors and turned to run away.

“How cowardly,” a familiar voice boomed, and Dipper looked up to see Bill fly overhead, going to shout after the retreating army. “Yes, go on, run away you pathetic humans! If you know what's good for you, you'll abandon that shoddy little base you have set up two miles northwest of here and never come back! We could use the extra equipment!” He chuckled and looked down at his battered but energetic troops. “Feel free to use them as target practice, but don't follow them. I'll send a reconnaissance group later to see if they're still at their base. If not, we'll go and loot it. If they are... maybe we'll go say hi tomorrow. Let's go home.”

Dipper sighed heavily, shoulders slumping. He released his tight hold on his weapon, shifting the strap to move it around to his back, and began walking back. He found that he was limping, a fresh pain in his leg. Looking down, he saw that the fabric was shredded, pieces of metal sticking out. Shrapnel from an explosion he hadn't noticed. When did that happen?

He groaned and looked ahead, shaking his head as his vision shimmered. It was dark around the edges, as though he was about to fall asleep. He was exhausted.

“Dipper?” he heard Bill calling. “Where are you at, I know you're around- oh there you are!” The demon flew down to float next to him. “Whoa, kid, you look rough. Are you okay?”

Dipper tried to speak, but his voice cracked. He coughed, clearing his throat, which made his chest ache more. “I'm fine,” he rasped. “Besides, you know, having just killed a bunch of my own kind who have families that will never see them again.”

“Such is war. Did you take any of their souls?”

“Bill...” The name came out as almost a whine, but Dipper was too tired to care. “I wasn't thinking about that, I was busy trying not to die.”

“Ah, yeah, understandable. But in the future, try to take advantage of those deaths, human souls are a fantastic source of magical energy. Are you hurt? I can see you limping.”

“I got hit several times. Mostly glancing blows, nothing really stuck from what I can tell, but... one person managed to shoot me in the chest. The vest stopped it, but it still really hurts.”

“Yeesh.” Bill seemed almost sympathetic. “I bet. But aren't those vests great? Made by our very own spider people, like most of our clothing. Better than what the human military was using. You might have died if it had been one of their vests.”

“That's good to know.”

“I'll personally see to it that you get patched up. Any other injuries I should know about?”

“There's metal stuck in my leg from an explosion. But... I still have all my body parts, at least. And I didn't die, though I came close. I have to thank... oh what was his name... Pavonis, I think.”

Bill stared at him. “Pavonis? The peacock star?”

“Um... yeah?”

Bill gave an amused chuckle. “So you met him, huh? Yeah, he's... interesting. Quite powerful considering how young he is, I've been keeping a close eye on his progress. He's quite friendly once you get to know him. But he can be lazy. It took a lot of prodding for me to get him to actually fight for us. He'd rather just laze around in that human form of his and eat sweets and flirt with people.”

“Sounds like he knows how to live.”

“Yeah you could say that. He's really flirty actually, seriously, be careful because you are exactly the type of person he'd be into.”

“I'm sure I can handle it. As long as he's not too pushy about it.”

“No, he's not, he'll stop if you tell him to shut up, but don't be surprised if you turn around and he's checking you out.” Bill seemed to be reminiscing on something.

“Speaking from experience?”

Bill looked around, then leaned in close and muttered, “We may or may not have had a fling once. It's not important. He's very tempting and enthusiastic and I'll admit I decided to have some fun. But it doesn't mean anything.”

It was Dipper's turn to laugh. It hurt though so he soon stopped. “Seems I'm always finding out new stuff about you.”

“Well us demons do like our seven deadly sins. Me and him would agree that lust is one of the best ones.”

“You said he has a human form?”

“Yep. Based off his old body from when he was human. It's pretty attractive, he has these big green eyes and wavy red hair down to his shoulders... skin is kinda pale but his face has a pleasing shape to it. He hasn't changed it much since he became a demon. Still looks like he's sixteen actually, like when he died. I don't know if he'll ever make his body look older. He might not know how. But he's... I guess I could call him an adult. He's an immortal demon now, I suppose appearance doesn't matter.”

“Yeah.” Dipper squinted off into the distance and groaned. “This walk is taking forever.”

“Teleport.”

“I don't think I have the strength for that right now.”

“You'll build endurance. Here, let me help.” Bill slid his arm through Dipper's. “We'll do it together. I'll guide you but it's up to you to use the magic. Let's go.”

Dipper focused, scraping together what energy he could and willing himself to teleport. He thought about the camp, his tent with its bed, how there was probably a chow hall waiting for him with hot food... darkness surrounded him, but it was all wrong, there was no pressure like he expected, just black rapidly taking over his vision, the world seeming to spin underneath him, and he heard Bill let out an alarmed shout as he slipped out of the other's grip. By the time he realized he was falling, he was hitting the ground, and everything went dark and silent.


	15. I'm Proud Of Ya

“Can you hear me? Dipper, come on, come back to me...”

Warm hands pressed to his face, seeming to tingle, gently tilting his head. Dipper groaned, body feeling heavy. His eyelids flickered but didn't open.

“That's it, you're okay.” One of the hands patted his cheek. “Go on, open your eyes.”

“Ugh.” Dipper's mouth felt incredibly dry. He licked his palate, and shifted, forcing his eyes open. Everything was blurry, but as he blinked, his surroundings came into focus. He was on his back, looking up at a fabric roof. There was an underlying scent of blood and dirt, and he glanced over to see Bill. The demon let go of him and beamed.

“Good morning! What a night, huh?”

“Bill? Nngh...” Dipper rubbed his head. His helmet had been removed, and he ran his fingers through his messy hair. “What happened?”

“Haha, well, you trying to teleport yesterday took its toll on you. You didn't even move, you just collapsed, unconscious. I had to pick you up and bring you back here. You slept through the rest of the day and night. It's like 5 AM now.”

“Oh. Dang.” Dipper tried to push himself up, but Bill immediately put his hands on his shoulders. He didn't push back, he just stopped him. Then he slowly eased him down again.

“You have some broken ribs. Our medics here did what they could but there are a lot of injuries, they're prioritizing the fatal ones over the non-fatal. You're in pain but you'll live. All your cuts and stuff were treated, your bones were set... you've got a lot of bruises though. You'll need to stay here for a while to recover.”

“How long?” Dipper noted that he was still wearing his uniform pants and the black shirt, though the top was gone and his boots were off. He really wanted to get up and go take a shower. He could feel sweat and dirt caked on him.

“They said they'll probably be able to get to you by... hm, I don't know, tonight maybe? Then they'll finish healing your ribs, at least enough for you to leave, but you'll have to refrain from excessive physical activity for a while. I'll let you know.”

“Great.” Dipper's head thumped back against the pillow. He noted that he was on a cot. Lovely. Glancing around to either side, he could see others laying on cots, most asleep. And mostly human, though there were a few demons. All bandaged to some degree, but none looking too bad. “So I guess this is the room for low priority patients?”

“Pretty much. No one here is in any danger of dying. The tent next door, oh boy, now that's where the real pain is. You um... probably wouldn't want to see what it's like in there.”

“Probably not.” Dipper shifted, grunting at the dull pain in his torso. “So we won, huh?”

“Yep! That's what counts, that we won! I expected no less. You did great out there. I didn't get to watch you much, but you did your part and you did it well. You survived with only minimal injuries. I'm proud of ya, Dipper.” Bill ruffled his hair.

“Thanks. I'm... still kinda in shock, I think, but... I'm glad it's over.” Dipper sighed, leaning into the touch of Bill's hand. He'll take any comfort he could get right now. “Hey... thanks for before. You know, when I got here and I panicked... if it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't have gotten back up, I would have just laid there and cried, but... you helped me through it. So thank you.”

“Any time. I care about you, I don't want to lose you.”

Dipper smiled, reaching up to slide his hand against Bill's side. “So you do care about me.”

“Yes, I do,” Bill admitted. “I have for a very long time. For a brief moment, when you collapsed, I was actually worried that you were...” He paused and closed his eye, seeming to sigh. Then he opened it again. “But you're okay. You're okay, and I'm proud of you.”

Dipper gently touched Bill's shoulder, and traced his fingers down to his arm. It wasn't often that he got to just look at him like this, and touch him. He was pleasantly warm, as always. Static buzzed under Dipper's fingers, as though he was touching an old TV screen. When his hand reached Bill's, he grasped it, tilting it until he could wind their fingers together. “Thank you.”

Bill looked down at their hands, and then back at Dipper. He curled his fingers, willingly holding the other's hand. “Don't mention it. But hey, you need to keep training, all right? And learn better protective spells. You don't want this happening again.”

“Oh, it'll probably happen again. But I'll try not to die.”

“That's a good goal to have.” Bill's other hand covered Dipper's, and he sighed again, before letting go. “I need to go check in with my commanders, there's a lot of work to be done... I'll let you know when you can leave. See you later.”

“See ya. Oh, and if you see Pavonis, could you tell him thanks for me?”

“Sure thing. You try to get back to sleep, you need the rest.” Bill waved to him and ducked out of the tent.

Dipper shifted as he tried to get comfortable. He started to roll over onto his side, but that hurt, so he stayed on his back. He looked down at his chest, curiously lifting his shirt. His torso was wrapped in bandages, and when he prodded at where the bullet had hit him, pain flared up. He grimaced and pulled the shirt back down. He lifted his injured leg. Also bandaged. He would probably need a new uniform to replace this one.

There was a blanket at the foot of the cot, he realized. Neatly folded, his ankles were propped on it and he hadn't even noticed. He leaned forward to grab it, shaking it open and pulling it over himself. It was already warm in the tent, but the sensation of the blanket over him helped him relax. He looked at the people around him again, but they were all sleeping from what he could tell, so he decided to do the same. Not like there was anything else to do... he should have asked Bill to bring him his cell phone. He hadn't put it in his pocket because he didn't want it to break.

After several minutes, he managed to fall asleep. It seemed like he had barely closed his eyes before Reveille woke him up again. He sighed. Why did Bill think it would be a good idea to wake everyone up with that at 6 AM six out of seven days of the week? At least he didn't have to get up for it this time, though. He listened to the tune, and then went back to sleep.

 

_Dust._

_Fire._

_Screaming and gunshots and explosions._

_Faces flashed in front of Dipper's eyes, all determined and ready, and then terrified, and finally contorted in agony as their bodies collapsed, never to get up again. And it never seemed to end, over and over he killed these strangers, having to watch the life leave their eyes, as they almost seemed to plead with him to have mercy. And he couldn't stop killing them._

_Heat, pain, exhaustion._

_Fingers cramping, legs shaking. Skin coated with sweat._

_Keep shooting, keep moving._

_The faces seemed almost familiar now. People who had trusted him, who never thought he would betray them. This wasn't right. Why was he hurting these people? Why was he crying? He was supposed to be fighting the enemy, but..._

_Who really was the enemy? His people? Humans? This was murder._

_Someone was approaching him, running fast, they didn't seem to have a weapon and for some reason he couldn't make out their face, but they were getting close, their arms were out, reaching for him, and he took aim and shot them square in the chest. Now he could see their face, and he screamed when he realized who it was, only able to watch helplessly as she seemed to spin backward from the force of the shot, long brown hair flying around her face, and then she collapsed._

_The gun fell from his hands. He screamed again, running and falling to his knees next to her, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her, begging her to wake up, he didn't mean to, he was so sorry..._

“MABEL!” Dipper woke up yelling. He kicked the blanket off of himself, and was halfway to his feet before he realized it was just a nightmare. He sat on the edge of the cot for a few moments, staring into space, before the pain in his chest reminded him that he had broken ribs. Tears streamed down his face, and he took a shuddering breath. A dream. It was all a dream.

The others in the tent were staring at him. Some annoyed. Others concerned. He coughed and turned to lay back down, calling out, “Sorry,” in a ragged voice. “Bad dream.”

Sympathetic voices answered him.

“Yeah I get 'em too.”

“It's normal.”

“Sorry, kid.”

Dipper pulled the blanket up, using it to wipe his eyes off. He couldn't stop shaking. That had all felt so real. Most of it, he knew, was based off what he had just gone through. But the end... His chest ached. He could still see so clearly the look on Mabel's face, the absolute horror and betrayal. He started crying again. What would she say if she could see what he has done? Would she ever want to talk to him again, knowing her brother was a murderer?

“I'm sorry,” he sobbed. “I didn't want to do any of this, I'm sorry... I'll never hurt you, it was just a dream...”

The door opened, and his heart leaped, hoping it was Bill... and a demon stepped in, looking at him curiously. “Are you okay?” she asked. “I heard screaming.”

Dipper sighed and wiped his eyes off again. “It's nothing. Just a nightmare.”

“Oh, I'm sorry. If you like, I could put you under with a sleep spell that will prevent you from dreaming?”

Dipper hesitated, then agreed. “It's better than having nightmares.” It wasn't like his mind wasn't already being magically influenced.

She walked over, leaning down to brush his hair back from his forehead and press her palm to the skin. “This will only take a moment. Just relax and close your eyes.”

He closed his eyes, but relaxing was proving to be impossible. The medic didn't seem to mind though. She just hummed, and warmth spread through Dipper's body, his muscles loosening on their own. All his thoughts were stopped, and he could feel his breathing slow. In mere seconds, he was passed out, lost in a dreamless sleep.

 

The next time Dipper opened his eyes, he could tell that hours had passed. But he hadn't dreamed. He felt well-rested, though his limbs were cramped from spending all this time lying in bed without moving. He yawned and experimentally tried to sit up. Still hurt. But maybe...

He slipped a hand under his shirt, taking a deep breath and concentrating. He wasn't the best at it, but he did figure out healing magic, might as well give it a try... Heat soaked through his skin, seeming to tingle beneath the surface, and he directed it to his ribs. He didn't know which ones were broken so he just chose to focus on all of them. The pain faded, and soon he was able to breathe with no difficulty. He kept casting the spell, until he absolutely couldn't keep it up anymore. He released the magic and slumped back. Now he was tired again.

And on top of that, he was hungry. He lifted his arm to check his watch. It was past 1 PM. Well no wonder he was hungry, he hasn't eaten in nearly 24 hours.

_Hey, Bill,_ he thought, directing it specifically at the dream demon.

It took a couple moments, but then Bill replied.  _Yes?_

_I'm hungry. Is anyone gonna bring me something to eat?_

_I suppose someone could. I'll get someone to bring you some food. What are you in the mood for?_

_I don't know, if there's any ham or chicken or something, that'll be fine. And mashed potatoes, if possible. Just... whatever, you know what I like._

_All right. And hey, I saw that dream of yours. Are you okay?_

Dipper had almost forgot about that. He grimaced.  _Yeah. It's... starting to fade away now. Hopefully I forget it._

_It was quite a nightmare. You just relax, food should be arriving soon. I have business to attend to but I promise I'll visit you later._

They said goodbye, and Bill's presence in Dipper's mind faded, leaving Dipper alone. He looked over at his neighbors. They were awake now, but seemed to be keeping to themselves, reading or looking at their phones or just twiddling their thumbs and staring off into space. None of them seemed too interested in talking, and he could only hear a little bit of chatter from further cots. Dipper rolled into a more comfortable position on his side, now that it didn't hurt to do so.

He finally noticed the table next to his cot. It was just a small thing, supported by four thin legs, but there was a cup of water sitting on it, as well as a piece of paper. He picked up the paper. It had a drawing of a pine tree on it, and elegant but completely capitalized handwriting reading, 'GET WELL SOON, FLESH PILE!' There was a little triangle drawn at the end, with a smiley face in it. Dipper laughed. Bill sure had a weird way of cheering people up, but it worked. He put the paper down and took a drink of water.

Dipper wondered how long he would have to wait for his food to arrive. Judging by Bill's comment about visiting him later, it probably wasn't going to be Bill bringing it. It would be someone else. But a visitor would be nice, regardless of who it was.

He didn't have to wonder for long. After only about five minutes, the door opened and a familiar figure floated in, one hand held out with palm up, a tray of food levitating in front of him.

“Your delivery has arrived,” Pavonis said cheerfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how big of a role Pavonis is gonna have in this but he's definitely gonna be a side character because he is my problematic fav and I love him.


	16. I Like Talking To You

It was good to see someone familiar, if still quite new to Dipper. He pushed himself up on an elbow, grinning as the star flew over. “Hey, Pavonis.”

“Good to see that you survived, Pines. I was a little worried about you, but you pulled through.” Pavonis set the tray down on the table, and Dipper took a plate off of it. Turkey and mashed potatoes. And they looked way better than the food he had at the training camp. He grabbed the silverware and dug in.

“Thank you, I was starving,” he said through a mouthful.

Pavonis laughed and waved his hand dismissively. “No big deal, anything to help out a friend of Bill's.”

“And thanks for saving me earlier, I really thought I was going to die, there was no way I could have gotten my gun up in time to shoot that guy...”

“Yeah, you were in a real pickle. I figured I would lend you a hand. If you had magic you could have just thrown him out of your way...”

Dipper swallowed, and sheepishly said, “I do know magic. I just didn't think about it at the time.”

“Oh, you do? Nice, what all can you do?” Pavonis sat on the edge of the cot, watching him with interest.

“Lots of different stuff. I can summon fire, I can levitate things and teleport, I can pull the souls from things and use them for energy, and bind them to items to enchant them... all kinds of things.” Dipper paused to cram more food in his mouth.

“Nice. Well I see you're busy eating, so how about I tell you about myself? Unless, of course, you'd rather be left alone.”

“Nah, you can hang out with me. It's pretty lonely here.”

“I bet. Okay, well... like I said, I was human before... I was born in 1595. I had weird powers pretty much since I was a babe. Haha, one of my earliest memories is my ma walking into my room and screaming when she saw all my toys floating around me. Scared me so bad that I dropped all of them and started crying. My parents had no idea what to make of my abilities. They thought I was possessed by Satan or something. I got dragged to church so many times and examined by all these doctors, very annoying, but they decided that I was healthy, and as long as I follow the light of our lord, I would be a wholesome person like anyone else. Ha!” Pavonis slapped his knee. “Like I was gonna do that, huh? I've been an atheist pretty much my whole life! None of that Bible stuff ever made sense to me. I refused to follow it. That just made them dislike me even more. Witchcraft, on top of atheism? What was next, homosexuality?”

Dipper couldn't help it; he snorted. “Must have sucked.”

“Oh yeah, it did. Especially since I was into men.”

Dipper reached over to grab the glass of juice that was sitting on the tray. “Wow. How did that work out?”

“Hmm, not very well. See, there was this farmer boy that lived down the road from me, very sweet, not that bright but he knew his way around a hoe.” Pavonis laughed, and Dipper nearly choked on his drink. “He was two years older than me, but he was one of the few people that actually seemed to want to spend time with me. Everyone else grew up hearing all these awful things about me, but he never went to my school; him and his siblings were raised right there on his farm. So while he was unsure of my powers, he didn't really care because I was nice to him and that was what really mattered.”

“That's nice. It's good to find someone who understands you.”

“Yeah, I really liked him. His name was John. Probably one of the best friends I ever had.” Pavonis was quiet for a few moments, reflecting. Then he said, “I miss him.”

Dipper set down his silverware, rubbing the other's back. He wasn't sure if it would mean anything to the demon, but it was the thought that counted. “I'm sorry. It couldn't have been easy, living on when everyone you knew...” He trailed off.

Pavonis went still at the touch of his hand, and turned to look at Dipper. He seemed sad for a moment, then blinked, lower eyelid raising in what Dipper had come to recognize as a mouthless smile. “It's all right. It hurt at the time but I've moved past it. Hey, finish eating. I have more tragic backstory to talk about.”

Dipper laughed and continued eating, now retrieving a bowl of grapes from the tray and picking one out.

“I figured out pretty quick I was bisexual,” Pavonis said. “But yet, as much as I appreciated looking at the ladies and gents, I never wanted to... actually romance them, you know? Everyone talked about getting married, about love and courting, having children... none of it appealed to me. I just wanted to have friends. And sometimes I wanted to get intimate with them. Did I really have to get this whole love thing involved? Heh. I didn't know when I was human, but it turns out I'm just plain aromantic. I just... don't fall in love. But it's fine by me. I don't need it. I never feel lonely or incomplete, I feel just fine with my friends and lovers. Screw romance, I say.”

“Heh. Must be nice to just give it up... my sister and I are both hopeless romantics... She's a bit more extreme than me, though. I tend to get awkward crushes on people and then not tell them and act all weird around them... when she gets a crush, she goes right to them and starts flirting. It's pretty impressive.”

“I feel ya. I mean, I'll flirt, but not for romance. And you know, as it turned out, I wasn't just bi. I ended up learning more about sexuality and stuff as I traveled, once I became a demon, and realized I was pan. But hey, they aren't so different.”

“No, they're not.” Dipper was kinda surprised Pavonis was being so open about this. Then again, he kinda wasn't. Demons didn't really feel shame about anything. They said whatever came to mind.

“It was nice having words for who I was. But anyway, when I was human? I wasn't picky. I found lots of people attractive. I casually bedded whoever I wanted. John was actually my first, and that...” Pavonis trailed off, a distant look in his eye. “That was amazing.” He coughed. “But anyway. My powers were only getting stronger, and it really worried everyone who knew me. The accusations of being the antichrist, the devil, whatever you wanna call it, just kept coming. I was constantly having to defend myself. And eventually, my own mother suggested that I was a demon. That was the last straw. I ran away, vowing to master my powers, and then they would regret everything they said. They wanted to call me a monster? Then damn it, that's what I was going to become. Heh. Bad mistake on my part. I got tricked by a demon, and... this is what I became. Guess I learned my lesson.”

Dipper was nearly done with all the food he had been brought by now, and was listening intently. “Did you really?”

“Heh, nope. I'd take this over being human any day. Besides, I can shapeshift into a human form, and make it look pretty much like my old one. That's... about the only shapeshifting I can do, but hey, I'm not complaining.”

“Nice. Bill mentioned something about your human form. I think it's cool that you can do that. I don't even think he can.”

“Well he probably could, but it would require a lot of energy. He'd rather just body snatch someone and eat their soul and just keep the body for himself. It's what he did a few hundred years ago when we uh... hung out more often. Body ended up dying though. Host had some kind of incurable disease. Luckily not transmittable. Some genetic thing, I don't know. But he seemed to like the body while it lasted. I wonder when he'll get another one.”

“He's talked about it, but said he's waiting for the right host to come along.”

“Ah, Cipher, such a perfectionist.” Pavonis gathered up the dishes and stacked them back onto the tray. “You want anything else off this? If not, I'm taking it with me.”

“Nah, I'm good. But... you're leaving already?”

Pavonis was starting to get up, but then he turned back to Dipper. “You actually want me to stay?”

“Yeah, I like talking to you. You're interesting.”

“I'm interesting? Wow, um... okay.” The star settled back down on the cot, looking at him with wonder. “Not very many people actually like being around me, they say I talk too much, but um... yeah I can stay.”

“My twin sister is constantly talking about something,” Dipper explained. “I'm used to it. And unlike her, everything you're telling me is new information. I love learning about demons. You guys have such fascinating lives.”

“Well gosh, that's... awfully nice of you.” A few portions of Pavonis's form seemed to glow a faint pink, before returning to normal. “But I really don't know what else to say about me. Why don't we talk about you? Now that you're done eating and all.”

“Okay. What do you want to know?”

The two ended up talking for hours, trading stories and jokes, listing off their respective magical talents, and giving a few demonstrations. Dipper wasn't able to show off as much, but Pavonis still seemed impressed with his abilities. Then Dipper asked the psychic if he could show him his human form.

“I was wondering when you would ask. Okay, hold on.” Pavonis floated back, giving himself more room, and closed his eye. His indigo aura glowed bright, concealing his entire form, short sparks flying from him as his body shifted. The light grew larger, taking on a humanoid shape. Legs, arms, a torso and head. Then the aura faded, and a human stood in its place, spreading his arms and giving a dramatic twirl. Shoulder-length, wavy red hair flew around as he spun, and when he stopped and looked at Dipper, he saw that the other now had seafoam green eyes. Two of them, round and curious. Just as Bill described him.

“Cool,” Dipper said, looking the other over. He had also clothed himself during the transformation, luckily. He was wearing simple jean shorts and a green tank top. Seeing color on the demon's left arm, he asked, “Hey, what's on your arm?”

“What, this?” Pavonis smiled. It was very serene, coming on slowly. It was almost a gentle expression, until Dipper saw his teeth. His canines were far sharper than any human's should be. He came closer, turning so Dipper could see the design on his arm. “Tattoo. You like?”

Sure enough, it was a tattoo of purple lightning. Very detailed, it almost looked like a photo on his skin. “I like it,” Dipper agreed.

“It's so cool. I love how it turned out.” Pavonis flexed and admired the design, then sat back down on the edge of the cot. “So what do you think? Do I meet your expectations?”

Dipper cleared his throat. “Well, I mean... Bill kinda described you, and... you look how he said, so... yeah. Sure.”

“Heh. You're so cute.” Pavonis brushed his hair out of his eyes and gave a charming grin.

Dipper looked him over and then swallowed, face feeling hot. It wasn't really a bad thing. The other's grin widened, and his chest constricted. Oh no. He was experienced enough to know what that meant. He thought the other was attractive.

“I... need some water right now immediately.” Dipper twisted to grab one of the glasses from the table, but the sudden motion caused the pain to return, and he yelped, nearly knocking over the glass entirely. Luckily, he managed to catch it.

“You okay?” Pavonis asked in concern.

“Yeah. Fine.” Dipper took a drink, fully aware that he was screaming internally. He thought he was done with these random crushes in high school. Shouldn't he have outgrown this by now?

Pavonis didn't seem convinced, but he shrugged and didn't press it. “Okay. You're really skittish. Better get over that quickly.”

“I'm just... Things have been really stressful for me and this is my first time getting to relax for this long in forever and I guess I'm all jumpy, I feel like I should be doing something right now...”

The other chuckled and stretched out his arms a bit. “Yeah, you'll get that feel sometimes.”

Dipper's eyes lingered on the other's midriff as a sliver of skin was exposed, then he forced himself to look back up. He reminded himself that the other would not be interested in him the same way. He wasn't going to set himself up for more disappointment. Time to nip that one in the bud right now.

“Well, I'll let you get some rest, I really need to go relax too, so... I'll stop by later, Bill said he'll let me know if I need to bring you dinner. But you should be out of here by then. And once you are, give me a shout, I'd love to hang out with you again.”

“Sure. Sounds good.”

Pavonis smiled and stood, squeezing Dipper's shoulder and then spinning as he transformed back into a star. He picked up the tray, made sure all the dishes were on it, and headed out, waving to Dipper as he left.

Dipper waved back, and then laid down fully, sighing.

 _You really are a hopeless romantic,_ Bill suddenly said in his mind.

Dipper groaned. _Don't remind me._

_Don't get attached to him. He's not going to go out with you. If anything, he'll be your friend and ask to sleep with you. That's about it._

_You uh... think he's only talking to me because he wants to get in my pants?_

_Nah, I'm sure he actually likes you. But he's really about that friends with benefits thing. So... don't be surprised if he flirts with you. He's quite persistent._

_You would know, wouldn't you?_

Bill was quiet for a few moments. Then he conceded, _Yes. Of course I'm not stopping you from doing whatever you want with your body, I'm just making sure you're aware. He's as promiscuous as a fine harlot._

_That's uh..._

_All I wanted to say, I think a medic should be coming to check on you right about now, talk to ya later!_ Then Bill's presence was gone, and Dipper rolled his eyes. He would never understand that dream demon.

Just as Bill said, one of the medics walked in. She moved slowly, going to each cot to check on their occupants, replacing bandages on some, and giving others medicine, working healing magic on almost everyone. A few people were able to get up and leave right then, gathering their stuff from the little footlockers before heading out. Dipper hoped he would be declared healthy enough to leave. He didn't want to spend another day in here, even if there would be company.

When the mage got to him, she first checked on his leg, and then pulled the bandage off and pressed her hand to it, casting a spell. The soreness melted completely from the limb, and he was able to move it with no discomfort. Then she moved down to his chest, fingers prodding against his ribs. He winced, and she nodded and said, “I may be able to heal it the rest of the way today. If not, you'll need to stay here longer.”

“Okay.”

She massaged the bones and murmured a spell, and Dipper felt the familiar warmth that came with healing magic. It seemed to tingle, like a feather was being dusted over his ribs. His breathing had already been better since he healed himself earlier, but now it took almost no effort at all. He took in a deep breath. That felt amazing.

A few moments passed, and then she stopped. “That's all I can do for you. It should finish healing in a few days, but for now, you can leave if you wish. Just don't participate in any intense exercise for about three days. That includes fighting. If anyone has a problem with it, tell them to come talk to me. Okay?”

Dipper nodded. “Okay.”

“Good. Your stuff's in the footlocker, but you may want to get a new uniform to replace this one. Or see if it can be fixed.” She moved on to the next patient, and Dipper got out of bed. He stretched and relished being able to move around again, and then went to retrieve his things. He found his boots and pulled them on, and lifted his coat. He turned it over in his hands, and then decided that he didn't want to put it on right now. His hat was still in one of his cargo pockets. He took it out before walking outside, placing it on his head in a motion that was just natural by now.

He greeted a few people as he passed them, trading introductions, but no one lingered to talk for long. He walked with sure steps over to his tent, quickly informing Bill that he was released but also that he didn't want to be bothered for the next several minutes. Gleaning an idea of his intentions from Dipper's thoughts, Bill promised to leave him alone until he was done.

Upon entering the shaded tent, Dipper approached the table and set his hat down, picking up his phone. He was already calling Mabel as he went to sit down on the bed. He had a lot to tell her.


	17. Happy Birthday

Over the next few days, Dipper made a quick recovery, mostly thanks to Bill using his healing powers to speed things along. But he wasn't made to do anymore fighting on those days, instead being directed to train. Since he couldn't do much physical training lest he break a rib again, he instead focused on magic. He got to hang out with Pyronica again, learning fire magic from her. Luthgore wasn't at this base, but there were others he could learn dark magic from. And Pavonis even offered to teach Dipper about using electricity, which Dipper found to be an immensely fun challenge. Electricity was almost as dangerous as fire, and he accidentally zapped himself on several occasions, but Pavonis was enthusiastic and made the lessons fun. Sometimes he would be in his demon form, other times he would be a human, whatever he felt was needed to make Dipper more comfortable. He soon became a very good friend to him, and Dipper appreciated having him around.

Bill was very busy, but he took time to see Dipper at least once a day to see how he was doing, usually around meal times, and would talk to him and praise him on his accomplishments. He kept him updated with what their army has been up to, and asked for his advice on developing a rank structure and other rules that would make their ex-military Changelings feel more at home. Luckily, the humans adapted fast to working with the demons, especially when they were gifted with enhanced senses. Those who were higher-ranking even got additional powers, which served as an incentive to join Bill's side. They were getting more and more recruits every day.

“Of course, a lot of your higher ranking military personnel aren't gonna defect,” Bill pointed out. “I've already noticed this. The E-5s and up? The ones who have been in for ten, fifteen, even twenty years? The officers who went through years of schooling before even properly wearing their rank? They're highly committed to their country. Their minds are made up. But they see what the traitors have gotten. They can see how powerful our troops are. And some of them may just be convinced. As for the younger servicemen? The ones who probably just joined out of a desire for glory and benefits? Very many of them are tempted. Distrust is rampant among the services. Everyone is expecting their friends to defect. Tension is high. Rumors are being spread. Which is exactly what I want. Lies lead to distrust, distrust leads to a lack of cooperation. And a lack of cooperation leads to chaos.”

“You have this very well planned out,” Dipper said.

“Of course. I've been wanting to do something like this for quite a long time. I know humans. There are good, selfless ones out there. I've seen them. But so many are greedy and selfish. They want everything for themselves. They want power and fame and fortune. And if they believe they can get it through me? Then they'll turn on their own people without batting an eye.”

“Humans really are a self-destructive species,” Dipper sighed, cutting a piece off the cake he had gotten to treat himself. It wasn't often that cake was available in the chow hall. It was even his favorite flavor: chocolate.

“Yep, you sure are. It benefits me, though. Hey, you've been kinda quiet all day. I would have thought you'd be more excited.”

“Why?” Dipper asked through a mouthful of cake.

“Why? Dipper, don't you know what day it is?”

“Um...” To be honest, Dipper hadn't really been paying much attention to the date. He swallowed and dug his phone out of his pocket. “Hold on...” He glanced over at Bill, who seemed incredulous. He wondered what was so significant about this date, and tapped the button to turn the screen on. The date said August 31, 2018. He looked at it for a few moments. Then it clicked. “Oh my God, it's my birthday!”

Bill slapped his hand on Dipper's back. “Happy 19th Birthday, Dipper!”

Dipper was stunned as the others in the building cheered and clapped for him. Vaguely he heard Pavonis start leading everyone in a chorus of, “Happy Birthday to you!” How could he have forgotten his own birthday? He's been really busy, but damn, that was sad.

“Happy Birthday dear Dipper, Happy Birthday to you!” Bill slapped a party hat down on Dipper's head and spun a noisemaker around.

Another realization occurred. Dipper straightened up and abruptly unlocked his phone. “I have to call my sister!”

“Oh yeah, it's her birthday too!” Bill laughed as he pulled the string for a tiny confetti canon, watching the paper fly across the room. “You really need to get your shit together, it's noon, she's probably been waiting for you to call her.”

Now Dipper felt bad. He listened to the phone ring, and then Mabel answered. “Happy Birthday!” he yelled immediately.

There was silence for a moment, and then he heard her cheerfully reply, “Happy Birthday! You remembered! I was starting to worry!”

“I wasn't gonna forget my own twin's birthday,” he said, blushing lightly.

“I know you wouldn't forget mine on purpose, but I wouldn't be surprised if you forgot your own, and thus mine by extension.”

“Yeah...” Dipper rubbed his neck. “I've been busy.”

“I bet. Are your ribs feeling better?”

“Oh yeah, a lot better. I'm still not doing much physical training though, I've just been kinda... focusing on magic.”

“That's cool. You know, some of your people... demons, that is... passed close to Piedmont not too long ago. But they pretty much left us alone. On Bill's orders, I bet?”

“I told him to keep you safe. He's keeping his promise.”

“Okay, good. And... Ford? Have you heard anything about him recently?”

“Sorry, we haven't. But there are rebellions cropping up all the time, I'm sure we'll find him involved with one of those, and when we do, we'll send him packing. We aren't going to let him get killed.”

“I hope you're able to find him. Stan is really worried. He keeps trying to call him but he won't answer his phone. Last time, it just went straight to voicemail.”

“Well hey, I'm sure he's all right. Let's not talk about the war. How are you doing? Anything fun happening for your birthday?”

“Mom and Dad are pretty sad right now, since you're not here to celebrate with us. But... we're gonna go out for dinner later. For now, they bought me a few presents, and we were actually watching a movie when you called.”

Dipper looked at Bill, who had glanced at him when Mabel mentioned that their parents were sad. But the demon didn't speak. “I'm sorry to hear about that. I wish I could be there... but I'll visit as soon as I can. Could I talk to them, maybe?”

“Sure. Here's Mom.” Mabel passed the phone over.

“Hey, Mom,” Dipper said, as happily as he could manage.

“Hi, sweetie. Are you doing all right?”

“I'm doing great, how about you?”

“I'm good. Happy Birthday, by the way.”

“Thanks!”

“I wish you were here to celebrate it with us, and not all the way in... wherever you are now.”

“I'm not entirely sure,” Dipper admitted.

“New Mexico in the foothills of the Rockies,” Bill said.

Dipper relayed that information. Neither of his parents were too familiar with the state. He talked to them for a few more minutes, and then the phone was returned to Mabel. He wished her a Happy Birthday again, and hoped that she would have a good day. She said that she would try, and he reminded her that no one was more optimistic and capable of brightening up a situation than her. That seemed to cheer her up, and she didn't seem very sad at all when she said goodbye.

Dipper returned the goodbye, and hung up. He looked at the phone for a few moments, then sighed and slipped it into his pocket. “I want to see them again. Bill, when are you going to let me visit?”

Bill shrugged. “When do you want to go visit them? As soon as you feel confident enough in your teleporting, you can just go see them. Or I could always take you and come back to pick you up later.”

“Wow, really? Then I could go see them today!” Dipper was already standing up, eager to get going, but Bill's hand on his wrist stopped him.

“Not today. Today I want you to show our newest arrivals around the camp, and get them situated. By the time you finish with that, it'll be far too late for you to go anywhere. I'll be busy for the rest of the night so I won't be here.”

Dipper's shoulders slumped. “Can't I show them around tomorrow?”

“Considering that we're marching two miles to lay siege to that army base tomorrow? Probably not. Well, you're not going anywhere. But they will be.”

Dipper sighed and picked up his tray. “Okay. Tomorrow, then?”

“I could probably work in time to take you to see them tomorrow. Remind me at breakfast.”

“Okay.” Dipper was visibly downhearted as he walked over to the washroom to give them the tray. “Sorry, Mabel,” he said quietly.

 

Showing the newcomers around was an annoying affair. They were all human and most were actually in a service prior to this, predominantly Army, though a few were Marine Corp and they bickered at each other, and there was a single airman who seemed to be regretting their decision, especially since all the rest would also gang up to harass him about things like 'lower fitness standards' and 'lack of discipline' and other things that Dipper didn't really care to listen to. And then there were the civilians who had only been through Bill's specialized basic training before coming here.

“Stop bitching because he's smarter than you,” Dipper finally snapped at them. “Every branch has its strengths and weaknesses. The Marines go out and get shit done. The Air Force is who gets the intel so they know what to do in the first place. Their planes fly your asses to where you need to go. None of you are better than each other, you're all part of Bill's army now, so deal with it.”

“I was actually just a cop,” the airman muttered.

“Then you know how to shoot, which is good. Jones, I see you over there rolling your eyes, do that again and I'll plant my boot in your face.” Dipper really was not in a good mood. It was his birthday and rather than spending it with his family, he was showing these jerks around. Some of them seemed all right, but most were way too cocky considering that most of them hadn't even seen combat yet.

Luckily, everyone that already had military experience was pretty much programmed to obey an officer, and while Dipper's rank was strange, it was pretty much what a typical captain wears, just tilted at a different angle. So he was answered with, “Yes sir,” and didn't have any more problems with that particular person.

Dipper was in no way the oldest here. He just turned nineteen. Some of the men and women he was leading were in their twenties. One guy from the Army even looked like he was almost thirty. He had asked them about their previous ranks when he first met them, and while he wasn't too familiar with them yet, some had been fairly high. E-3, E-4. Marking a few years of service already.

He wondered if any officers have switched sides. Surely they must have... Bill was probably just trying to figure out a way to incorporate them. Since they were usually leaders, and Bill had demons in such roles, he probably didn't have any use for them. So he just had them put on the same uniform as any other human.

At one point, upon having to listen to the ex-servicemen trade stories of their various experiences being exposed to CS gas in a gas chamber (something that every branch shared), he decided that he would try a new way of getting their respect.

“It wasn't that big of a deal, huh?” he asked them. “Well, why don't you prove it to me?”

Their confident boasts made him smile. They claimed that they would take it on with no masks or protective clothing whatsoever. Fine by him. Dipper got with Sgt. Godfrey, who provided him with a canister of tear gas and some inspiring words, “Fuck those annoying little shits up.”

Dipper kinda felt bad for the ones who wouldn't know what to expect, but really, he was so beyond caring. He would rather be spending time with his sister right now. It was his birthday and he was stuck on this dusty military base? He was going to make someone suffer. It wasn't like this was actually going to hurt them. According to the stories he had been listening to, the gas made it hard to breathe and irritated all your mucous membranes, thus leading to uncontrollable coughing and crying, but it cleared out of the system very quickly once in clean air. Everyone agreed that it was almost fun in a way. And they had dared him to go through with this. So he was doing it.

There was a building that so far had no use, it was just there in case the extra storage was needed. No windows and it had only one entrance. Not very well lit either, especially once the door was closed. Dipper instructed his group to go inside, and once they were all in, he would throw in the gas, and they could show him just how tough they were. The troops who didn't know what it would feel like were very nervous, but the rest seemed confident. Dipper looked down at the canister, reading the label to make sure it was simply tear gas and not something more dangerous that might have been given to him as some sick joke. Then he pulled the pin and tossed it inside, closing the door and locking it. He leaned against it and waited patiently.

It wasn't long before they began coughing. He heard their boots shuffling around. Seconds passed. More movement, louder noises. They seemed to be realizing this wasn't like what they had encountered in boot camp.

“Sir, I don't think this is CS gas,” someone said, knocking on the door.

“You're right, it isn't,” Dipper replied, examining his nails. He had done some research after talking to Sgt. Godfrey regarding the difference. There wasn't much, but the stuff they were exposed to before had been diluted. This wasn't. “It's pure tear gas.” It wasn't long before the coughing turned to gagging and sneezing. But no one tried to open the door, determined to wait it out.

He waited for about five more seconds, then turned and unlocked the door, going inside to experience it himself. He immediately regretted this decision when the chemical burned his nose and throat the moment he inhaled it, and his sensitive eyes hurt so bad he had to close them, feeling tears run down his cheeks. He coughed and turned toward the wall, leaning against it for support, and heard some of the others laugh at him.

“Pretty intense, right, Captain?”

“Shut up before I make you do push-ups in it,” Dipper managed. His voice rasped, and talking only made the pain sharper. He felt his nose running. But he would have felt like an asshole if he had done this to them without subjecting himself to it as well. He realized the gas was also beginning to hurt his skin, almost as though he had coated himself with IcyHot, and decided it was time to leave. “All right, that's enough, let's get out of it.” He opened the door and stumbled out.

The gas poured out with them as they exited, but soon evaporated in the glare of the Sun. They left the door open so it would clear out. Somehow, Dipper's chest seemed to hurt even more as he gasped, breathing in the clean air. They paced around in circles, coughing and sniffing, slowly managing to open their eyes once more. Dipper motioned for everyone to gather in front of him so he could talk to them.

“Don't touch your eyes with your hands,” he said. “Is everyone okay?” Speaking took a lot of effort, and he coughed after nearly every word, but at least it was understandable.

No one seemed capable of answering at the moment, tears streaming down their faces and mucus dripping from a few noses, but they nodded as they cleared their throats, many shifting around restlessly.

“Good. Now shut the fuck up and listen to me. I will not hear any more bickering from any of you, got it? You're all on one team now. Act like it. Does anyone feel like they need immediate medical attention after this?” No one did. “Okay. If you don't mind, I'd like to get back to the tour. Hua?”

“Hua!” they called back, but not near as strongly as they could have.

The rest of the tour went just fine, with no complaints from anyone. When Dipper turned them over to an older soldier that would be watching after them and getting them situated in their tents, the man nodded with approval to their quick compliance to his orders.

“Did they give you much trouble?”

“They did until I put them in a room and flooded it with tear gas.”

“Ha! I would have smoked them, but that works too! Great thinking, Captain!” He was laughing as he went to help the newcomers unpack, and Dipper laughed too as he walked away. That had been pretty entertaining. And the troops had recovered fast, even commenting that they felt better than before, since the gas had cleared out their sinuses. But while it hadn't really hurt them, they definitely decided that it would be in their best interest to respect their superiors. If one of the humans had no qualms in subjecting them to that, imagine what a demon would do to them.

Dipper took a few minutes to inspect the room he had used. He felt kinda bad about what he had done. But at least he had felt it too, and knew it wasn't that terrible. He should talk to Bill about using that stuff in combat. It would be an excellent way to distract enemy troops. It temporarily blinded them, after all; they couldn't keep their eyes open through that gas unless they were already wearing masks, which they didn't seem to do. So if the enemy was incapacitated like that, it would really turn a battle into their favor.

After using some quick magic to clear away the gas, Dipper closed the door and headed to the chow hall for a much needed dinner. That was quite a day... though he would have still rather spent it with Mabel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd take on the gas chamber again tbh. Yeah it hurts but afterward you are pretty cocky about it, like "Yeah man that wasn't so bad." Plus an added benefit of cleansing your system of mucus. mostly because you violently sneezed and coughed it all out but anyway  
> CS gas isn't as powerful as an irritant as tear gas I'm pretty sure, but like. you know what I'd take that on too I don't give a fuck


	18. Rest and Relaxation

The next morning, Dipper didn't even grab breakfast. He just sprinted into the chow hall and up to the front table, slamming his hands on it and actually startling Bill, who had been absorbed in watching something in his scrying orb.

“Take me home,” Dipper said.

Bill tucked the orb away. “Eager, huh?”

Dipper nodded, grabbing his wrist and pulling him over the table. “Come on, I'm ready to go!”

“Haha, I can see that. You're gonna go home in uniform?”

“I have stuff there I can change into, come on Bill, you promised.”

“Technically I never used the words 'I promise' but... oh, all right. You deserve a break.” Bill slid his hand down to take hold of Dipper's, leading him outside so they had more room. “Now don't expect me to do this entire spell myself. You need to help with the teleportation, all right? You know where we're going. Lead us.”

“Okay. Teleportation, right... I've done it a few times before, it shouldn't be hard.”

“We're going a much greater distance than you're used to, though. All the way to California. So just keep your concentration, don't let your thoughts wander... and let's go.”

Dipper took in a breath as he focused. Maybe he should have had some breakfast; his stomach was queasy with nerves. He felt Bill's fingers squeeze a little more tightly around his, reassuring him. Closing his eyes, Dipper finally allowed magic to flow through him and cast the spell.

He knew he had done it correctly when there was pressure all around him, a sort of swooping sensation in his gut, and a silence so deep it almost hurt his ears... and then the pressure was gone and he could hear wind and the rumbling of cars driving on streets.

Dipper opened his eyes, and immediately recognized his surroundings. He was in his front yard. There was his parents' vehicle. His and Mabel's car. The house was the same as when he left it, same old lawn decorations, same color of grass. Then again, he supposed he hasn't been gone for too terribly long.

Grinning, Dipper turned back to Bill and wrapped him into a hug. “Thank you.”

“Heh.” Bill chuckled and pulled his hat off, ruffling his hair. “No problem. Go have fun, kid. I'll be back to get you... maybe tonight or tomorrow morning. I'll let you know.”

Dipper nodded and let go of him, and Bill handed him his hat. He put it back on and jogged over to the front door. The demon faded quickly into the Mindscape, disappearing from sight... at least to a human. But he continued to float there, watching as Dipper knocked and stood there, anxiously bouncing a leg. Surely there must be a spare key? Why was he knocking? Unless of course his father shared his uncle's affinity for keeping an unnecessary number of rifles in the house, and Dipper was trying not to get shot by just walking in. That could very well be the case.

After a few moments, the door was opened by Mabel. Her face immediately lit up at the sight of her brother, and she leapt forward into his arms with no questions asked. He laughed and spun her around in a circle, face buried against her neck, and Bill was sure that they were both crying. A glow of happiness in his chest, the demon turned and teleported away. He had his own affairs to focus on now.

Not that Bill would burden Dipper with all of his responsibilities, but sometimes he wished he had the human along to help him. A typical day for him first consisted of traveling around the world visiting various bases he had set up and consulting his commanders, seeing what progress they have made since he last spoke with them, and discussing strategies for future conquest. He would also visit the many demonic planes of existence to recruit more of his people onto his side, promising them power and riches, whatever they want, they will be able to obtain it if they swear to fight for him. His influence grew with every passing day, and anyone could see it. So he was always managing to bring new creatures into reality with him, sending them to wherever they were needed based on their skills.

Then, as afternoon set, he would usually be back on Earth and overseeing battles, commanding if needed, and if not, joining in to wreak his own havoc. It was immensely satisfying to unleash his power on pitiful human armies, cutting down their forces with huge walls of fire, making gravity flip itself so they were hurled into the sky and then righting it so they fell to their demise, and if he was feeling particularly vengeful, he would cause their blood to boil right out of their bodies, skin ripping apart, limbs snapping and rendering them unable to even move.

Today was one such day, with Bill assisting in a battle taking place in Europe, where they didn't have as much of a foothold as he would like. But that would change within a few weeks, he was sure. Their enemies fought valiantly, but were soon overrun by superior numbers. Bill was just starting to telekinetically crush the tanks of the German army when he received word that they were surrendering and that the Inspector General, the highest ranking commissioned officer in the country, wished to speak with him to perhaps form a treaty and end this war.

“It's about damn time he agreed to speak with me,” Bill said, dropping the two tanks he had been levitating, not really caring who they landed on. “I'm not signing a treaty, but perhaps I could convince them to finally give up and allow me to take control of this country.” He had already seized leadership of a few other small countries, but the larger ones were putting up quite a fight. It would greatly turn this war in his favor if he owned a large country such as this.

This wasn't really something he particularly enjoyed, but he understood humans, and he knew how to debate with them. Besides... it wasn't like he was bound to any particular laws in regards to war. The Geneva Conventions meant nothing to him. He was a demon, and it was only to be expected that he would play dirty.

He flew down to meet the major general that had lead this particular division, exchanging a few words and mostly adjusting to using German; he hasn't spoken this language in a while. But it came to him easily enough. Compared to some of the other languages he knew, this was a snap. Of course, he wouldn't be meeting the Inspector General here. It would be in an undisclosed location, far from this battlefield, and closer to Berlin. Now there was a city Bill hasn't visited in a while.

As soon as he was informed of the exact location, he grabbed a couple of his more intimidating commanders and teleported there.

The negotiations went great, in his opinion. The humans present did a lot of nervous shuffling and very careful speaking while addressing him, except for the Inspector General himself, who was much more aggressive. Bill was fine with that. He would be insulted otherwise. He simply sat on the other side of the table, listening calmly with his hands folded on the table, watching the man without blinking. Soon enough, his attitude unnerved the other, and he fell silent. At which point Bill laid out, quite politely except for his threatening undertone, that he intended on placing himself at the lead of every government on the planet, and those who would try to stop him would be swiftly and mercilessly destroyed. His forces were endless, he explained. There were more demons than there were humans. And even humans were joining him, making his numbers even larger. In the end, they would win. So the humans loyal to Earth might as well save themselves and give up. Let Bill have what he wants, and they don't have to be harmed. As much.

Of course humans didn't like to give up. The debating still went on for hours, until Bill bluntly threatened to kill the Federal President. In public, and messily, claiming the role for himself and killing any who oppose. It wasn't much longer until he was told they would allow him to take this to the government, and he could try to convince the chancellor and president to stand down. It was between him and parliament now; the army would not oppose.

It was with pride that Bill agreed. Finally, he was getting somewhere. He offered his hand, but no one wanted to shake on it. None of the humans seemed to want to touch him. He didn't blame them. So he rose from his chair and left, with his commanders following right behind him. The last one in line slammed the door behind them.

“Good touch,” Bill said.

“Thanks, boss. Now what? You gonna go meet with those parliament people?”

“Eh, I'll do that tomorrow. It's been quite a day already... I think I'm gonna go back to the New Mexico base. Unless any of you need me elsewhere?”

None of them did, so Bill dismissed them and went his own separate way. He traveled back to the camp in New Mexico, greeting his troops and checking in on how the day's raid went. It took up even more of his time organizing the supplies and then distributing them as needed, but finally he was able to take a break. He was halfway to Dipper's tent before he remembered that he wasn't here right now. He considered going to get him, then decided against it. From what he could tell through the mental link he shared with Dipper, the human was having fun, eating dinner with his family and telling stories. His entire day has been relaxed. Nearly every time Bill had checked in on him, Dipper had been reclining on a sofa, or laying on the floor, or otherwise doing absolutely nothing productive. Bill supposed he had earned the right to be lazy.

It was nice, seeing Dipper so calm and happy. Much better than seeing him stressed out. Bill really should let him go home more often.

When Bill settled into his usual seat in the chow hall to watch over his troops and talk to the higher ranks that sat near him, he heard Dipper's thoughts, directed at him.

_How was your day?_

Bill hadn't been expecting him to speak to him. He responded, _Busy, as usual. Yours?_

_My day was awesome. I took a shower with privacy, and could take all the time I wanted... I've been snacking and talking to my family and just hanging out... it's so nice and quiet here. Not as exciting as being at the camp, but I kinda like it._

_Sounds nice. I nearly conquered Germany today._

_Oh sweet, really? That's impressive._

_Yep. I'm gonna go finish things up tomorrow. That'll be a huge victory for us, having access to all their resources. And just you wait. Soon enough I'll have all the big powers eating out the palm of my hand. No one will be able to oppose me, I'll have absolute control over this world!_

_Boy, I'm almost afraid to think of what things will be like with you in charge... but you'll keep me safe, right?_

_Of course I will. You and your family. And as long as humans respect me, and don't try to resist... I'll treat them well. But I think ritual sacrifice will resume. Nothing big... goats and cows, ya know. Maybe give me some gold every once in a while... and there will still be those who insist on summoning us, so I'll take advantage of those poor fools as well. Haha, everything is working out in my favor._

_So I guess demons will just kinda become a normal thing on Earth after this... They'll be taking whatever they want from us too, won't they?_

_Most likely. I'll try to keep them in check though. I don't want them running around killing you guys. Very counterproductive. Hey, don't worry about the particulars. I'll handle all that. You just fight for me, and you'll be taken care of._

_Okay... Oh, I'm gonna put in a movie, I gotta go. See you... whenever._

_I might be there tomorrow. I don't know. You seem to be enjoying yourself so... I'll let you stay a while longer, all right?_

Dipper's joy could be felt all the way through their bond. _Thanks, Bill!_

_No problem. You have fun. Talk to you later._

_Yeah, talk to you later!_

Bill pulled his mind away, focusing in on the people around him again. These conversations didn't really interest him. He wasn't sure why. Maybe he was just tired after such a long day. Well, not exactly 'tired'... he didn't get tired. But burnt out, perhaps? As he spoke to the demon sitting at his left, he finally figured out what it was. He missed having Dipper leaning over to join in the conversation, offering his own perspective, giving advice that usually turned out to be helpful, as the human simply thought differently from them and could come up with solutions they couldn't.

Finally, Bill decided he needed a change of scene. Dipper wasn't the only one who craved downtime to just relax and do absolutely nothing. The dream demon got up from the table after only about thirty minutes, claiming that he had to check on something, and promptly teleported away. He returned to his own tent, and there he jumped into the Mindscape and manipulated it, bringing up an image of Dipper. He watched him, smiling at the way the boy laughed at the cheesy cartoon movie, and leaned against his mother, who had her arm around his shoulders. He had changed into a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt, and looked so at ease.

Bill watched him for the rest of the evening, until he yawned and said that he kinda wanted to go to sleep. His parents nodded and wished him goodnight, and Mabel gladly walked with him all the way to their bedrooms, where she hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek before finally letting him go into his room.

And even then, she went to her room only briefly to grab a pillow before running into Dipper's and hitting him with it, leading to the two having a pillow fight that had Bill laughing to watch. Those twins really were inseparable. And to think that he had once questioned the strength of their bond...

Eventually, Mabel said goodnight for real and returned to her room, and Dipper was able to sink onto his bed, stretching out and sighing. Bill let the image fade, instead merely talking to Dipper telepathically.

_Going to bed now?_

_Yep. I've missed this old bed._

_I bet you have. Bigger than the one you have here, isn't it?_

_Definitely. I still have pajamas here and everything. I'm putting on these pants right now, Mabel got them for me one year for Christmas. They're really soft and covered with pictures of aliens. Isn't that cute?_

_Sounds like it. Mind if I stop by?_

_Uh... sure, go ahead. I can't stop you._

_You sure can't. Be there in a flash._ And sure enough, when Bill teleported himself there and entered reality, he made sure it was in a bright flash of light.

Dipper squinted and shielded his face, then smiled when the demon came into view. “What's the matter, couldn't go for more than a day without seeing me?”

Bill scoffed, crossing his arms as he floated closer. “No, I went for years without seeing you before, it's no big deal to me, I just... well, kinda wanted to get away from the camp, and this seemed as good a place as any, and... stop grinning at me like that.”

Dipper laughed and sat back down on the bed, now wearing the aforementioned alien pajama pants. Bill had to admit, that was kinda cute. “Okay, Bill, I get it. You want to relax. I don't blame you. But all I'm doing right now is going to sleep, and I know you don't need to do that, so...”

“Oh that's fine, I'll just sit here and meditate.” Bill sat on the bed next to him, reclining back and crossing a leg over the other. It was kind of ridiculous-looking, actually.

Dipper snorted and swung his legs up, getting under the covers. “Cool, well, could you turn your glow down or something? You're really bright.”

Bill rolled his eye, but his aura dimmed. He moved a bit closer to Dipper, watching him get comfortable, and reached out to adjust the blanket a bit. The human smiled, and catching himself, he yanked his hands back.

“I know you don't really feel warmth or anything in your natural form, but... if you wanna get under the covers too, you can,” Dipper offered.

Bill gave him a look. “What point would that serve?”

“I don't know, but I know you like being close to me, so...” Dipper shrugged and lifted the blanket. “If you want.”

“Do you want me to cuddle with you?”

Dipper blinked at him, then blushed. The room may have been dark but Bill could see the pink dusting his cheeks just fine. “I mean, I wouldn't call it cuddling, you're a triangle and you've got pointy sides and all but... you _are_ pretty warm and... uh... I do kinda like holding you... God Bill why do you have to make things so awkward?”

Bill laughed and got up, slipping easily underneath the blanket. “The only one making things awkward here is you.” He reached out an arm, setting it over Dipper's side, watching his face carefully. Then he commented, “Your face is getting so red right now, it's adorable.”

Dipper's skin twitched at his touch, and the boy stammered, “Well I'm uh... not really used to having anyone in my bed with me, but...” His arm draped over Bill, shifting a bit before finding a comfortable position, and then pulling the demon closer. “I trust you.”

“Good, I would expect you to.” Bill felt the human curl up around him, and closed his eye, feeling strangely content.

Dipper slowly relaxed, becoming more comfortable with having the demon snuggled up to him, and he stroked his side. “Is this okay? Are you comfortable?”

“Dipper, I feel fine. I don't have much of a sense of touch in this body. I'm good with this.”

“Oh. And you also don't sleep, right?”

“Nope.”

“So you'll probably get bored of just laying here. So you don't have to stay, you can leave whenever.”

“I won't be bored. I have plenty of things I can think about while you sleep. Don't worry about me. I like being with you regardless of what we're doing.”

That just made Dipper blush more. “And... I like being with you too.” He seemed like he wanted to say more, but didn't, just resting his forehead over Bill's eye and enjoying the warmth of him. He let out a sigh as the other scooted even closer, both arms slipping around his middle.

Bill had expected that to be the end of the conversation, but after a few minutes, Dipper spoke to him again.

“If you ever find a suitable vessel... think we could cuddle then? I just... really like being with you like this.”

“Of course we could. I would love to. I've snuggled with others before while using a physical body, and it is wonderful. And I think it would be even better with you, considering the bond we already have.”

“Cool. Just wondering. Heh... so what would you call the bond between us?”

“I don't think labels are really necessary. I like you. I want to keep you safe, and I enjoy our conversations. I admire your strength and I see a lot of potential for you. I want you to be the best you can be. I want to see you as a general one day. Leading thousands into battle. You will be glorious. And hopefully by then, I'll have a human vessel, and I can run alongside you. Hands clasped, united in our cause.”

Dipper's heart pounded, so many feelings running through him, none of which he knew how to explain. But he got the feeling Bill could sense them, because the demon softly rubbed his back, and added, “I appreciate you so much, Dipper Pines. Never doubt what you mean to me.”

“You're really sappy tonight, Cipher,” Dipper said, though the other's words made his chest feel all warm and fuzzy.

“Heh, maybe I am. Good thing then that this is just between us. You're mine anyway... I can speak to you however I want.”

“Hm. Yeah, you can. But I like when we're talking like this. Personal, and...” Dipper trailed off, not sure how Bill would respond to the word he wanted to say.

But Bill could read his mind, and also had no shame. “Intimate?”

Dipper exhaled, flushing with embarrassment. “Yeah.”

“I like it too. I like when we're honest with each other. It means a lot to me, when you trust me of your own free will and not because you feel like you have to. Hey kid, I can tell you're tired. Your thoughts are going a thousand miles an hour. You need to just go to sleep and mull things over later. All right?”

“I'm not that tired,” Dipper lied.

“Uh-huh, and I'm not a demon. Go to sleep, Captain. You've earned a nice, long rest without being woken up by that obnoxious music in the morning.”

That sounded wonderful. Dipper was already closing his eyes, smiling a bit at the thought. He could sense Bill's magic drifting around him, removing all the tension from his muscles, making him feel completely at ease. That would be his sleep magic.

“We'll talk more in the morning,” Dipper vowed, voice slurring.

“Of course we will, kid.” Bill waited for him to fall asleep, then let his own form relax, slumping against him. He couldn't sleep, but he could certainly get comfortable while he meditated. Besides, even without a normal sense of touch, he could still feel their energies mingling together, and that was nice in its own way. “We'll talk about whatever you want.” Oh, why did that boy have to be so charming?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now I can add German military structure to the "List of Random Things I've Had to Research For the Sake of Writing"  
> also, triangle snuggling. *slams hands down* MORE TRIANGLE SNUGGLING DAMMIT.


	19. You Like Him, Don't You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha this almost didn't get done today but I pulled through in the nick of time. Sorry if I worried anyone. Enjoy~

Dipper was incredibly comfortable when he woke up the next morning, well before sunrise. He opened his eyes partway to a dark room and sighed, smiling lazily as he remembered that he wasn’t at the camp. No training to do… he could just go right back to sleep. And he did, snuggling up with the warm object in front of him.

...Wait, that wasn’t an object.

“Bill?” he slurred, blinking at the soft yellow glow of the other.

“Yeah, kid? Good morning.”

“Good morning. Have you been here all night?”

Bill’s arms were loose around Dipper’s middle, but he tightened his hold and hummed. “Pretty much. I’ve just been thinking about things, didn’t realize hours had passed. Time goes so fast for you mortals.”

Dipper shifted his arms a bit and winced; one was sore from being slung over Bill’s side for so long. He tucked his arms in against his chest instead. He was still so warm that it didn’t really matter. “I figured you would have headed out to do something by now. You’re always so busy, after all.”

“Nothing is so important that I can’t spend some time with my favorite human. I like being around you, Dipper. Even if you are just sleeping.” Bill began stroking his hair. “I get to see you all relaxed and happy when you’re asleep. It’s a pleasant change.”

“I’m happy when I’m awake too, you know,” Dipper huffed. But Bill’s gentle touch had his eyelids drooping, head leaning in.

“Rarely,” Bill chuckled. “You should smile more. You’ve got a mouth, use it.”

“I’ll smile if I have a reason to.”

“Doesn’t the very fact that you exist fill you with indescribable joy? I know I’m happy to exist! If I had a mouth I wouldn’t stop smiling!”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Dipper muttered, remembering when Bill had possessed his body years ago. He had a wide grin on his face nearly the entire time.

“But I can understand that it’d get tiresome after a while. Painful even. But hey, it’s fun to joke around and smile every once in a while.” Bill was casually twisting locks of Dipper’s hair around each other now, making tiny braids.

“Yeah. It definitely is.” Dipper’s eyes drifted closed.

“Just kick back and enjoy life. You’re smart and talented, but you don’t have to work hard all the time.”

“I have to work hard. I have to survive.” Dipper’s chest still hurt sometimes. And his feet were sore too, blistered from all the running he had done in his boots days ago. And he would have to do it all again one day, as soon as Bill needed him to.

“You certainly do. But I’ll watch after you. You’ll survive. When you’re not fighting or training, though… just relax. Do something fun, work through your stress, do whatever you have to do.”

Dipper nodded a bit, sighing as Bill dropped his hands and wrapped his arms around him. His thoughts wandered back to the camp in New Mexico. “So uh… Pavonis has been pretty nice to me.”

“Yeah he can be a real sweetheart. Despite his many bedfellows, he has few true friends who appreciate his company and actually enjoy talking to him. You’re one such person. He adores you.”

“He does talk to me a lot. He’s really interesting.”

“Yeah, he is. And quite the personality he has, too. Very confident and energetic. He was never able to be himself as a human, but demonhood has really freed him.”

Dipper nodded. “Yeah.” He chewed on his lip as he mulled over his next question. At any other time he probably wouldn't ask this, but he was sleepy and cozy and it just kinda slipped out, “What’s he like in bed?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he blushed deeply, and started to stutter out an excuse or apology, but Bill's unreadable stare was enough to make him fall silent, fidgeting.

Bill didn't speak for few moments, just looking at him. Then he said, “Enthusiastic and vocal, and more than willing to follow your lead. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know, I just…” Dipper shrugged a shoulder, aimlessly gesturing with his hands. Bill watched his blush spread. “You know he flirts with me and stuff and I was just… wondering…” He had no idea why he was still talking, and quickly closed his mouth, wanting to just slip under the covers and disappear forever.

Luckily, Bill didn't seem bothered by the topic. “You like him, don’t you?”

“He’s a very good friend to me and I just… I was maybe… considering indulging him…” Feeling Bill’s shoulders shaking, Dipper slapped his hat off. “Stop laughing at me!”

Bill laughed out loud. “Sorry, Dipper, it’s just too cute! Your little crush on the star is just the sweetest thing! You really are hopeless.” Bill ruffled his hair.

“I know he doesn’t care about romance, but I thought maybe it’d be fun to… I mean you just told me to have fun, relieve stress, and I could do that with him! I just… I’m curious.” Dipper sighed. He was pathetic.

Bill dropped his hand, patting Dipper’s shoulder. “It’s fine, I totally get it. Thank you for being honest with me. If you want to get intimate with him, I’m not gonna tell you not to. It would be fun for you. I’m sure you’re frustrated.”

Dipper’s face was still pretty red, but he admitted, “Yeah.”

“Pavonis is a delight in bed. Trust me, he’ll make you feel very comfortable, you’ll hardly be nervous. I encourage you to go for it.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Not at all. Why would I?”

“Well… because you and I… I mean, I really like you, and you seem to like me back, I just thought you wouldn’t want me…” Dipper sighed. “Never mind. I’m overthinking things.”

“You certainly are. Dipper, I like you a lot. But I get that you’re human, and you have your own needs that I simply can’t help you with. Take care of things however you need to. I don’t care. It’s your body.”

Dipper felt really awkward, but also relieved. “Thanks, Bill.”

“Mhm. Don’t mention it. Wow, I should talk to you when you’re all tired and cozy more often, you admit to all kinds of crazy things.”

“I tend to ramble when I get comfortable with someone,” Dipper confessed. “Like you’re always ready to listen to me, and I like that about you, I think of you as my best friend.”

“Best? Aw, I’m flattered.”

“Don’t let it go to your head. Wendy is still my number one best friend. Actually, she’s second… Mabel is the absolute best friend I could ever have. But… you rank close to them.”

“Heh. I’ll take it. I wouldn’t expect you to be closer to anyone than to your twin. You two have a special bond. I won’t try to beat it. Still, third place ain’t bad with all the people you know.” Bill began running his fingers along Dipper’s bicep. “Maybe I’ll beat out Wendy one day.”

“I doubt it.”

“Heh. But I have your trust. I’m one of your confidants. Thank you for that.”

“You’re in my head all the time anyway. You can read my thoughts. I might as well tell you everything.”

“True. But it means more if you choose to tell me. Go back to sleep, you seem tired still.”

“I could get up.”

“Nonsense, the Sun hasn’t risen, which means humans like you should stay in bed until it does. I’ll let you in on a secret.” He leaned in close, and Dipper tilted his head curiously. In a whisper, Bill said, “It’s like 3 AM, go the fuck to sleep.”

Dipper laughed and laid his head down. “Okay, wow, why am I even awake. Goodnight, Bill.”

“Goodnight, kid.”

“Can I expect you to still be here when I wake up next time?”

“Probably.”

“Cool. Okay, goodnight again.”

Bill helped Dipper to fall asleep again, and then reflected on their conversation. So Dipper thought of him as a best friend. And he was quickly taking to Pavonis as well. Seemed the human just had a weakness for demons. Not that it was surprising. Demons naturally intrigued and attracted humans. It wasn’t so surprising that Dipper liked him so much.

He hadn’t lied when he said it was fine if Dipper wanted to sleep with Pavonis, but he had to admit, he was a little jealous. Of who, he wasn’t exactly sure. He has slept with Pavonis, as he hinted to Dipper before. It was a fun experience, the younger demon had been eager and obedient, and both had a good time. Unfortunately, the human vessel Bill had used was only on loan to him, and he had to give it back to its spirit eventually. That had been a couple hundred years ago.

Pavonis had been a little nervous simply because of Bill’s age and power, but he had quickly gotten over it. No, Bill wouldn’t mind getting with him again, and he was a little jealous Dipper would get to experience him.

But Bill also found himself wishing he was in Pavonis’s place. He was attached to Dipper. He liked being around him, his intelligence and drive were attractive, and he would enjoy more physical intimacy with him. He just needed a damn body.

Bill sighed and closed his eye. He really was falling for this human. It wasn’t the first time he’s fallen in love in his many years of existence, but it was always a surprise when he did. Shouldn’t he have moved beyond this by now? He has existed since before living creatures ever understood the concept of love. Yet he himself fell victim to it. Maybe it really was its own magic.

The demon mulled over things for the rest of the night, until the sun rose and he could hear other members of the household shifting around and getting up. Dipper slept on, oblivious.

Sensing Mabel outside the door, Bill lifted from the bed and winked out of reality, hiding instead in the Mindscape. He floated out of view, watching as Mabel swung the door open and ran in, practically tackling her brother. “Wake up, we’re gonna go have a pancake breakfast to celebrate your visit!”

Dipper grunted, still groggy with sleep, but his arms came up to wrap around her, and he smiled when her nose booped against his. “I was asleep, Mabel.”

“Well you aren’t anymore. Pancakes, Dipper! Get dressed!”

“Heh, okay, just let me check in with the boss.” Dipper glanced around, realizing Bill wasn’t with him. He opened his mind. _Can I stay longer to go to breakfast with my family?_

 _Absolutely. Have fun,_ Bill replied.

Dipper looked at Mabel. “All right, I can go.”

“Great!” She moved back so he could sit up, and her eyes scanned over him as the blanket fell down. “Oh man, you’re really bruised up. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’ve got lots of scars. It’ll heal.” He got up, stretching as he tried to work through the usual morning stiffness in his torso. He twisted his upper body from side to side, feeling bones pop. It hurt, but felt better afterward. He murmured a healing spell to take away the pain, and then smiled at Mabel. “I’m okay. It all comes with the job.”

“I hope you don’t get badly hurt. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t lose me. I’m taken care of out there. Bill has trained me and everyone else very well.” Dipper smiled when Mabel latched onto his arm.

“It doesn’t matter how much you train, if you get hit by a grenade or something, that’s it, game over.”

“I have good situational awareness. I can watch for those and avoid them. Come on, Mabel, I’ll be fine.”

She nodded a bit, letting go of him. “Okay. Yeah, I believe in you.”

He ruffled her hair, and walked out with her.

Bill watched them go, intense but recognizable emotion shooting through him. No doubt about it... Bill has fallen for him, and fallen hard. But that was fine. It wasn't going to cause any problems for him. Dipper felt the same for him. They would still reach their goal, and they would do it together. The chaos they will spread will be perfect. If Bill was gonna conquer the world, might as well do it with someone he loved.

He teleported to the main demon training base, seeking out the various instructors and gathering them into a group to address them. It was time to step up their training regiment even more. No serious harm would come to his human. Mabel didn't want to lose Dipper, and neither did he. Dipper was too valuable, he had so much potential, he was smart and sweet and Bill would do everything to keep him from dying a premature death. And he would make sure all his troops knew exactly how to protect him. He would gladly allow any of them to sacrifice themselves, so long as Dipper lived.


	20. Just Do It

As fun as it was being back with his family, Dipper couldn't stay with them forever. After spending a few hours with them in the morning, Bill told him that it was time to return to his base. While Dipper wasn't ready to return to any kind of combat operation, he could certainly put his organization skills to the test and help catalog and redistribute the various supplies they've stolen, or he could train newcomers, or even just help Bill with negotiations and strategies. But he'll definitely let him come visit again some time.

With a heavy heart, Dipper said goodbye to everyone. He pulled his uniform back on, gave everyone hugs, and listened to their advice and wishes. He told them that he would try to find information on Ford and let them know if he was okay. But he assured them that Ford was probably fine. If Bill hasn't heard anything then he was definitely not in trouble.

Finally, Dipper walked outside, and Bill manifested in reality to take his hand. The demon had him whisked away before his family could even look out the window.

Dipper let out an audible sigh when he arrived back in the camp. As much as he enjoyed the relationship he and Bill have formed in the past weeks, he hated everything else he had to do. He didn't support this war, he would probably never support it. But he was sworn to follow Bill, so he would help him with whatever he asked.

He got back into the swing of things fairly quickly, though he still hated waking up to that annoying music every morning. But he had to deal with it; when he asked Bill to change it, he was instead woken up by Disco Girl. And not just any recording of Disco Girl, but a cover _he_ had sang when he was twelve. How the hell did Bill even get access to that? Of course he asked that Reveille be reinstated as the morning song.

It wasn't such a bad life he supposed. When there was no battle to fight or training to do, it was actually pretty boring. Dipper ended up spending a lot of time just sitting at tables with Bill and having long military-related discussions with him, usually with his phone out so he could Google information to help with their planning. They made a lot of progress. Rank structure, for both officer and enlisted, put into place. Their own code of standards. Refining their methods of recruiting both humans and demons onto their side. The various levels of magical augmentation that humans could receive upon joining, depending on their previous rank (if military) or general profession (if civilian). It was important, if tedious, work.

Also, when they were alone and not with Bill's advisers, they would have much more personal talks, discussing their own relationship. It was fairly awkward for Dipper, while Bill just seemed to want to be honest so neither of them were left guessing things and making assumptions. It was only after being back for about two days that Bill took Dipper's hands in his, pulled him close, and admitted, “I love you.”

Dipper was speechless for several moments. And then his face broke into a huge grin, and with tears in his eyes, he embraced the other. “I love you too!” He spun in a circle, swinging Bill around with him.

“I was expecting you to say 'disgusting',” Bill laughed.

“Why would I do that? You're wonderful, I mean we have our ups and downs and if you had told me that months ago I probably would have said you disgust me but... a lot has changed, we've gotten to know each other really well and we've done so much bonding and... I totally fell for you, it's good to know that you fell too.”

“Yep. I figured it was time I told you. And you feel the same, so... this works out, doesn't it?”

“Yeah. It does.” Dipper loosened his hold, but he still held Bill's hands and just smiled at him, heart pounding and butterflies in his stomach. Maybe their relationship didn't have the best start. But they worked through that. It told him that they could get through anything, and that was healthy, right? Bill respected him, he always tried to stop doing things that made Dipper uncomfortable, he may be a chaotic demon but he really did have love in him and if he chose to share it, Dipper wasn't going to reject it. Things would be fine.

Dipper stood there quietly for a few moments, just gazing at Bill, who floated calmly in front of him. Neither made any move to pull their hands away from each other. Then Dipper leaned in to press a kiss under Bill's eye.

The demon jerked back, letting go of one of Dipper's hands to touch the spot. His entire form flashed pink for a moment. “What was that?” he demanded.

“A kiss,” Dipper replied, blushing.

“...Why?”

“It just felt right, I don't know. Isn't that how romance works or something?”

Bill stared, then blinked, lower eyelid raising in a smile. “I suppose so. I'm afraid I can't kiss you back, though.”

“Not with that attitude.”

“I can't even really feel this, I mean it's the thought that counts, but as I've told you, no nerve endings. I don't feel sensation like you can unless I get a vessel.”

“But you blushed. Or whatever.”

“It's the thought that counts,” Bill repeated, and dropped his arms. There was a growing pink spot under his eye. Was he getting flustered?

Dipper chuckled. “Yeah, it is. So kiss me back. You're a shapeshifter, I'm sure you've got something up your sleeve.”

“I don't have sleeves. But okay, if you insist.” Bill closed his eye, and his eyelids puckered out like lips. The unexpected sight had Dipper reeling back.

“What the-”

“Well Dipper, you asked for me to kiss you, and I was gonna kiss you. Get back here.”

“That's creepy.” Dipper stepped closer, and Bill actually wrapped an arm around his lower back and dipped him, an action that had the hopeless romantic nearly swooning right out of his grip and onto the floor. As it was, he was a  _bit_ more reserved than that, so he simply smiled and lifted his head to kiss the other's “lips”. It was nothing like what he imagined actual lips felt like, they were smooth and warm but definitely not organic in any way, feeling more like he was kissing sculpted clay. Still, it was the thought that counted. He leaned back after a moment. “Good enough.”

Bill blinked his eye open. “Any more ridiculous requests for me to sprout new body parts?”

“No, I think I'm good. I'll just uh... wait for you to get a vessel. Whenever that'll be.”

“Fair enough. Now, enough of the romantic crap, hm? Why don't we get back to work.” Bill let him straighten up, and sat back down at the table.

Dipper's mind was far from doing work right now, but he nodded and sat next to him once more. “Right. Let's get to it.” Luckily, the warm glow in his chest made it that much easier to bear.

And so time passed. Dipper's sternum healed up fairly quickly, and after a couple weeks, he was able to get back to physical conditioning. It would only hurt if he twisted his body in certain ways, and he was sure even that would go away soon.

He made quite a few friends, mostly demon, some human. The atmosphere here was very supportive and respectful. But he quickly gained a reputation for being very intimidating if pushed to it, and even had to assert rank over others on several occasions, yelling at them when they were particularly defiant or just behaving foolishly. But he'd rather be seen as an asshole than as a weak fool. He was never giving anyone a reason to abuse him again. He still shuddered thinking about the assault from his first day of training. Not to mention, news about his relationship with Bill got out pretty quickly, and everyone pretty much decided they didn't want to piss off the trillion-year-old powerful dream demon by hurting his boyfriend.

But there was one person who, besides Bill, would always be his best friend here.

The plucky psychic demon Pavonis.

Dipper was still trying to figure out exactly how he wanted to go about telling him that he wanted to sleep with him. It should have been easy, just actually respond to his flirting, but every time Pavonis made a suggestive comment, Dipper found himself just nervously laughing it off. This was difficult, how did people actually do one-night stands? How does that whole friends-with-benefits thing start? Was that actually a thing that happened? Or was it just a myth perpetuated by Hollywood?

Pavonis was great. He was fun and charismatic and Dipper really was attracted to that, not so much romantically, but he certainly wouldn't mind getting more intimate with him, he just had to get brave enough to actually  _ask_ him! It wasn't like Pavonis would make fun of him, the other would probably be more than happy to agree, it's what he wanted. It was what he's been hinting at for quite some time now. But... Dipper just wasn't good at this stuff.

“You have to just go for it,” Bill advised. It had been many days of him listening to Dipper's internal struggle before he finally just decided to help him. Bill was starting to have second hand embarrassment over watching Dipper flounder and was going to put a stop to it. “Just get all close to him, smile, and tell him that yes, you want to sleep with him. Easy. He won't make fun of you, he'll probably grin and hug you and want to get right to it. But he'll also take things slow if you need. He's very respectful. So just do it. Otherwise, stop thinking about it so much, it's starting to bore me.”

“Well then stay out of my head,” Dipper muttered, but he gave the other a thankful hug, and left with a resolution to tell Pavonis the next time he had some alone time with him.

That time ended up coming much sooner than expected, literally that afternoon, as Dipper went to the weapons pavilion to clean his M16 after target practice and found a familiar redhead waiting there with a gun slung over his own shoulder.

“Where did you get that?” Dipper said as he reached a table and set his gun down, beginning to disassemble it.

“Well it's the funniest thing, one of the humans who just got done shooting said he would much rather take a shower so he'd have more time to eat dinner, and he didn't want to have to clean his gun and waste time. So I told him I'd clean it for him, since I knew you would be coming over here.”

“That's so considerate.” Dipper opened the bag that contained brushes and various other tools needed for cleaning.

“I know, I'm great. Besides, I don't have any problem with rubbing things with lubricant, haha!” Pavonis nudged him and set the small bottle of oil on the table, and began taking apart his own weapon.

Dipper laughed. Already getting started with the flirting. Unfortunately, he didn't know how to turn that one into a suggestion that they sleep together. He'll probably get a chance soon, though.

Dipper leaned against Pavonis a bit as he cleaned out his rifle. It really was sweet that the other would agree to do someone's work for them just to spend time with him. But as minutes passed, Dipper never really found a good opportunity to turn the other's jokes around into an agreement. Surprisingly, Pavonis talked about mission-related stuff, such as the scouting that he sometimes had to do, and his training. So Dipper decided that he would just have to ask him directly.

“So,” Dipper said casually.

“So?” Pavonis replied, body naturally leaning back against Dipper.

“I’ve been thinking, and um… you know how you keep suggesting we do things?”

Pavonis turned to look at him. “Right, sorry, it just kinda slips out around people I like, but if you want me to stop, then-”

“I want to do it.”

Pavonis nearly dropped his rifle. He fumbled and caught it, and when he looked back at Dipper, his face was glowing. “Really?”

Dipper nodded, fingers suddenly shaky. He put down the small part he was cleaning and began reassembling the bolt carrier, now that it was freshly cleaned and oiled. “I’ve thought about it, and yeah. I think it’d be fun.”

Pavonis quickly began putting his own gun back together. “Yeah, sure! I would love to!” He snapped the upper and lower halves of the gun together, pushed the pins into place to keep it together, and gave it a final examination.

“I’m sure you would,” Dipper teased. He was trying to stay light about it, not overthink things. Bill had said that Pavonis was good at making his partner feel comfortable. So there was no need to be nervous.

Pavonis leaned against him more, arm draping around his neck. “Well what can I say, I’ve admired you since the day we met.”

“Two weeks ago,” Dipper replied.

“Haha, yeah… I liked you immediately. You’re handsome and smart and kind… I love that about you. Also, you’re strong and muscular, I’m pretty into that.”

“I like your honesty.” Dipper finished putting his rifle together and gave it a final wipe-down. Then he stood, slipping his arm around Pavonis’s waist. It was nice, he realized. And the demon grinned and leaned against him, his own arm remaining over Dipper’s shoulders.

“Well, let me give this thing back to its owner…” Pavonis closed his eyes for a moment, focusing. Then the weapon blinked out of view.

Dipper, meanwhile, picked up his by the carrying handle. “Well, wanna get to it after dinner? The rest of my evening is free.”

“Hm, yeah, I was gonna work on refining this particular piece of magic I know, but I can do that any time. After dinner sounds great!”

“Heh, it’s kinda like a date, huh?” Dipper joked as he walked out, with the other still attached to his side. It occurred to him that Pavonis was just a little bit shorter than him. It was especially noticeable with the other leaning into him as they walked.

“Guess so. Never cared much for that, but I like when my partner treats me to dinner first, haha.” Pavonis playfully slapped his chest.

“So you’re not romantic yourself, but you like things that are typically seen as romantic?”

“Yep. I don’t fall in love. I just don’t. But I like kissing, I like cuddling, I like holding hands. Because of the physical sensations. I like the intimacy. I just don’t do it out of love.”

“Makes sense.” Dipper first went to his tent to put down his gun, then they headed to the chow hall.

“You aren’t in love with me, are you?” Pavonis asked.

“No. I mean, I had a brief crush on you… and I still think you’re really sweet and funny and attractive, but… I get that you would never feel for me what I could feel for you. So no, I’m not in love with you. I’m not gonna set myself up for disappointment.”

“Good. I mean, it’s really awkward for me, when someone actually romantically loves me and I don’t feel the same, it’s just like… oh boy this is gonna ruin our friendship, isn’t it? Dipper, we’re gonna still be friends, right?”

“Of course. It’s because you’re such a good friend that I feel comfortable doing this. I trust you.”

Pavonis beamed at him. Dipper was used to his sharp teeth by now. “I’m glad. Relax, this will be fun. You’ll see.”

They sat together to eat, rather than Dipper sitting at the front table with Bill. He caught his commander’s eye from across the room and gave him a wink. Bill responded with a thumbs up and an encouraging thought.  _ Show him a great time. You both deserve it. _

Dipper and Pavonis talked as they ate, discussing strategy and future plans for battles. There was intel about the US military making another move against them soon. The demon army had claimed the nearby base and secured it for themselves, but apparently the US wanted to send in Marines to attempt to take it back. Possibly to distract from a secondary attack on this base, which would come primarily from the air. They may be seeing bombers soon. But Bill had excellent security set up for miles around, in both air and on the ground. Nothing would happen without them knowing.

Once finished with dinner, Dipper and Pavonis got up and headed out. Dipper again slid his arm around the other’s waist, just getting used to being close to him and touching him. Pavonis was more than okay with it. And so they stayed for the rest of the walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut in the next one, guys. You should be able to skip it if you don't want that and not lose out on any plot. For those who will be reading it, I hope you enjoy. And plot should certainly be starting up again after that one, I promise.


	21. Indulgence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is Dipper/Pavonis smut. If you don't want to read it, you don't have to; you won't miss any plot. Otherwise, have fun, guys.

When the pair reached Dipper’s tent, the human gratefully took off his uniform top, setting it aside. Hat was tossed onto his desk, and he stretched, sighing out.

Pavonis separated from him, stepping out of his shoes. Dipper sat down to pull his boots and socks off, and by the time he looked up, Pavonis had already tugged off his shirt.

Dipper swallowed as he looked him over. He had good muscle tone. All for looks, he was a demon so his strength was supernatural, but it was still attractive.

“Nervous?” Pavonis asked, stepping close to him.

“A little,” Dipper admitted, blushing. At least he wasn’t fidgeting, though.

“No need for that. Just relax. This will be fun.” Pavonis smiled at him, and Dipper tugged his belt open and untucked his shirt, pulling it off and tossing it to join his top on the footlocker. The demon’s hands rested on his shoulders, massaging gently. Dipper relaxed at the sensation, and Pavonis moved even closer. The psychic tilted his head, voice dropping to a whisper. “Can I kiss you?”

Dipper’s heart pounded. He wanted to, gods he wanted to, the other was so respectful and desirable and he just wanted to kiss him so bad, but he was too nervous to make the first move. So he just nodded his assent.

Pavonis slid a hand up to stroke his hair, and when Dipper thoughtlessly leaned into the touch, the other pressed their lips together.

It was awkward, Dipper’s breath caught and his lips moved out of surprise, before closing, then slowly opening again; he didn’t know what to do, but he kinda liked the tingling sensation. This was much different from when he had kissed Bill. In a good way.

Pavonis just laughed and separated from him, and Dipper smiled a bit. At least the other was a good sport about it. “Okay, let’s try that again. Tilt your head the other way from me, open your lips slightly…” He kissed him again, nice and slow, giving him time to adjust and get used to it.

Dipper’s eyes slipped closed, hands coming up to rest on the other’s waist. He leaned in, responding to the soft pressure of Pavonis’s lips against his. This was nice. He liked how this felt.

“That’s better,” Pavonis murmured to him. His green eyes searched Dipper’s. The human could actually see himself reflected in the other’s eyes. They were so close. “If this bothers you, tell me.” He climbed onto Dipper’s lap, legs straddling him.

Dipper flushed, hands lifting from his waist before setting back down, thumbs rubbing curiously against warm skin.

Pavonis dropped a hand, exploring over Dipper’s chest, down to his stomach, brushing over the sparse hairs that were just above his waistband. “Doing all right?”

“Yeah,” Dipper replied. “I’m good.” He did feel pretty comfortable. Nothing was going too fast. He liked the pressure of the other on him. He kinda wanted to get his pants off. The material wasn’t all that comfortable. And it was too thick for them to get any kind of friction going. Oh geeze, his thoughts were already starting to get away from him.

Pavonis trailed his fingers back up, looking down at Dipper’s chest. “Hm, I wonder…” He curiously stroked his thumb over a nipple.

Dipper was _not_ expecting that to feel so good. He arched back, part of him wanting to get away, the rest of him wanting the touch again.

“Did that feel good?” Pavonis asked. He rubbed against him again. “It’s not for everyone.”

Dipper swallowed as heat pulsed through his body, nerves seeming to come more alive. “I liked it.”

“Good!” Pavonis touched the other, gently squeezing the buds until they were stiff, before dropping his head, taking one in his mouth and suckling.

“Ggh…” Dipper leaned his head back, gasping. His fingernails dug into the demon’s skin. Fuck, that was nice.

Pavonis ran his tongue over the nipple and smirked. “Vocal, huh? I like it. Don’t try to hold it in…”

“Pavo, people could hear,” Dipper protested, squirming a bit.

“Is that so? Hm…” Pavonis lifted his head, though one of his thumbs continued to stroke the other. With his other hand, he gestured around. “There. There should be a muffling spell up now.”

“Should be?”

“Well I'm not the best at this kind of magic. You could always cast one too, just to make sure.”

“Unbelievable.” Dipper sighed and also cast a spell. He wasn’t that familiar with this one in particular, but using magic came easily to him now, after weeks of training. It seemed to do something. He could feel the energy around them. That would have to work.

Pavonis got up, reaching down to unbutton his shorts. “Wanna move to the bed? And take your pants off.”

Dipper hesitated, then unbuttoned his trousers, dropping them. He picked them up and set them with his other clothes. Pavonis copied him, taking off his shorts.

After a quick breath, Dipper went over to lay down on the bed on his back, sitting up slightly to watch the other. Pavonis soon joined him, crawling over him. He was wearing boxers, but something told Dipper those would be gone soon. He leaned down to kiss him, and as Dipper responded, he felt the other’s weight rest against him. Then there was a slow movement of Pavonis’s hips, pressing their groins together so they could feel each other through their underwear.

Dipper gasped, one hand grabbing at the blanket under him, the other seizing the demon’s hip.

Pavonis paused, lifting his head slightly. “Okay there?”

Dipper glanced down, then back up. “Fine. This is just… all so new.”

“I bet. But it’s okay. I’ll take good care of you.” Pavonis stroked his hair. “Can I move?”

Dipper nodded. The other began rolling his hips, grinding against him. Heat and pleasure shot up Dipper’s spine, and his toes curled. “Nn, fuck…” His back bowed, and he could feel himself growing hard.

“That’s it, you’re getting into it. Just do what feels natural.” Pavonis kissed him, continuing to move his hips, making little pants now. Dipper could feel his arousal easily. They were soon making out, hot and heavy as lust made Dipper forget his anxiety. Both of his hands gripped his partner’s waist, pulling him harder against him, and his thighs were spread apart to give him room.

Pavonis broke away with a breathless laugh, and began kissing up Dipper’s throat, making him squirm with enjoyment as he teased with his teeth and licked over the resulting bruises.

“Hn, Pavo…” Dipper lifted his chin, inviting the other to go higher. Pavonis took it, nipping into the sensitive skin, dragging his tongue across the human’s Adam’s apple. Growing confident, Pavonis grinded down harder against him.

“Want me to take off our underwear?” he asked.

“Y-yes,” Dipper replied, voice husky. “Please.”

That tone made a throb of want go through Pavonis. He took hold of his underwear, tugging them off and throwing them carelessly. Then he grasped Dipper’s and pulled them down slowly, giving him time to stop him if he wanted.

But Dipper only watched him, and Pavonis curiously looked down. Time to see what he was working with…

“Loosen that zipper, zipper, show me that Big Dipper,” he sang lightly under his breath.

Dipper hit him with the pillow, making him laugh. Fine, two could play at the bad pop song reference game. “I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock,” he sang in response. “Your peacock, cock, cock.”

Pavonis stared at him, then grinned. “I think you’re the first one to reference that song to me. Kudos.”

“Heh. Thanks.”

Pavonis returned his attention to Dipper’s crotch and slipped the fabric down far enough to free his erection. The human let out a relieved sigh, but turned his face to the side, blushing.

The demon hummed softly as he admired the other, pulling the underwear off the rest of the way. Dipper was toned and thickly built and had a wonderful little happy trail of brown hair leading down to his quivering cock.

Pavonis let out a soft whistle. Impressive. Not the biggest he’s seen, but good. Quite good. Thick. This should be fun.

“Don’t look so embarrassed,” he chirped to the other. “Big Dipper.”

“Oh my gods.” Dipper looked ready to burn up, he was blushing so hard. “Shut up.”

“Heh, it’s no big deal, I’ve got one too ya know.” And with no sense of shame, Pavonis sat up on his knees to show himself off.

Dipper found himself feeling strangely shy, but he lowered his eyes to look. Well, there it was. That sure was a dick. Curving up with arousal, its base surrounded by curls of red hair.

“I see the carpet matches the drapes,” Dipper joked. Humor was supposed to be the best way to handle fear and anxiety, right?

Pavonis wasn’t bothered. “Likewise.” He smiled. “See, this isn’t so bad. Just two bros hanging out, having fun. No problem.”

“Yeah.” Dipper looked back up at his face, seeing that even he was lightly blushing now, flustered by their intimacy. “This isn’t so bad.”

“Of course not! It’s great, sex is fun, and I’m gonna show you.” Pavonis looked him over, then reached down to grasp his length, giving it a slow pump. Dipper let out a moan, eyes shutting. That felt so much better than touching himself. His legs fell open, hips lifting a bit as the other began stroking him. He was vocal, letting Pavonis know what felt good, and was soon groaning and panting out his name, body hot and tense with need.

“Feels great, doesn’t it?” Pavonis asked, running his thumb over Dipper’s slit and trailing precum back down. “You want more? Because I sure know I do. You’re not the only one turned on right now.”

Dipper opened an eye, looking. Pavonis was straddling one of his legs by now, and his cock was hard against his stomach, precum at its tip.

“Jerk off with your other hand,” Dipper suggested. “Let me watch.”

“Now that’s dirty. I like it.” Pavonis used his free hand to grasp himself, stroking over his arousal gently. He shivered, hips thrusting forward, and sped up.

Dipper watched, arousal growing. It felt like all the blood in his body was either in his face or in his groin. He reached down, wrapping his hand around his own cock and nudging Pavonis’s away.

“What should I do with my other hand?” Pavonis asked.

“Whatever you want. You’re the experienced one here.”

Pavonis stopped touching himself altogether. “Right you are. So how about this?” He twisted his wrist, and a small bottle appeared in his hand. With a smirk, he stood up on his knees, planting them apart and opening the bottle.

Dipper paused for a moment. “What’s that?”

“I’m about to show you.” Pavonis poured liquid out and onto his fingers. It looked like a slick gel, except runnier. He reached down between his legs, and with a wink at Dipper, slipped his index finger inside himself.

Dipper’s breath hitched. He pushed himself up on an elbow to see better, extremely interested. It only took a few seconds of Pavonis stretching himself for Dipper’s hand to return to his length, pumping it. His sensitive hearing picked up on the soft little whimpers the other was making, the moans, and it was a turn on he never knew he had.

Pavonis swayed his hips as he worked, eyes half-lidded and teeth chewing on his lower lip. He pressed a second finger in, thrusting them in and out.

Dipper’s eyes followed the movements, as well as the strangely entrancing bobbing of Pavonis’s cock. It was slick with pre by now, nearly dripping. Not that Dipper was doing much better. So much about this display was getting to him.

A third finger and Pavonis was moaning much more loudly, legs shaking. His hand went to his cock, but since it was still clutching the bottle, he could only use a couple fingers to stroke himself with. It was good enough.

“Dipper,” he sighed, voice breathy and desperate. “Please…”

The human reached to take the lube from his hand, pouring some out into his palm and then applying it to himself. The touch to his aching cock was almost too much. He barely remembered to close the bottle before he was throwing it aside, and then both hands seized Pavonis’s hips. “Ride me,” he pleaded. He was too horny to be startled at his own words.

If Pavonis was surprised, he didn’t show it. He responded immediately to Dipper’s consent, pulling his fingers out and straddling the human, easing onto his shaft. He was gentle enough, but quick, taking him all at once.

“Fuck!” Ecstasy wracked Dipper’s body, the unexpected heat and pressure nearly pushing him over right then and there. His fingernails dug into the other’s skin hard enough to bruise.

“Easy,” Pavonis murmured. He was still for a moment, head lowered and curly hair falling in his face, watching Dipper adjust. Then he moved, lifting off until the other almost slipped out, before slamming back down. The human groaned low in his throat and reflexively jerked his hips up to meet him.

Dipper slid his hands up Pavonis’s body, pressing hard enough to scratch him, seeing him arch in response. A masochist. Fitting. Then again, Dipper had already learned that he also liked a little pain. The human wrapped one arm behind Pavonis’s waist for support, sitting up and pulling the demon further onto his lap.

The change of angle was enough to make Pavonis moan, head tossing back and showing his throat. Dipper couldn’t help it; he bit into that flawless skin, suckled and twisted.

“Nngh, déithe… Dipper…” Pavonis breathed harshly, chest heaving. He had gotten into a rhythm now, smoothly moving his hips to press the other inside himself, right into his sweet spot over and over again.

“You taste delicious,” Dipper murmured to him. The demon tasted of sugar and metal. A strange combination, but an exciting one. He ran his tongue up to Pavonis’s jaw.

The demon moved harder, grinding his arousal into Dipper’s firm stomach for some extra friction. “Ffuck, D-Dipper, you know I’m a slut for dirty talk.”

“Are you? And that wasn’t even all that dirty. How interesting.” Dipper was more sure of himself now that they were doing this. He moved his mouth over to his partner’s ear. “You feel so good around me. So hot and tight… You’re perfect.”

“Hn, Dipper, le do thoil…”

Dipper chuckled as the other slipped into speaking his native language of Gaelic. “I really should have done this sooner, this is fun.”

“You know what’d make it more fun?” Pavonis mumbled back.

“I’m all ears.”

“Flip us around, pin me down, fuck me hard.”

That did sound fun. Dipper wasn’t sure how to go about it without causing him discomfort, but he decided to just go for it. Pavonis was a demon, he’ll be fine. He wrapped both arms around Pavonis’s middle, and lifted him up. For a few moments, he just held him against him and fucked him, getting used to controlling the pace, enjoying how the other’s legs wrapped around him. Then he turned them around, slamming Pavonis onto his back underneath him and getting comfortable between his legs, roughly fucking him.

Pavonis cried out with pleasure, back lifting to press their bodies together, legs tightening around Dipper’s waist. He pulled him down, bucking easily into his thrusts.

This felt so much more intimate, Dipper was in rapture. He braced his elbows on either side of the other, chest to his, and pressed their lips together. Pavonis eagerly kissed back, arms around Dipper’s torso, one hand winding into Dipper’s hair.

The demon was getting more lustful, growling a bit into their kiss, his nails digging painfully into Dipper’s back. But in the moment, the pain only added to the thrill. He thrust faster, knowing that it wouldn’t hurt the other. His stomach muscles clenched as he pressed in deeper, burying to the hilt inside the demon. His movements were getting shorter, more desperate, losing rhythm as his climax approached.

Pavonis managed to keep up though, responding near perfectly, his movements only pushing Dipper closer. They were moaning against each other’s lips, pleading softly, lost in the bliss. Everything seemed to focus in on this moment, they were unaware of anything but each other, the sounds and sensations. Both had closed their eyes just to focus on all of it. They barely even realized that the bed was rocking with the force of their movements.

“Harder,” Pavonis grunted.

“I-I don’t think I can…”

“Not with that attitude, fuck me harder, Pines.” Pavonis tugged on Dipper’s hair, and the man groaned and obeyed, moving harder. Sweat was dripping from his skin now, legs starting to hurt, he was exhausted… but he forced himself to keep going. So close, almost there…

“That’s it, oh you’re a natural, gh… We have got to do this again. Almost there…” Pavonis rolled his hips more firmly up against him. “Would it help if I dirty talked to you?”

“Might as well,” Dipper managed.

“You’re so amazing, you feel so good inside of me, fucking me with everything you’ve got, I wanna feel your skin against mine, your body pinning me down, using me as you please. I feel so filthy having a human dominate me like this, I get off on the depravity, I want you to teach me a lesson. Nn, so close, I’m so fucking close, Dipper.” Pavonis’s voice was strained, but he was speaking clearly enough. “I want to finish, I want to come and scream your name as I do, praise you for giving me so much pleasure… T-this is by far one of the best nights I’ve had, you are so enthusiastic and I love it, I can’t wait to do this again and we aren’t even done. Come on, Dipper, give it to me. Come for me.”

Dipper couldn’t hold on any longer. He hunched over Pavonis, moaning and thrusting hard as he came. His thoughts completely blanked out for a few moments in the rush of pleasure. Vaguely he felt Pavonis squirm under him, but he definitely heard when he shouted, “Dipper!” in the most ecstatic voice yet. Dipper’s hips stuttered to a stop as he rode out his orgasm, panting and slowly gaining awareness again. He blinked, feeling warmth on his stomach and realizing Pavonis had finished too. He opened his eyes, looking down at the other.

Pavonis had his eyes closed, mouth open slightly as he panted, looking like… well, a wreck. But he seemed pleased with it. When he opened his eyes, they were bright. “Wow. Kid… good job.”

“Thanks,” Dipper replied.

Things seemed slower now. Peaceful. Dipper withdrew from the other and collapsed next to him, worn out. Pavonis briefly reached down, using magic to wipe the fluids off them. Then he laid down too, facing Dipper and looking at him, a question in his eyes. Dipper nodded, and the other crawled into his arms, curling up against him.

“That was great,” Dipper commented.

“It usually is.”

“I really liked it.”

“I’m glad.” Pavonis rested his head against Dipper’s, sighing with content. “Hey, Dipper.”

“What?”

“We just had sex in a camp.”

“Yeah, so-”

“It was fucking in _tents_.” Pavonis grinned.

Dipper was silent for a moment. Then he said, “Get the fuck out of my tent.”

Pavonis laughed, and after a moment, so did he. He hugged the demon closer, kissing his mouth, then his forehead.

“You’re ridiculous,” Dipper said fondly.

“So are you,” Pavonis snarked back.

“Yeah. We’re perfect, aren’t we?”

“Mhm.”

“Almost a shame you don’t want a romantic relationship… I would love to date you. But hey, friendship is just as good.”

“It really is. Friendship is magic.”

Dipper thumped his side. He giggled. “I don’t know if you sleep, but I’m tired. Goodnight.”

“Going to sleep already? Aw, okay. I can sleep too. Goodnight.” Pavonis struggled with the covers before just teleporting them over their bodies. Then he snuggled in, sighing. “We’ll talk about how awesome you were tomorrow.”

“Heh. All right. Sounds good.” As Dipper drifted off to sleep, he felt more content than he has in a very long time. He really has needed this.


	22. Something a Little Different

Dipper was incredibly cozy when he woke up the next morning. He knew right away that it must be early, as he wasn't waking to the triumphant sound of Reveille like he usually was. But that was fine. It was very satisfying to wake up and realize you had more time to sleep. Unless, of course, it was five minutes before it was time to get up. Then it just sucked.

He grunted and lifted his arm, starting to squint at his watch, and then became aware of the warm body pressed against his. He looked down at a mop of curly hair, the red just barely visible through the dimness of the tent. Oh, right.

Pavonis shifted when he did, blinking up at him. “Morning already?”

Dipper chuckled and checked his watch. “We've still got like an hour of sleep.”

“Oh thank the gods.” Pavonis's head thumped back down against his chest with no further question.

Dipper rested his arm over the other again, just looking at him. He couldn't believe he had actually had sex with him last night. A demon, a being hundreds of years older than him. Who could probably kill him without batting an eye. But it was fun, he had to admit. He felt more relaxed than he has in ages.

“Got anything in particular planned for today?” Pavonis asked him.

“Hm, not really. Me and Bill are probably just gonna talk about the most recent country we conquered. See about starting up recruiting there. You?”

“Magic practice, most likely. Gotta keep improving my abilities, you know?”

“Yeah. I'm also kinda worried about my great uncle, though. I have no idea where he is, but he'll probably try to fight us one day. I don't want him to get hurt.”

“Ahh, I get ya. Maybe you should ask Bill if you can devote a small team to locating him? And you could possibly lead it, that way no one hurts him?”

“Hey, that could work. Good idea.”

“No problem. I understand wanting to keep your family safe.” Pavonis yawned and snuggled in.

“Hey, I was wondering. Why does a demon like you need to sleep anyway?”

“I don't. It doesn't mean I can't get enjoyment out of it, though.”

“Fair enough.” Dipper closed his eyes, letting himself drift off again. He didn't intend to completely fall asleep, it wouldn't really be worth it, but he ended up passing out anyway. Before he knew it, the music was playing and he was jolting up.

Pavonis jumped too, almost covering his ears. “Damn, that's loud.”

“Aren't you used to it?” Dipper asked.

“No, I don't sleep here overnight usually. I usually pop into another dimension to meditate, or just do my own thing wherever, and then come here immediately at 6 AM. When one can teleport, there's really no need to stay here all the time.”

“Good point.” Dipper got up and stretched, feeling a few bones pop. He rubbed his back, and when he glanced over his shoulder, he saw Pavonis still sitting on the bed, watching him appreciatively. He looked around for something to throw at him.

Reading Dipper's intent in his aura, Pavonis lifted his hands and looked away. “Okay, okay, sorry.” He slid out of bed and snapped his fingers, clothes immediately appearing on him. Then he gave a dramatic spin, returning to his natural star-shaped form. “I'm gonna go see what the boss wants of me, come find me if you need me.”

“All right.”

“And hey, I had a lot of fun last night. You were awesome.”

“Heh, I'm glad, considering that I had no idea what I was doing.”

“It's pretty simple once you get the hang of it. Hit me up again some time, you've got some real talent. See ya later!” Pavonis teleported away with a crackle of electricity.

Dipper chuckled and went to gather up some clothes. He wore a towel around his waist and nothing else as he walked outside, heading for the latrine. No one really cared and he was beyond being shy by now. After a warm shower, he went to check himself out in the mirror, making sure Pavonis hadn't left any visible marks on his neck.

...And the bastard did. Dipper saw a few purple bruises on his skin, high enough that they could probably be seen even if he was wearing his shirt and coat. And when he turned to look at his back, he could see red lines from the other's fingernails. Oh that son of a bitch.

“Pavo,” Dipper sighed. He reached to touch the bruises, prodding them. At least they didn't hurt too bad. But they were kinda embarrassing. Luckily, there was a solution to that.

One healing spell later and the bruises were gone, and he nodded with satisfaction before pulling on his clothes. Hair and teeth brushed, deodorant applied, and he was ready to go. He jogged back to his tent to put everything away, tucked his phone into his pocket along with a few other things he might need, and then he ran to the chow hall.

It wasn't that busy yet, so Dipper was able to get his food fairly quickly and then go to sit next to Bill.

The demon was grinning about as much as a creature without a mouth could grin. “Hey, Dipper! Have a good time?”

“Bill-”

“Was it an electrifying experience?”

“Oh my God-”

Bill slapped his back. “Ah I'm just messing with you. Seriously, how was it?”

“Oh, you know.” Dipper prodded at the pancakes he had gotten. It was about time they got some humans doing work around here. These were way better than the usual fare. “It was fun.”

“I'm glad to hear that. You look pretty relaxed.”

“You're usually in my mind, don't you know how it went?”

“No, I stopped watching you to give you some privacy because I know what manners are.”

“Surprising.” Dipper ducked as Bill swatted at him. He grinned and grabbed the demon's wrist, wrapping his other arm around him and pulling him over so he could give him a kiss under the eye.

As usual, Bill squirmed and pushed at him. “Ew, stop!”

“You're so cute,” Dipper teased, amused when the other's color flashed to pink for a moment before returning to yellow.

“Not in front of everyone, come on,” Bill complained, both hands on Dipper's face and eye darting over to see how the others were reacting.

However, most of the cafeteria patrons were busy eating and talking, not really paying attention to the shenanigans taking place up at the table. Even Bill's commanders, all high ranking and rather dignified individuals, didn't really seem to care. A few were even smiling slightly.

Bill huffed and gave in, giving Dipper a quick peck to the forehead using his eyelids. “There, satisfied?”

Dipper let go of Bill, allowing him to sink back into his chair. “Good enough.”

Bill made quite a show of dusting himself off, brushing his hand back over his eyelashes, as though he had been greatly inconvenienced by Dipper's actions.

“You're so lame,” Dipper said, cutting a piece off a pancake and taking a bite.

“Oh yeah? Well if I'm lame, what does that make you?” Bill smacked Dipper's hat off the table.

Dipper caught it with magic before it hit the ground, and levitated it back up. “The guy that you fell in love with.”

Bill didn't seem to have a retort for that. He just knocked the hat down again. Dipper laughed. Despite their new romantic relationship, Bill sometimes had a hard time with the more, well, romantic part of it. He was sure the other would figure it out, though. He was pretty smart. In fact, Dipper was certain he knew how to behave, he was just intentionally being an ass. He'd be concerned if he wasn't behaving like that, honestly.

“So I was thinking that we could do something a little different today,” Dipper said.

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well, I was thinking about Ford, and how we don't really know where he's at. Do you think we could devote more resources to tracking him down?”

Bill tapped his fingers together. “We could. What would be the benefit of this?”

“Well, you know Ford. He's probably going to be planning a rebellion, possibly planning to fight us himself. He isn't going to care if I'm part of your army, or how old he is... he'll be willing to sacrifice himself and others for what he feels is the good of humanity.”

“Yes, I always did admire that about him.” Bill shrugged. “But if he does confront us, we'll be ready. I'll wipe out whatever pitiful forces he's raised, and with a wave of the hand, send him packing. I'll literally teleport him back to his house, I don't care how many times I have to do it. Eventually he'll give up.”

“I don't think he will. He's very persistent.”

“Very well. I'll freeze him in amber or carbonite or something until the war is over, is that acceptable?”

“No!”

“Geeze, you're not giving me much to work with here, are you? What would you suggest, then?”

“I don't know, maybe...” Dipper thought about it. “Just... we could try talking to him? Convince him to give up that way?”

“By all means, you could try. I don't know how easy it would be to convince a man like that to just stop trying to save Earth. He won't go down without a fight.”

Dipper took a drink of apple juice, considering that. Then he said, “Do you think we could manipulate him over onto our side?”

Bill stared at him. Then he said, “While I love the idea of that, do you really think he would agree to join me? I've already tried to get him on my side multiple times, and so far he has refused.”

“True... but you didn't have me on your side before.”

“True, I didn't. Are you suggesting we blackmail him like I did to you?”

Dipper hesitated. “I don't really like the term blackmail.”

“Me neither, I prefer the term extortion. Either way, it works! Hey, if you think it'll work, we could definitely try to talk him into joining us. Imagine what we could do with his smarts.”

“But say we aren't able to convince him. We would have to... get him out of the way somehow.”

“Give me permission to kill him,” Bill said blankly.

“Out of the question. I'm not killing him. No one in this army is.”

Bill sighed and sat back. “Well if you think of anything, let me know. For now, I guess we should focus our efforts on actually finding the old man, huh?”

“Yes. For now, we can just try to find him. Got any ideas on how to do that?”

“Tons. We can use a talented psychic like Pavonis who knows how to read auras and scry. I could attempt to find him through the Mindscape, as his mind is very familiar to me and I should be able to locate it. There are spells for locating people based on their names or memories of them alone. Or we could just do it the old fashioned way and devote manpower to physically investigating and hunting him down. Whatever you want to do.”

“What would be most efficient?”

“Most efficient? Get psychics on the case. However, a lot of our psychics are also very powerful magic users in general, and it wouldn't be beneficial to pull them away from battles where they're needed. The best solution would be a small team, possibly comprised of demons who don't see much combat anyway, whether it be because of high rank or because their talent simply isn't being utilized in that way.”

“Makes sense. Have anyone in mind?”

“Certainly. Not really anyone you know, but I can get the team together and keep you updated on their findings, as all of them will be able to communicate with me telepathically.”

Dipper nodded. “Okay. Because I want to know as soon as they find anything.”

“I completely understand. And as soon as he's found, you'll be the first to know.”

“Good. Thank you.”

“No problem.” Bill was quiet for the rest of breakfast, most likely speaking to the team he had mentioned. And after about ten minutes, he actually said goodbye to Dipper and teleported away entirely.

Without giving Dipper any particular tasks for the day.

Well then. Dipper didn't complain, getting up and going to put his tray away. What should he do today, then? After spending about thirty minutes just walking around the base and checking up on various commanders and troops, he returned to his tent and turned on his laptop. No reason why he couldn't do his own investigating, he supposed. Between him and Bill, Ford should be tracked down in no time.


	23. Kick Ass and Win

A few days passed and Dipper had made little progress in locating his great uncle. He scoured the Internet for word of Oregon-based militias, for any mention of a six-fingered leader fighting back against the demon army, but there was nothing promising. There were plenty of discussions about what was happening, people talking about how they were gonna fight back, or weighing the pros and cons of joining the demons… many a forum thread involved users harassing others and calling them out for siding with the enemy.

There was useful info, sure, and Dipper wrote down a lot of notes for other uses. But he was focused on finding Ford. There was one well known group in Oregon that fought back, but the most recent news on it mentioned that they had been scattered after their last attack and haven’t been heard from. There was no mention of who was in it though. It seemed to be a mystery even to the media.

Dipper focused on researching that group, digging for whatever information he could get. They were determined, he found out. Their strikes were intelligent and precise. Some reports even claimed they used magic and strange new weaponry. As though led by a genius scientist and inventor.

Dipper was certain it was Ford. Ford and probably other Gravity Falls residents, and people from beyond the town. Banding together and using their knowledge of the supernatural to fight back.

But before Dipper could really confirm, he found himself thrown into a sudden attack.

The speakers, which usually only ever played music or announcements, suddenly blared a loud tone. It wavered up and down in pitch, startlingly familiar. Dipper has heard this in enough movies to know what it was. Air raid siren.

He launched himself away from his computer, nearly tripping in his haste to grab his vest and helmet, putting them on. His heart was already pounding as he tugged on gloves. He picked up his gun and grabbed a few clips, putting them in his pockets before running outside.

It was chaos, people running to get to their assigned locations, weapons being prepared, commanders shouting instructions. Dipper shielded his eyes and looked up, trying to find the reason for the siren.

He was nearly knocked over by Bill slamming into him. The demon grabbed his shoulders and Dipper looked down to meet his eye. “Bill, what’s going on?”

“Air Force is on their way, kid! The Marines were a distraction like I said, we have a detachment fighting them a couple miles away but the Air Force miscalculated, there are far more of us left behind here, and we’re ready. You can’t fly so get into a bunker, things are gonna get nasty.”

“Holy shit, are we gonna be okay?”

“There are magical barriers over the base but enough explosions against them could bring them down. I would strongly suggest you take cover until the bombs are done dropping.”

Dipper glanced at his tent, then said, “Be right back,” and ran into it. He swept up his backpack, shoving his laptop and phone into it.

“Dipper, your life is more important than your electronics!” Bill yelled at him.

Dipper ran back out. “It’s not like they’re here yet-”

And then there was a low, drawn out whistling sound, and he looked up in time to see several jets shoot by, disappearing from sight before he could even turn to track them. The following sonic booms nearly hurt. And then he saw the bombs. Dozens of them.

“Shit!” Dipper sprinted for the nearest hardened shelter. The bombs exploded against the barrier, shaking the ground and nearly throwing him. He stumbled and kept going, leaping down the stairs and through the doors. The shelter was packed with demons and humans alike, clutching their weapons and listening nervously to the explosions high above them.

“Sir,” a nearby ex-sailor greeted him.

Dipper nodded back, kneeling down into a more defensive position like the others. He flinched each time there was a particularly loud boom, feeling the floor rattle. This building had no windows though, so at least the sound was muffled. New people came in every so often, but no one seemed to be hurt.

Looking around, Dipper failed to locate Bill or Pavonis, or quite a few of his other friends. But they could fly, so they were probably outside taking down jets.

Taking in a breath, Dipper closed his eyes and then opened up his mind to Bill. He’s never quite done this before, but he was sure it would work. He curiously nudged at the other’s mind, asking him what was going on and if he could watch.

Bill cheerfully allowed him, and suddenly Dipper was able to see what the demon was seeing, hear wind rushing past him, everything. He was high in the air, flying faster than Dipper has ever seen him, chasing a plane. The demon’s hand came into view, thrusting forward and launching a blue fireball at the jet. His aim was perfect, and the fireball slammed into the wing, completely blowing it off. The plane spiraled out of control, and as it turned, Bill threw another fireball right into the hatch that had been open in preparation for dropping bombs. The entire bomber was torn apart by the resulting explosion, and Dipper couldn’t help but think at least the pilot died quickly.

 _Wrong_ , Bill thought, loud and clear in Dipper’s mind. _There he is._ He looked up, and Dipper saw that the pilot had ejected their seat and was now floating down with a huge parachute open above them.

 _Are you going to kill him_? Dipper asked.

 _Maybe,_ Bill replied, flying over to the man. The pilot jumped and fumbled with his pistol, but Bill easily tore it from his hands and threw it to tumble down without him. “Hey, airman.”

The man said nothing, just glaring at him defiantly. He was still wearing his helmet and breathing apparatus.

“Wow, what an explosion!” Bill continued. “You’re lucky you made it out of that one. Hey, what’s your name?”

The other still didn’t answer.

“You’re very rude. Fine, I’ll figure it out.” Bill examined his flight suit, or what he could see of it that wasn’t covered up by the large straps of his harness. “Okay, Major… ooh, a major, huh? Impressive. And as for your name, you are…” Bill located the name tag. “Brandon James. All right, Major James, you have a few choices here. You can agree to be our prisoner of war, and we’ll hold onto you until we’re done, at which point you can scamper back to your pathetic military… whatever remains of it. Or you could tell me to kill you, which I can do painlessly. If you think that’d be honorable or something. Or your last choice, you could join me, and get cool powers and fight for me! What’ll it be?”

James reached up to unstrap his helmet, detaching the tube and taking it off. Holding the helmet under his arm, he said, “I would never join you.”

“Okay, so that leaves you two options,” Bill said. He looked at another plane that was falling from the sky, and even further down, at the base below them. It seemed that the barrier had been broken, because there were broken buildings and craters. “Death or prison? Which will it be?”

“Do whatever you wish to do to me. I knew this might happen before I ever flew out here. I have accepted it.”

“Yeah that’s really noble and all but I’m really gonna need you to choose here because I have a ton of damage control to see to and quite frankly you’re distracting me. Prisoner of war or painless death? If you don’t choose I’ll go the route I was trying to avoid and make it a painful and messy death just for pissing me off.”

The major was silent. Bill sighed and reached out to strip the radio and survival pack off of him, teleporting them away to his own supply storage.

 _Keep him alive, put him to work,_ Dipper suggested.

 _He wouldn’t cooperate. These types never do. I’m gonna kill him._ Bill’s fingers moved to the officer’s neck, ignoring how he tried to smack him away. However, Bill simply removed his dogtags, tucking them away in a pocket dimension.

After determining which squadron the man was from, Bill prepped his magic. And Dipper didn’t want to watch what was about to happen. He tore his mind away, blinking open his eyes to find himself back in his own body. Still listening to the mortars outside. Closer, louder. Some were even hitting the building he was in. But there weren’t as many now. Almost everyone was sitting by now, waiting it out.

Dipper shook his head, disoriented. Bill’s mind was mostly shielded from him, but still, that brief sense sharing had been intense. Bill could see and hear far more than he ever could.

He sank down to sit against the wall, sighing. This was almost boring now. He would almost rather be fighting.

 _We might be,_ Bill’s voice came to him. _They’re going all out. Paratroopers on the way, and our forces at the taken base were…_ He sounded disgruntled. _Decimated. It was a close fight, but in the end we were outnumbered. There are ground troops on their way here. But we have an advantage here… Now we outnumber them._

_Is Pavonis okay?_

_He’s fine. He’s with me. Come on, Captain, you’ve got this. I’m speaking to my commanders. Get ready. You’ll be fine._

Dipper adjusted his weapon, taking a breath. He slid his backpack off and stood. Hopefully he didn’t get hurt again.

Before long, one of Bill’s commanders got up. Demon of course, and humanoid enough to wear a uniform, though it was altered for their two extra arms to fit in. Gold bats gleamed on their lapels, marking them as a colonel.

“Alright, everyone shut the fuck up and listen to me!” they yelled. All chatter ceased, everyone looking at them. They proceeded to explain everything that Bill had reported to Dipper, but in much greater detail. They laid out a battle strategy and gave the different squads a job to do. None of the paratroopers would be landing in the base, but they would be landing to the northeast. And of course there were the Marines and other soldiers coming from the northwest. And there could still be planes.

Dipper would be in one of the detachments going to meet the troops coming from the old army base. He was very nervous about it, especially since they would be up against larger numbers.

Bill actually returned near the end of the briefing, going to float silently next to Dipper. He held his hand gently.

“I think that covers it,” the colonel said. They located Bill. “Do you have anything?”

Bill lifted higher when everyone turned to look at him. “Kick ass and win. We wanna spread our chaos worldwide, we gotta get the resistance out of our way. So get out there. Failure is not an option.”

There were energetic cries, and everyone stood, ready to go. Dipper looked at Bill. “What will you do?”

Bill gave him one of his unique smiles. “I’m staying right by your side.”

Dipper smiled too, and leaned in to kiss below his eye. Bill was used to it by now, but he still turned a bit pink. “Thank you. That makes me feel safer already.”

“Yeah. I’ll be there to protect you. No more broken bones, Pines.”

Dipper chuckled and slid an arm around him, hugging him. “Alright, I’ll try.”

Bill hugged him back, then floated back. “Okay, let’s get out there. There shouldn’t be any more bombs falling, if we get out there fast we’ll be too close to the US’s troops for them to risk bombing us.”

Dipper nodded, and soon the commanders were calling for movement. They headed outside. The sunlight was bright and the air was clogged with dust. There were holes in the ground all over the base, tents were destroyed, it was a mess. But they would have to take care of it later. They moved on, making their way to the gate. Once past the fence, they split into their groups and began jogging, heading out to meet the enemy head on.

While Dipper was nervous, he was less so with Bill next to him. He held the demon’s hand the entire way, casting glances at him for reassurance. They could see the charging battalion ahead of them, drawing closer and closer by the minute. People were readying their weapons and magic.

Bill flew faster, and Dipper hurried to keep up with him. 8 Ball called out to his group, and they took the lead, heading their own charge.

Once in the very front, with no one in front of him but the enemy, Bill’s eye twinkled with mischief. He slid his hand away from Dipper, and the human could feel the magic condensing around him, more than he’s ever felt in one place at once. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, goosebumps erupting down his arms.

Bill spread his arms a bit, seeming to limber up. He gave Dipper a blink that was probably supposed to be a wink, and then turned forward. The approaching troops were taking aim, some even taking out grenades, ready to throw them.

And then Bill let loose. His palms moved forward, and a wall of blue fire erupted from the ground in front of them and surged forward.

The heat washed over Dipper, and he gasped, nearly stopping. But the flames didn’t touch him, just continuing to advance on their enemy. They didn’t even falter, slamming into the soldiers.

Bill’s eye was full of manic glee as he poured energy into his magic. Dipper could see it in his mind now. He’s been saving up power for this. He’s been wanting to just unleash destruction on hundreds of people, and now he had his chance.

The opposing troops collapsed like flies off a bug zapper. The force of the flames alone was enough to sweep them off their feet, and then their uniforms were being burnt through, skin being seared and split open. Some dropped their weapons and tried to shield themselves, and others kept forcing through despite how they were literally on fire.

They didn’t stand a chance when Bill’s troops started shooting. Between the barrage of bullets and spells, they were soon collapsing and not getting back up.

“This is gonna get gross,” Bill warned Dipper, before the fire took on a brighter, almost white light, like a laser. People were literally ripped apart in its path, disintegrating.

Other demons flew overhead, going to take out the soldiers near the back, though the fire had reached even them. It was very impressive magic.

Bill dropped his hands with a grunt, and the light disappeared. There were very few soldiers left standing, and when they looked around and saw how few of their comrades were left, they quickly grew demoralized.

Finishing them off was a piece of cake. Bill’s side took no casualties. A few sustained gunshot wounds, but nothing fatal.

“Holy _shit_ , Bill!” Dipper exclaimed, as the army behind them cheered. One unit ran ahead to dispatch the vehicles that had brought the soldiers here.

“Whoo!” Bill laughed. “Now _that_ was fun.”

“Why don’t you do that all the time?”

“It uses a fair amount of magic. But hey I’m always getting stronger, so you might see me doing stuff like this more often.” Bill swept his arm around Dipper’s shoulders, turning him. He lifted his voice and addressed his army. “Let’s head east and help our comrades! March!” They began jogging.

It didn’t take long to find where the battle was taking place, and the paratroopers were already getting cut down. The arrival of reinforcements made them back off, shooting glances at each other, a few speaking into their radios.

Whatever the response was, it unnerved them. They backed away more.

“Nope, you’re not going anywhere!” Bill called. “Dipper, destroy them!”

“Oh God, okay, uh…” Dipper blasted the nearest soldier with fire, and shot another. He felt a bullet hit his side, grazing his vest. He stumbled back, but his comrades were all around him now, attacking as well.

It was a massacre, to say the least. A few people on Bill’s side were killed, but most were only injured. When the last enemy fell, the troops whooped and turned away without a care, heading back to the base.

“Yeah, that’ll teach America to fuck with us,” Bill boasted.

Dipper reached down to his arm, rubbing a sore spot; another bullet hit, though again, it didn’t get embedded. He was lucky this time. “Yeah,” he agreed.

“We did great today.” Bill took Dipper’s hand. “Are you okay?”

“I’m good. Just… we didn’t leave anyone alive today.”

“Well, no. They attacked us, we took them out. I wasn’t planning on having survivors.”

Dipper nodded slightly. “Right. I still feel bad for them though.”

“Your sympathy is natural. But always remember… it’s you or them.”

“I know.” Dipper was quiet for a while, just looking ahead and holding Bill’s hand. Then he said, “By the way, I think Ford is still in Oregon. I found some info that might help us.”

“Oh, have you? Good, because I’m having trouble. I can’t even find his mind, it’s like he’s shielding it from me somehow. So I’ve just been scanning any unprotected mind in the Gravity Falls area looking for information, but so far, there’s little that’s actually useful. Tell me what you know.”

Dipper gathered his thoughts together, and then began explaining. “Okay, so I’ve been researching into civilian militias…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B1 bombers are the sexiest planes in the United States Air Force arsenal


	24. Ready For a Road Trip?

Dipper found himself on a trip to Oregon a few days later. He and a small team would be following up on their investigations into Ford’s location. They teleported to Gravity Falls late at night, arriving in the woods.

The group moved slowly, senses on high alert for any danger, but the forest was quiet. Any supernatural creature present would no doubt be avoiding them, with all the magic they put out.

They had shields up, and proximity spells, they were ready for any encounter. Dipper was the only human, but that was fine. He felt safe with this group.

Especially since it included Pavonis. The psychic would be invaluable to their search. As soon as he got his hands on something Ford has touched, or even saw a location he’s been to, he could memorize his aura and then begin scanning the area for him. He claimed to be quite proficient at this.

So as risky as it was… their first stop was the Mystery Shack.

“Okay, if I know my great uncle, he would have put up a ton of enchantments before leaving. Barriers to keep demons out. Possibly even to prevent direct teleportation in. So I’m gonna have to sneak in alone,” Dipper explained, once the trees thinned out and they could see the building ahead.

“You sure?” Pavonis asked.

Dipper nodded. “Yeah. It won’t be set to keep out a human… especially not his nephew. I hope.”

They reached the edge of the forest, and Dipper gestured for everyone to lay low while he crept forward. As usual, seeing the shack filled him with nostalgia. He was careful as he approached the building, expecting Stan to run outside at any moment. But he never showed up, and Dipper curiously felt for any spells in the area.

His skin crawled when he was ten feet from the porch. There was definitely a barrier. But he pushed through it with little trouble. Once on the porch, he slid the spare key from its hiding spot and let himself into the house.

All the lights were off. He couldn’t even hear the TV. Stan was in bed then. He went upstairs and to Ford’s room. The door was unlocked, and he went inside.

Dipper felt magic swirl around him, then fade. He took a breath. Was that meant to be a trap? Also meant to respond to a demon, so it didn’t affect him? Whatever it was, he wasn’t going to stay long enough to find out. He had to find something they could use for tracking.

He explored the room, examining objects before settling on the pillow. He picked it up and headed out, hoping that Stan didn’t notice.

He paused next to Stan’s door, almost wanting to say hi. But he couldn’t risk it. He went downstairs and outside. After locking the door, he returned the key to its spot, and hopped down from the porch.

Dipper jogged into the darkness offered by the forest, and met up with his team. “I grabbed this.”

“Oh, that is perfect!” Lyca, a demon with wolf-like ears and a snout, exclaimed. She took the pillow and inhaled deeply. “Got it!”

“Let me see that.” Pavonis took it, staring at it for a long moment. Then he blinked and handed it off. “What an intelligent aura. This should be fun.”

Dipper waited while each demon examined the pillow, then accepted it back, tucking it into an empty bag that should hopefully preserve it and keep other scents from sinking into it.

“So guys, think you can find him?” Dipper asked.

They nodded, already looking around, using their various magics. Dipper just sat down and let them get to it. He played on his phone as he waited.

After a few minutes, the demons all gathered to discuss things, and Dipper listened the best he could, though they were using a mix of languages; predominantly Latin. It was a little hard to follow.

“In English, please?” he finally said.

“He’s well hidden but we think we found him,” Pavonis replied. “The man is surrounded with protection spells and he’s easily like… more than a hundred miles from here. But we figured out his general location and Rei here read some minds and we know he’s in the area. I think we can find him. Ready for a road trip?” He lifted his hands, and two Jeeps materialized in the parking lot of the Mystery Shack.

Dipper grinned and slapped his back. “Pavo, you’re awesome.”

“Don’t get too excited, I just grabbed these out of the base, they were assigned to us for the mission.” Pavonis seemed pleased with the praise, though. He shifted into his human form and took off at a run. “Come on, guys!” he called back, grinning.

They sprinted after him.

“Where are we even going?” Dipper shouted.

Pavonis swung up into the passenger seat of one of the Jeeps. “We’re going to Salem!”

Dipper climbed into the driver’s seat of that Jeep. “Really? Sounds like fun.”

“He’s using the size of the city to hide his operation. But we’ll find him.”

Dipper looked at Pavonis as the rest of their team loaded up. The other was wearing the uniform for once. “You look good in that.”

Pavonis beamed. “Thank you. I figured I should wear it, since everyone else is. I wanted to fit in.”

“Good idea.” Dipper turned on the vehicle.

“How about a kiss for good luck?” Pavonis asked.

Dipper was silent as he adjusted the mirrors. Then he leaned over and kissed the other on the mouth. He was blushing when he leaned back. He hasn’t slept with him anymore, but he has considered it. And kissing him just reminded him of those _other_ kisses they shared.

Coughing, Dipper put the vehicle into drive and followed the other one down the road. They knew where they were going.

“You’re so awkward again,” Pavonis commented. “Doing all right?”

“I’m fine, it’s just… been a while, ya know?”

“It really has been. We should fix that.” Pavonis’s hand found Dipper’s thigh. Though the presence of uniform pants made the touch much less seductive than he intended.

Someone in the back seat hooted. Dipper blushed more. But he grasped Pavonis’s hand anyway. “We’ll see. Besides…” He motioned for him to lean closer, and whispered, “I had fun last time. I wanna see you moaning in pleasure underneath me again. You felt so good.”

The demon’s cheeks flushed. “Dipper, shut the fuck up before I pop a boner right here.”

Dipper chuckled. “Sorry, Mr. Dirty Talk. I won’t talk about how good you looked riding my dick, with your back arched and your teeth bared… head back and showing me your throat… I won’t mention it at all.”

“You’re an evil piece of shit, Pines,” Pavonis stated, yanking his hand away and turning to look out the window.

The passengers in the back laughed.

Dipper turned on the radio. They listened to music as they drove, soon getting on a major highway heading north. It was about 1 AM and almost no one was on the road. Prime driving conditions. At one point, Dipper changed lanes and drove up next to the other Jeep, and they began racing.

They only stopped when one of the demons reported the presence of a cop a mile ahead. They immediately slowed, riding at the speed limit by the time they drove by the cruiser, which was parked on the side of the road with its dim lights on.

The sight of the two blood red jeeps with gold triangles on their sides must have been enough to deter the cop, because they made no move to follow.

“I looked in his car and his aura had gone all blue with fear,” Pavonis laughed.

“I want to blow him up so bad,” one of the demons in the back, who favored fire, pleaded. He leaned forward. “Captain, please, it’ll be quick…”

“No,” Dipper said shortly. “He’s a civilian.”

“The police in this country are so militarized, he might as well be-”

“He has made no move against us. So we will not harm him. That’s final.”

The other groaned but sat back.

Pavonis grinned and held up a CD, which he apparently teleported to himself just now. “Who wants to listen to my latest mixtape?”

The protests were immediate and loud.

“I would kill you so hard in so many different ways,” Lyca growled.

Pavonis kept grinning. “Calm down, I’m joking.” He turned the disc so they could see the album art on the front. “It’s Nickelback.”

“That’s no better!”

“You shut your mouth, Lyca! We all know you’re anime trash! Vocaloids aren’t that great!”

“You leave my waifus out of this!”

“Am I in a truck with demons or middle schoolers?” Dipper demanded. “Holy shit. Pavo, put in the Nickelback.”

“Yeah! This guy has good taste.” Pavonis put the disc in.

“Nah I’d just rather listen to them than your bitching.”

“Ouch.” Pavonis clutched his chest. “That hurt, Dipper. I’m hurt. In here.”

“Aw, I’m sorry. Want me to kiss it better later?”

“Yes. And maybe lick it better.”

Lyca whooped.

They listened to the CD, singing along to the songs they knew, and discussing strategies for dealing with Ford when not singing. It took a couple hours, but finally they reached the city.

“Ah, Salem, the capital of Oregon,” Dipper commented. “I’m not surprised he would come here.”

“Man, I can almost sense him.” Pavo leaned out the window, looking around. “But this place is big… and the auras of other humans are distorting my view. He probably knows this.”

“Definitely. He knows a lot about the supernatural.” Dipper followed the other Jeep as they cruised the streets, everyone looking around.

He could hear the demons communicating telepathically, graciously including him in their speech. They suspected that Ford’s group, if here, would be on the lookout for vehicles and troops belonging to Bill’s army. They could be driving into a trap.

 _We’ll put powerful wards on the vehicles,_ Dipper said. _Strong enough to take an attack. Just in case. I’m sure there will be a ceasefire as soon as I get out._

The others agreed, and they combined their energy to place strong barriers around the vehicles that should be able to deflect bullets, fire, and offensive spells.

It was fairly quiet in the city. A few vehicles were out and about, but for the most part there was nothing to see. It was a nice area, with a surprising amount of trees and pretty architecture. They briefly drove through the downtown area, but the demons directed them back out soon enough, having them head toward the nearby river and drive along that road.

They were passing a park when it happened. Proximity spells activated, sending shivers of alarm down everyone’s bodies, and then the front Jeep was blown entirely off the road by a blur of flame that erupted against it.

Dipper looked right in time to see what was coming at them; a rocket. He quickly teleported out of the Jeep, hitting the grass next to the road and rolling. The vehicle was hurled over his head.

He jumped up and turned to look at the wreckage, but his teammates surrounded him, and a quick headcount showed that no one was missing. They turned in the direction the rockets had come from, seeing a group of roughly a dozen humans charging at them, all wearing dark clothing and face paint. One was holding a rocket launcher; that was what had taken out their vehicles.

It was lucky they had the wards on them, otherwise they would probably all be dead.

Dipper and his comrades faced the charging humans, who were equipped with small guns and knives. Even from a distance he could sense the magic covering them, but it wasn't strong enough to be a concern.

“Yeah, how about no,” Dipper said, and with a thought, lifted them all into the air with his own magic. They struggled, shouting at him, and he carelessly wrenched their weapons away and dropped them to the ground.

“Who are these wackos?” Pavonis asked, crossing his arms.

Dipper shrugged. “Hard to tell in the dark. Someone get me a light.”

One of the others used a spell to light up the area, and Dipper finally saw the pins on their assailants’ clothes. Each had a silver six-fingered hand pinned to them somewhere.

“Those pins,” Dipper said, glaring at the nearest person. “Your leader is Ford, isn’t he?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, traitor,” they spat at him.

“Don’t play dumb with me. Stanford Pines. A genius who has polydactyly. Six fingers on each hand. His hair is greying and he wears black-rimmed glasses. He’s your leader, isn’t he?”

“We’re not telling you anything!” someone else yelled.

Dipper sighed.

Pavonis stepped forward, cracking his knuckles before picking up one of the knives that had been dropped. “Want me to torture one of them for the information?”

“No torture,” Dipper ordered. He looked at the humans. “You better tell me who you work for, or your little rebellion will be killed. I’m not playing around.”

No one answered.

“Pavonis,” Dipper said, and the psychic perked up. “Read their auras, do some retrocognition on them, see if you can figure out if Ford works with them.”

Pavonis looked disappointed, but he nodded and walked over to a random person, staring at them. Then he glanced at a few others before returning to Dipper. “Yeah. They know their leader is a six-fingered man like you said. But they’ve never been told his real name. They all call him Enigma. In their pasts I see a man like you described. A little taller than you, strong-looking, nice ass, wearing a cloak…”

“Oh man what a drama queen… Yeah that’s him. I will elect to ignore the comment about his butt.” Dipper raised his other hand, vanishing the weapons away, and dropped everyone. “Okay, where is Enigma? Talk or I will authorize my friend here to go ahead with the torture.”

“Go ahead,” Pavonis taunted. “Make my day.”

They got to their feet, raising their fists, and Dipper’s troops stepped forward. The air crackled with tension.

Then a familiar voice called, “No need for fighting… stand down, everyone. I’ll take it from here.” A man walked out from beyond a cluster of trees, and the humans nodded and parted for him. When he reached Dipper, he stopped and pulled down his hood.

“Grunkle Ford,” Dipper murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The leader of the rebellion.  
> My Grunkle.


	25. He's Using You

The look on his great uncle's face was unreadable. Dipper decided to try for a polite approach, opening his arms and stepping in for a hug. “Hey, it's so great to see you-”

And then the man's fist slammed into his jaw. Dipper's head was snapped aside by it, and he stumbled back, being caught by Pavonis while the demons yelled in anger.

“N-no, stay back,” he called to them, throwing out an arm. He rubbed his cheek, making sure his jaw wasn't broken. “Ford, what the hell was that-”

“How could you join _them_?!” Ford demanded. He gestured at the demons. “Did you learn nothing from the Weirdmageddon? They will destroy our world! What the fuck?!”

Dipper had planned to go about this politely, but his cheek hurt so now he was pissed off. “I did this to try and protect you!” he yelled back. “I made Bill promise, in exact words, that he wouldn't hurt you! And now, by throwing yourself into the war, you're completely ruining the sacrifice I've made for you!”

“Sacrifice? Oh yeah, you sure have sacrificed a lot, you're alive and healthy, what a sacrifice! Meanwhile, thousands of humans are dying every day because of what Bill's people are doing!”

“I don't like that people are dying!” Dipper stepped closer. “But I knew that it would happen whether or not I joined him! But by joining him, I ensured your safety! I ensured the safety of everyone in our family! Now we will survive whatever they throw at us, and when they eventually stop, we'll still be here! Would you rather be dead?”

Ford gave him a sullen glare. “Considering the state these monsters will leave our world in... I probably would.”

Dipper growled, pulling on his hair in frustration. “I should have known you wouldn't understand, you were always about the greater good of humanity, willing to give it all up to save Earth... well it's useless. If you keep pushing back against Bill, he'll eventually just run you over. And he can't hurt you in particular. So you'll have to watch as he kills every single one of your friends. He'll make examples out of them.” Dipper glanced at Pavonis, who ran a finger along the knife he had picked up. “Tortured and killed on live television. Bill will make sure humans get the message. Fight back and be destroyed. Stand down... and you have a chance of survival in the new world they create. They might rule it, but we could live. I've accepted what's going to happen. Why haven't you?”

“As long as there's a chance I can save this world, I will fight for it,” Ford announced, to cheering from his team.

“And as long as I can still stand, I'll fight for Bill,” Dipper replied, to equal cheering and applause from the demons.

“Disappointing.” Ford turned his back on him, hands slipping into his pockets. “I really thought that I could convince you.”

“I've made a deal with Bill. Sealed with my soul, you know how it is. I can't turn my back on him.”

“Of course not. I know what his fury is like when people break their promises to him. I understand if you aren't able to bring yourself to defy him.” Ford sighed deeply, and then said, “Nunc.”

Dipper reacted first, throwing up his hands and erecting a ward around his group, directing it into a dome shape over them. And not a moment too soon; Ford's rebels all took out weapons he hadn't even known they had, surrounding them and unloading several shots at him. He shouted for the demons to get close to him, and they did, waiting for the barrage to end.

“They weren't aiming for any of us, only you,” Pavonis said to him. “Why?”

“Yeah that is weird, they could have got some of us,” another commented.

Dipper narrowed his eyes, meeting Ford's through the barrier. Even his great uncle was shooting, his weapon considerably larger and more powerful. But the shots weren't able to reach him. The only expression on the man's face was forced determination. “They were only aiming for me because Ford is willing to sacrifice me if he thinks it will strike a critical blow against Bill. No doubt he sees it as a mercy killing as well. After all, why would I want to live in service to that monster?”

“Let's kill him!” Lyca shouted.

“We can't kill him. He's protected. But... we can take out the rest.”

When the humans ran out of ammo, Dipper shoved the magic outward and knocked them all off their feet. With a gesture, he sent his group forward to deal with them. The humans outnumbered them, but the demons had raw strength and durability on their side. They easily tore weapons out of hands, throwing them aside and then proceeding to break arms, kick and punch, rip gashes through soft skin.

Dipper heard the crackling of electricity and the roar of flames as the little rebellion was torn apart. He didn't look around to see what was happening to them, but judging by the screaming and the look on Ford's face, it wasn't pretty. He approached the man with deliberate steps, arms up and ready to cast a defensive spell if needed. Ford backed away, face livid with hatred. “You're not even human anymore. You're as much of a monster as they are.”

Dipper winced, heart clenching. But he continued backing Ford down. “I do what my master tells me to. He has given me more than you will ever know. I doubt I'd be alive if he had just thrown me into battle like I was when we first made the deal. But he trained me. He made sure I knew how to fight, and shoot, and survive. He gave me strength, and enhanced my senses and reflexes... he cares about me. And I care about him.”

“He's using you, just like he used me, and as soon as he gets what he wants he'll throw you aside too!”

“Considering that we're bound together for life and he said that he loves me, I highly doubt that.”

Ford's eyebrows lifted for a moment. “He said he... no, don't believe it for a second, he's lying to you. If you're meant to be with him for life, he'll probably just kill you as soon as he doesn't need you anymore.”

“But that's the thing. He does need me. He enjoys my company, he loves me too much to just get rid of me. And you know what? I love him too.”

“He has you brainwashed. You need to fight it! Snap out of it, come to your senses!” Ford searched his pockets, but apparently didn't have anything useful, because he pulled his hands out empty.

Dipper could hear the sounds of chaos behind him quiet, as the others finished destroying the humans and came to walk behind him. They fanned out in an arc around him, moving forward to keep Ford from darting to the sides. The faster ones then got behind him, so he was trapped. He bumped into one of the bulkier demons and jerked away, whipping around to look at it. Then he turned back to Dipper, finally showing fear.

“Please,” he begged. “Don't help Bill. You're so much better than this. You have so much potential.”

Dipper chuckled. Softly at first, and then it turned into complete laughter. Tears streamed down his face. “Don't you get it? I _had_ potential, but I've already fucked that up! I'm a war criminal already! Everyone knows I'm Bill's lap dog, they know I'm a prominent human in this fight, as one of the first to wear this rank and uniform, and simply from information the US spies have gotten. I would never be forgiven for this. If the humans win, I'd be tried and most likely killed. And if the demons win? Well, Bill will have his own plans for me.” Dipper hastily wiped his face off. He was surprised he had managed to get through that without choking up.

“You...” It dawned on Ford too. “You won't be able to go back to normal. You're right, I... should have thought about it. But you can still defy him. Not for yourself, but because it's the right thing to do.”

“Right and wrong are subjective. As it is, I'm stuck doing this. I... I don't even want to turn on Bill. If I tried to hurt him, as much as he loves me, he'd probably kill me. And if he didn't, then what? If I try to re-enter society, I'll be recognized instantly and arrested. That's if I'm not just shot or beaten to death by civilians. They would never trust me, and I wouldn't blame them. But with Bill... I can lead an exciting life. I can fight for him, as long as it takes, and in his world, no one will dare hurt me. Maybe I could achieve my goals then. But hey, I'm young, my goals might change. Whatever they may be, sticking with Bill is my best bet. Sorry, Ford. But I've made my decision.”

“So what are you going to do with me, then?” the man spat. “If you apparently can't kill me?”

“Well... first, you're gonna tell us where the rest of your rebellion is hiding.”

Ford was quiet, then he bluntly said, “This was it. You killed them all.”

Dipper got in his face. Has he always been as tall as him? “Really? This was it? The news reports made it sound like you guys were a lot bigger.”

“No, it's always been a small operation. We were just smart and destructive. I know how to handle demons.”

“He's lying,” about three different demons, including Pavonis and Rei, said.

Dipper grabbed Ford's shirt. “I think you should answer truthfully.”

“Or what? You can't hurt me.”

Dipper glared at him, but was mentally berating himself. He shouldn't have mentioned that. “No, I can't. Physically. Mentally, however...” He looked around at his team. “Hm, I know one of you could think of something...”

Ford struggled to pull away. Something occurred to Dipper. Bill's army couldn't hurt Ford per the agreement, but... did that mean even he couldn't hurt him? He was part of it too. As much as he didn't want to, Dipper shoved him away, watching him hit the ground. He let out a grunt, but didn't seem pained. Well it wasn't that hard of an impact he supposed.

 _Hey Dipper, that agreement is more of a symbolic thing,_ Bill suddenly said.

_What?_

_When my people see him, they just know that they can't hurt him. However, if one really wanted to, they still could. He's just... marked, I guess you could say. And since it's my mark, no one is going to risk angering me._

_So I could still hurt him. Even kill him._

_Of course! In fact I'd encourage it!_

_No. What can I do that won't kill him but will get him out of our way?_

_I don't know... freeze him? Put him in prison? Put him into a magical coma until after the war? Toss him into his own personal pocket dimension? Get creative, I don't know._

_Thanks._ Dipper rolled his eyes and turned to the others. “Okay, so you all see the mark on Ford, right?”

They responded with an affirmative, while Ford quickly looked himself over. “A mark, what-”

“It's nothing physical, it's a magical thing,” Dipper replied. “When we made the deal, a magical mark appeared on you to tell other demons to basically back off. While they can technically still hurt you if they really wanted, none of them want to. It basically says that you're under Bill's protection, so fuck off.”

“How nice of him,” Ford said dryly. “So...”

“So here's what I'm gonna do. I was gonna just send you back to the Mystery Shack, but something tells me you'll just run off again, and you may just run into a group of Bill's human troops that won't see your mark, and decide to kill you. For your own safety, I'm gonna have to take you into custody.” Dipper grabbed for his arm, but he scrambled back.

“You'll never take me alive!” Ford spun and kicked out at a demon's shin, and they leapt back, grasping it and growling. He shoved past them and took off running, reaching into one of his pockets and taking out a strange device with a dial on it.

“Someone stop him!” Dipper ordered. “Now!”

The others ran after him.

“I can't get a hold on that machine, whatever it is,” one reported back. “It's resistant to magic!”

“So grab him instead!”

“Also resistant, sir!”

“For fuck's sake, shoot the man's ankle or something, make him trip!”

“But the mark-”

“Get out of my way, I'll do it myself!” Dipper ran up to the front, thrusting his hand forward and launching a fireball at Ford. It hit his leg, and he jumped, missing his next step and landing on his knees. The machine fell out of his hands, and Dipper tried to levitate it, but as reported, he just couldn't make it move. Well that was annoying. But clever. He would have to stop Ford from using it, then. He used a blast of air to knock the device further away, and before Ford could get up, he hit him with an ice spell. Dipper hasn't practiced this much, but it did the trick, locking the man's legs together and slowing his movement.

Dipper jogged up to him, pushing him over onto his back and pinning him down with a foot.

“Sorry, but we can't let you get away. Now you're going to tell us where the rest of your rebels are. We'll even destroy them painlessly. Resist, however, and once we do find them, we'll make sure it's gruesome. Do I make myself clear?”

“You don't have the guts,” Ford claimed.

“Don't I? Maybe I do, maybe I don't, but that doesn't matter. My friends will have no problem with doing the dirty work for me. I think you should talk.”

“No.”

“You're so stubborn. I guess it runs in the family.” Dipper stepped on him harder. He could hear him wheeze. “Look, you're getting old, I don't want to hurt you. But I will if I have to. You're directly opposing me. If you weren't related to me, you'd be dead. As it is, I want to keep you safe. And once you give us the information we need, I will. We'll keep you somewhere far away from the battles, and you can just wait out the war. When it's over, we'll let you return to Stan. Sounds fair, right?”

“Unlike you, I would never betray my people.”

“Well you don't have to, because I got the location from your memories,” Rei suddenly said.

The others clapped her on the back.

“Oh hell yeah, now that's what I'm talking about.” Dipper turned to grin at her. “Send that info to me.”

“B-but, how did you... I have a...”

“Oh yes, the metal plate, yeah that was cute but I've encountered way worse. Getting through that was as easy as tearing through tissue paper.” Rei telepathically communicated the information to Dipper.

“Fuck.” Ford tried to move his arms, but the spell made his movement sluggish. “You're going to kill them all, aren't you?”

“Yep. Sorry, it's orders. We can't have any rebellions. But hey, we'll make sure they go out with a bang.” Dipper lifted his foot and cast the counterspell, allowing Ford to sit up. “I'm gonna send some of my guys to do that, and you're coming back to camp with me. I don't know what to do with you yet but maybe they'll be able to put you to work somewhere. If you don't cooperate then we'll just freeze you or put you to sleep. Either way, you're going to stop being a problem for us, got it?”

“I'm not promising anything of that sort.”

Dipper gripped his arm tightly, and nodded to one of the others, who did the same. “We'll see. Maybe Bill will be able to convince you. He always was good at getting people to listen to him. Let's go.”


	26. Long Time No See

Dipper assigned most of his crew to go wipe out the rest of the rebellion. Then he and Pavonis escorted Ford back to the base. The man struggled against them for a while, but eventually gave in and let them pull him.

“So what’s your deal, are you a human?” Ford asked Pavonis.

“What, me? Oh no, I’m a demon. I just use this form often. I didn’t feel the need to use my natural form to deal with you.”

“You were the one using electricity on my friends. You were killing them slowly.”

“They knew what risks they were taking when they joined you.”

Dipper and Pavonis first stopped by the wreckage of their Jeeps, teleporting them away so no one would find them and chalk it up to a victory against the demons. Then they teleported themselves and Ford back to the New Mexico base. They landed outside the gate and walked up to it, letting the guard check them out before finally being allowed in.

Bill was waiting for them right inside. “How good it is to see you back safely,” he said happily, flying over to Dipper. He gave him a quick hug and Dipper responded with a kiss, aware of Ford making a noise of disgust.

“The rebellion in Oregon is being disposed of as we speak,” Dipper reported. “This will be the only survivor.” He pushed Ford forward.

“Ah, Sixer, long time no see.” Bill ruffled up his hair, pulling his hand away before Ford could smack it.

“You’re not gonna win this, Bill!” Ford yelled at him. “Humans won’t go down without a fight!”

“Oh really? Well we are far stronger than you and humans are already giving up. There are ones who want nothing more for the fighting to just stop, and will be willing to live under my rule as long as they can, ya know, live. I’ll let them have their freedoms and stuff… And I’ll have my freedom to wreck shit and throw parties all over the world. Win win! Hey Dipper, what are we going to do with him?”

“I was hoping you could help me with that,” Dipper replied. “Think we could find some work for him?”

“Oh definitely, we always need people to clean the latrines and wash dishes. Hey Fordsy, how good are you at cleaning?”

“I can do it but I won’t do it for you,” Ford growled.

“Haha, that’s cute, but seriously. I’m giving you a choice here, you can tell me what you’d rather do, otherwise I’m putting you wherever.”

“We do need someone to empty out and clean grease traps,” Dipper commented. “Very dirty job, and that stuff sticks like glue. They could always use a hand. Or two.”

“Ooh, yeah.”

“I’m your uncle, you’re going to make me work?” Ford demanded.

“Well I’m your nephew and you tried to kill me, so be grateful. It’s either work or be frozen or otherwise put into a magical coma.”

“Yeah like six years ago,” Bill reminded him. “Stay gold, Fordy-boy… stay gold.”

Dipper and Pavonis laughed while Ford groaned.

“Hey I’m gonna do something, holler if you need me,” Pavonis said, letting go of Ford and reverting back into his star-shaped form. Ford’s eyes widened as he recognized his shape from Bill’s wheel.

“Wait, do you have something to do with Gideon-” he started to ask, but Pavonis had already teleported away.

“Yeah they have some history,” Dipper said.

“Especially in a different universe than this one but that’s quite a long story,” Bill added. “Anyway! Come on Ford, make your choice.”

Ford crossed his arms. “No.”

“Ugh, so hardheaded, you’re worse than a donkey. What do you want to do?”

“I want to have my guns back and be shooting all of you and banishing you back to whatever hellish dimensions you came from.”

“Cute but that ain’t happening. You need to make another decision.”

Ford grumbled something, looking entirely unhappy with this entire situation. He shot a glare at Dipper. “Can one of you just decide something already? Because I’m not offering any suggestions.”

“If we give you a job to do, would you do it?”

“I’d do the bare minimum I could get away with, for sure.”

“Then it’s not worth keeping you awake.” Bill blasted the other with light, and Dipper jumped away. When the magic dispersed, Ford was still standing where he was. Then he collapsed, eyes falling shut.

“Ford!” Dipper dropped to his knees next to him, but Bill was nonchalant.

“Easy, he’s just asleep.”

“What was with all the light, I thought you were vaporizing him or something,” Dipper asked as he checked Ford’s pulse, just in case. It was slow, but there.

“Aesthetic.”

Dipper shook his head and hauled Ford up onto his back, straightening up. He was heavy but not so much that Dipper couldn’t hold him. “I was hoping he would listen to us. He had to know that there was no escaping, and he might as well do what we say.”

“He’s stubborn. After the way I used him, he’ll never trust me again. Especially not since I still want to bring chaos to this world. He hates me.” Bill stared at the sleeping man, then scoffed. “I can’t say I’m particularly fond of him either, but he has a good brain on his shoulders, and I would have liked to have it working for us. But… he made his choice. Or lack thereof. Let’s take him somewhere.”

“He’ll be safe, right?” Dipper wondered.

“Of course. Though we can’t keep him here. This is a temporary base and moving him will be a hassle. I’ll just… okay the training base is well hidden and pretty much permanent, we can take him there.”

“Okay. Maybe I could say hi to Resk while I’m there.”

“Certainly. Ready to go, or do you need some time to recover?”

“I can manage it. Let’s go.”

 

Once Ford was safely settled into a bed in a medic tent at the other base and Dipper had finished greeting his old instructors, he and Bill returned to New Mexico. They were going to be quite busy soon. A national news association had finally gathered the courage to get into contact and ask for an interview. The demon army was terrifying to most humans but journalism must go on. Bill had agreed, provided he be there for whatever filming they choose to do.

The day before was spent discussing possible questions and the answers they would give, the information they could divulge, and briefing on what everyone needed to be doing while the cameras were rolling. Crews quickly finished repairing all the damage from the air raid, making it look as though the attack hadn’t even fazed them. It had damaged a crucial water tank but they weren’t going to mention that.

Dipper received a pleasant surprise in the form of formal clothing waiting on his bed: a solid red long-sleeved collared shirt, darker, almost blood red trousers, a black tie, shiny black loafers, and black socks. There was also an elegant coat in the blood red of the trousers, with pins shaped like the outline of a triangle with an eye in the middle on each lapel. His rank was now on the tops of the shoulders, shiny metal rather than the fabric of his uniform.

It also came with a light red cap and a thin black belt with a gold buckle.

“What is all this?” he asked as he admired everything.

“Dress uniform,” Bill replied. “Fancy, right? I figured you’d look nicer in that if you’re gonna be on TV. Go on, try it all on, I wanna see!”

“Heh, all right.” Dipper took off his uniform and boots, and started pulling on the new clothes.

“You’ll tuck the shirt into your trousers, yeah like that, get it good and tucked in, it needs to hug your body as much as possible. I got with Araneus on your measurements so I hope this fits. If not the tailor here is prepared to do a quick fix. If anything, something might be too big, which is easy to fix.”

Dipper got the shirt tucked in and zipped up his pants, looking down to see that they were already hemmed. He buckled the belt and slipped his shoes on, careful so as not to scuff them. The tie was carefully put on; Bill had to help him because he couldn’t get the knot right. He looked at himself, thinking he looked pretty good in just this. Then he pulled on the coat. It was nice, silky and gliding over his arms. He buttoned it, noticing that the three large buttons were gold and had triangle patterns on them.

Bill suddenly moved forward, taking a strip of metal and pinning it onto Dipper’s chest. The human blushed lightly when he slipped a hand into the coat to put the frogs over the points.

When the demon backed off, he nodded in approval and said, “It’s a name tape. A fancy one.” With a snap of his fingers, he had summoned a full length mirror.

Dipper was taken aback by how he looked. The uniform was cut to fit, slimming a little in the middle to accentuate his body shape. He looked strong, confident, and intimidating. Especially with this blood red color. He turned a few ways to check himself out, and then walked closer to the mirror, looking at his name tape. Gold of course, and engraved with his last name in bold script. On either side of the name was a carving of a pine tree.

“I know you don’t like the nickname, but is that okay?” Bill asked.

Dipper smiled and turned to hug him. “It looks great.”

Bill patted his back as he hugged him back. “I’m glad you like it.”

Dipper spent a few more moments looking at himself, adjusting the uniform, admiring the way it fit his form. As he turned to look at his backside, Bill even took a slap at his ass.

“Definitely looks good on you,” Bill commented, laughing at Dipper’s flustered blush.

“Jerk,” Dipper muttered, rubbing the spot. Not that it really hurt or anything. He smoothed his coat back down and turned to face the reflection again. “Should I shave?”

“If you want. But I like the look you’ve got going on right now.”

Dipper felt the scruff on his chin, and the stubble up his jaws, uncertain. Shaving was always annoying, he preferred just trimming, but…

“I think the facial hair makes you look older,” Bill said. “Not to mention, it’s sexy.”

Well that settled that. Dipper was keeping it. He picked up the hat and settled it on his head. It looked like a pilot’s cap, with the same type of brim and everything. His rank shone gold from the center of it.

“I look like a pilot,” he commented.

“You look mature and sophisticated. The cameras are gonna eat you up. And who knows, you might win us some fans. People are always suckers for a pretty face. And when you start talking… oh boy, the recruits are gonna be throwing themselves at our gate.” Bill flicked the brim of the hat, then said, “Alright, you can get out of that stuff. Be up and have it on by Reveille tomorrow, okay?”

“Yes, sir.” Dipper immediately got to taking the clothes off. As nice as they looked, they were hot and the collar of his shirt was buttoned high enough that it almost choked him.

Bill didn’t seem in any hurry to leave, just watching him as he placed the clothing carefully on his footlocker. When Dipper had stepped out of his trousers and was standing there in his boxers, he turned to raise an eyebrow at Bill. “You expecting something or…?”

“Nah, just looking at you. Admiring you. Fantasizing about you.”

Dipper set the pants down and went to sit on the edge of the bed. “Oh, you do that, huh?”

“Yep. I’ve spent plenty of time thinking about all the things I’m gonna do to you once I get a vessel.”

The human swallowed nervously. Sure, he had some experience now, but that was with someone much different from Bill. He got the feeling that Bill was gonna be a lot more aggressive. And he was going to _enjoy_ it.

“Such naughty thoughts,” Bill chuckled. “But yes, I’m sure you will. Just wait.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll let you get your rest now. See you tomorrow.”

“See you.” Dipper watched him turn away, chewing on his lip. Then he said, “Wait.”

Bill looked back immediately. “Hm?”

“Um, do you think maybe…” Dipper fidgeted, trying to scrape together the confidence he had found while propositioning Pavonis a while back. “Could we…” Bill was looking at him without blinking. Nope, confidence gone. Dipper sighed, shoulders slumping. “Never mind. It was stupid.”

“No it wasn’t.” Bill smiled at him. “I know exactly what you wanted to ask me. You wanted to do something with me while I’m still in this form. Because you love me regardless and you think it’d be fun. I agree, it would be. Mostly for you, but that’s fine, because I’ll get a kick out of seeing you enjoying yourself. And there will always be time for you to pay me back later.”

Dipper’s face was red, but he was intrigued. “So we could do… something.”

Bill set his hands on his shoulders, thumbs massaging his collarbones. “I can touch you, can’t I? Tell me, how do my hands feel?”

“Unlike any hands I’ve felt,” Dipper admitted. “But it’s not a bad thing! They’re really warm and they feel staticky. And light, like they could turn to air and phase through me at any moment. Yet solid too? It’s hard to explain. They aren’t really soft, or hard, just…” He gestured, and sighed. “I can’t explain but I like how they feel.”

“Good.” Bill slid his hands up, caressing Dipper’s cheeks, causing him to tilt his head. He used his eyelids to press a soft kiss to his lips, and then stroked his fingers behind Dipper’s ears and back through his hair.

Dipper relaxed at the touches, leaning in. His hands found and lightly rested on Bill’s sides.

“I take it you like this?” Bill asked.

“Yeah, it’s nice.”

“Good. I don’t have much sense of touch, I can tell I’m touching you and the texture of your skin and stuff, but not really any temperature or pleasure or anything. But I’ll be careful.”

“It’s weird seeing you be so gentle,” Dipper commented as Bill let go of his hair and ran his fingers through it again.

“I can be gentle. I love you, I want to make you feel good.”

“Well, you’re doing a good job.”

Bill lowered his hands to the human’s neck, and Dipper just let his muscles unwind, enjoying it. He wasn't sure how far this would go, but Bill seemed willing and he had ideas, so... he decided to just give in and have some fun. Considering how stressful tomorrow was going to be, he needed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a couple pages more to this chapter that I decided to delete just because they didn't seem necessary to the flow of the story, and it's what you're probably thinking: a continuation of Bill's time with Dipper. I posted it separately, here it is: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5767510


	27. On National TV

Dipper slept very well that night, but he was still regretful to leave his bed in the morning. But his phone alarm was blaring and he had to turn it off. And once up, there was no point to laying back down. He turned on the lamp, grabbed everything he would need for a shower, and jogged over to the latrines.

One very quick (and cold) shower later, he was returning to his tent and getting dressed. He appreciated that Bill had left the mirror here. He carefully did his tie once he got to it, and it turned out decent. Bill will probably redo it. He tucked his shirt in, buckled his belt, and slipped on his shoes. The blood red coat went on last. He sighed as it settled on his shoulders. He appreciated the warmth right now but he probably won’t later. Oh well, he could just take it off if it got too hot.

Once done checking himself out, he began fixing his hair, adjusting it this way and that. It occurred to him that he was about to be recorded and broadcast to millions of people. Civilians and military alike. What would they think of him? Would the military take him seriously with his hair like this, out of regulation as far as they were concerned, thus showing a lack of discipline and professionalism?

“You aren’t doing this to impress anyone,” Bill’s voice came from the doorway.

Dipper glanced over at him. “Right. I just… I _am_ gonna be on TV though, I should look good.”

“You look fantastic.” Bill came over to fix his tie and smooth out his lapels.

“Thanks. And my hair?”

Bill flicked Dipper’s bangs. “Tuck the bangs under the brim of the hat, but otherwise you can leave the rest exactly as it is.”

“Okay. I trust your judgment.”

“You are part of my military, and I say that hair has nothing to do with discipline. Anyone has a problem, they can just deal with it.” Bill took his hand. “Ready to go?”

“Hold on.” Dipper grabbed a few things, such as his phone, and slipped them into his pant pockets. Then he picked up his hat and put it on, tucking his hair in as directed. After turning off the lamp, he took Bill’s hand and walked out with him. There were already people about, getting ready to go, though almost no one wore anything similar to Dipper. A few colonels looked like they were, though.

“News crew won’t even be here till seven,” Bill said. “They’re airing this on the nine AM slot. Let’s get breakfast.”

Reveille played as they were entering the chow hall. Bill went to wait at the table, and Dipper grabbed a few of his favorite foods before joining him.

The human was nervous, though. He only took a few bites out of his pancakes before his stomach churned and he decided to eat a banana. He got halfway through before putting it down too.

Bill touched his back, rubbing it. “You’ll be fine. Trust me.”

“I know. I’ve just… never been on TV before. Well, I have, but that was always local Gravity Falls stuff, not national news from a big company that tons of people tune into every day. And you said there will be journalists?”

“Yep. Lots of them.”

“Right. …Hey, isn’t this base supposed to be hidden? Why did we give the media its location?”

“Because we’ll be packing up and moving a few hundred miles east in a few weeks. We’re done here. Gonna wrap things up, terrorize a few cities to see if anyone opposes us, and if it seems the United States military has fallen back from this area to regroup elsewhere, we’ll consider it ours and then follow them.”

“Oh, okay. So we’ve pretty much claimed this state?”

“Oh yeah. In fact I own pretty much all of America from the Pacific Ocean to the Rockies now. The governors have given it up. I mean the President hasn’t agreed in the slightest but who cares what that old man thinks.”

“Hey, I like him, I voted for him.

“Congrats. Democracy is still a sham. Anyway, come on, eat. You don’t want your stomach growling while you’re on camera, they’ll think I don’t feed you. We’re trying to get people to join us, here.”

“Okay, fine.” Dipper didn’t really want to, but he finished off everything on his tray anyway. He understood that he needed it. He nodded to Bill, who got up to follow him out. The dream demon had already spoken to all his commanders, while Dipper was struggling through breakfast.

They traveled through the base, making sure everything was ready, Bill talking to several of the people he passed. They were checking out the firing range used for training when Bill abruptly turned away. “They’ll be here in five minutes. Let’s get to the gate.” The guards posted around the perimeter would divert any visitors to where they needed to go. But it should be fairly obvious where the gate is.

“Who’s getting here first? The news?”

“Of course. They’ve got a van.”

They headed to the gate, and word got around quick, because almost everyone who didn’t have a particular duty right now followed them. The more the merrier, Bill supposed. He wanted to look impressive. The more troops he had behind him when the cameras turned on, the better.

Once at the gate, Dipper and Bill walked through, standing just outside the fence and waiting. Dipper crossed his arms behind his back and stood with his feet at shoulder width apart, chin up and eyes forward. Bill also put his arms behind his back, hovering close enough that one point just barely brushed Dipper’s sleeve.

They weren’t waiting long. They could see the van trundling up to them, with a number and logo painted on the hood and a satellite dish on top.

It stopped a good thirty feet away, and for a few moments, no one moved. Then the doors opened and people got out. One was a well-dressed woman with natural make-up and the other was a large and more modestly dressed man with a vest. He took out some keys and went around to the back of the van while the woman jogged over to Dipper and Bill, surprisingly steady on her high heels.

“Are you Bill Cipher?” she asked, casting a glance over at Dipper and then at the camp beyond.

“Yes ma’am, I am,” Bill chirped. He held his hand out, and though she must be nervous, the woman was professional and took it without a second thought, giving a firm shake. “Supreme commander of the demon army. And this is one of my most promising young officers, my trusted partner, Captain Dipper Pines.”

Dipper shook her hand, smiling. She seemed to relax at the presence of a human. Then she said, “I’m reporter Mary Chavez and I’ll be conducting the interview today. My cameraman, Josh Black, is getting our equipment out but he should be over any moment.”

“Is it just you two?” Bill asked.

“For now but there will be another crew coming to film the other locations you mentioned to us. They should be here soon. For now, I want to go over how this works.”

Mary led them through the intricacies of doing an interview on national TV, showed them some equipment, and went ahead and told them which questions she’ll be asking so they could think about the answers now. She reminded them of standards and practices and that their station _was_ family friendly, especially at nine, so of course Bill promptly said, “Fuck” and, “What do you mean I can’t call the entire human army pieces of shit?”

More vehicles arrived before they got started, more camera crews getting out, prepared for a tour of the base and meetings with other commanders. They wouldn’t be airing live, but rather documenting for later editing and most likely using it in the afternoon news.

Mary finally gave Dipper and Bill a gesture and had them stand in front of the gate. She took a spot next to them, and Josh hefted his camera up onto his shoulder, making adjustments as he looked through the eyepiece. Two minutes.

“I’ll be notified when we go live,” Mary said, tapping on her earpiece. “I’ll say thank you to the reporter back home who introduces me, and then introduce you two, and we’ll go from there. Try to keep it tasteful, please.”

“No promises,” Bill said.

The camera went on, a light indicating that it was streaming, and Mary looked forward, putting on a patient smile, no doubt listening to her introduction over the earpiece. Then she said into her microphone, “Thank you, Tom. I’m here today at an undisclosed location out in the hills of New Mexico, at one of the major bases currently being used by the demon army. I have with me Bill Cipher, the supreme commander who presides over the rest of the forces, and one of his officers, Captain Dipper Pines. Mr. Cipher, any statements before we begin?”

“Don’t call me mister, just Bill is fine.” Bill looked at the camera. “Well Mary, I am just thrilled to be here today, finally able to directly address the nation. No doubt many of you at home watching hate me and everything I stand for. Which is absolutely fine by me. But hopefully I can convince you why it’ll be in your best interest to stand down and let me have my way. Your world will change one way or another. My chaos will be unstoppable. You’re only delaying the inevitable.” He looked back at Mary. “So, you have some questions for us?”

She didn’t seem phased, but then again, she was supposed to remain calm in any situation, at least while the camera was rolling. “Yes sir, I do. First, could you tell us what exactly you’re doing this for? What are you hoping to achieve?”

“World domination, Mary. I understand that most people were completely unaware of the existence of demons until now. We were the stuff of legends, used to threaten children into behaving, to scare people. Only a select few have actually properly summoned and dealt with us… and such people are usually renown in their communities as recluses and outcasts, weirdos, no one worth taking seriously. Their encounters with us are never believed by their peers. But here we are, and the world finally has to recognize our existence. And we don’t play nice. Many of us are ancient, we’re vengeful and power hungry and aggressive. We want everything we can take, and when we want something, we get it. I am doing this so my people can get the power they’ve always wanted. And so I can use my own abilities to their full potential like I’ve always wanted to. But it’s no fun raining chaos on the world if there are humans that will try to stop me. So I’m eliminating that problem first. _Then_ the fun begins.”

“What will you do if you win?”

“Whatever I want. Blow up buildings, deface national monuments, rain fire, party, just wreak havoc. It’s what we do. But don’t worry, I won’t hurt humans just to hurt them. If you don’t oppose me, we’ll get along just fine. I’d be more than happy to give out demonic traits, let you guys party with us. No doubt you’re aware of my changelings. You could be the same. The captain here is one, after all.”

Dipper nodded. So far he has just kept a blank expression, waiting until he was addressed.

“So Captain Pines, tell us about your experience serving Bill, as well as being a changeling. Is it worth it? What are your goals?”

“Serving Bill has been an… experience,” Dipper replied. “He’s strict and to the point about what he wants from me. He sees a lot of potential for me as a leader here. He wants me to one day achieve the rank of general. Which for me only means three more ranks. But he won’t progress me unless I prove I deserve it. My next rank will be major. After that will be colonel. And finally, I’ll be a general. That’s my goal. Besides surviving, of course, but that’s true of everyone here.”

“How are you treated?”

“I’m one of the demons. I mean these guys behind the fence, they support me. It was rough at first, when I first started they thought I was pathetic and wanted to get rid of me. But demons respect strength, and once I got it, there was no more problem.” He looked directly into the camera. “Demons don’t hate humans by default,” he stated. “Get to know them, work with them, show them you’re unique and intelligent and willing to befriend them, and they’ll accept you as a friend. It just takes the bravery to actually talk to them. Most of them like companionship. Some are dorky and weird, some are confident, some are shy. They’re as diverse as humans. I love the friends I’ve made here. And if you join us, you’ll make friends too. And you’ll be protected.”

“How about your changeling status?” Mary asked. “Tell us more about this incentive.”

“Oh yeah. Humans that join us, whether from the civilian world or directly from the armed forces, will be granted enhanced senses from the get go. Sharper vision, more precise hearing. Fast reflexes. I have all that. Granted by Bill himself. You can see his magic in my eyes, the blue streaks. It’s thanks to him. Depending on who does your enhancement, you may have a similar reaction. But rest assured, it does not hurt, and does no damage. When you rank up and prove that you are dedicated to this army, you will receive more. You will be trained in a particular magic, usually your choice, and gifted to be able to use it if you don’t already have a natural ability. It all depends, but whatever you receive will be well worth the risk. So if you want to serve in an army that will continuously allow you to improve yourself, consider us.” Dipper held his palm out, a yellow flame lighting in it and flickering gently. He tossed it from one hand to the other, then rolled it up an arm, across his shoulders, and to the other arm. It didn’t even burn the fabric.

He put out the flame as Mary spoke again. “Very thorough testimony, Captain. Bill, would you like to give us that tour you mentioned?”

“Oh, absolutely. Follow me.” Bill led the way. “Pay no mind to the guard, he’s just gonna sniff you a bit, but he already knew you were coming.”

He and Dipper let the guard check them, and then went through the gate. Mary and Josh made it through, and Bill began leading them. He talked about the diversity of their forces, their many talents, answering most questions freely, though he did hide some information, like their casualty numbers and which of their units were struggling. He definitely used the opportunity to brag, though.

Dipper was starting to get a little bored. And with the Sun well in the sky, it was hot. It was halfway through September by now, he wanted cooler weather. Maybe they’ll find it at their next base.

At one point Dipper spotted Pavonis among the demons that were watching the tour and just generally making sure they were in the shot, and went over to grab his arm and pull him over so he was front and center. He was in his star form so he was considerably easy to tug around.

“And this is Pavonis, a psychic who has done excellent work for us,” Dipper said, smiling as the demon waved, though he did look a little uncomfortable with the sudden attention. “Whether out there fighting or helping us with an investigation, he is wonderful. Just wanted to give him a shout out.”

“You’re a jerk,” Pavonis said, pulling away and quickly fleeing out of view of the camera. Dipper blew him a kiss, laughing when Pavonis flipped him off.

“As you can see, the atmosphere here is surprisingly laid back. There is a lot of camaraderie among the troops, and whether they are human or demon, they appear to speak to each other with respect and friendliness. This is clearly an army which is already sure of its superiority.”

“Hell yeah we are,” Bill replied. “Wait, I can say ‘hell’ on the news, right? Is that S & P approved?” He looked at Josh, who nodded. “Hell yeah!”

“Like I said, we get along here,” Dipper said. “No organization can function without trust and cooperation. So friendship is encouraged between the species.”

“We may be creatures of chaos but we understand the necessity for an underlying order,” Bill added. “There are rules in place that keep us efficient. Once we win, we can dissolve all that, maybe keep reserves but that’s about it. Everyone else will be free to do as they wish. But hey, we’ll talk about that later.”

The interview only lasted for a few more minutes after that, and then the broadcast was returned to the news station for their commentary. After that, they apparently moved on to other topics, because Josh turned off his camera and Mary shook Dipper and Bill’s hands again. “Thank you for the interview, we’ll likely get in touch again. Now if you don’t mind…” She finally showed discomfort. “I’m gonna get the hell out of here.”

“Farewell, ma’am,” Bill laughed, saluting as she and Josh quickly walked away.

“Man she should not have worn those heels,” Dipper commented.

“Appearance above practicality I suppose. At least for a reporter. Well let’s see what those other crews are up to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formal uniforms may be uncomfortable but you look so fucking hot in them, it's slimming and makes you look imposing, mmhmm good shit A++


	28. Wanna Surf the Internet?

It turned out the rest of the news crews and journalists were walking around with commanders and interviewing random troops. No doubt for a compilation video.

Bill allowed it for a while longer, even letting them swarm him and Dipper and put them through a gauntlet of inquiries, but then he decided that any question they could possibly ask has probably already been answered, so he shooed them away. And he did so by summoning several hundred snakes of various jewel-like colors that slowly but determinedly chased them out the gate.

“That was kinda mean,” Dipper said.

“I was getting fucking tired of being polite,” Bill replied. “And of not being able to swear. But now… fuck! Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and _tits_!”

Dipper burst out laughing, and Bill gave him a grin with his eye. “Feels good.”

“Are you done?” Dipper asked.

“Hmm… yeah I think I’m good.”

Dipper unbuttoned his coat and pulled it off, draping it over his arm and sighing. “Much better. This thing is hot.”

“I bet. And you looked hot wearing it. In more ways than one.” Bill slung an arm around his neck. “Oh it’s so nice to hold you again! I wasn’t earlier for ‘professionalism’ but I’ve really wanted to. Hey what do you say we go get lunch, you can change into normal clothing, and we can look up the interview we just did and see what people are saying about it?”

“Sure!” Dipper was more than happy to spend time doing nothing productive.

While eating lunch, his phone rang. Seeing that it was Mabel, he answered quickly.

“Hello?”

“Hey! I just saw you on TV, you looked great!”

“Did I? I felt pretty awkward the whole time.”

“Well you didn’t look it. You were pretty bold-looking in all that red. I can’t believe that reporter wasn’t scared.”

“Oh she was. But she didn’t show it until we were done. She ran after that.”

Mabel laughed. “I bet. But wow, you were convincing! You almost had me wanting to sign up.”

“Please don’t.”

“Nah, I won’t, I’d rather finish college. A lot of people might be convinced though. Especially considering that offer of magic power and stuff.”

“Oh yeah, that’s usually a dealmaker. We’ll see what happens.”

“So that star was the great Pavonis, huh?”

Dipper could hear the amusement in her voice. “He has a human form too.”

“Oh I know, but still, a star. Huh. Well he looked very cute. Colorful.”

“Yeah, there’s a reason he named himself for the peacock star.”

“Heh. Yeah.” Mabel was quiet for a moment, and Dipper could hear the page of a book turn. “And… is Ford still…?”

Dipper of course had told Mabel about Ford. She wasn’t thrilled with what happened but understood. “Asleep, yes. And we probably won’t be waking him up. Sorry.”

“No, I get it, I just… wish you could have done something else.”

“Awake, he would be doing everything in his power to stop us. This is the best way.”

“Yeah. So… how are you and Bill?”

“Pretty good. We’re always getting closer.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“How about college?” Dipper asked.

“Oh, it’s all right. Some of its fun, but a lot of it is hard work. I never loved coffee so much until now.”

“I’m sure. But remember, cramming can actually be counterproductive. You retain information better if you study and then sleep afterward, so your mind has time to think about things and store it properly.”

“I guess but I just get so caught up in preparing for a test and doing homework that I kinda… forget to sleep sometimes.”

“Understandable. Just be careful.”

“I will. There aren’t any major tests anyway yet, it’s too early. But we’ll probably have some soon.”

“Yep. How’s your art class?”

They talked for the rest of the meal, and Dipper had finished off his plate by the time they finally said goodbye and hung up.

“Geeze, you two talk a lot,” Bill said.

“I miss my sister,” Dipper replied. “I want to know how she’s doing.”

“I understand. Just… yeesh. Okay, wanna surf the Internet?”

“Sure.” Dipper was ready to change out of this.

When he got back to his tent, he took everything off quickly and pulled on much more comfortable shorts and a t-shirt.

“I’ll just send these off to be dry-cleaned,” Bill said, picking up the shirt, coat, and pants and teleporting them away. The rest was set aside wherever.

“Okay, much better,” Dipper sighed as he sank into his chair, turning on the laptop.

It took a few moments to get completely started up, but he was soon accessing the Internet while Bill hovered over to settle in his lap. He rested an arm around the demon and kissed his back before clicking on the address bar.

“Okay what am I searching?”

“Let’s just go to their website, I’m sure it’s already posted there. And no doubt all the big news websites will be doing articles about it. We can check again this afternoon and probably see all kinds of things.”

Dipper searched the network and opened their website. Unsurprisingly, there was already a video up from the interview, and articles by particularly speedy journalists. He clicked on the video and settled back in his chair to watch.

He looked good in his uniform, standing confident and fearless next to his partner. When he spoke, he was sure. The two of them really were convincing. Everything they said had conviction behind it. This would almost certainly lead to a rise in their numbers.

Once the video was over, Dipper read the accompanying article, and then scrolled to the comments section. He wasn't surprised to see that it was comprised mostly of people criticizing them. A few at least seemed like they understood Bill's reasoning, though they didn't support it. Others were just being aggressive. Several people seemed to think this was a sign of a coming apocalypse. There were Christians suggesting Dipper was the antichrist and that this was surely a sign that the rapture would be happening very soon.

“I'm flattered,” Dipper said when Bill pointed out one such comment. “I mean they're a bunch of dumbasses, but still.”

“I know, right? Oh man this comment section is gold. Hey look, this one thinks you're cute.”

“Look at how many downvotes they have.”

Dipper scrolled for a while, he and Bill laughing about the comments, reading the ones that seemed to have intelligence put into them, and trying to get an idea of who all was actually siding with them. There weren't many, but there were some. A few commentators seemed to like the idea of getting magical powers. Then of course there were the military veterans or current enlistees who nitpicked on Dipper's physical appearance for not being up to US military regulation and claimed that someone as intelligent and determined as him was wasting his potential by serving demons. There was even a suggestion that he'd do much better in the Marines, they'd kick him into shape.

“I almost want to make an account just to reply to them all,” Dipper said, going back up to the top and clicking to the front page.

“That'd be fun. I'm sure this will be a trending topic soon enough. In the meantime, let's go to forums and check those out, there are usually much more insightful comments in places like that.”

It was pretty entertaining for both of them, reading long threads on various forums, Google searching their own names, even checking Facebook. And since Dipper did have an account there (although set to private), he decided to have some fun commenting on popular posts about the demon army. Since his name was pretty unique, and his avatar was a picture of himself, he was noticed very quickly.

“You're such a troll,” Bill laughed.

“I know. Look at how many exclamation points this person used. And caps lock!”

Bill leaned back against Dipper, chuckling. “The Internet really is a wonderful place. Oh look, that one doesn't believe you're the real Dipper Pines, even though your avatar is from a picture that's nowhere else online.”

Dipper promptly took out his phone and took a selfie of himself and Bill, and used the app to post it in response to that accusation.

“If we were in a US military this would be so inappropriate,” Dipper commented.

“Yep. Good thing we aren't.”

Eventually Dipper got bored, and Bill had business to attend to, so they decided to stop Internet trolling for now. Dipper decided to go work out, and he hugged the demon before leaving the tent. Bill teleported to wherever, and Dipper went to find some friends to go jogging with. He really needed to do more running. He planned on pausing to do push-ups every mile or so.

It wasn't hard finding people that wanted to run with him; he was fairly popular. Once he had three demons and two humans who agreed to join him, he headed out the gate. They were going to run out to the abandoned base, go around its perimeter, and come back here to run around this one's perimeter. A distance of about six miles. It will be strenuous but quite doable.

They went at a rather slow pace, talking about the earlier interviews and the reception they have already had. All in all they were satisfied with how they had represented the army, though one man commented that he didn't think it was that necessary. But he, like the others, understood that it was better to publicize their views than to allow the media to make things up. Of course everything they said would still be spun to fit the bias of whoever was reporting on them, but that was to be expected.

The group was out for nearly two hours, and at one point even ran across a vehicle that was trying to find their way to the base. They stopped to gently redirect them, saying that Bill wasn't wanting to see anyone else today. They had to submit to some questioning to get the journalists to leave them alone, but it was fun messing with them. Once that was taken care of, they made the return trip to their base.

Everyone was exhausted and covered in sweat and dust by the time they got back. They finished up with some abdomen workouts and then did cool off stretches before parting ways. Dipper rubbed his back as he walked over to his tent, wondering if he could talk Bill into giving him a massage. The day was still young, it wasn't even dinnertime yet, but he was too tired to do anymore exercise. He elected to take a shower and find something to do afterward.

Once clean, he put on casual clothes and walked outside. For a while, he just went around talking to various people and seeing if his help was needed for anything, and once it became apparent that nearly everyone was as unoccupied as him, he decided to go pick up his gun and do some target practice. Really he should be in uniform if he was doing this, but he didn't really care and neither would anyone else. He deserved to relax. It was too hot outside for those pants and long sleeves anyway.

Shooting took up a good hour of his time before he got bored with that as well. He was already a pretty good shot. He even stood up, pacing from side to side as he fired to get used to hitting a target while moving. He was decent at that. His sharp vision made it a lot easier. Once his target was torn apart, he had the overseer call for a pause in the firing, and walked out to pull the paper off and replace it with a new one. Then he stepped out of the range, firing resumed, and he threw the target away before going to clean his rifle.

 _Bill, I'm so bored,_ he complained to his partner.

_What do you expect me to do about it?_

_Tell me a story._

_About what?_

_I don't know, just... whatever._ Dipper grinned when he felt a pang of annoyance and amusement from the other.

_I am in the middle of a very important meeting with my colonels right now but I suppose I can spare some attention for you. So did I ever tell you the story about how exactly Pavonis and I first met?_

_No, I don't believe you have._ Dipper separated the two halves of his rifle and began taking parts out, catching the buffer and spring in his hand when he pressed the button to release them.

_Oh man, he had only been a demon for a few months by that point, and he was mostly just wandering around and practicing with his abilities. But he was weak and he couldn't figure out how to get stronger, so I took pity on him and decided to teach him about summoning and deals. You should have seen the look on his face when I appeared in front of him, haha! All demons can sense the strength of each other, and he has his aura-reading abilities on top of that. I was probably like an explosion to him. I showed up and he nearly toppled over himself trying to back away. He was in his human form at the time. He was in a sort of depression actually, trying to cope with his new life, he used his human form a lot to make himself feel better. But I introduced myself and he did the same, and we got to talking. And he soon relaxed and let me coax him into returning to his usual form. I answered his questions and he told me that none of the other demons really respected him, that they usually pushed him around so he had decided to stay far away from them._

Dipper was familiar with how demons treated those who were weaker than them, so he nodded in understanding.

 _I explained that most were like that, but not all. And I told him that I wanted to help him out. I taught him how to gain power, and gave him tips for improving his abilities. He appreciated it a lot, and he shook my hand and asked if he could call on me whenever he needed help. I was such an ancient demon that I surely must know everything, right?_ Bill laughed. _I told him I was flattered, and yes, he could. I know lots of things. So he began answering summons and dealing with humans, and I watched his power grow. He has remarkable talent. I've had my eye on him ever since, and when I started this army, I knew he would be perfect for it. He's lazy but he was able to put that aside to work for me, and I appreciate it._

Dipper was pretty much done cleaning his gun by now, idly wiping it off as he listened to Bill. _He mentioned before that you've had... other interactions, so to speak. When did that happen?_

 _Oh geeze, I don't know, maybe like a hundred years after we first met? I had tricked this sap into letting me take control of their body for a while, it's something I don't do near enough but it's always fun, you humans have such a sensory overload that it's incredible! And he happened by, entirely by chance he claimed, and was amused by what I was doing. He asked if I'd like to indulge in another kind of fun that humans have, and of course I knew what he meant, he had made a name for himself as a more seductive demon by this point, so I agreed. Anything to piss off my host. So yes, we got intimate. On multiple occasions, and I had a good time, as did he. It never meant anything. Eventually I had to give the body up though, and we haven't done anything since._ Bill was quiet for a few moments, distracted by whatever he was talking about to his colonels. Then he continued to Dipper, _But once I get a vessel, I'm certainly gonna hit him up again._

The human put his rifle back together, nodding. _I don't blame you. He's fun._

_Definitely. You don't mind, do you?_

_Nah._ Dipper was a bit of a jealous type, sure, but Bill was in love with him and that was obvious. Him sleeping with other people didn't cancel out that love. Demons were greedy and hedonistic. So Dipper could accept his partner having an interest for others. It didn't really bother him. _Just as long as you make time for me._

_Of course I will. The star is great and all but he's not the one I'm in love with. Which is good because he wouldn't love me back anyway. Hey, I really need to get back to this discussion, but good talk. I'll see you later, okay?_

Dipper smiled as he shouldered his gun and headed back to his tent to put it away. _See you later._


	29. Moving

As mentioned, Bill moved the base after a week or so. He waited for the logistics to be sorted out, found a good new spot further east, and then had everyone start tearing things down.

It was quite a workout, but luckily, the demons had magic to help them out. Tents had their contents labeled, removed, and put onto trucks, and then they were taken down. The hardened shelter and other more permanent-looking buildings turned out to be surprisingly mobile. They were unbolted from the ground and separated into pieces, which were also loaded up onto vehicles or simply put aside to await teleportation.

Dipper, personally, didn’t do much of that. He was sent to lead an advance team that would be receiving supplies and directing the setup of the new base.

In Oklahoma.

“There are a ton of other bases, so you need to be extremely careful,” Bill said. “I need to track things here, but I’ll join you as soon as I can. Stay safe, all right?” He was fussing over Dipper’s uniform, mostly just fidgeting, flattening out his collar and picking off strings.

Dipper chuckled and rested his hand over the other’s. “I’ll be fine. We’re gonna put up the protection wards as soon as we get there.”

“Yeah. Of course, you can take care of yourself.” Bill lowered his hands. “Well, get going! You know what I want it to look like out there, make it happen.”

Dipper stepped back and saluted him, and he saluted back. Dipper waited until Bill dropped his hand before lowering his own, then went to join his team. Grasping hands, the group teleported.

They were setting up in a field. Oklahoma was mostly flat, and though it had its share of big cities, there were lots of areas where one could drive for miles and only see farmland. And Bill had laid claim to this several acre large area that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. No houses or pastures or anything.

The first thing Dipper noticed was the wind. They were getting into October now, and it was chilly out. The wind made it worse. He had to push his hat a little more firmly onto his head. Someone else actually lost theirs and had to chase after it.

“All right, here we are.” Dipper looked around, glancing up at the Sun before turning to face north. “This way is north, which means the street they’ll have to use is somewhere over there.” He pointed. “Two people need to begin stamping out a path.”

“Yes sir.” Two big demons went to do so, crushing the tall grass under their boots.

“Okay, let’s get the fence rolled out and set it up, and we’ll work from there.”

There wasn’t much to do until the first supplies were teleported in. They set up the fence but didn’t apply the defensive spell to it yet; they may need to shift its position. This took long enough. Then one of the demons, who was skilled with nature magic, informed the group of the aquifer below them and said they could build water lines off that for plumbing. Dipper authorized them to get to it, teleporting the necessary items in himself.

The repeated magic use was starting to make him tired. He should put up the wards while he still had enough strength.

Dipper called over a few of the others, and they shared magic as they cast the protective spell. This would make it stronger as well, as it was made up of many types of magic.

Progress in setting up went slowly, until the first truck arrived from their old base, loaded with tools and equipment, as well as more manpower.

By noon, they had most of the groundwork done. Plumbing was well on its way, paths were stamped out, and Dipper had chosen locations for all the buildings. He consulted with everyone on this, and they came to an agreement to make it mostly like their old base, just with a few things rearranged for convenience. For example, having the tents go in a grid with the latrine in the center, rather than having the latrine way off on one of the sides.

“Maybe have more shower heads?” a dragon-like demon suggested; a recent transfer from an overseas base.

“Maybe,” Dipper said. “We’ll see about expanding the latrine, maybe even put up a second one near the workout pad.”

That was quite agreeable.

A human man raised his hand. “Sir?”

“Yes?” Dipper replied. He didn’t know the man’s name; he was also relatively new, and as they had removed their coats to make work easier, he couldn’t just look at the name tape.

“Would it be possible for us to have dividers?” he asked. “You know, for different genders?”

Dipper immediately replied, “Nah. Okay, some tents have come in, how about we start setting those up?”

Work continued with no major issue, except one person who got bit by a snake, but luckily it wasn’t a poisonous species. And then the entire creature was eaten alive by a snackish demon, a sight that was quite disturbing but amusing to watch.

“Hey, Echo,” Dipper called.

The dragon demon bounded over. “Yeah?”

“It’s your turn to scout out the area. Go up and report back on the location of any nearby planes.”

“You got it!” Her form shifted, arms morphing into wyvern wings, and she took off in a flash. Dipper watched her ascend, then returned to work. She was fast; she wouldn’t take long.

Still, it was around ten minutes before she made her return, landing and giving a small shake as she returned to her humanoid form.

“Nothing concerning,” she reported. “But there are US bases to the west. They could get a jet out here in less than an hour if they realize we’re here.”

“We should be shielded from an aerial view,” Dipper assured her. “But if they do see us, well… We’ll keep shooting their planes down until they stop sending them.”

She nodded and went to help unload the vehicle that just pulled up.

The vehicles have been staggered over the course of the day and have taken different routes to get here, and their paint jobs were neutral greys to avoid suspicion. The drivers assured Dipper that they weren’t followed. They looked like any other flatbed transporting boxes.

Still, Dipper was cautious. If the US military did realize what they were doing, obviously they wouldn’t advertise it. There probably wouldn’t even be any action from them for a while, since they would have to plan out the best course of action. And then they would attack.

The setup would take a few days once everything arrived. People might be moved to a different base, and they’ll probably get newcomers. Either way, Dipper was given a lot of responsibility.

Everything they needed was inside the fence by 1800, luckily. Once that was accomplished, a guard was posted at the entrance, and ten pairs of people were selected to take the lookout posts around the perimeter.

Everyone who was assigned to this base would be arriving shortly to assist with setting up buildings and tents. Luckily, most of the residency tents were up by now. That had been the first priority.

There wasn’t really a proper chow hall yet. They had dinner in the grassy area where the hall would be built, cooking on portable grills or with fire. It wasn’t the best meal, but it was acceptable. The hot dogs turned out pretty good.

Dipper was glad to see Pavonis join them toward the end of dinner.

“Yeah they wanted to send me somewhere, but Bill wasn’t having it,” Pavonis said, flopping down across Dipper’s lap and stretching. He was in human form, of course. And in uniform.

“Really?” Dipper began playing with the other’s hair. “Weird. Bill doesn’t usually get involved with that unless he’s really invested in someone.”

“Yeah, he said I should stay with this unit. Didn’t really explain why. But I think we know.” He reached up to touch Dipper’s face.

“Heh.” Dipper leaned into the touch. “Doesn’t want to break up the dream team.”

“It would be sad to leave you guys, everyone here is so great. But as far as I know, I’m stuck with y’all.”

“Glad to have you.” Dipper stabbed a hot dog on a skewer and began cooking it in his fire. “Want a hot dog?”

“Sure, I won’t say no to a juicy piece of meat.” The demon grinned up at him.

Dipper laughed, shaking his head. “Of course you wouldn’t.” He pulled it back once done, dropping it onto a bun and handing it to the other.

Pavonis sat up as he took it, merely leaning against Dipper. He nodded to the others who has joined him here; 8 Ball, Rei, a human who went by Brooks, and the demoness Echo. She had a longer name, but as it was a bit of a mouthful, everyone just called her Echo.

“You must be new,” Pavonis said to Echo.

“I am,” she replied. “I was fighting overseas before, but it got kinda boring, they didn’t need everyone who was at my base. So I got sent here.”

“I get ya. I think I’ve seen you around before, you’re one of the older demons, aren’t you?”

“Not that old. 1800 years, give or take.”

“Well hey, that’s older than me.” He smirked. “Of course I like an older woman.”

She leaned forward, gazing at him with interest now. “Oh do you?”

“Yep. I love your hair, by the way.”

She casually brushed her hand through the violet locks. “I like yours too.”

“You wanna… continue this discussion in my tent?”

“Sure.” She got up, and Pavonis gave Dipper a thumbs up before leading her away.

“Man, he’s good,” Brooks commented.

“Nah, demons are just really hedonistic,” Dipper said. “They can seduce each other pretty easily because they aren’t as picky about sex as humans.”

“Oh. Wait so could I talk one of these demon babes into sleeping with me?”

“Oh sure. Just be careful, because we can get certain ones pregnant, and they’d probably just eat the baby the moment it’s born, so…”

“Yeah, I’ll uh… be careful.” He stared off toward one of the grills, then got up. “I’m gonna test something.”

Dipper shook his head and took a swig from his canteen. “He should get some of this water, because he’s thirsty.”

Rei and 8 Ball laughed.

Personal belongings for the troops were soon located and taken to their assigned tents, and that was about the time when people started turning in. Dipper watched over them as they put out fires and disposed of trash, and things were covered with tarps in case they got rain. It was looking pretty cloudy, and the wind hasn’t stopped at all.

“You know why Oklahoma is so windy?” one of the troops had said during dinner, loud enough for almost everyone to hear. “Because Texas sucks and Kansas blows.”

Dipper believed it. He hoped they didn’t spend too long in tornado alley. If there was sufficient warning they could divert a potential tornado, but… well it wasn’t tornado season yet, he supposed. Maybe they will have moved on by the time spring arrived.

As Dipper was watching the latrine get finished up, he felt a soft tingle across his skin, one that he had learned to recognize. He turned in time to grab Bill, who had been sneaking up behind him.

“Damn, you’re getting good,” Bill said, struggling before letting the human pull him into his arms.

“You almost got me, but I felt you,” Dipper said.

“Yeah, those enhanced senses are really coming in handy, aren’t they?” Bill turned to inspect their surroundings. “Looks good here so far. Lots of boxes left to unpack, I see. And that hardened shelter… hmm I think we really should get it done before tonight, huh?”

“Everyone’s tired, they’ve been working all day.”

“Surely you designated a team to sleep during the day, so they could get up and work at night?”

Dipper blinked, then let go of him, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah. Well uh… I didn’t think about that, I just had everyone working to try and get things done quickly, that’s… my bad.”

Bill seemed amused. “Unbelievable. No matter, you’ll do that next time. For now…” He gestured with his hand, and all the pieces of the building flew up and arranged themselves, bolts screwing into place.

Dipper stared as the construction completed itself, then said, “Can you do that for the chow hall?”

“Maybe tomorrow. For now, we should talk strategy for how we’re gonna take on the bases around here.”

“Can’t we relax?”

“You can relax when the war is over. Come on, Pines.” Bill tugged on his collar. Dipper sighed and followed him. The work never seemed to end around here.

 

It fast became apparent that living here was far more dangerous than where they were before. They were found out within days; someone somewhere must have detected them somehow, because there were soon planes flying over them on a nearly hourly basis, and though there haven’t been bombs yet, they knew they were being watched. So far the demon army held back on shooting planes down... they didn't want to be retaliated against so early. Not much of their camp could be seen with the magical shields, they were sure, but the military was definitely trying.

They’ve even seen news of attempts to reach out to magic users to ask for help designing surveillance equipment that could see through wards. They weren’t having much luck with that.

“Yeah, magic users have been shunned for centuries,” Bill said in regards to that. “They aren’t going to come out to the government about their powers.”

When watching from above failed, the military resorted to sending in unmanned drones that could fly low enough to dip under the barrier. But these devices made enough noise to be easily detected, and also they were slow-moving. The demons had fun batting them out of the air and crushing them. Some people used them for target practice.

They still posed a concern, though. They could still be gathering intel in the brief moments before their cameras were ripped apart. Dipper, Bill, and the commanders doubled the amount of time they spent planning their attack on the extremely vital Air Force base, Tinker AFB. Tinker was one of only a few bases in the country that handled depot level aircraft maintenance that other bases simply didn’t have the resources and expertise to complete. They serviced nearly every type of plane the branch possessed, some of which were literally stripped down to their frames and all their pieces removed, repaired or replaced, and then put back together again. Electronics, sheet metal, computers, fuel lines, paint jobs, whatever needed to be fixed, it could be fixed at a shop somewhere.

Taking out this base would strike a critical blow across America’s forces worldwide. It was a huge base and well protected, but it was worth it.

It was decided to have humans sneak in. Don work casual clothes, act as though they were going to work like the many other civilians that the base employed. No one would give them a second glance if they confidently walked through a building as if they belonged there; _especially_ not if they were in Building 3001, the hub of the Oklahoma City Air Logistics Complex that had thousands of workers alone and stretched nearly a mile long.

Once spread throughout the maintenance buildings of the base, they would drop their coats (which were packed with magical bombs) in inconspicuous locations and make their way back out. The ones who knew how to teleport would do so. The rest would just have to hurry out and get back off the base, to a rendezvous point. Once all his troops were out, Bill would give the order for everything to be detonated at once.

“What about the civilians who work in maintenance?” Dipper asked. “Are we really going to kill all of them?”

“Yes,” Bill said bluntly. “It'll get our point across.”

“It'll turn them into martyrs. The rest of the world will be outraged. They'll fight even harder against our injustice.”

Bill laced his fingers together, studying Dipper. “So you don't think it will be demoralizing?”

“Exactly the opposite. Humans are stubborn. The more you threaten us, the harder we fight. It's just how we are. I mean, we can kill these people, but... I wouldn't feel right doing it.”

“Well you don't have to agree with it, you just have to do what I say. But if it matters so much to you... we'll have our guys pull fire alarms as they leave. It doesn't matter if they're caught on tape, they're never gonna be caught. And if they are, well... they know what to do.” Bill turned to his other advisers. “Anyone else have a problem with lots of humans possibly being killed?”

Silence.

“Yeah, didn't think so. Nonetheless, we'll do that fire alarm thing. That will get people out of the buildings. They'll probably still be injured but there won't be as many deaths.” Bill made a note of that, and gave Dipper a sly look. “It's cute that you've still got some compassion in there. I would have thought that'd be gone by now.”

“It doesn't matter how long I've been doing this. I'll never be able to just not feel anything knowing that people are dying because of me.”

Bill shrugged. “Ah well. We'll have what we want before you know it, and then you'll never have to kill again. Until then, stay strong, sapling.” He patted his shoulder. “Let's get back to the topic at hand, shall we?”

“All right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bldg 3001 stretches about seven-tenths of a mile long and covers 62 acres, totaling at a grand area of 1.3 million square feet. It is the third largest building owned by the Department of Defense. The second largest is the Pentagon. The largest? Bldg 9001, which covers a whopping 407 acres and contains 2.5 million square feet. Where is 9001, you wonder? Also on Tinker.  
> hoo boy :'D  
> Disclaimer: It is fine for me to talk about the base in this fashion. It may be a military installation but all information I'm giving on it can be easily found out online. So don't worry about me getting in trouble. This is a fictional story. No one is going to care.


	30. Out With a Bang

To say that sneaking onto Tinker Air Force Base was difficult was an understatement. It was damn near impossible for those without any magical ability. The base was currently on FPCON Charlie, and was prepared to go to Delta as soon as an imminent threat was detected.

There were more security forces, more vehicle checks, and overall more defensive postures being taken all over the installation. Even the non-security military members were on high alert, no doubt prepared to engage any suspicious people they saw.

Bill had small teams very carefully scout out the gates on the side of the base they would be attacking, and determined that sneaking in would involve one literally climbing into a vehicle and hiding under something, and there was still the chance of being discovered in a random vehicle inspection, if not by the driver themselves.

Their only option was to teleport. Dipper picked out people that knew how to do this, pairing them up with those that didn’t, telling them not to leave each other behind no matter what.

Demons like Pavonis did some scrying to show them the best places to teleport to without being noticed; mostly inside of the buildings, to restrooms or unused storage rooms.

Planning their routes took a few days. They wanted to lay low, see if Tinker lowered its defensive posture any. Of course, it didn’t. Not with the hostile environment the country has been turned into. They had no choice, then.

Dipper shaved before the mission. Everyone knew his face by now. But when he shaved, it made him look a lot younger. He took off his goatee and the sideburns, rubbing his smooth jaw once done. Weird… and then he had his hair cut. It has been getting long and he was fine with that, but it further altered his appearance to have it cut back. He brushed his bangs over to a different side and everything.

Bill even helpfully changed his eye color, turning them entirely green. He said it was only an illusion, but no human will be able to tell the difference.

“I look weird,” Dipper said upon checking out his new appearance.

“Yeah, you suffer from a bad case of baby face,” Bill commented.

“Hey.”

“But with your genetics, you’ll be getting a nice square jaw soon enough. In fact you already have one, but you still got a bit of fat in your cheeks. It’s persistent, you’d think it’d be gone with all the training you’ve been doing.”

“I also eat pretty well.” Dipper rubbed his cheek. It really wasn’t that chubby. Mabel’s were squishier.

“True. Well, you ready for this?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. Are the bombs done?”

“We’re finishing them up. I’m quite proud of these. Each has the power of one ton of TNT. So it’d take a thousand to equal one nuclear bomb. But it’s still a devastating amount of power contained in these little things. Those maintenance plants are gonna be blown to smithereens.”

Dipper nodded. Bill has already shown him a simulation of the bombs’ power. It was terrifying what condensed fire magic could do.

The bombs were the size of matchboxes. They could easily be slipped into trash cans and behind objects or even into equipment if no one was paying attention. And even if someone found one, well… the troops planned on getting them placed and then getting out faster than the police could respond.

The coat idea was mostly discarded, as dropping them would be too suspicious. But if there was an open locker or coat rack somewhere, by all means, a bomb could be hung from it that way.

Finally, at a few minutes before 7 AM on the fifth day of October, they were ready to invade. Coats were donned, given shakes to make sure they didn’t rattle, patted down to check for lumps. All good.

Everyone got into their pairs. There were a few demons along just in case things got ugly, but only ones with convincing human forms. Pavonis had volunteered, but Dipper had to let him down.

“Sorry man, but you look like a high schooler who dropped out and became a surfer.”

“I can shapeshift! Maybe! Let me see-”

Luckily, Bill had intervened. “Don’t worry about it. You’ll stay here and help me keep an eye on things.”

Pavonis had agreed, but said he was coming to watch the fireworks in person.

Dipper said goodbye to everyone, got his last orders from Bill, and turned to the woman who had been paired with him.

“Ready to go, Kim?” he asked. It was weird using her first name.

“Sure. P- Dipper.” She fixed her jacket and nodded. Both of them were wearing jeans and work boots. Grease stains and all. They would fit right in with the maintainers.

Dipper grasped her wrist, reminded her again of how to properly teleport with someone, and then called out to everyone to get going. He hoped for the best as he pulled the other with him, slipping out of reality and then back in within a second. It was still jarring, and his buddy nearly threw up. But she managed to keep it in.

“Okay, this should be a bathroom in 3001,” Dipper said, determining they were alone. “The men’s. I’ll go out first, and signal you if it’s clear.”

“Okay.”

He stepped out, glanced around, and then nodded to her. She took a bomb out, wrapped it in a paper towel, and dropped it into the trash before slipping out behind him.

They walked out into the main hall that went down nearly the entire front of the building. And they stopped to just look around in awe. It was huge.

To the left it stretched on for what seemed like forever. The same on the right. And in front of them were machines and airplane engines and scrap metal, people riveting and hammering and cleaning, and so many more processes than they had names for.

“Let’s not stand still for long,” Dipper finally said, choosing to walk left. He noticed that most of the people who weren’t working at the moment had their ID badges clipped to their chests. He sure hoped that wasn’t mandatory. They had a lot of ground to cover in this place and it wouldn’t do to get caught so soon. A couple other pairs were also gonna be dropping bombs in here, but considering the building had more than a million square feet in it, this would take a while.

Dipper paused next to an automated tool crib, a device that possessed many drawers filled with tools and personal protective equipment that workers could check out. He knelt down to pretend to fix his shoelaces, while actually slipping out a bomb to toss underneath the crib. It was low enough to the ground that no one would see it under there.

“We should really find a way to get some out there,” Kim commented, pointing out the docks where maintenance was being performed.

“We will. We’ll do this a row at a time.”

There was an entire gridwork of lanes and rows going down the length and width of the building. They strolled down all the ones they were assigned to, moving with such confidence that no one asked them anything, simply assuming they belonged.

They soon found that they had to wear certain protective gear to enter some areas, but that wasn’t a big deal. Earplugs were freely available, and they were able to score some eyeglasses too. With those on, they could get almost anywhere.

“If only we had clipboards or something, we’d look like inspectors,” Dipper noted, having seen an airman who seemed to be doing exactly that, walking somewhere with a hard case and a notebook. They were cutting right through work areas without anyone even glancing at them.

“Yeah, but so far no one has asked us what we’re doing.”

Dipper dropped a bomb into a trash can near an area where people were working up on the frame of a plane. They were close to one of the ends of the building now, where the walkway ended and it became marked as a hazardous noise area. They really needed to get out there, but there were so many people, surely someone would notice them… oh well. They had their excuses planned out.

They checked their safety gear to make sure it was still on, and stepped beyond the yellow line that marked where the hazardous area began. They walked past the planes, slipping the little bombs wherever they could. Then they walked further into the building, going to the next major lane and beginning their trek back down.

All the while, Dipper heard Bill in his mind, keeping him updated on how everyone else was doing. So far, so good. A few people in the smaller buildings were actually finishing up, and were laying low in bathrooms until told to leave, because every fire alarm needed to be pulled at once.

Dipper and Kim hurried up. Besides the teams in an even bigger building down the road, they would need the most time.

After about an hour, they felt that they had covered enough area. They still had a couple bombs, which were carelessly dropped to the floor and nudged under parked vehicles or against other objects. More noticeable, but it didn’t matter at this point.

The two checked in with Bill, who reported that everyone else was ready to leave. Dipper agreed, and Bill gave the order to get out. They left, and Dipper activated every fire alarm he passed on the way out. He was certainly seen doing that, but then he broke into a jog as the alarms rang, and got swept up in the crowd of people hurrying to leave the building. No one was moving too fast though… probably thought it was a drill, or a prank. He decided to speed things along, and with a thought, made a plane ignite. _That_ made people run.

It wouldn’t burn for long; it was mostly metal, without any fuel inside it. The fuel bladder itself likely wasn’t even in it at the moment. But no one would be thinking of that.

Once they were out of the maintenance area and into the halls that led outside, Dipper tugged Kim into a vacant office and teleported them away.

Dipper first dropped her off back at their base, and then he immediately moved again, going to join Bill, who was chilling on top of a water tower on Tinker. This tower was a good mile or so from the first of the buildings that would be destroyed. From up here, they could see 3001 on the other side of the flight line; the base’s runway that connected to all the maintenance buildings.

They could see the base fire department, its doors open and trucks already leaving to investigate the alarms.

In another direction and below them, they could see the various administrative and warehouse buildings. There was a set of hangars near here as well, which had military maintainers who serviced the E-3 Sentry AWACS, a highly unique plane used for surveillance and communications. Only two other bases in the world could carry out full repairs on them. One was in Alaska, and the other was in Japan. The demons would take care of those bases soon enough.

Those hangars had much more stringent security, as one had to go through a guarded checkpoint to go in and the airmen inside were on high alert for people they knew didn’t belong, but a few bombs had been placed inside anyway with precise teleportation. It was enough to take them out.

Those people were evacuating as well, as Dipper had insisted they be given the chance to get away. None of them were combat-trained, they were just maintainers. Most of them probably haven’t touched a gun since basic training.

Bill conceded, but said they’d probably die anyway; their alarms were triggered late and some people were still making their way out. Oh well.

“Did you put any bombs there?” Dipper asked, pointing over to the tanks full of jet fuel.

“Hm. I don’t believe I did, thank you. Do you have any more?”

“No.”

“All right.” Bill summoned one from their storage and sent it over to land in the middle of the tanks. The area was fenced in; no one would notice. One bomb was all it needed; the fuel was highly flammable.

“I guess it’s time,” Dipper said.

“Yep. I’m just waiting for a few more to teleport out, let me check on everyone…” That only took Bill a few seconds. Then he contacted the commander in charge of counting everyone back at the base. That secondary report informed him that everyone who had left was now back. The civilians have all completely evacuated. It was time.

Dipper was laying on his stomach with his arms crossed under his chin, and Bill rested an arm over his back.

“There may be some shock waves. I have a shield up just in case, but I won’t let you fall,” he said.

Dipper leaned against him. “Thanks.”

Bill hummed as he looked out across the area. “Ready? Brace yourself… bang.” With a gesture, he made every bomb detonate simultaneously, unleashing their destructive energy.

The explosion of magic was enough to make Dipper wince, shielding his eyes. As sensitive as he was to magic, it felt like his skin was burning as it escaped into the surrounding air.

Buildings were blown apart. Debris was hurled through the air, causing further destruction.

3001 was made almost entirely of brick and had no windows, so it fared surprisingly well, but huge holes were blown through the walls nonetheless. No doubt everything inside was completely destroyed.

The fuel tanks had a particularly violent explosion, unfortunately as one of the fire engines was passing it. Dipper flinched as the husk of a truck was thrown over the fence and rolled across the flight line, coming to a smoking stop. No one climbed out of it.

“They’re firefighters, they knew the risks,” Bill said dismissively.

Dipper nodded, forcing himself to look away. Everything that had been thrown into the air was crashing back down now. Most of the buildings in the area were brick, but not all were as sturdy as 3001 and had collapsed. The ones made of other materials seemed to have been completely torn apart, but they would have to get closer to see; from this location, 3001 blocked their view. They were high enough to see a little ways over it, but most of what was directly in front of it was its parking lot. Which seemed to be rapidly emptying out as people decided to go home for the day.

“Hmph. Not much external damage over there,” Bill said. “No matter. The inside is gonna be shredded. All their nice expensive equipment and planes would be turned to piles of slag.” He patted Dipper’s back. “Mission success! We should go check out the damage.”

“All right.” Dipper was looking at all the clouds of dust and smoke that were filling the air, but he got up, taking Bill’s hand. He let the demon tug him into the Mindscape with him, where both would be invisible to everyone else. Then Bill flew forward, leaving Dipper no choice but to step off the edge of the tower. For a moment he was almost scared, but as usual, Bill’s magic came through and he floated along with him.

“I wouldn’t let you fall,” Bill said.

“I know, it’s just instinct,” Dipper said defensively.

“Oh man, look at this place.”

The destruction became more apparent as they got closer. Walls stubbornly stood, but some places had collapsed. The ceiling had been almost completely torn away. Inside they could see fire and heaps of twisted metal; whatever hadn’t been completely burnt up was hurled against walls and piled up there. Of course, plenty of debris littered the floor as well. Such as parts from the much heavier and denser engines and frames.

“Man there is nothing salvageable,” Dipper commented. They were over 3001 now. Some people seemed to have been hurt in the blast, but they had moved fairly far away. The injured were being tended to. Most of the workers had cleared out, but some just stood in stunned silence. Probably due in part to the fact that several rows of vehicles near the building had been taken out in the shock wave so they couldn’t exactly leave.

“So that’s wrecked, let’s see about these others,” Bill said.

They checked on the buildings nearby that hadn’t been made entirely of brick. There was almost nothing left in these places. Debris was scattered all over the road, over the remains of other buildings, everything all mixed up…

There were gates nearby, and the security there had immediately shut off incoming traffic and phoned their superiors for help. Cars passing outside the base had slowed, some even stopping, as people gawked at the wreckage they could easily see through the fence.

“What's that building?” Dipper asked, gesturing to a two-story building on a hill.

“Seems to be medical offices, nothing important,” Bill said dismissively. A quick flyover of the rest of the base revealed the same results. Destruction and panic everywhere. All major maintenance buildings were out of commission. There were even Navy-owned ones a bit further away they had almost looked over, but luckily a quick Wikipedia search had tipped them off about it, so they had hit those hangars too.

“Great, we’re done here,” Dipper said.

“Yep! Wow, this is gonna piss off so many people.”

“We’re probably going to be bombed for this.”

“Pft.” Bill waved a hand. “With what? Haha.”

“They do have planes at other bases. I mean this is big but they’re going to retaliate.”

“And we’ll hold out, and destroy the other bases’ resources, and soon enough they won’t even have anywhere to take their planes to be refueled or given ammo or repaired. Once we cripple this nation, the others will follow suit. And before long we’ll have everyone giving in to our power. They’ll stop fighting us. They’ll let us take over. Imagine it.”

Dipper thought of Weirdmageddon. “That’ll be terrifying.”

“Haha, yeah. But not for you. You’ll be all right. Hell, by then you’ll probably be so demonic you’ll enjoy it.”

Dipper wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. But he agreed. “Yeah. Maybe.”

“I know this isn’t easy for you. But you’re doing an awesome job as one of my officers. You’ve consistently performed well with every leadership task I’ve given you. I think you’re gearing up for a promotion.”

That got Dipper’s interest. “Promotion, huh?”

“Yep. One more big success and I think I’ll be replacing those captain bars with some major triangles.”

“Why is the major symbol a triangle anyway? We all already wear a big triangle on our left breast pocket to designate ourselves as part of your army.”

“Are you saying you wouldn’t want to wear several triangles?”

“...Triangles on my lapels sounds lovely,” Dipper conceded.

“Great! You deserve to wear that, honestly. Keep working hard and you’ll get it in no time.”

Dipper nodded. He didn’t want to fight, but he did want to please Bill. They were in love. He would do anything for him.

“We should head back,” Bill said.

Dipper agreed, and they had blinked back to their base within seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the "two-story building on a hill" refers to my own office building. I couldn't resist. :V


	31. Making Progress

The military was beyond infuriated by what Bill’s troops did. And there was no doubt who was responsible. Even those who have never before felt the touch of magic could just sense that that was what the explosions were.

There was a death count, but it was low. Many more injuries. All way too many, in the government’s eyes. The media reported that retribution would be swift and merciless.

“Ooh, I’m really scared,” Dipper said sarcastically, watching one such report on the small TV he had obtained for his tent. He was laying in bed, one arm resting behind his head. At his side lounged Bill, who had entered telling him to change the channel about ten minutes ago.

“They are _pissed_ ,” Bill laughed. “We cost them billions of dollars. And now every other base similar to this one has raised their FPCON up to Delta. That’ll greatly impede their missions. This is great.”

Dipper slid his arm a little further around his partner, smiling at him. “We’re really making progress.”

“We are. But I get the feeling that things are going to get dangerous very soon. But after that, we can publicly make our point again. Tell people to stand down, or else. Look how much we already own. We can do this.”

Dipper nodded. “I’m looking forward to it.” He started to nuzzle the other, but only got a blunt edge pushed in his face. He made a face. “And I’m looking forward to you getting a vessel.”

“You can help, you know. Nothing is stopping you from just finding someone and dragging them back to me.”

“Maybe I will.”

“Good.”

Dipper gave up on trying to cuddle with Bill. He just returned his attention to the news, which had moved on to other topics. Boring. He changed the channel.

“Sapling, you really want to be able to snuggle me, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Dipper admitted.

Bill patted his knee. “I’m sorry. As soon as I get a body, we can. Whenever you want.”

“Well, at least Pavonis has a human form.”

“Yeah. You been with him lately?”

Dipper made a vague gesture with his hand. “Once or twice. Not often.”

“Ah. Do you enjoy it?”

“Sure. It’s just weird doing it without him actually being in love with me. I just… really want to have romantic intimacy too.”

“I get ya. Heh, soon, love.” Bill leaned against him, looking at the TV. “Let’s watch cartoons.”

 

Things were almost peaceful for a few days. The troops spent time training, tidying up the camp, and gathering supplies. Bill went around to his other bases, taking Dipper with him to show him what things were like elsewhere, having him give speeches to encourage the troops. They gathered more recruits and occasionally spoke to journalists. They did diplomatic stuff and threatened various world leaders.

They were certainly making progress, gaining more and more territory as Bill was allowed to seize control of various governments.

And then the Oklahoma base was attacked.

Dipper was jolted awake at about 4 AM on a Saturday by the sound of sirens. His sudden movement startled Pavonis, who had spent the night with him. Since he had expected today to be relaxed and all.

“Holy shit, I hate that noise,” the demon complained, covering his ears.

Dipper scrambled out from under the covers, cursing as he pulled clothing on.

“I was wondering when we’d be attacked,” Pavonis sighed, getting up too. He picked his clothes up, only to vanish them with a wave of the hand. He returned to his demon form and said, “I’ll see you in a bit. Stay safe.”

“You too,” Dipper replied. A crackle of electricity out of the corner of his eye told him that the other had left. He was dressing in near total darkness, which was fine; he had pretty decent night vision thanks to Bill, and knew where everything was in this tent anyway.

When he was completely dressed and had pulled on his armor, he grabbed his gun and several clips, hurrying outside.

He went to find Bill, but it wasn’t difficult to figure out what was going on; he could hear gunshots beyond the fence, the occasional whistle of what could only be missiles.

“We’ve got visitors,” Bill said grimly, giving him a small push in the direction of 8 Ball. “They were seen coming but they’re a fast and well-trained group. Our night watch went out to confront them and are having trouble. All of us should be able to take them but this is an army group; more may be coming. For now, get out there and kill everyone you can, and don’t die.”

“What will you do?” Dipper asked.

“I was actually in an early morning meeting with some of my higher-ranking humans discussing the possibility of exactly this. Well, now I best join them to keep them safe, because they’re not assigned to combat roles. I can’t lose these advisers. Go on, don’t worry about me.”

Dipper nodded and went to join his team, and in less than a minute was being led out of the gate. He checked his pockets as they jogged. He had his knife, and some magical artifacts in case he needed some emergency energy… He forgot to get grenades. Shit. Well, he was a good shot. And there was always fire magic.

In what seemed like seconds, they were in the heat of things. Dipper’s heart pounded in his throat, adrenaline rushing through him. This was still terrifying, yet exciting at the same time. Somehow, it was incredibly easy not to really think about the bullets flying past him. He couldn’t get hung up on those. Focus on the enemy.

Dipper slapped a full clip of ammo into his gun, took aim, and began shooting. He never stood still, constantly shifting his position, vaguely following 8 Ball’s lead, mostly trusting his own survival instincts. He could feel as bullets scraped past his helmet, sometimes grazing an arm, a few even hitting his torso and getting stuck in his vest. They hurt, but he ignored the pain. He could feel pain later.

He was getting plenty of kills. That was what mattered. That his bullets were bringing people down. That he was protecting his brothers and sisters.

This was definitely a well-trained unit they were up against, though. Dipper was seeing far too many of his fellows collapsing. Many of the US soldiers were brave, leaping in close to him and stabbing out with the barrels of their guns, but his reflexes were fast enough to get them first. And then… there was one soldier in particular who seemed dead set on getting to Dipper.

Dipper saw him approaching from a long way off. And yet, something kept him from just turning his gun and shooting the soldier from a distance. He glanced at him every so often as he tussled with other opponents, emptying bullets into them, striking them with the butt of his rifle, sometimes even moving the gun to one hand so he could kick or punch someone who got too close.

Then he turned his gaze onto the soldier rushing through the ranks with surprising speed, shooting his comrades and kicking them aside, furious eyes on Dipper. This boy was on a mission, and Dipper knew he was the main target.

The adrenaline pounding through his system increased. He took a few long steps backward, giving his fellow troops a meaningful look and some gestures. They immediately moved in front of him, forming a protective wall.

The rushing soldier plowed right through them, dispatching them with his bayonet and some well-placed shots, letting the rest of the creatures be felled by bullets from other soldiers. He reached Dipper.

Dipper leapt backward, and saw the soldier's finger slip into the trigger well of his rifle, preparing to fire at point blank range-

With a loud clash, Dipper slammed the barrel of his gun into the other's, forcing the muzzle to the side and down. It discharged with a bang that was painful to his enhanced hearing, but he shook off the disorientation as he had been trained to.

A strong twist of his arms, and Dipper disarmed the soldier, throwing the weapon to the ground. Not missing a beat, the soldier lunged in and grabbed Dipper's gun, wrenching it away from him and throwing it aside as well.

Dipper froze for a brief moment out of surprise. It wasn't a long pause; a second, possibly not even that. But it was enough. Before he could move, he was tackled and thrown into the dirt.

The young soldier began striking him with his fists, powerful blows, one of which snapped Dipper's head to the side and made a painful ringing start up in one ear. He grimaced and raised his arms to block, meeting the blows and landing a few of his own.

Slowly, he managed to wrestle the other around, and they stumbled up onto their feet, now kicking. Dipper was shocked at the strength of the other. He didn't look that old. Had to be early twenties. Tanned, face freckled, probably from lots of training in the sun. Dipper couldn't see much of his short-cropped hair under his helmet, but it looked light.

But though the soldier was strong, Dipper had something he didn't. Reflexes and strength gifted to him by a demon.

Dipper faked the boy out with a left hook, and then planted his right foot in his gut. The heavy combat boot knocked the breath right out of him, and he doubled over, gasping. Dipper moved in close and grabbed one of the soldier's arms, spinning and breaking it.

It had the desired effect. The other shouted out in pain and stumbled back, the arm hanging limply. Dipper smirked and reached to grab the other's collar with one hand, the other hand gripping the boy's uninjured arm so he couldn't swing at him. He had an idea.

"Impressive," he said, laughing as the other struggled. "What's your name, soldier?"

The other glared at him. "I'm not telling you anything."

Dipper carefully leaned down to retrieve his weapon, slinging it over his back. He also took the other rifle, for good measure. Then he called a few orders to the others, and made sure 8 Ball acknowledged that he was leaving, before beginning to walk backward, dragging the soldier with him. "Under Convention 3 of the Geneva Conventions, which you agreed to when you joined the military, you are obligated to tell a captor your full name and rank, and your ID number if you know it. You don't have to tell me any more if you do not wish to."

There was more struggling, but Dipper successfully coerced the other into following him. He kept a tight hold on the soldier's uninjured arm, but allowed him to walk next to him, after removing a knife and a couple grenades from his pockets.

"I'm Private First Class Michael Gray," he said quietly. His blue eyes stared blankly ahead. "I don't have my number memorized but I could show you my CAC card..."

"That won't be necessary, private." Dipper stretched a bit, letting himself relax as they left the true battle behind them. The enemy forces were decimated anyway. They may have had the element of surprise, but Bill’s people had swiftly outnumbered them once the entire base joined the fight. This wouldn't last much longer. Bill's demons were powerful and merciless. This was their element, they loved this. "I'm Captain Dipper Pines. And I am not part of any government so I don't have an ID of any sort."

"Captain..." Gray's eyes lingered on Dipper's lapels, just barely visible above his armor. He seemed confused by the gold glinting on the red fabric. "I thought I recognized the rank but it's a bit... different."

"Bill doesn't care for human rank structures," Dipper said. "He made up his own symbols. For captain, he decided on two diagonal slashes. Lieutenant was only one."

"Oh."

"Tell me about yourself, this is gonna be a long walk."

Gray was reluctant, but ended up telling Dipper about himself. He was twenty-two and had enlisted in the army three years ago. He was given infantry and had almost wanted to quit. But he persevered, and trained harder than anyone else in his platoon during boot camp. He was the fastest runner, and could do more push-ups than anyone else. He was also an excellent marksman. He felt right at home with combat, but didn't get to use it much because it was peacetime. Until recently.

Determined to take out Bill Cipher's most dedicated officer, he had offered to charge the demon ranks and get him. It had been allowed.

"It was a good attempt," Dipper said. "I'm impressed you made it. And you are very strong. I was just stronger."

Gray grumbled something under his breath.

"I didn't really want to fight either," Dipper said. "But it wasn't really by choice. Bill forced me." He could sense that he had the other's attention. "We knew each other before. I've known him since I was twelve. And recently, he came to me to tell me about his plan to do... well, all of this. He knew there would be war. And he saw potential in me. He wanted me to be his general."

"General," Gray muttered.

"Yeah. I refused. I didn't want to fight, but... he threatened me. Said he would kill me and my whole family like anyone else. But if I serve him, he would keep them safe. They wouldn't be harmed. I have a twin sister I love very much. I love my parents, and my great uncles. I wanted to protect them. So I agreed to Bill's demands. But I wasn't going to be his general. I'm too young, too inexperienced. Would you respect me as a leader, even if there were stars on my lapels?"

Gray shook his head honestly. "Not really."

"Exactly. So I told him I'll start at a lower rank and work up to general. He agreed, and I just Googled the officer ranks. He took a look and simplified them, and made up his own symbols. I started as a lieutenant. Now I'm a captain. After this is major, which will be a golden triangle. Then colonel, with a gold bat instead of the bird. And for general... A big gold star on each lapel."

"Hm. Only five ranks?"

"Yeah."

"Interesting."

Dipper looked up as a demon with large wings swooped down in front of him.

"Pines!" it called, right hand raising in a salute, sharp teeth bared as it grinned.

"Soldier," Dipper acknowledged, saluting back.

"The enemy forces are retreating," it announced. "We flipped the army's vehicles. Some of the flyers firebombed their RPG launchers. There's so few of them left! Permission to kill them as they run?"

Dipper hesitated, evaluating the situation. He still wasn’t used to being asked for orders like this. Then he said, "If someone is retreating, don't kill them. If they stop and turn back, do what you think is needed. This could be to lull us into a false sense of security, so make sure everyone stays alert. Pull back who you can, but have guards out. And make sure you're watching the skies because the Air Force is a serious pain in the ass and they will take us out if you let their planes get too close."

"Got it! I'll have air patrols, we'll use magical interference on their radar and destroy the planes that get within five miles of main camp! Thank you, sir!" The demon saluted again and flew off, pulling what looked like cherry bombs out of its pockets.

"That was one of the demon commanders," Dipper explained. "Great guy. Now then. Keep walking."

Gray continued following him. He no longer seemed to be in pain from his arm. Likely ignoring it.

"I didn't think you took prisoners," he said sullenly, aware of the hostile looks he was receiving.

"We usually don't. But you caught my eye. I think Bill will have use for you."

The soldier didn't talk any more, just letting himself be led. When they reached the base, Dipper smiled for the guard at the entry control point, holding out his hand to it.

The demon seized his wrist and turned his palm up, making a decent sized nick in the skin and then smelling the blood that rose up. It nodded, satisfied.

"He's with me," Dipper explained about Gray, casually applying pressure to his palm. Just to stop the blood; the wound was already healing over. A combination of his own regenerative abilities, and the guard's saliva being a fast acting sealant.

The demon walked over to sniff the soldier, but didn't cut him. It was just memorizing his scent. Then it returned to its post and waved them through, taking on a defensive stance once more, eyes trained on the distant battle.

"Thanks, Gaargeth," Dipper said as he started walking.

"Demons, why did it have to be fucking demons," Gray muttered. "I'd rather have crazy Koreans or suicidal Muslims or something, but literal fucking _demons_ -"

"Yeah, it's fairly unorthodox. Now spare me the racism. Bill's tent is right there."

Gray fell silent, apprehension on his features as they approached the largest structure in the base, save for the rations and weapons pavilions of course.

When they reached the entrance, Dipper said, "You are to stand right here and not move. Rest assured, if you try to make a run for it, you'll be killed in about ten different, incredibly painful fashions."

"Yes, sir," Gray responded, with a disgusted sneer. He stood up straight and looked out across the camp with a blank expression.

Dipper ducked into the tent. "Cipher," he called.

Bill looked up. His hands were up as he projected a live image of the US Army retreating, being watched by his advisers. All human as Bill had said earlier, ex-American-military even, and thus knew tactics and could make accurate assessments of what their enemies were planning.

Convincing such loyal soldiers to switch sides had been difficult but worth it.

"Yes, Pines?" Bill replied.

Dipper strode forward confidently, tugging his helmet off and running his fingers through his hair casually. "May I speak to you alone?"

Bill considered, then nodded and lowered his hands. The image faded, and he turned to his subordinates. "You're dismissed."

As they walked toward the door, Dipper informed them, "There's an injured US soldier standing outside. Do not harm him."

Once they were outside, Bill relaxed. His professional demeanor dropped, and he floated forward to grasp Dipper's cheeks and turn his head about, examining him. "You look good. Any injuries out there? Your face seems a bit dirty, but..."

"No, I'm okay. Got pummeled a bit by someone's fists, took some bullets but none reached skin I think. Otherwise, I'm okay."

"Good. Every time you go out there, I worry that you'll never return." Bill held him close, and Dipper chuckled and rested his forehead against the other, just above his eye.

"You've given me incredible strength. I'll be okay."

"It's easy to say that, but you never know. You're becoming a prime target. One day, a sniper could just..." Bill paused, then said, "Well, no point talking about possibilities. Did you need something?"

"Not exactly, but... I have something for you." Dipper turned around and barked, "Gray, get in here!"

He almost expected there to be no response, for the human to have chosen death over being a prisoner and attempted to flee. But after a moment, the door opened and the soldier walked in. He was cradling his broken arm, but let go of it and stood up straight as he marched toward them. He paused, looking nervous at the sight of Bill.

"Come closer," Dipper ordered, and he did so. Once close enough, Dipper grasped his shoulder and said to Bill, "This is Private First Class Michael Gray. Part of the infantry. He charged our ranks earlier just to get to me. And he's very well-trained and strong. He managed to disarm me after I disarmed him, and then we sparred for several minutes. Never quite met someone with as much hand-to-hand combat skill as him."

"Is that so? You held your own against my Pines, huh?" Bill circled Gray, who watched him out of the corners of his eyes but didn't turn his head to follow him. He only flinched slightly when the demon's hand touched his chin, and that was probably more out of surprise at the texture and temperature. "Impressive." Bill's fingers found the clasp for Gray's helmet and undid it. "Let's take a look at you."

A few more moments and the helmet was off, revealing tousled blonde hair, darker at its roots and sun bleached the further out it went. It wasn't that long, though. Standard military haircut; it only stuck out about an inch and hardly brushed the tops of his ears. Technically out of regulation already, but considering it was wartime, no doubt there were more things to worry about than regularly going to the barber.

"So, why have you brought a prisoner?" Bill asked curiously, thumb brushing over a small cut on the young man's cheek. "That's not our usual protocol."

"I know, but it seemed a shame to kill someone this talented. After all... you wanted a host, didn't you?"

Bill's eye shifted to Dipper, intense now. "You brought me this soldier as a potential vessel?"

Dipper smiled and nodded. "He's everything you wanted. Tall, strong, intimidating... and if he was accepted into the military, you know he's healthy. Plus... he told me he was never really on good terms with his family so... it's not like he'll be missed much."

Gray stiffened. "Vessel? Host? S-sirs?"

Bill lowered his hand, a mouthless smile on his face. "Well yes, I _am_ a demon, Gray. I can possess people. And while this form is great, it's not entirely suited for certain things. Which is why I wanted a human body."

"You want... to possess me?"

"I'm considering it. Pines must have thought highly of you if he took you prisoner instead of giving you a quick death." Bill's eye lingered on the soldier's broken arm, and then he grasped it. "Hold still."

Gray hissed in pain, but didn't fight as the arm was straightened out, bone roughly pushed back together. Bill's hands glowed blue with magic, the energy pulsing through Gray's uniform, spreading up and down his arm. A few seconds later, Bill let go.

Stunned, Gray moved his arm. It flexed with no issues. "Huh?"

"Healing magic," Bill explained. "I fixed your arm. You're welcome."

"I... thank you, but why-"

"If I'm going to use your body I don't want it to be damaged. Dipper, I'm impressed. I think he'll be perfect."

"I'm glad you approve."

Bill rolled his shoulders and reached out to the soldier. "When I possess someone, it requires me to remove their soul from their body. And once your soul is out, you can still follow me around and harass me, and I really don't want to deal with that. So... this is pretty much it for you."

Gray stared at him. "I don't understand... Are you going to kill me?"

"Your body will keep living. But you might as well be dead. Because I'm going to consume your soul." Bill's fingers slipped under the other's collar, finding his dog tags and removing them. "Don't worry, we'll make sure your unit is notified. There will be a funeral for you. There just won't be a body."

Gray looked confused and horrified, but he didn't try to run. He didn't shake, just watching as Bill handed the chain off to Dipper, who stowed it in a pocket.

"Dying isn't that bad," Bill said. "Not like this. You simply stop existing. Once I do it, you'll never be aware of anything ever again. Also all religion is wrong and there is no heaven or hell so you don't have to worry about that." He seized Gray's hand and yanked hard.

Dipper felt a flare of magic, and saw the other's body convulse as Bill disappeared from view. He almost felt another presence before it abruptly vanished, and the body collapsed.

"Bill?" Dipper asked with concern, starting to kneel down.

Then the eyes opened, still blue but their shade more vibrant. A grin split the other's face. "Oh man, it has been too long!"

"Are you in there, Bill?" Dipper grabbed his hand and hauled him to his feet.

"Absolutely! Wow, this body is strong! I like it already! Good eyesight, hearing is decent... very good! My mouth is dry and tastes like sand, but that's fixable! Dipper, thank you!"

"You're welcome." Dipper smiled at Bill's enthusiasm. "So, did you eat Gray's soul?"

"Sure did, and what a fighter it was. But it's mine now." Bill began shedding articles from his body. He threw aside the heavy protective vest, and removed everything he could from every pocket on his pants and blouse. He laid the items out on a table as he did. Dipper put down the weapons he had removed from Gray as well.

Once Bill had taken everything out, he said, "I'll have someone come take care of those. Now then..." He turned to Dipper, smiling and reaching out to touch his face. He laughed. "Man, touching you is so much different in this body! It feels like there's a... a static between us! You're really warm too. Hm, you kinda need a shower, though."

"Probably," Dipper agreed, aware of his heart pounding. Luckily the stress of the battle had already made his face flushed, so Bill probably wouldn't notice that he was blushing. His cheeks certainly felt hot to him, though.

Especially when Bill's smile faded, a more curious expression on the demon's face now. His eyes traced over Dipper's features, taking it all in. The stress lines under his eyes, the small cracks in his chapped lips, the contour of his cheekbones. Then the smile returned, and Bill whispered, "Can I kiss you?"

Dipper’s heart leaped. Finally. He’s been wanting to share a mutual kiss with him for so long, this was really happening, it was really sinking in now, Bill could _touch him_. "Yeah," he breathed. Talking any louder seemed inappropriate.

Breath tickled his lips, and then his mouth was gently covered by Bill's. It was strange, unnerving; Dipper still associated this body with that brave soldier, and he almost pulled away. Then he remembered that Gray was gone, and this was entirely Bill. And would forever be Bill.

With a soft hum, he applied pressure back, but their noses squished together and Bill leaned back with a huff.

"Noses," he said with a grimace.

Dipper laughed and took Bill's head in his hands, admiring the features of his host body. This really was a good-looking man. His looks fit Bill pretty well. "Like this," he informed him, before tilting Bill's head to one side. He tilted his the other way, and kissed him.

This was much more comfortable, and Bill liked the change immediately. He leaned in, sighing as he kissed back. Their eyes slipped closed, hands moving down to grip each other's shoulders.

When they separated, their cheeks were noticeably flushed. More than the heat could take blame for.

"I’ve been wanting to do this.” Bill confessed. "Ever since you first talked me into kissing you with my natural form, and I wanted to really be able to feel you.”

"Me too. I wanted to do this, I wanted you to feel it too." Dipper wanted to kiss him again. His heart almost ached for more contact, and he reached down to take Bill's hands in his, gently removing their respective gloves so he could touch his skin. The soldier's hands were rough, calloused. But warm. The rest of their bodies were covered with their uniforms. This was the best they could manage.

Bill smiled at the touch and looked down at their clasped hands, then said, "This body is great. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I love you.”

Dipper smiled, stomach fluttering. “I love you too.”

Bill nuzzled him and planted a kiss on his jaw, then let go and turned toward the door. "Let's go get a proper uniform for me. And then we can meet with all of our returning troops and let them see the new body. After that, a hearty breakfast. And then you’ll need to go to the medical tent, because even if no bullets hit skin you probably have bruises. After that, we’ll do our usual post-battle debrief, reorganize and see where to go from here, and eventually tonight…” Bill’s eyes flicked over Dipper with a whole new kind of interest, the attention making the human swallow, nervous but strangely anticipatory. “Some much needed relaxation. This is our down day after all.”

Dipper took Bill’s hand. “I can’t wait.”


	32. Like a Normal Couple

The demon side took its fair share of casualties, but in the end, they won as they always do. Bill went to speak with his commanders and Dipper decided to stop by the medical tent. It was crowded of course but someone made time to see Dipper. They got him out of his uniform and checked him over for bruises, which he had plenty of. A quick spell and some medicinal cream to the areas, and he was being practically pushed back out so someone else could take his bed. He didn’t complain.

He dropped his clothes off at the tailor to be patched up, and returned to his tent, grabbing regular clothes and going to take a shower. The warm water felt good on his injuries. He really could go for a bath some time, though.

Dipper was just standing under the spray, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, when he heard Bill in his mind. _Kid, you awake?_

 _Mm._ Dipper opened his eyes, blinking water away. _Yeah._

_Good, I’m finished up. Come meet me at the command tent._

_Okay._ Dipper straightened up, stretching as he let the water rain on him one more time. Then he turned it off and got out, retrieving his towel.

Once dried, dressed, and groomed, he went to meet Bill. The command tent also had a small room for a bedroom, though until now Bill hasn’t really needed it. Dipper found him in there, checking himself out in a mirror as he buttoned up a shirt.

“Good-looking body, isn’t it?” he asked.

Dipper gave a little start; he still wasn’t used to the body’s voice in the place of Bill’s. But Bill still used the same tone, so it wasn’t that hard to recognize it as his. “Yeah, very good.” He stepped up next to him, checking him out. The shirt was short-sleeved so Dipper could see the other’s thick muscles, and though Bill was wearing pants, they were a bit tighter fitting than the uniform Gray had worn, so Dipper was more than aware of how strong his legs were.

“You chose well. I like this vessel.” Bill finished buttoning the shirt, leaving the top button undone. He slid his hands along his own thighs. “Well built, healthy, with a nice ass. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Dipper found himself staring at said butt, the way it looked in those black jeans. He casually cupped it with his palm. “Very nice ass.”

Bill smirked and turned to face him, arms wrapping around Dipper’s neck. “I can’t take credit for it, but thanks.” He kissed him. At some point he must have brushed his teeth, because he tasted like cinnamon. Dipper kissed back, arms tightening around his hips. The contact sent his heart fluttering, stomach doing happy flips. Finally touching his boyfriend properly, hugging him, kissing him in a way that he could enjoy too… this was so satisfying.

Part of Dipper wanted to pick the demon up, set him on his hip, possibly pin him to the wall or down on that elegantly made bed… well, maybe not the wall, since it was just stiff fabric and would have too much give to it. But the bed…

The human tightened his grip, then loosened it. No, they could do that later. He leaned back, chuckling at how red Bill’s face was. His fingers drifted through Bill’s short hair.

“You’re going to grow this out, right?” he asked.

Bill nodded. “Oh, hell yeah. This is way too short.” He ruffled his own hair, scowling at his reflection. “Damn human military regulations… it’ll take months getting this to an acceptable length. I can’t even style this, it’s just…” He sighed. “Whatever. I like the color, at least. Blonde hair is nice.” He looked back at Dipper, smiling. “Now what?” He gave a little wiggle, and Dipper thought that maybe he would like to continue getting intimate. But then his stomach growled.

“Breakfast,” Dipper declared. “We gotta show you off to everyone.”

“Very well. Let’s go get breakfast.” Bill took his hand, slipping a pair of shoes on before leading him out.

Both of them got huge omelets for breakfast, and toast, and orange juice; the cooks were going all out today. And for good reason; they won. This was a celebration. Lunch would probably be barbecue. And steak for dinner. That was usually how it went.

When Dipper and Bill sat at their table in the front of the room, positioned on a raised platform that ensured everyone could see them, the room burst into applause.

“Yes, hello, everyone!” Bill called happily. Then he paused, rubbing his throat. “Damn human voice, doesn’t magnify like my normal one…” Dipper slid a microphone over to him. He snatched it up and turned it on. “Can you hear me now? Oh yes, that’s much better. Good morning! What a fun way to get our exercise right in the morning, huh?”

The others laughed and hooted.

“Haha, yeah. Hey, you guys were great out there. It was another great battle, we crushed our enemy. We are making amazing progress and I would like to thank all of you for standing by me. And if you haven’t figured out who I am yet, I’m Bill Cipher! My partner finally got me a vessel! You have the captain here to thank for it!” He pointed to Dipper, who waved as everyone clapped. “Of course he got me a looker, haha. So yes, don’t mind the weird voice, it’s just what this human sounded like. I’ll try to fix it to sound more like myself, but in the meantime, this voice will do fine. I expect the same amount of respect out of everyone, whether I’m using this vessel or in my natural form, got it? Good. Let’s enjoy our breakfast.”

A few of their closer friends came up to speak with them, congratulating Bill on the vessel, teasing Dipper a bit about how attractive it was.

Especially Pavonis. The psychic was in human form, as he had wanted to eat breakfast, and he was clearly into Bill’s appearance. He complimented him on it, saying he loved his eyes, and even felt his bicep.

“You’re so lucky,” he said enviously to Dipper. “Tell me how he is, okay?”

“Why should he have to tell you?” Bill asked. “You can sleep with me too.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Dipper won’t mind. It’s been a while since we’ve been intimate. I’d like to do some catching up.”

Pavonis nodded. “Yeah. Of course! I’d love to.”

“Of course you would. I’ll let you know when’s a good time, but for now, run along. We want to eat too.”

The psychic chuckled and said farewell, jogging back over to his table.

“He’s so promiscuous,” Dipper said, shaking his head.

“Yeah, and I love that about him. Well let’s not wait for our food to get cold. Let’s eat.”

Breakfast was great, and they probably spent nearly an hour just eating and sitting around talking. Bill entertained everyone with his loud declarations of how good food tasted and he really should have gotten a body sooner.

Finally Bill decided to do his usual walk around of the base, check on the medical tent, see how repairs were coming along. Dipper went with him, and he held his hand nearly the entire time, proudly smiling at everyone who looked at them. He was giddy today, pressing himself against Bill’s side, as if to say, _Yeah, this is my partner, he’s hot, deal with it._

_ _

“You’re really happy today,” Bill commented. “I would have thought you’d be more down, you usually are after a battle.”

Dipper shrugged. “I’m trying not to think about everyone I killed. I’d rather think about you. No point in thinking about the past. Even if… it feels like I can remember every single face, the way they yelled when they collapsed…” He got a distant stare, then shook his head, focusing. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s natural,” Bill assured him, stroking his hair. “You’re experiencing what nearly everyone who goes through battle has to see. Just remind yourself that it was all for a bigger cause.”

“I know, it just hurts sometimes, thinking about how they had friends, and families, and I killed them. They’ll never see those people again, I… God. When this war is over, I’ll have a lot to apologize for.”

“You won’t have to apologize, because we’ll win. I’ll be supreme ruler of the world. And all your crimes will be forgiven.” Bill pecked his cheek. “If you need it, I’ll get you therapy afterward. I don’t want you to suffer.”

“The fact that this will probably lead to me needing therapy should be enough to tell you that this isn’t right, shouldn’t it?”

Bill sighed. “Right and wrong are subjective. For demons, there is only power, and whether or not you’re willing to take it. By any means necessary.” He offered Dipper a smile. “Listen, I know it’s hard. But you did this to protect your family. And as a result, look at how strong you’ve gotten, how respected you are. Isn’t that worth something?”

“I’m feared by my own kind and respected by demons,” Dipper stated. “I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of.”

“What about your strength? Your knowledge?”

“I am thankful for what I’ve learned. But I would have liked to do it under less stressful conditions. You pretty much forced me into joining you. That was a… pretty abusive tactic actually. I just…” Dipper sighed heavily. “I just want this to be over with as soon as possible, so things can go back to normal. Or as normal as the world will be with demons loose in it.”

“I understand. You’re so kindhearted and this is going against all your values. But you fight anyway because I order you to. I’m sorry, sapling. I never really expected I’d fall in love with you during this, so… now I’m kinda surprised you love me too.”

“I don’t know. Despite everything, you were still supportive of me. I could vent to you. You helped me and taught me a lot, and I just kinda… fell for you. I guess you really can’t control who you love.”

“Guess not.” Bill hugged him, and Dipper rested his chin on his shoulder. “Things will be chaotic when this is over. My people are wild and destructive. I started all this for fun more than anything, and for some profit of course, but I suppose I didn’t think about how the humans would feel. I didn’t care. Now you’re making me care. Damn you and your emotions.”

“That’s sympathy for ya. I think you need to feel it more often.”

“Perhaps so.” Bill leaned back. “Hey, thanks for all you've done. I really appreciate your work. And when you hit colonel, I promise you'll be off the battle field for good. You'll never again have to kill anyone. Think you can make it till then?”

Dipper nodded. “Yeah. I think I can.”

“Good! Now what do you say we go do something fun? Wanna see a movie?”

“A movie? What if people recognize me?”

“They won't if you wear a hoodie. And your facial hair hasn't grown back yet, you look different enough. Then once we're in the theater, you can pull the hood off.”

“Well...” Dipper thought about it. “It would be fun to go out... It gets kinda boring being on the base all day. There's only so many times I can work out and go to the firing range and talk about politics and strategy...”

“You have your laptop.”

“Yeah and we need better Wi-Fi out here.”

“Fair enough.” Bill took Dipper's hand. “How about we go back to your tent and find you a hoodie, and then we can hit the town. Have a romantic day, actually do couple stuff.”

“I wouldn't mind going out to eat and going to a mall afterward,” Dipper said.

“Sounds like fun.” Bill walked with him as they went back to Dipper's tent. “We could go to Oklahoma City, there's a mall with a movie theater there, and it's got plenty of restaurants nearby.”

“Sure.” Dipper didn't take long finding a sweater with a hood, tugging it on and pulling the hood up. He looked at his reflection, and then used a spell to change his eye color, just in case. Once he was ready, he nodded to Bill, who smiled.

“When we win, you won't have to disguise yourself to go out in public,” Bill said. “No one will dare lay a finger on you.”

“That'll be one good thing that comes out of this. Though I wouldn't have this problem if you hadn't made me join you in the first place.”

“If you hadn't joined me in the first place, Ford probably would have gotten you to join his militia, and I would have eventually killed both of you. That, or my people would have.”

“...Good point. I prefer being alive.”

“Of course you do. Who doesn't? Now, let's go see what movies are playing.” Bill slipped an arm around his waist, and they teleported together.

 

The two were able to get in and out of the movie theater with no issues. No one really seemed to pay attention to them. It also wasn't that crowded, but they weren't surprised, considering that the Air Force base they had attacked was about fifteen minutes away from here and people probably didn't feel very safe about traveling.

They spent a while walking around and checking out the shops, holding hands. They bought some clothing, sniffed candles in Yankee Candle, and checked out Spencer's gifts. Bill made snide comments in the sex toy section and Dipper quickly led the way back out, blushing.

Once they felt they'd wasted enough time, they went to the food court, decided they didn't want anything there, and walked outside. There was an Olive Garden near the mall, and they went to eat there. While the food at the camp was decent, this was much more delicious. Dipper probably ate about three breadsticks before Bill stopped him.

“You're so cute,” Bill said when Dipper wiped crumbs off his mouth, embarrassed.

“Am not,” Dipper said automatically.

“Hm... yeah. You are.” Bill leaned across the table and flicked his nose. So Dipper picked up a breadstick and put it in his drink.

“Rude,” Bill commented. He took the bread out and looked at it with distaste, then shrugged and bit into it anyway. “Wow, that's... interesting.”

Dipper just smiled. He was on a date with Bill. That was the part he couldn't get over. They were eating lunch together, on a _date_. Like a normal couple. Things may be rough, but man, this made it worth it. He felt like he could get through this, as long as he had Bill.

The demon heard that thought, and smiled back at him, gently setting his hand over his. “There's that optimism. I know you can get through this. You're strong. Maybe you'll get used to the fighting, maybe not, but either way, you will survive. I have confidence in you.”

“Thanks,” Dipper replied, turning his hand so his palm was up and he could grasp Bill's. They kept their hands together, talking until their meals arrived. Dipper couldn't wait until they won the war and they could do this all the time, and walk around without Dipper having to hide his face and change his appearance. But until then... he was content with this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory somewhat-normal date chapter. And next chapter is smut.  
> 


	33. Things Are Looking Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another reminder that this is a smut chapter but there's non-smut fluff in the beginning and end too. Enjoy. :)

The date went very well. Dipper had a great time wandering around with Bill, chatting, doing little fun things, just generally enjoying being together and away from the sometimes hectic camp they spent most of their time in.

Bill found a zoo and took them there, using Gray’s debit card to pay for things. He had easily figured out what its pin was. He claimed he would later hack into his bank account and transfer all its funds out onto a check, and deposit it back into his personal account. But for now, he just used the man’s card and flashed his military ID for discounts wherever he could.

They didn’t go back to the camp until the Sun was starting to go down. They were very content as they walked in the gate, full from the dinner they had at a steakhouse, discussing the movie they had seen and planning out their next Saturday.

Dipper naturally started drifting in the direction of his tent, but Bill had other plans, taking him to his tent instead. He let him in and then locked the door. It was only a thin metal door attached to a frame, which in turn attached to fabric, but it got the point across to leave them alone.

Bill took Dipper’s hand as he led him through the dark tent, not bothering to turn on any lights. Dipper’s heart pounded. Was this going where he thought it was going?

They reached the bedroom, and Bill took off his shoes, inviting Dipper to do the same. Once they were off and the two had taken belongings out of their pockets, setting down their assorted bags, Bill swept Dipper into his arms and kissed him deeply.

Dipper was surprised, but eagerly kissed back, tilting his head and opening his mouth a bit. They made out as Bill prodded him across the room, until they reached the bed and Dipper fell onto it.

Bill went down with him, wrestling him onto his back and breaking the kiss. He nibbled and dragged his tongue down the human’s neck, making him gasp, fingers gripping Bill’s back.

“This is the best part of having a vessel,” Bill murmured, suckling over Dipper’s collarbone before making his way back up.

“Yeah,” Dipper breathed, thoughts cloudy. He was so thankful for his trysts with Pavonis… he wasn’t really nervous at all.

Bill was different though, much more bold and assertive, pushing Dipper around as he needed, growling at him rather than whining. Dipper liked the change. By the time Bill was sliding his shirt off, the human was hard, legs shaking as he tried not to just start grinding on Bill.

The shirt was tossed aside, and Bill sat back, beginning the process of unbuttoning his own shirt.

Dipper sat up to watch him, scowling. “Why did you wear that?”

“Fashion,” Bill said smugly. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

Dipper rolled his eyes and laid back down, using the opportunity to take his own clothes off, stripping down to his underwear, throwing clothes down and not caring where they ended up.

Bill finally got his shirt off, and decided to match Dipper, also removing everything else but his underwear.

The two admired each other, stroking their hands over warm skin, occasionally rubbing circles against scars or other marks. Dipper wanted to learn this body, while Bill hasn’t gotten to see Dipper like this through these eyes, but was pleased to find that his host body found him attractive.

Their lips joined, and they kissed energetically, Bill resting his weight on Dipper’s front, and the human wrapped his legs around his waist, grinding up against him as they made out.

Bill shuddered with pleasure, growing hard at the friction between them. He kissed him more desperately, hips bucking forward to meet him.

“Hh, Bill…” Dipper gasped out, moving with him.

Bill leaned back, bracing his hands on either side of Dipper and rutting against him, pushing his body forward and back, making him squirm and pant with frustration.

“Gods, Bill, just…” Dipper grabbed his waistband, tugging it down, “Just _fuck me already._ ”

“Good to see that you’re not nervous.”

“Of course not, I’ve done this before.”

“I know. And I’m glad you have.” Bill paused and pushed Dipper’s legs off him, tugging the man’s briefs down. He licked his lips at the sight of the other’s erection bobbing up, hard and red. “Pleasure yourself, let me watch.”

Dipper blushed, but kicked his underwear off the rest of the way and grasped his cock, sliding his palm up it. A soft moan slipped out of him, and he closed his eyes, stroking back down. His hips quivered as he resisted the urge to start bucking.

“No, open your eyes, I want you to see me,” Bill ordered.

Dipper opened his eyes, meeting Bill’s. The other’s pupils were dilated, watching him closely. Every so often he glanced down, but then would look back up.

Dipper’s breath escaped in faster gasps, a numb heat overtaking his legs, he squeezed his cock a little more firmly at the base, stroked over the tip, so close…

“Stop,” Bill said.

Dipper actually whimpered, but he obeyed.

Bill carelessly dropped his boxers, moving between Dipper’s legs and opening his thighs. “You keep lube in your tent, don’t you?”

Dipper nodded. “In the drawer next to the bed…”

Bill used an easy spell to teleport the bottle over, taking it in his hand. He smiled down at Dipper as he opened it. “Get comfortable, love.”

Dipper shifted and laid back, propped up a little by the pillow under his neck, watching Bill shift between his legs. This was a really attractive view. Dipper didn’t have much experience being on the bottom, but he and Pavonis did it once, just to get him used to it. So he knew what to expect. Something told him that Bill was going to be much more rough than Pavonis was. And the thought excited him. He watched as a little bit of pre ran down his tip.

Bill hummed as he coated his fingers with lube, taking one of Dipper’s legs and propping it up on his shoulder, keeping him spread. “All right, let me know if this hurts.” He stroked over his balls, and slipped further down, finding his entrance and pressing one finger against it. He teased a bit, until Dipper relaxed, and then pushed his finger inside.

“Ah, Bill…” Dipper brushed his fingers over his length.

“Don’t,” Bill said.

Dipper sighed, letting go. He wound his fingers into his own hair, biting at his knuckles to keep from moaning.

“Seems like you want something,” Bill commented, stroking against Dipper’s prostate.

“Nn… Bill, please…”

Bill smiled, finger sliding in and out, before working in a second. He pressed them in deep, and Dipper shifted, trying to stay quiet.

“Please what?” Bill asked. He was doing this more quickly than Pavonis had, and it had Dipper sweating and twisting on the covers, hips moving forward to try and get some friction.

“More, please…”

“Mm, what do you want more of?” Bill withdrew his fingers, only to add a third and work them back in. He stretched them apart, making Dipper gasp, pained but not wanting him to stop.

“I want more touch, I want you to fuck me!” Dipper had no shame about it, he was aching for release and needed so badly to be touched and not just teased.

Bill swallowed, face red. “All right.” He pulled his fingers out and shuffled forward, guiding his tip to Dipper’s entrance. “Ready?”

Dipper found one of Bill’s hands, holding it. “Yes.”

Bill thrust into him, not hesitating or bothering to be gentle. Dipper cried out, arching and wrapping his legs around his hips.

“Oh, Dipper…” Bill sighed, voice breathy. He leaned down, resting his face against Dipper’s neck.

“Bill…” Dipper draped one of his arms over the other’s back, a pleasant shiver going up his spine at having the other inside him. He felt good. And he was pressing right against that sweet spot.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long,” Bill murmured, kissing his ear. “You feel good, sapling.”

“So do you.”

“Can I move?”

“Please.”

Bill shifted, bracing himself on his elbows and beginning to move. He was clumsy at first, unused to this body, but he adjusted quickly. He found a rhythm, and Dipper went from soft grunts to loud moaning, holding the other tightly and rolling his hips to meet his thrusts.

It was ecstasy. It seemed to feel so much better, doing this with someone he loved, and Dipper never wanted it to end. Everything seemed so intense… the pleasure that raced through him every time Bill thrust in, the heat building under his skin, those throaty moans his partner was making, the way he was being pushed back and forth against the covers, making the bed rock… It was all so good.

“Bill, I love you,” he whispered, body already tensing, getting close.

“I love you too,” Bill replied. He tenderly stroked Dipper’s face, leaning up and kissing him.

Dipper moaned, fingernails biting into Bill’s back and scratching a bit. The demon thrust in deeper, pleased with how his human gasped against his lips.

Dipper’s legs tightened even more around Bill, holding him close to him, grinding his erection against his belly. Bill adjusted for him, thrusts becoming shorter, harder. Each one was to the hilt, balls slapping against Dipper’s ass, and the human was loving it. It felt so filthy, everything was so hot and slick, and Bill wasn’t slowing down, he was slamming into him with everything he had.

Dipper was at his edge far faster than he ever was with Pavonis, and he whimpered slightly as he hovered there, unable to quite get over it. “Bill… please,” he begged.

“Hn… okay, just… here.” Bill leaned his weight onto one arm, grasping Dipper’s cock in a hand and stroking it. A few pumps was all it took, and then the human was going taut, coming with a loud keen of Bill’s name.

The demon groaned, fingers slipping. “Fuck, kid…” It was so hot, seeing Dipper move like that under him, and it was enough to push him over too. His hips jerked as he came, making Dipper give a startled jump.

“Could you…” Dipper implored, and Bill nodded, rubbing his hip. He could tell he was overstimulated, so he pulled out.

“Feeling okay?” Bill asked quietly.

Dipper nodded, arms resting around his partner's neck. He was breathing hard, but he was satisfied. “I feel great.”

“I'm glad.” Bill nuzzled him, pressing small kisses to his face. “That was fun.”

“Mhm, I've really been wanting to do this with you.” Dipper tilted his head, smiling at the affection the other was showering him with.

“Me too. Oh, you were really into it.” Bill tilted his head the other way to kiss him on the mouth. “We'll need to do this more often.”

“Definitely.” Dipper was so content, looking up at his lover, eyes almost closed as the other caressed his face. Eventually, Bill moved to lay next to him, and they got under the covers before snuggling up. Cuddling wasn't near as easy as the movies made it out to be, but Dipper managed to find a comfortable enough position curled up against the demon, head resting against his neck. He was pretty tired.

“Things are looking up,” Bill said, stroking his back. Dipper's eyes fluttered shut, body leaning more against him. He didn't fall asleep though, just listening to what the other had to say. “We're going to do big things together, us and our army... I can't wait until you're ruling it right alongside me, not as one of my subordinates, but as an equal. You'll take us from great to the greatest. I can't wait to see you as my general, taking your rightful place at my side.”

“You think I'll be able to lead this entire army?”

“Sure. With me alongside you. We can do anything together.”

Dipper had to admit, Bill's faith in him made him feel really good about himself. “Heh. Well, that's a long way off, I'm sure I'll be much better at this by then.”

“Oh, I'm sure.” Bill relaxed back into the covers, and Dipper figured he was going to sleep, and let himself drift off as well.

But after what only felt like a few moments, Bill spoke again. His voice slurred with drowsiness.

“By the way... how would you like to be moved to a different unit? You're good with a gun but I want you practicing your magic more. You should be with one of those teams.”

“Sure,” Dipper replied. “That sounds like fun.”

“Thought you'd like that. Maybe I'll put you into the same unit as Pavonis, huh? Heh.”

Dipper chuckled. “I'd like that.”

“All right, I can tell you're tired. We're gonna be busy tomorrow, so get some sleep, love.”

“Ugh, can't we just sleep all day?”

“I wish we could, but I have responsibilities. We both do.”

“I know. Okay, goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Dipper rested a hand on Bill's side, thumb moving in small circles against his skin. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

So maybe things weren't completely ideal. But Dipper could handle it, as long as he had someone to love. Was his relationship with Bill the best thing in the world? Not at all. They'll probably never work through all their problems. But Dipper was content. He could accept a lifetime with Bill.


	34. Major Pines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how 'bout that series finale? HOOO BOY never mind all that!  
> This fic should still continue as normal but I may try to make reference to the events of the last episode. Either way I just gotta accept that this thing might as well be an AU. Ah well. Enjoy!

Bill got up early the next morning. Dipper groaned in discontent as he was shifted, and Bill leaned down to kiss his forehead.

“I'm sorry, sapling, but I was getting pretty bored of that sleep thing,” he said.

“You're weird, sleep is great,” Dipper slurred. He reached out with a hand, grabbing for the other, but he had already moved away.

“By all means, you can go back to sleep, but you're gonna be woken up in thirty minutes anyway,” Bill said, pulling his underwear on and tossing a towel over his shoulder. “Or you can come take a shower with me before everyone else gets up.”

Dipper sighed, but pushed himself up. He did have a pretty good sleep this night, after all. So he wasn't that tired. It was just nice to lay in bed. He looked at Bill for a few moments, mostly checking out his backside, and then stood. “My uniform is over in my tent.”

“So it is. Ya know, you should just move in with me. We can give your tent to one of my higher-ranking humans or something.”

“Sounds good to me. It's not like I have much stuff to move anyway.”

“Exactly. All right, let's get ready.”

They showered and dressed, and Dipper spent the rest of the morning before Reveille played moving his stuff over to Bill's tent. He did this fairly quickly, and gave the tent a farewell pat before going to join his lover. They were in the chow hall for breakfast by the first notes of Reveille.

Bill looked excellent in his uniform, proudly wearing two gold stars on each lapel, though they were upside-down like pentagrams. He kept messing with his hair though, no doubt wishing it was longer. He did, however, apply black eyeliner in an Eye of Horus style, which Dipper thought looked very good on him.

“I'd change a few things about the appearance if I could, but overall I like this body,” Bill had stated earlier.

Once breakfast was done, they had a very busy day to get to. Bill was heading out to negotiate with the governor of the state and he invited Dipper to go with him. Usually for such an affair they would wear their formal uniforms, but they weren't going to this time. There was a fair chance they would be attacked on sight when they went into the building so they wanted to have a freer range of movement. Both were taking pistols with them, and would be placing wards on themselves. But hopefully it didn't come to that.

Bill was confident that they would be finishing up this war within a few months. His forces grew larger and stronger every day. And the human militaries they opposed were decimated more and more in each battle. They were losing hope. It was obvious in the tones on social media and on the news. People just wanted everything to end.

In the end, the meeting with the Oklahoma governor went well, though it was a very tense atmosphere while they spoke. There had been US military officers present as well. And of course, once Dipper and Bill stepped back outside after the hours of deliberating, there was press waiting to speak to them. They answered all questions, and Bill bragged about his new body, and Dipper found himself feeling really bad for the soldier's family, who would no doubt see this at some point. Not to mention, how it would affect his friends in the Army. But he didn't show this sympathy, instead smiling and speaking confidently when he was spoken to.

And beyond the reporters were protest groups, shouting and waving signs and generally being distracting. Bill kept glancing at them, and eventually stepped forward, tugging his sleeves back and making magic spark between his fingers. The protesters scurried back a safe distance, and Bill laughed, taking Dipper's hand.

“Okay, I think we've talked enough,” he said. “We have other things we need to do today, but I'm sure you'll see us around! Bye, future subjects!” He waved, and teleported away with Dipper.

As promised, Dipper joined a unit of magic users, led by one of Bill's older friends who had finally made her way over to this base (the last leader had been promoted to a different base), the one and only...

“Pyronica!” Dipper called as he ran over to her, and the demon grinned and jogged to meet him, swooping him up in her arms and hugging him tightly.

“Dipper, how great it is to see you!” She giggled and swung him around, and he coughed a bit, struggling as his spine popped. “Some of the others back home said there was no way you'd survive, but look at you!”

“Pyronica, you're breaking my bones,” Dipper said, urgently patting her side.

“Whoops, haha, you humans are so frail!” She let go of him, and he stumbled back, wrapping his arms around himself and wheezing. “But look, you're still alive, and you look great!”

“Yep, I'm still alive. Bill refused to let me die,” Dipper laughed.

“Of course he did, where is that crazy triangle anyway?” She looked around, and Bill waved at her. “Oh, there you are! In that new body of yours, how great.” She looked it over, clicking her tongue. “I think you look better in darker skin, but this host is fine too.”

“Yeah, but Dipper picked this one out for me, I'm not gonna complain.” Bill flexed. “I like it.”

She smiled. “I do too. So Dipper, you're gonna be in my unit? I guess I gotta get used to calling you Pines, then.” She looked at his rank. “And still a captain, I see?”

“Yes, but not for long,” Bill said. “He's gonna be a major soon.”

“Ooh, catching up to me,” Pyronica teased. She sported the bats of a colonel on her uniform.

“Heh, yep,” Dipper replied. “And Bill wants me to be a general eventually. I'm doing my best.”

“I'm sure. Well I think you'll improve greatly with me leading you. The humans here are great and all but they're holding you back. You've got the power of a demon locked inside you and we're gonna get it out. I hope you've gotten better since I last saw you.”

“Way better,” Dipper promised.

“We'll see, because we're doing exercises tonight. You ready?”

“Oh man. Of course I am.”

“Good. You might as well put that rifle of yours away, because once I'm through with you, you'll never want to rely on that weak old boom stick ever again.”

 

Dipper enjoyed being tutored on magic again. He improved quickly on a variety of spells, though his healing abilities still weren't much better for anything but mending bruises and cuts. He could relieve pain, and speed along the reparation of bone, but that was about it. No matter, there were specially trained mages for that. He practiced fire magic, and electricity, and teleporting and lifting objects. All second nature by now, but it was still good to practice so he remained proficient. He learned how to read many different demonic languages, and about summoning and binding. He learned how to conjure a familiar that would fight for him, and how to read the remaining life force in someone, as well as ripping out and absorbing souls, something he had started on before but now wanted to perfect.

Pyronica was a good leader, very supportive but stern when she needed to be. Dipper thought of her as kinda like an enthusiastic aunt. He really has missed having her around, and sometimes wondered what his other friends were up to. Apparently his old dark magic tutor, Luthgore, was doing battle somewhere in Asia. Which wasn't very specific at all but no one seemed to know exactly where he was; his assigned station traveled a lot, apparently.

October slid into November, bringing harsher winds and colder weather. People talked of snowfall. Fire magic was being put to good use keeping the base warm, but those who had to patrol and guard the perimeter were often miserable. Dipper suggested that every pair have at least one magic user in it, so they could use a heat spell. This was quickly agreed to. While the demons were fine for the most part, some of the humans were more sensitive, especially the ones from warmer states. So they appreciated this directive.

Of course Bill called for slight changes to the uniform, providing long-sleeved black undershirts, and more comfortable gloves. Red fleece jackets were distributed as well. The regular caps could be substituted with warm beanies.

“This really isn't that cold,” Bill said one morning, as he and Dipper did some stretches in preparation for exercise.

“It's in the forties,” Dipper replied. “And windy.”

“Ah it'll warm up.” Bill leaned down to touch his toes. Dipper raised a brow at him. He had chosen to wear shorts and a short-sleeved shirt, despite how the cold was enough to make goosebumps raise on his arms. Dipper had done the intelligent thing and put on pants and a sweatshirt.

“You do realize that humans can get cold-related illnesses, right?” Dipper asked. “Your body is going to get sick and you'll only have yourself to blame.”

“Please, I'll be fine,” Bill said with a roll of his eyes. “This thing belonged to a soldier, I'm sure it's very healthy and used to being out in deplorable conditions.”

“If you say so. But if you start sneezing, stay away from me.”

“Ha, very funny. Now, we working out or what?”

“Yes, we are. Get down, we're doing fifty push-ups on my count.”

“Now that's what I'm talking about.” Bill dropped down to the ground, waiting in the up position as Dipper got down too. “And then what?”

“After this will be fifty sit-ups. Then fifty squats. Then fifty burpees... and who knows, if we're still feeling good, we can do it again.”

“All right, good times! Let's do it!”

Most days there was nothing better to do but train and strategize. Attacks were seldom. Most of the time, it was Bill who had to seek out places for them to attack first; no one seemed to want to come after them. Occasionally there would be a bomber, but they could usually detect them coming early enough in advance for the quickest demons to fly up and clip the wings off. At such a high speed, the jets usually couldn't turn away in time. One second they were flying, the next there were flashes of light from something they couldn't see and they were spiraling out of control. It wasn't long before planes stopped appearing.

It was probably also due in part to Bill locating and destroying other high traffic depot bases owned by the various branches, making it more and more difficult for military assets to be built and repaired. Reserves of jet fuel were taken out by fire bombs from above. Bill was even beginning to plan for accessing and then disposing of the United States nuclear weapon arsenal. Though such weapons were highly dangerous and the government had sworn not to use them, that didn't mean that Bill couldn't threaten to detonate them. He got those under his control, he could easily get this entire nation, and perhaps the others, to surrender. World war was one thing, but nobody was willing to risk the destruction of all life on the planet.

Figuring out which bases these weapons were stored at was one thing. Such info was easily found online. But figuring out exactly where they were kept and how many were in a particular location was another matter. They were scattered all across the country, and many were being dismantled. There used to be hundreds more, but over the years they've slowly been taken apart, until only a small amount remained, just as a deterrence measure. Still, it was enough to cause the world worry about them falling into the wrong hands.

Dipper did a lot of the research into this, working with other intellectuals and computer experts, compiling as much data as they could as to numbers and locations. Bill was very proud of his work, and it wasn't long before he promoted him.

It was a much grander ceremony than when he had become a captain. For one, they actually had a buffet. And Dipper wore his formal uniform during it, Bill in matching ones, announcing the human's achievements before finally taking out the two gold triangles that would make his new rank official. Dipper kept his arms at his sides, standing at attention as Bill took off the captain ranks, snapping on the new ones, turning them a bit so that they were both positioned correctly. Then, holding the old pins in his left hand, he took a step back. Dipper saluted him, and he saluted back, as the crowd cheered. When Bill dropped his hand, Dipper did the same, and they turned to smile at the troops.

“And now's the part where you give a speech,” Bill said, giving Dipper a microphone.

“Wait now I didn't agree to- okay.” Dipper sighed and brushed his hand through his hair, grinning a bit. “Well, I have to say, I didn't think I'd make it this far. There were days way back at the beginning when I really thought I was gonna just kill myself. But I held on, because I had people back home I was protecting. And this just turned into an adventure. I learned more than I ever expected, I grew strong, and it was all because of Bill. And of course, I had help from many of you. So as much as I achieved myself, I have to thank you all as well. And while I still have my reservations about all this, I will do what needs to be done. I'll give you all the world you deserve. A world where you can be powerful and respected. It'll be here before you know it, and I hope to see all of you there and enjoying it with me. Thank you for allowing me to serve with you.” He handed the mic back to Bill, sighing with relief as he did.

“Well said, Major Pines,” Bill said. Dipper smiled at that. “Indeed, Major Pines! Wow, can you believe it? Before you know it, you'll be Colonel Pines. And then General Pines! Won't that be amazing, folks? Do you think he can do it?” He laughed at the responding applause. “Of course he can. And he will. This man is brilliant and inspiring in so many ways, he didn't exactly join us by choice but he has blossomed under our care. I always knew he had the potential to be a great leader, and so far he's proving me right. Of course, when have I ever been wrong? Haha. And I'm sure none of us want to see the end of this more than he does, so you can be sure that he'll do everything he can to speed this along, secure our victory quickly, make us the rightful rulers of the world. I want everyone who's under his supervision to obey him without question, and for those who work with him to consult him and involve him in your decision-making, and for those still over him to be the mentors he needs. Pines is very dear to me, and I will not stand to see anyone disrespecting him. Not to mention, this man is a target to nearly every US troop in a combat-related job. Everyone is going to be trying to kill him. Yes, some of you outrank him, some of you are more talented than him. But his face has appeared on TV more than any of yours, usually right next to mine. We are both prime targets. So keep your eyes sharp. We're both pretty observant but we can't see everything. You all have to be our extra eyes, got it?”

There was a chorus of, “Yes, sir!” in response.

“Good. Well, I think I've stood on my soapbox for quite long enough. This is a ceremony, time for me to lighten up! My hair is finally growing out!” Bill stroked over his hair. It still wasn't very long, but he was able to part it on one side, giving it some semblance of a style.

The crowd laughed, many nodding and giving him a thumbs-up.

“Yeah, I can't wait until it's longer,” Dipper said. “I think it'll look much nicer.”

“Oh, for sure. I noticed yours is getting long too again. And your goatee is back.” Bill playfully poked the human's jaw. “You look very mature. Very fitting for a major.” He returned his attention to the crowd. “Well, I've spoken long enough. Everyone get back to eating and drinking, don't let us stop you!”

The others cheerfully returned to their discussions, getting food and drinks, some coming up to congratulate Dipper on his rank. There was even alcohol available.

“Oh, I can't drink,” Dipper said when Bill passed him a margarita.

“Why?” Bill replied.

“Why? Because I'm 19!”

“So?” Bill had his own drink, which he took a sip of. “Pretty soon I'm gonna be in charge and what I say goes. And I say that you, who have risked your life tons of times already, are mature enough to drink alcohol. So take it. It's barely got any alcohol in it anyway.”

Dipper wasn't sure, but he relented, picking up the glass and sipping. The salt on the rim caused a pleasant shock to go through his lips, and the drink itself was sweet and salty, a tangy combination. He lowered it, licking the salt from his lips. “Hm. Interesting.”

“It's good, right? Enjoy, sapling. That's some quality tequila in there.”

“Tequila, huh?” Dipper took another drink. “Isn't that the one from the song? Tequila makes her clothes fall off?”

“Indeed it is. But hey everyone responds to alcohol differently.” Bill's eyes twinkled as he cut into the chicken he had gotten earlier. “I'm not saying you have to drink until you're drunk. But you gotta live a little. Get a buzz going, you'll love it.”

“If you say so.” The drink was decent, but Dipper kept returning to his water just to wash the tang out every once in a while. He leaned a little against Bill as he ate, just enjoying the subtle touch.

“Things got a bit serious during your speech,” Bill said quietly. “Did you really want to kill yourself at first?”

“A long time ago, yeah. Those first few days of training, I regretted everything, I felt that I should have told you no, let you kill me, but... then I know you would have hurt or even killed Mabel. And my parents, and the rest of my friends and family... and I didn't want that. I made the deal to keep them safe. And even if it was hard, it was worth suffering to protect them. So I kept going. As much as I wanted to just curl up and die, I had to do it for them.”

“You're very strong.”

“I think you'll find that a lot of humans are when they feel they have no other choice.”

Bill nodded. “This is true. Fear is often a great motivator. As is the drive to protect others. I knew all this from the start. It's why I chose you. I knew you could be motivated to serve me. But I also knew you were strong. You're intelligent. You deserved so much more than that life back home would have given you.”

Dipper downed a larger portion of his margarita. “I don't know, I think I would have liked to go to college.”

“You can still go to college. After this.”

“Would anyone even accept me?”

“Sure. They'll have to. When we're the victors, we write the history. We will convince humanity that what we did had a good purpose. And though there will always be those who oppose us, we'll be able to live alongside them. You'll be able to walk safely among your people. Or... safe enough, I suppose. You may want to wait a few years before getting too comfortable. Still, things will be good. Us demons will be free to roam and interact with humans however much we please, and humans will be able to ask services from us whenever they want. Making deals with demons will become a regular thing, and it will benefit both races. Just you wait, people will like having us around when we're helping them.”

“Did you really have to go about this so violently if in the end your people were just going to make deals the regular way?”

“Hey, at some point the humans would probably get paranoid and attack us, try to control us. I had to do something to intimidate them first, so they'd never think of it. You know how humans are about anything they don't understand. If my people had tried to integrate peacefully... it wouldn't have ended well.”

Dipper couldn't argue with that. “You're right. It's sad, but... it wouldn't have. So about all the chaos then, the parties...”

“Oh sure, we'll do that stuff too. But your people are totally invited! I want my control, and I'm going to get it, and in time the people of Earth will accept it. It's not like I'm gonna completely kick out all of the presidents and stuff. They'll still have their jobs. I'll just be over them.” Bill finished his plate, pushing it forward and yawning. “It'll be a grand new age.”

“Heh. Well, whatever happens, it'll definitely be interesting.” Dipper slipped an arm around Bill's waist. “And we'll be together through it all.”

“Definitely.” Bill turned to him, stroking his hair. “It'll be wonderful, sapling. A world ruled by us. We'll have everything we've ever wanted.” He leaned in to brush their lips together, and Dipper hummed.

It certainly did sound wonderful.


	35. An Intense Mission

Time passed. The days blurred together to Dipper. He did what was asked of him, exercised, trained in magic, shooting, and hand to hand combat, helped Bill strategize, occasionally fought other soldiers... he got used to the lifestyle. His relationship with Bill generally improved, though they still sometimes got into arguments over the morality of what they were doing. Several times, Dipper had to put his foot down and refuse to do certain things, and it was only because of Bill's love for him that he got away with it.

Bill didn't mind that much, though. They were still getting things done. They kept making their way across the country. Bill was certain that by the time they got to the east coast, this would all be wrapped up. If they even go that far. Nations across the world have fallen to them. Demons were already taking over countries, walking the streets among humans, interacting with them, some aggressively and others more politely. Most people were worried and scared, but a few have embraced the new species. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. But that was a very small and quiet minority. There would probably never be true acceptance of Bill's kind. But they were past the point of no return. No matter what happens, nothing was getting demons off Earth. They were here to stay, and Bill was quite proud of this.

He constantly reminded the people fighting for him of how great they were, how this would go down in history, how they were helping demons to become stronger. And it was about time humans learned how to band together and get along with each other. They have put aside their differences in order to fight back, sharing knowledge and combining resources to try and find some weakness in the demon army, and Bill was amused by that. It took planet-wide war to get humans to cooperate. Incredible.

The holidays came and went, and if it was up to Bill, they probably wouldn't have had much impact on the demons' lives. But Dipper brought up the idea of having Thanksgiving dinner, which ended up being great for morale. Especially for their human troops, many of which were growing weary of the fight and just wanted to be back with their families. But many of them couldn't go home. They faced ridicule and even violence if they were to set foot in their old towns. So they had to stay with their new family, sometimes without even being able to call their old loved ones. It was sad, and Dipper has had to help many of his fellow humans through depression. But the holiday dinner cheered them up, and they had a great time eating turkey and ham (most of which was hunted down), hot rolls, mashed potatoes and gravy. And there were some holiday treats that demons favored, most of which Dipper didn't ask about. He only asked about one in particular, and the answer of “pickled heart” said enough.

He still tried most of it, and most was not to his liking. The demons were quite entertained by his reactions to their food.

With the arrival of the winter holidays came snow. The demons led a winter solstice celebration. They sang songs in strange languages and built sculptures out of snow and ice. There was high energy and magic all night, as the creatures had a grand time dancing and drinking, cooking what seemed to be entire animals over fire and eating them without prejudice.

“What's up with your pals?” Dipper asked Bill as he watched a roasted pig get its limbs torn off and consumed.

“The winter solstice, kid. It's the longest night of the year and it's a time of rebirth. It's a very magical time, we get really hyped up because of all the fresh energy flowing into the world. Can't you feel it?”

Now that Dipper really focused, he could definitely sense an increase in energy around him, and it wasn't entirely from the celebrating demons. “Huh. Yeah, I do.”

Bill smiled and took his hands. “Come on, dance with me.”

Dipper happily did so. He wasn't that great at dancing, but that didn't matter. They had fun, and their human allies joined in. The ones who had magical ability seemed especially enthusiastic, and almost everyone on the base stayed up all night until sunrise, a party that was echoed across the world. Later, news outlets would report on the phenomenon in fear and wonder. Even humans with no magical inclination whatsoever reported feeling something almost like static across their skin, a lifting in their hearts. There was an increased interest in demons after that, and the more curious people started to study them.

Dipper thought of Ford. How would he feel about the way society was being changed by the war? Right now the man was still in his spell-induced sleep, blissfully unaware of everything that was happening. Bill had promised that Ford wasn't even dreaming. When he woke up, he wouldn't even remember that he had been asleep. It will be startling for him, almost. His last memory would be when he was struck by the spell months ago. Bill likened it to blinking. Only when you opened your eyes again you were suddenly flat on your back and in a whole new place and felt weak and hungry.

Bill said that when they did wake Ford up, they would need to do it carefully. And they would have to introduce him to his new world, and make sure he understood the consequences of trying to revolt. Because at that point, if he tried, he would surely be killed.

Dipper visited his great uncle at one point, just to sit next to him and talk to him, even if he couldn't hear, making sure that no one has abused his body and that it was in a safe location. But Ford was fine. He just looked like he was sleeping, laying in a bed in his own tent, where no one would bother him.

“You're not going to like it,” Dipper told him, gently running his thumb over his hand. “Bill's people will be everywhere trying to integrate themselves, but some won't, humans are going to start using magic, there will be deals, we'll probably get into a lot of fights. It'll be chaos. But I think it'll work out. Humans are pretty adaptable. People are already getting used to things. I think you will too.” He looked down at his unresponsive uncle, and sighed. “I wish we didn't have to resort to this. You could have helped us.” He stood, patting the other's shoulder. “But I understand. You spent your life fighting against creatures like Bill. I wouldn't expect you to embrace them like I did.”

“Ya know, we could always blackmail him too,” Bill said dryly when Dipper returned to him.

“It wouldn't work. He's too defiant.”

“I don't know, maybe he'll choose to die instead of serving me, but tell him that we'll kill his family, and I think he'll change his tune.”

“You're awful.”

“I sure am!”

“He'll say that the only family he has is also my family. Which is already sworn to protection. So there's nothing you can take from him.”

Bill tapped his chin. “Hm. True. But I could probably think of something. I can't kill him either. I mean I could, but I'd need your permission, and you wouldn't accept. Ah well no point thinking about that now. We gotta work on our nuke plan! You're gonna help us clear our way through to one of the bases. I know you've done a lot of fighting, but just a little more, all right? But I think you'll be a colonel before we even invade the base itself. In which case, you can sit back, prop up your feet, and watch that from a distance. How does that sound?”

“That sounds pretty great.”

“I thought you'd agree. Let's leave this old man to his beauty sleep and get going.”

“All right.” Dipper took Bill's hand, smiling. The demon's hair was getting long. It has grown out enough that Bill could part it on one side and brush some down over an eye, though he usually ended up having to push that back behind an ear so he could see better. He got his ears pierced and tended to wear various gold earrings, usually triangular, when not in combat. Not that he went out into battle often, but when he did, he was incredible. He used a gun sometimes, but mostly he used magic, sniping distant enemies and hurling back grenades, saving their side from many casualties.

Dipper was completely used to Bill's vessel by now. He couldn't associate it with anyone but Bill. It really did suit him.

The battles to get at the nuclear bases were hard fought. Dipper was an excellent commander, but it took every ounce of his knowledge to get his people through the defenses built to stop them and then take out the nearby installations. Couldn't have any back up coming to the rescue. And as he was a leader, he proved his dedication by literally leading his squad in, running at the front and throwing US soldiers out of his way telekinetically. It was a dangerous position, but he dodged whatever shots came at him, his reflexes honed after months of use. Not to mention, they've been improved even more recently because of the missions he went on.

Dipper got hurt a few times. He broke a leg, got a cut to the face, took several bullets... but nothing was enough to stop him. He would finish the fight, go back to his camp to get patched up, and then be ready for the next assault. He was an inspiration to all who knew him, and Bill wouldn't stop bragging about him.

It was his bravery and commitment that finally made him a colonel, late in January. They were in northern America by this point, and it was incredibly cold, but Dipper was used to it by now. He just insisted that the ceremony be done inside. It really was a proud day though, having those gold bats pinned to his lapels.

And it wasn't much longer after that when they launched their attack on a nuclear base itself. Dipper didn't physically go with them. He stayed back, commanding from a safe location where he could scry on what they were doing, giving himself a broader picture of things. He spoke telepathically with his second in command who led his squad in his place.

It was an intense mission. The base was heavily guarded. Bill's troops stormed the main gate, which was their best bet at getting inside the fence. Gates were the only places where the fence didn't have barb wire, after all. Even if they slam the gate shut, it could just be climbed over. Of course, if they dispatch every security member there, they can easily just reopen the gates themselves and go in.

And that was exactly what they did. There were some casualties, but Bill's side overpowered the humans as usual and forced the gates back open. Things were complicated a bit by the traffic coming in and out of the installation, but when the battle broke out, a lot of people seemed to realize they had better things to do and turned around.

Things just got more chaotic as the troops progressed through the base. They only had a vague idea of where the nuclear weapons were stored, and interrogated several people trying to find them, before just tearing through random buildings. They knew the bombs were underground. The question was how to access them.

Dipper tried to look through the ground, but his scrying wasn't that precise. He advised Pavonis, who was out with the group, to do some dowsing for him. Pavonis reported little luck; there was a ton of stuff underground, electric lines and sewage systems and water lines, regular basements... it was a confusing jumble. He said he would keep trying though.

“I think I should go out there,” Dipper said after about an hour. “They need some more guys anyway, I can go with them and help find the bombs.”

“Are you sure? They're under a lot of fire,” Bill said.

“Yeah. It'll be fine.” Dipper was already standing, pulling equipment on.

Bill took his hand. “Hey, didn't I say that once you're a colonel, you won't have to do that anymore? I know you hate the fighting. So don't do it. Stay here with us, where it's safe.”

Dipper hesitated, glancing at the table, and back at Bill. “I'm not much help here anymore. They need me out there. I'll be okay. I've made it this far, haven't I?”

“Yes, but... okay. You can go, but I'm coming with you.” Bill began gearing up too. His advisers protested, trying to tell him that it was too risky, but Bill cut them off. “Hey, I'm a demon. If they kill this body, I just jump into the Mindscape and get out of there. No human weapon will be able to hurt my true self.” Bill limbered up his body, grinning at Dipper. “I love a good battle. Let's go help our friends find those nukes.”

Dipper nodded in agreement, taking Bill's hand as they sprinted out of the tent. They were teleporting as soon as they were outside. Maybe Dipper was better off staying where it was safe. But that got boring after a while. There were people he cared about putting themselves at risk searching that base. He was a commander. One day he would be a general. And since when did a leader get the ultimate respect of their peers by just sitting around and letting everyone else do all the work? Never. This was the right thing to do.

Dipper could feel Bill's approval through their link. They were at the US base now, sprinting to join one of their teams, shooting anyone who tried to stop them. Once with a group, Dipper opened his mind, beginning to search the area for any clues. He wanted to get through this mission. So close to finishing this war... this should be the final huge victory. All across the country, this same mission was being performed. Access the nuclear arsenal, gain control of the area, and let the world know of their intentions to use them. Possibly actually use a few if anyone needs convincing. Watch the surrenders come pouring in. Accept them. And then rule all.

Bill cheerfully slapped Dipper's back. “You got it. Now, tell us where we're going.”

Dipper nodded. He had finally located where the bomb vaults were at, and began directing troops to their locations. He was feeling optimistic. Everything was going as planned.


	36. Things Will Be Great!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I actually have no freakin idea what nuclear weapon vaults are like. I did research but wasn't able to find anything concrete (for good reason I'm sure) so I just winged it. So don't take anything regarding the nuclear stuff as fact because it probably isn't. All that I got accurate was the weight of mentioned bombs and the destructive capacity, which I've personally studied in my line of work. The locations of where they'd be kept? no clue, lol. anyway, enjoy!

Dipper chose one of the vaults to take on, knowing that his other commanders would take care of the rest. Getting rid of the guards outside was simple enough. Then he assigned a small team of about ten people, a mix of demons and humans, to watch the entrance. Then he and the rest broke through the door and began heading downstairs. There was no one to confront them; no one was expected to be able to get through the security above ground. There were locked doors along the way, heavy and made completely of metal, but all it took was a particularly strong demon to rip them out of the way.

Bill was steadily getting reports from his officers, and he swore under his breath before looking at Dipper. “There's only gonna be a few bombs in here. The military apparently doesn't store more than about four in one place. Which makes sense, but that's gonna make things a little more difficult for us. We're gonna have to secure the ones in here, and hope that the rest of our troops are doing the same.”

“Four nukes is still more than enough to do some damage,” Dipper said. “Us being spread out trying to get to them does put us at a bit of a disadvantage, but as soon as we get a hold of these, it won't really matter. I think the government will listen to us.”

“Oh yes, definitely. Okay, how much further down does this thing go... oh, here we go.” Bill tapped on a door, and then moved aside so it could get torn down.

It opened into a large room, and the group hurried past computers and supplies to where the bombs were nestled in cradles. One had its warhead separated from it, and Dipper ordered his troops to search the boxes in the room. But the other three seemed whole.

“Oh, this is beautiful,” Bill said with a grin, running his hands over the shell of one of the bombs. “So much destructive power contained into a one ton object... this missile and warhead alone could cause more damage than all of the bombs we hid on Tinker combined. Ooh, humans may be primitive, but you guys certainly know how to kill each other.”

One of the others, a human named Johnson, called out to Dipper. “Sir, we found the warhead.”

“Good, bring it over here so we can attach it to its missile. Then we can figure out how to prime these things.”

They hefted the warhead out of its box and brought it over; it took several people to lift. As they were figuring out how to attach it, Dipper and Bill both heard an urgent telepathic voice in their heads.

_Reinforcements are coming in, they're trying to fight their way into all of the bunkers, hurry up down there!_

_We're working on it! Hold them off for as long as you can!_ Bill ordered back, before running over to a computer and trying to boot it up. No luck; they didn't even seem to work. He slammed his fist down on the desk. “Fuck! These things probably aren't meant to be armed here, this is just storage. They have to be taken somewhere else and properly configured!”

The sound of boots slamming against metal made them all whip around to face the entrance.

“We should have planned for this,” Dipper said.

Bill walked over to one of the bombs. “Well, luckily I'm a master of the mind, and what is a computer but just an artificial mind? Let's see what we're working with here.” He slammed his hands down on the hull, and Dipper saw a shock of magic go through it. Bill's eyes took on a distant look as he immersed himself in its circuitry.

“Well you better hurry up because we've got company,” Dipper said, waving over a couple people to watch over Bill while he and the rest spread out across the room, ready to take on the approaching security forces. His mental checks on the troops above ground revealed that they were all dead or unconscious. He silently swore to avenge all of them.

“They won't open fire in here,” 8 Ball said to the others. “It's too risky. But they may try to threaten us. Don't give in.”

There were affirmatives, and within seconds, the US troops had charged into the room, guns ready. Dipper gestured, and everyone on his side aimed right back at them, all motion in the room halting as they held each other at a stalemate.

Dipper examined the airmen, seeing that they were wearing bulletproof vests and helmets, protective glasses over their eyes, many putting on a hardened expression despite how nervous they were. He could still see the anxiety though, in the way they hardly blinked, the twitching of their fingers on their guns, the subtle way they shifted weight. His eyes moved to their sleeves. Many of them weren't even sergeants yet. But they were the defenders of the base. It was their duty to fight, no matter the rank.

For a few moments, no one spoke, both sides expecting the other to shoot. But when nothing happened, one man stepped forward, with his many stripes denoting him as a master sergeant. E-7.

“Step away from the weapons,” he ordered.

Dipper met his eyes. “Nah, I don't think we will.” He lowered his gaze, trying to see the other's name tape, but it was under his vest. He looked back up at his face in time to see him scowl.

“I know you. You're one of the human traitors. The one we keep seeing on the news. Dipper Pines.”

“That's Colonel Pines to you, sir.”

“You're no colonel,” the other spat. “You're all traitors to your country. None of your ranks mean anything to me. I'm giving you one more warning. Put your weapons down, step away from the warheads, and come quietly. Otherwise we'll kill every single one of you.”

Dipper pretended to consider that. Then replied, “Well if we go with you, we'll definitely be put to death, so... nah. I think we'll take our chances with fighting back. General Cipher?”

Bill smiled as he successfully armed the bomb he was working on. “I'm in.” He lifted it from its cradle with telekinesis and turned it around, walking forward with it. The airmen scrambled back, but they were barked at to stay where they were.

“This bomb is armed,” Dipper said. “And if you don't turn around and get out, we'll detonate it. All across the country, our friends are doing this. They've gotten access in their own ways, secured the bombs... and we're ready to blow them up. Unless we receive an immediate surrender.”

“You wouldn't detonate this one, you'd die too!”

“Try us.” Dipper stared the sergeant down, and the man backed away, glancing at his subordinates. He seemed to be nodding to them, signing out orders, and Bill quickly interrupted.

“Don't even think about shooting any of us,” the demon said harshly. “It won't do you any good. Every single one of you need to place down your weapons right now. Turn around, walk out, and deliver our terms to your superiors. Or else.”

They glanced at each other, and Bill sighed.

“All right, I guess you need some convincing.” He clenched his fist. The bomb disappeared.

There were stunned cries, questions of where it went, and Dipper said, “You'll find out. Everyone brace yourselves!”

Mere moments after the words left his lips, there was a shudder that rattled the bunker. Caught by surprise, a few of the airmen stumbled and fell to their knees, before quickly being helped back up.

“What the fuck was that?” the sergeant demanded.

Bill crossed his arms. “That was the sound of a warhead detonating approximately five miles away from here. We're underground so we were protected from the effects. But up above it's probably a different story.”

Dipper knew that the bomb had been dropped over a relatively uninhabited area. But no doubt there was still incredible damage and casualties. Their foes, meanwhile, had no idea where the detonation had been.

“You monster!” the sergeant yelled, motioning to his troops to take aim. Bill's became more alert, ready to fight back at a moment's notice. “You should be put down! I would gladly kill you myself!”

“That's great and all. I think you'll be interested to know that I just ordered for this to be done in several other locations. So I think you really should drop the guns and get the hell out, before I drop one directly onto this base, where all your friends and family live. Above ground. With nothing to protect them.” Bill had a second bomb lift up and float toward him. “Your call, master sergeant.”

The tension in the room grew so thick that it could be cut with a knife. Everyone was waiting for someone else to make a move. Finally, the master sergeant swore and turned away. “I'm not making this call. Everyone move, get out of here. You, make sure this gets reported, I'll stay down here and make sure that no more damage is done.”

Everyone hurried out, and the man turned to survey the group with furious eyes.

“You inhuman pieces of shit,” he growled. Bill snapped his fingers, and the sergeant collapsed to the floor, unconscious.

“What an annoying man that was,” Bill sighed. He placed the bomb down and grinned at his troops. “We did it! We have the humans scared, they're scrambling to figure out what to do, but in the end they'll surrender, they have no choice! All we have to do now is wait.”

Dipper sighed with relief, sinking down to the floor and leaning against a box. “I'm so glad it's almost over.”

“You haven't even been a colonel for long, but I guess if this is it, I'll have to make you a general by default. Once this is all wrapped up nice and pretty, and Earth is ours, we'll have a ceremony. The biggest one yet, wherever you want it and with all the best food... and celebrity guests, perhaps? Eh?” Bill nudged him, laughing.

Dipper laughed too, slinging an arm around him when he sat down next to him. “I'd like that.”

They stayed down there for a while, Bill occasionally reporting on the status of this mission across the country, saying that the humans were angry but terrified. Some were willing to fight even harder because of this, but others, demoralized by the tragedy, have given up entirely. Debates were being fought over it, all the high-ranking military leaders discussing it, passing their opinions along to Congress and to the President. But a decision that big couldn't just be made within minutes or even hours. So someone was sent down to deliver some terms to Bill, with the hope that he would simply broadcast it to the rest of his people. The military wasn't going to put any more people at risk than necessary. Bill deemed this acceptable, wise even.

The woman who entered the room was of a fairly high rank, and wore no protective armor, just approaching them in plain uniform. Bill went to greet her, and they shook hands firmly.

“A decision will be made in time, but for now, we are granting you safe passage to leave here, round up your people, and leave our installations,” she said. “It is our understanding that you can teleport, but we make this offer out of good will. You can depart with no harm coming to you. And there won't be any more threats made against your army on American soil.”

Bill narrowed his eyes. “What about on other countries' soil?”

“That is up for the leaders of those countries to decide. But here, we won't engage you. This is all we can offer right now.”

He got in close to her, staring into her eyes without blinking, a move that would probably unnerve most people. But she coolly stepped back and said, “I have said my piece. Anything you would like me to return to my superiors?”

“Yeah.” Bill was still watching her intently. “Thank them for their cooperation. It has ensured that this is finished with as few casualties as possible.”

Her mouth drew into a thin line. “Very well, sir.” She spun on a heel and marched out with long strides. They could hear her break into a run as soon as she was out of sight.

Bill waited for a few moments, then gestured for everyone to get up. “Well. It's something. I'll just have these sent to our own storage...” The remaining bombs blinked out of view, and everyone checked to make sure they had all their gear before gathering around Bill for his orders. “I suppose we can leave. Let's make our exit grand. Make sure everyone up there knows we're still alive and kicking before we teleport out. Come on.” He led the way up.

“This went well,” Dipper said.

“We took heavy losses,” Bill replied. “Many of my people were sent on similar missions to this. Many fell. And your kind fared even worse. This was a substantial sacrifice on our part.”

“But it's worth it, right?”

“Yeah,” Bill said, looking cheerful. But his eyes were uncertain. “They knew what they were getting into. We'll replenish the lost numbers in no time, I'm sure. Hey, no point thinking about the deaths, right? We gotta think about the survivors. Think about how we've scored another victory, and we may possibly have what we want in a few weeks! Days, even!”

A cheer went up from their fellows.

“Yeah, things will be great!” Bill continued, looking genuinely happy now. “I'll have the power I've always wanted, we'll all be able to turn this into a new world, a better world, one where humans and demons live together, where beautiful chaos is free to rain and the party never ends! This was all worth it!” Bill pointed forward to the door that led outside. “There's the door to our futures, my friends! Let's get on up there!”

They walked faster, and Dipper gestured ahead, looking back at the others. “What do you say, guys? Victory run?”

They shouted in agreement, and together they pushed the doors open and jogged out, enjoying the feel of the cold air after being in that stuffy bunker for so long, the sunlight filtering in through dust. For a few moments, it felt wonderful.

And then the gunshots began.


	37. A Necessary Loss

Screams and shouts filled the air, and Dipper reeled back as his ward was destroyed within seconds. A strong hand seized his arm and pulled him backward, and he scrambled back into the safety of the bunker.

“What the fuck?!” Dipper cried, watching through clouds of dust as his fellow troops were shot down by US soldiers with keen aim.

“An ambush,” Bill hissed. “I knew that woman was hiding something from me, she kept her mind so clear I couldn’t see what it was, I just tacked it up to military discipline… Fuck!” He flinched back as a grenade exploded nearby, throwing up chunks of dirt.

“What do we do?”

“We fight back, that’s what! Get up, and don’t bother with your weapon, use your magic! Teach them a lesson!”

Dipper was scared, but with the adrenaline pumping through him, he managed to leap out of his safe spot and rush forward. His eyes stung from the dust, most of it no doubt a result of the nuclear explosions they had set off, but at least it would help make him harder to see. He raised his arms, surrounding himself with a ring of intense yellow flame that caused any bullet that passed through it to melt before it ever hit him. He advanced forward, throwing his arms out and making the fire explode outward in all directions. It knocked over several people, and he seized others with telekinesis, slamming them hard enough into the ground to break bones, or just throwing them as far as he could.

His remaining troops, invigorated by how he was fighting back, followed his lead, using magic to tear at the opposing forces. They took constant hits from bullets, and soon had to spread out, running to avoid grenades. The battle was taking place in a relatively small area and it was quickly becoming dangerous, as potholes filled the ground, posing a tripping hazard, and both sides were choking on dust.

Dipper coughed and stumbled as he looked for Bill, eyes burning, the debris was really coming down heavy now. Every so often someone would appear from the gloom, letting out war cries as they stabbed out with the barrels of their guns, most having exhausted ammo by this point, and he was just barely managing to dodge them and strike back with a blast of magic that knocked them to the ground to stay.

An explosion sounded close enough to disorient Dipper, and ringing started up in one of his ears. He grimaced and shook his head, turning away from it. Another explosion shook the ground, nearly knocking him over. He forced himself to keep moving. He didn’t see many of his troops left, couldn’t really hear their voices in his mind. His friend Pavonis was, thankfully, still alive over in his section of this base, but he had been ambushed too. They had managed to get away, though. The bulk of the forces seemed to be focused on taking out Bill and Dipper. One final stand. It was a brave and risky move. But the hope was that if those two were killed, then it would turn the tide of the war in favor of humanity.

But Dipper and Bill weren’t going to go down without a fight. They managed to find each other at last, grabbing each other’s hands, channeling strength into each other.

“Let’s clear the air,” Bill said, dispersing the surrounding dust with a wave of the hand. When it disappeared, they saw how many enemy soldiers were left, and the sheer number compared to their rough dozen would normally be disheartening. But Bill didn’t give up easily. And those soldiers out there didn’t have magic.

“I take one half, you take the other?” Dipper suggested, limbering up his limbs. He watched the soldiers reload, passing ammo around to those who had none, taking aim.

“Works for me.” Bill’s grip on Dipper’s hand tightened, and they both reached out with their free hands as they screamed together, “Uro!”

Intense flame poured from their palms, shooting out in waves across the ground, each larger and more violent than the last. It swept people off their feet, lit their clothes on fire, caused them to panic. The two spun in a circle, the flames whipping out to hit everyone around them, turning the metal and plastic of their guns red hot, making them drop them, fumbling for a different weapon, many just fleeing. A few were already collapsing.

The troops on their side were unaffected by the fire; it passed right through them. Their uniforms marked them as allies and protected them from Bill’s magic.

“That’s right, back!” Dipper shouted gleefully, quickly growing ecstatic at the raw power coursing through him. Bill has never shared this much magic with him before. His flames were still his own yellow, but his vision was taking on a slight blue hue that he knew must be Bill’s magic. Everything came into clearer focus, and his aim improved, as he focused on particular people that looked like they might be a threat. “Get back! All of you! Get away from us!”

Bill leaned back against him. “Enjoying yourself?”

“I feel like a god!”

“Yes, it’s nice to be powerful. But we have a lot of enemies to kill. Pay attention, don’t let yourself get blinded to your surroundings.”

“Of course not.” Dipper seized someone with his will, lifting them and swinging them in circles before throwing them. They didn’t go far before crashing back down. He could hear their neck bones snap from here.

“I love seeing you like this, it’s delicious,” Bill said, as he directed his fire directly into someone’s chest, burning their face and making them fall to the ground in agony.

Dipper turned to wink at him. “I learned it from the best.”

Bill smiled, winking back. Then they turned together to resume their assault; just as they heard the soft chink of metal hitting the ground nearby.

They whipped around but the dust was settling back in, and Dipper saw the object first; a grenade that had landed right next to them. Too dangerous to knock away, maybe he could magic it away… Bill didn’t see it yet, he was too close, it would be going off any moment-

“Bill!” Dipper knocked the other out of the way, before seizing the grenade with magic and preparing to throw it, but too late; it exploded in the air mere feet from him. The blast threw him across the ground, and he yelped in pain as he rolled, an incredible burning sensation covering his left side.

There was a brief cry from Bill too, and Dipper struggled to get up, see what was happening, but the pain was so intense it brought tears to his eyes, and one arm didn’t seem to be working.

“Bill!” he called, coughing. “Bill, are you okay?” He looked around, and then the tip of a steel-toed boot caught him in the chin and kicked him back, and his head hit the ground hard, dazing him as it smacked against the inside of his helmet. His neck hurt too now, and he stared up the barrel of a gun through blurry vision, stomach rolling as he suddenly felt overcome with nausea.

“Get away from him!” A stream of blue fire slammed into the soldier, incinerating them in seconds.

Dipper jerked back and stumbled onto his feet, only to be grabbed by one of Bill’s arms, the other out as blue light filled the area, growing steadily brighter and whiter, and Dipper noticed their remaining teammates huddling close to them. There were screams, and Dipper winced as he realized Bill was burning everyone around them alive.

“Bill,” he said weakly, glancing down at his own side to see what was causing this pain. His stomach lurched at what he saw. His sleeve and a good portion of the left side of his uniform had been burnt away in the explosion, leaving behind charred, leathery white skin that shifted color to red and brown in grotesque patches, lines of boiled blood, some shreds of fabric burnt into the flesh itself. The pain stretched from his waist all the way up his left side, ending somewhere around his cheek. He felt incredibly weak all of a sudden, slumping in Bill’s grip.

“You’re gonna be fine, kid,” Bill said firmly. “You’ll see.”

Dipper looked up at him and recoiled. “Bill, your eye-”

“I know.” Bill was continuing his spell as though nothing was wrong, but Dipper couldn’t stop staring at the thin, short shard of metal that was impaled in his right eye socket. The eyeball was clearly punctured, and blood and fluid steadily streamed down his cheek.

“You need a medic,” Dipper muttered, strength fading.

“So do you. But first I’m making sure every single one of these bastards is dead. I may be evil, but at least I don’t break a deal. They promised us safe passage. They _lied._  They hurt us, and they will suffer.”

Dipper’s head was spinning. He slid out of Bill’s grasp, and one of the others caught him.

“It hurts so much, I think I’ll just… take a nap,” Dipper slurred, eyes falling shut.

The heat and light disappeared, as did the screaming. Everything grew eerily calm, and Bill lifted Dipper in his arms. “Sapling, are you awake?”

“Gh.” Dipper managed to grunt in response.

“Oh good. Listen to me, don’t fall asleep! You can’t fall asleep, just stay awake, listen to the sound of my voice. We’re going back to the base, we’re teleporting right now Dipper, just hold on.”

Dipper was fading out though, and he couldn’t even find the strength to open his eyes, just idly smiling. “Did we win?”

“Of course. We won. We’re all okay.”

“Mh. Good. I’ll have to celebrate… In the morning. I’m really tired.” Dipper felt a quick pressure around him, but then it disappeared. He was still conscious, but delirious from the pain and exhaustion when Bill rushed him into the high-priority medical tent.

He struggled a bit as his armor was being removed, the tugging hurting him even more, but finally it was off and a good portion of his clothing removed, and Bill’s hand gently rubbing his forehead was enough to get him to open his eyes, at least for a while.

“Does this hurt?” the mage asked many times, prodding along his side, and each time he would confirm that it did. Then she reached his arm itself, squeezing it. “How about here?”

Dipper frowned. He didn’t feel anything. “That doesn’t hurt, but… I don’t really feel it.”

“Move your fingers for me.”

Dipper tried to move them, but they stayed immobile. He stared at them, putting all his will into making them move. Nothing.

The human bit his lip, chest aching and tears pricking at his eyes. Why was he crying? He wasn’t sure.

“Sir, it would be best for him if I let him rest,” the mage said to Bill. “And we need to tend to your vessel as well.”

“Very well,” Bill said. “I trust your judgment. I know you have many more patients, so do what you can to save him, but don’t do so much that you can’t help anyone else. I have faith in you.” He was tugged away by someone else, and Dipper felt himself drift off.

“Is it safe to sleep now?” he asked.

“Yes, absolutely fine,” she replied, still feeling him. “I’ll make sure you don’t die.”

“Thank you.” Dipper sighed and blissfully passed out, finally freeing himself from the pain in his body. That had been a terrifying battle… but at least it was all over now. Maybe Bill would finish conquering Earth despite this defiance. That was a last ditch effort and Bill roasted them all alive. Things would be good when he woke up. Just… had to wait and see…

 

Dipper was greeted by Bill’s smiling face when he woke up. Bill’s face, with a wicked burn scar across the right side and a black patch over that eye.

“Bill?” Dipper blinked, squinting at him.

“Hey, kid. Finally awake. You were starting to make me wonder.” Bill stroked his hair, and Dipper smiled, leaning into the touch.

“I’m pretty hard to kill.”

“You sure are.” Bill cupped his cheek. “How do you feel?”

“Sore, but… okay.”

“You had internal bleeding, but we stopped it. Some cracked bones… mending, but you’ll have to refrain from heavy physical activity for a while. And…” Bill hesitated, and resumed stroking Dipper’s hair. “Lots of burns all along your left side. And deeper scars from metal shrapnel. They… won’t go away. These will be permanent. So will the one on my face. Though it should fade more than yours.”

“That’s all right… they’re just scars. I don’t mind. At least I still have all my limbs.”

Bill was silent, and Dipper could tell he was trying to be neutral, but his eye flicked toward Dipper’s left side.

Dipper immediately turned his head to look, and shrieked at the blotchy skin where his arm was once attached. “Oh my God, Bill, where’s my arm, what did they do?!” He began hyperventilating, eyes watering. He instinctively tried to move his arm, but simply felt nothing but a twinge of pain as his clavicle shifted. An entire area where he once had awareness… simply gone.

“Dipper, it’s okay, listen to me!” Bill took his head in both hands, forcing him to look forward again. “I know it’s frightening and it probably feels really weird, but we had no choice. The burns were third degree. Your arm was… beyond saving. The nerves were ruined. So I authorized an amputation.”

“You mean to tell me that no one on this entire base full of _magic users_ could have repaired it?!”

“No, not without spending an extraordinary amount of energy that would have been ridiculous to use on a single patient! These mages need to treat everyone, not just you. They saved you in the best way they could while still being able to help others. Trust me, if we could have saved your arm, we would have.”

Dipper reached over to touch the scarred skin, feeling stitches. Tears ran down his face. “Oh God, it’s really… God…” He started shaking, and Bill pulled him into a hug.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I should have been paying attention, that grenade landed right next to us and I didn’t even notice… you should have just run, this body is replaceable. Yours isn’t. Sure, I like this body, but if it gets killed then I’ll easily take another host.”

“I didn’t think about it, I just wanted to get you out of the way, and… I’m sorry.” Dipper buried his face against Bill’s neck. “And now you have to live with a missing eye…”

“Always seems to happen to my hosts one way or another. The universe has a sick sense of humor.”

Dipper looked up at the other’s face, and Bill gently wiped his tears away with a thumb. Dipper started to raise his hand, remembered that he only had one now, and raised the other, touching Bill’s cheekbone under the eyepatch. “Can I…?”

Bill nodded, and he carefully slid the eyepatch up so he could see. The scarring was deeper here, but the eyeball had been completely removed, no visible remnants of it left inside the socket. It was disconcerting, the way the skin seemed to droop without the organ, but as least it looked like a clean job. He leaned up to place a gentle kiss below the socket, and pulled the patch back over it. He saw Bill’s lips curve into a smile, and then the other was kissing him.

Dipper’s eyes drifted shut, and he slid his hand to Bill’s neck, gently rubbing the skin as he kissed back. It was all right, he tried to tell himself. They were alive. They were alive and that was all that mattered.

“And hey, at least it was your non-dominant hand that you lost,” Bill murmured.

Dipper giggled a bit. “Heh, yeah. It’d be hard learning to write with my left hand.”

“Writing? Who said anything about writing, I’d be more concerned about it affecting the quality of your handjobs.”

Dipper hit his chest. “Pervert.”

Bill grinned, and he laughed. The demon wrapped his arms around him, cuddling and kissing all over his face, and he couldn’t help it; he happily snuggled back. Despite this, Bill was still optimistic.

“Why wouldn’t I be? We've won. Things got heavy, we got badly hurt, but we won.” Bill lifted his chin, brushing his bangs away from his forehead. “And we’re gonna get you a prosthetic. Something really cool and shiny and probably robotic… just wait.”

“That’ll be nice. It’s so weird not being able to feel anything here…” Dipper kept wanting to wiggle his fingers or flex his arm, and it was the most unsettling feeling when nothing happened.

“Sorry, I really should have put a wooden one on you, at least as a placeholder… but we didn’t have any available and I didn’t want to go anywhere, I just wanted to stay here with you until you woke up.”

Dipper motioned for Bill to lay down next to him, and when the other did, he rolled and snuggled up to his chest. “Thank you.”

Bill began stroking his back. “Don’t mention it.”

They laid together for a while. Dipper felt no urge to get up. He just wanted to lay with his partner and not think about the outside world or his missing limb or anything. Just… relax. He really didn’t feel that bad right now. Maybe they had him on painkiller or they healed the rest of him pretty well. Whatever it was, he felt okay.

Bill offered no explanation, but that was fine. As Dipper opened his mind to his partner’s thoughts, he saw that he was pretty worn out right now, surprisingly not thinking about much. Mostly there was just relief that Dipper was alive. After a few moments, Bill started humming, and Dipper felt his body grow heavy, as if he was about to fall asleep. And he would have loved to, but Bill soon rubbed his shoulder and sat up.

“No point in moping around. You should stand and walk around a bit, get some blood flowing. And come greet everyone who’s calling you a hero for how willing you were to sacrifice yourself for me. Even if it was kinda in vain but hey, they don’t need to know that.”

Dipper groaned, but pushed himself up too. Taking Bill’s hand, he got to his feet. His body felt unbalanced, and he stumbled. Bill just smiled at him patiently, and he took careful steps through the tent. He had been moved from the high priority down to the low, and saw others watching him as he walked. They seemed sympathetic toward him. There were murmurs about him being awarded a Purple Heart. Or some kind of equivalent.

“I already give everyone who gets injured a medal, as you should know, you got one yourself long ago,” Bill said. “But maybe I’ll give you something special. How does walking feel? All right?”

“Yeah, I guess… my side really hurts though.”

“It will for a while. Just keep your head up. Come on, wanna step outside?”

“I’m practically naked.” Dipper had noticed he was still in just underwear, while Bill had pulled on pants but not much else.

“No one’s gonna care. You need fresh air that isn’t tainted with blood and disease, come on.” Bill pushed open the door and walked outside with him. Dipper inhaled as he stepped into the clean air. Well, it wasn’t that clean, the camp was rife with the underlying scent of gunpowder and ashes, but still. It was better than in there.

Dipper felt Bill squeeze his hand, and straightened up, following him.

“I wish I had a bandage around this, I feel so exposed,” Dipper commented, more than aware of the eyes following him.

“Wear your battle scars with pride. We would have bandaged it, but it was cleaned very well, we figured there was no need. If you want it wrapped, we can arrange that later.”

“I probably will… but I do want to stretch my legs.” Dipper could feel soreness in them now, but at least they worked. The left one felt especially bad, sometimes buckling, but it had survived.

Bill waved and spoke to others as they passed them, trading details of the various attacks. As he had suspected, this had happened all over, but the most brutal retaliation had been against the team Dipper and and Bill were in. But every team had fought back valiantly until none of their enemies were left standing, before fleeing to safety. But Bill’s side had taken a lot of casualties. Many couldn’t be saved. Bill would have to recruit more people to his side. Demon and human, he would take whatever he could get. That is, if this war continued much longer, which it probably wouldn’t. That had been the humans’ last hope.

“It’s a necessary loss, though,” Bill said to Dipper. “This is almost over.”

“Yeah.” Dipper found a bench and sank onto it, groaning. Bill sat next to him, on his injured side, so he could lean against him and hide the wounds from sight. Dipper rested his hand on his leg, and Bill reached over to take it. “I can’t wait for this to be done. I was supposed to be done with the fighting, and yet there I went, trying to help and be the hero...”

“Your help was incredibly valuable to the mission. You got us down into that bunker and we secured the weapons. We made our necessary threats with them and now the President is discussing the terms of the country’s surrender _right now_. You did incredible out there. I know you haven’t been Colonel Pines for long, but… I think you’re ready for the final promotion to General Pines. You’ve earned it.”

Dipper smiled, turning his head to kiss the other. “It’d be more of a formality than anything, huh?”

“Yeah, you probably won’t need to command anyone again. You’ll just be known as my second in command. I’m so proud of you.”

“Then I look forward to being promoted one more time.”

“I’m glad. I’ll promote you as soon as you’re feeling better. Probably once we get you that prosthetic we talked about, and your wounds have healed up. Which, by the way… you almost suffered permanent hearing loss in one ear as well. Luckily, we were able to fix that.”

“Good. I would hate to lose that much of my hearing.” Dipper watched the other troops, then said, “Hey, is Pavonis all right? I haven’t seen him around and he was with one of those teams. I think they got away but...”

“Oh, he’s fine. He’s probably meditating and recovering energy right now, same as the other demons with magical specialties. Do you want me to call on him? I’m sure he’d love to see you.”

“Hm… some other time, maybe.” Dipper got up, glancing indecisively toward the chow hall. “I’m hungry, but… I don’t know if I feel like sitting around over there. I probably wouldn’t want to get up.”

“Heh, I know that feel. Hey, I’ll get you up afterward, don’t worry. If you’re hungry, let’s go eat. But you probably should put on some clothes before going in there, at least.”

“Good idea. Let’s stop by our tent.”

After pulling on some casual clothing, the two went to eat. Dipper ended up telling his story of what happened to several curious troops, and all of them were impressed by his bravery. And then they had their own stories to tell, and kept asking questions. Finally, Bill shooed them away so Dipper could actually eat.

Once done, they returned to the medical tent. Technically Bill had his own cot, but he didn’t use it, just squeezing onto Dipper’s. The cot was small, but they were skinny enough to both fit. Nothing was going to stop them from holding each other. So they did, just talking quietly, enjoying each other’s company. Both were checked on a few times throughout the day. Their burns were treated with a soothing medicine cream, and Dipper got his shoulder wrapped in bandages to hide the scarring from where his arm was removed, just as a small comfort to him. And there were painkillers to take, which was pretty awesome. But it just ended up making Dipper fall asleep. Bill didn’t complain. The man needed his sleep, and so did his own body. When he too drifted off, he simply slipped out of the vessel and into Dipper’s Dreamscape, spending time with him there.


	38. Finally Over

Word of Dipper and Bill's injuries spread fairly quickly. Many of their troops, human and demon alike, sought them out to express their condolences and thank them for their sacrifice. Several demons gifted in healing checked out Dipper, providing opinions on how much energy it would probably take to regrow his entire arm from nothing. The chances of doing that in wartime weren't too good, but they said that once everything was over, then someone would probably be able to spare the magic for it. If not, they could fashion one entirely out of magic, but that was also going to be difficult. It was one thing to heal a small area, or replace a hand or a few fingers, but making an entire limb was quite a different task.

They had the same issue with Bill's eye. If there was any eye left to heal, that would be different, but the eye had been removed completely. But Bill told people not to worry, that he hardly noticed the difference in vision, he had other senses to compensate.

Their friend Pavonis found their injuries sad, but he made fun of Bill nonetheless.

“Always the eye, Cipher,” he joked, grasping Bill's face and tilting it as he looked closely at the patch, lifting it so he could see the empty socket underneath. “Your vessels can never seem to keep both of them.”

“It's like the universe is playing some horrible joke on me,” Bill replied.

“Seriously.” Pavonis let go of him and turned to Dipper. “As for you... I just feel really bad about your arm. I can't imagine what that's like, losing the entire thing. I hope they're able to find a suitable replacement for it.”

“I'm sure they will, we've been looking into prosthetics,” Dipper replied.

“That's good. Maybe get you something high-tech and robotic, eh? Oh that would be nice, something metal and shiny that they can plug right into your nerves, so you can control it like a normal arm...”

“That would be expensive,” Bill said. “But I'll do anything for my sapling. As soon as this war is over, we'll look into finding a suitable prosthetic company.”

“Good idea. As soon as this is over!” Pavonis clapped them on the backs. “I wish you guys luck. You need anything, come find me.” He headed off, and Dipper and Bill returned to making their rounds.

It took several days, but finally the United States declared its surrender. All Bill had left to do was sign a treaty. He made sure he looked as good as possible, though there wasn’t much he could do about the burn on his face or the missing eye. He just kept on his eye patch and brushed his hair to cover it.

Dipper was even worse off in terms of appearance, but he had recovered most of his strength by the time they had to go meet with the President. Bill had gotten a prosthetic for him, nothing too complex yet; just a simple plastic arm so he would have something there. He promised that he was working on getting him a proper, mechanical prosthetic that he would actually be able to use.

Though Dipper couldn’t move this arm much, he still appreciated having the weight there. He didn’t feel so off balance now. He flexed his shoulder to bring the arm up, examining it. It had fingers, though he had no way to manipulate them. He let it drop.

“You can just move it with magic if you need,” Bill said. They were getting dressed, putting on their formal uniforms. Dipper wasn’t wearing stars yet, but it won’t be long until he was. As it was, the colonel rank was impressive enough.

“Yeah.” Dipper had trouble dressing with only one arm, but he managed. And Bill kindly helped button up his shirt and coat.

Bill frowned, glancing at Dipper’s face. “You okay?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah.”

“You haven’t talked much recently. I would have thought you’d be more excited.”

“I am, I’m just… kinda upset still. You know, about…” Dipper wiggled the prosthetic. “I could have avoided this, if I had just seen that grenade sooner, I’d still have my arm, you’d have your eye…”

“It’s okay,” Bill said, smoothing out Dipper’s tie. “I don’t mind being without an eye. I’m used to that. And we’re both alive. What more could I want?”

Dipper sighed, resting his head forward against Bill’s. “I want this to end.”

“It’s almost over. No one else is trying to fight us. No one except small rebel militias, and that’s easily taken care of. Soon, Dipper. Soon we’ll be able to relax. Spend the rest of your life together. After all, you are still sworn to me. But by this point, I consider you my equal.” Bill cupped his cheeks, kissing his nose. “You are so bright. I can’t wait to teach you everything I know.”

Bill seemed so excited and sincere about it, and Dipper smiled, pressing his lips to the other’s for a moment. “What more is there to teach me?” he teased. “It feels like you’ve already crammed a ton of knowledge into my head in just a few months.”

“Yes and I have so much more than that to teach you. My knowledge is infinite, dear sapling, and I want to share as much as I can with you.” Bill tenderly ran his fingers through Dipper’s hair, and then dropped them to his uniform, straightening it a bit. “You’ve suffered greatly since joining me… Your devotion is undeniable. You deserve a reward.”

“A full night’s sleep would be nice,” Dipper said. “Sleeping in. I don’t think I’ve slept more than eight hours at a time since I joined you.”

“Isn’t that all you need?”

“Well yeah but it’s nice to just keep on sleeping, with no alarms or Reveille or fear of being bombed… just sleeping in a nice warm bed, in a house, for like twelve hours… And then even when we wake up, just laying there and talking for like two more. I’d like that.”

Bill nodded. “I’d like that too. And we can do that very soon. But for now, what do ya say we go talk to Mr. President.”

They checked themselves over one more time, and then took each other’s hands as they walked outside. They were going to be flown to Washington D.C. via helicopter, and it was already waiting for them outside the gate, along with a second identical copter that would be a decoy.

They were shown to the one they would be using and got in, along with a few of their troops in battle uniform with rifles, just in case. There were US Marines onboard to guard them, but they couldn’t entirely trust them.

The mood in the helicopter was fairly tense, the troops sizing each other up, while Dipper and Bill made small talk, not wanting to discuss anything too important within earshot of the US service members.

Mostly they leaned against each other in their seat, hands clasped, just relaxing and looking out the window.

One of their people sat down across from them at one point, and they discussed the recent missions to the nuclear bases and the results. The damage from the bombs had been spread out but catastrophic. The locations where they had fallen were now radioactive for miles around, and likely would be uninhabitable for hundreds of years. Even walking into the areas to attempt recovery of people and belongings was too dangerous, and the task was only being undertaken by those who were either willing to suffer the long term effects, or would be dying soon anyway so it didn’t really matter.

Still, the areas were mostly left alone. There was no point to taking objects out; those were radioactive too now. Hardly anything was left in one piece anyway. So the ruined towns stood abandoned.

“I didn’t want to go that far,” Bill said. “But we were being threatened and our enemy wasn’t budging. So I gave the order. And now look! The war is ending. A few more loose ends to tie up and we can move on and forget all this. And everyone can enjoy the new age I have brought to this world.”

Bill certainly made it sound glamorous. But Dipper was aware of how many people hated them. The arguments on social media were fierce, the news articles laced with underlying contempt, he could see the anger and fear in the politicians that talked about it. Sure, comedians found jokes to make about the situation, but they still portrayed it negatively. No one agreed with what Bill did except his own people. A few were just glad the fighting was over, but they never wanted it to go this far.

“Could be worse, I suppose,” Bill mused.

“And what could possibly be worse than a bunch of nuclear bombs?” Dipper asked.

“Well biological warfare for one. I could have poisoned people. But that ran too high a risk of hurting my own soldiers and that wouldn’t have been good. Or I could have gone with _chemical_ warfare, oh THAT would have been fun. But this worked just fine.” Bill looked at one of the Marines who was posted at the door, who seemed quite annoyed to be escorting them. “Hey, Marine. How publicized is this treaty signing? Do people know we’re coming?”

The man straightened his stance, responding curtly, “Everyone knows about this. They do not know the exact details and time of your arrival, only when the signing will be. We will be landing at Bolling Air Force Base and you’ll be transferred to an unmarked vehicle for your trip to the White House.”

“Sounds good to me,” Bill said. “Thank you, sir. And relax a little, nothing’s gonna touch us up here.” The Marine didn’t reply, but Bill read the next thoughts that went through his mind. “We put a ward on this thing the moment we stepped inside. Any bullets or missiles come at us and they’ll bounce off. Besides, even if we were taken out by something like that, there’s not much you’d be able to do about it. So relax.” Bill chuckled and looked back over at Dipper. “How much do you think he gets paid?”

“Not near enough.” Dipper sank a little more against Bill’s side, and the demon began stroking his hair. It was a fairly unprofessional display, but there were no cameras watching them in here (at least, none that the media would get a hold of) so they didn’t really care. They found comfort in holding each other. Especially Dipper, who has been depressed since the accident and felt much better when near his partner, whose attention reaffirmed that he was loved and important.

Dipper hasn’t told his family about what happened yet. They knew he was involved with the recent battle, but he didn’t tell them about losing his arm. He was still trying to figure out the best way to break it to them. No matter what they would be incredibly concerned about it. Maybe he should just wait until after he has a proper prosthetic, and let them find out by showing it to them. That might be the best option.

It seemed to take forever, but eventually the helicopter landed and they were led out. Dipper and Bill briefly met with high-ranking officers from the military base they landed at, and exchanging the proper courtesies when approaching them, saluting and greeting them politely. It seemed to win them some respect. Once they were in the car, they could see the officers nodding in approval as they talked to each other.

“Customs and courtesies are everything,” Bill said to Dipper. “See, I militarized us for a reason. I know what I’m doing.”

“I never doubted you,” Dipper replied, nudging him with a smile. “So are we gonna salute the president?”

“He’s not our commander in chief so no, haha. Oh sure we’ll give him respect, but we’re probably going to meet him inside so we wouldn’t salute anyway.”

“All right.”

There was lots of press when the car reached the White House, but no one was close enough to really bother them. When Dipper and Bill got out with their entourage, they were very quickly led inside, flanked by secret service. They could talk to the reporters later.

That is, if they don’t just bail and go to the Smithsonian afterward of course. Dipper had been quick to point it out while still in the car, and Bill agreed that they could use some fun. First they had to get through this treaty signing and officially win the war. Then they could go to the museums.

Bill probably didn't care much, but Dipper was pretty excited to meet the President. Not many people can say they've done that. Though the ones that have probably weren't meeting him under such tense conditions.

Nonetheless, the President was cordial and spoke to them politely, making small talk as they exchanged introductions, but they were soon sitting down to go over the treaty and discuss its terms.

Dipper let Bill handle this, mostly just occupying himself with checking out the room, keeping his eyes on the security, and sometimes looking out the huge window beyond the President's desk. It was a pretty nice view.

“This is acceptable,” Bill said at last, having gone over every line. He was excellent with contracts, and that was really all this was, just written down. “So when we sign this, you are stating that you will no longer oppose my forces, and in return we must stop our assaults on your country? Including but not limited to cities, military installations, and natural resources?”

“Yes, sir. Your people are already living among Americans, and I am willing to accept them as citizens, but they must stop attacking people. They want to live here, they need to follow the laws like everyone else.”

Bill observed the other for a few moments, then nodded slowly. “I understand. My people don't generally like rules, but I'm sure they can make an exception, as the benefits outweigh the cons. I'll make sure they know what's expected of them. But I can't control every single one, just as you cannot control every single human. They will probably still commit crimes. And I will work with your justice system to make sure they can be punished as needed. In fact, I'll instigate my own system, where if they are discovered to be partaking in heinous acts, they will be returned to their own dimensions, wherever that may be. The message will get across.”

The President agreed. “I still don't understand what you were intending to accomplish with this war, we could have integrated peacefully.”

“Sir, given the history of humanity... no we couldn't have.”

The other didn't really seem to have an argument against that. They talked for only a few minutes longer before signing, and it felt like a weight had lifted from Dipper's shoulders when they stood up and shook hands. It was done. This was finally done. Sure, there were still fights happening in other countries, but things were going to be wrapped up worldwide within a few days. He personally would not need to fight anymore.

They were escorted outside, where there was plenty of reporters to press them for information, and they could see civilians protesting beyond, but they ignored them, instead just answering questions as thoroughly as they could, though in the end Bill just said, “The treaty will become available for public reading very soon, and my army will be disbanded and its people allowed to pursue their own interests. I expect you to welcome back the human troops. You don't have to agree with them, but understand that assaulting them for what they've done will not be tolerated. We'll know if they have trouble.” He grasped Dipper's hand, tugging him along as they jogged through the crowd. “Now if y'all don't mind, we both feel we deserve some fun. Get out of our way, we're going to the Smithsonian!”

Dipper laughed as they got into the car from earlier and Bill told the driver where to take them. “So we're really going there?”

“You've always wanted to go, right? Well, we're right nearby, we might as well!”

So they did. Dipper had a great time despite how they were followed everywhere they went. Things were going back to normal. He was so glad this was finally over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea how politics works but this sure is a chapter with politics all right


	39. A New Beginning

There was a lot of work to be done even with the treaty signed. Bill had to keep a close eye on his people, making sure they weren't abusing humans, working with the justice system to make sure human law enforcement knew how to handle them, and ended up just persuading criminal justice schools to take demons as students, because after all, who was better at handling demons than other demons?

Tensions between the species had to be settled, and it was just too much for Bill to handle all by himself, so he assigned ambassadors to handle it for him. Dipper agreed that it was for the best; Bill tended to get pissed off and violent when things didn't work out quickly.

With affairs handled, Bill turned his attention more to his partner. Dipper was having trouble adjusting to the new peace, and it worried Bill. He could tell that the man was paranoid, flinching often and constantly scanning his surroundings when they were out in public. He often clutched at his prosthetic, staring off into the distance, and Bill would have to gently bring him back to the present.

As they were packing up the tent that had been their home for many months, Bill heard Dipper muttering to himself. He couldn't make out anything distinct, but a simple peek at Dipper's thoughts revealed that he was anxious. Bill frowned and walked over to him, touching a hand to his lower back. “It's me,” he said when the other tensed. “I'm going to hug you.”

Dipper relaxed, and Bill wrapped his arms around him, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“What's up, sapling?”

“Nothing,” Dipper sighed.

“Well it's definitely something.”

“I just... it feels so weird that it's all over, I no longer hear bullets or explosions, people are packing up and leaving, returning to their lives or starting new ones, and here I am, still alive, but I just feel so... different.” Dipper stared at his prosthetic, then tilted his head to lean it against Bill's. “I want my arm back.”

“I'm sure you do, and we're going to get you one. I've already been in contact with one of the most prestigious prosthetics companies in the country, and they can make you a full mechanical arm that will work just as well as your old one, if not better.”

“I'd like that.”

Bill kissed his cheek. “I know a lot of our troops have moved on, but we still need to have your promotion ceremony. I bet they'll come if we invited them. When do you want to do that?”

“I don't know... maybe after I have more time to recover? I'm still sore in a lot of places, walking hurts, and of course there's this...” He shifted his shoulder to make the prosthetic swing. “After I get my new arm. Then we can do the ceremony.”

“Okay. And waking up Ford? When are you going to do that?”

Dipper chewed on his lip. “I... guess we should do that now. It's over, he doesn't need to be asleep anymore.”

“Yeah. When we're done here, you wanna go over there and get him?”

“Sure.”

They finished packing, and then Bill took Dipper's hand, using his energy to teleport them to the old training base. It was still going to be used, but only to train reserve units and provide remedial education for those who needed it. It was currently being downsized and fortified, so it was easier to guard and more difficult for rebels to attack. But they didn't have much worry of that happening anymore. Demons and humans had an uneasy peace with each other. Having seen what demons are capable of, no one wanted to challenge them anymore.

Dipper and Bill went into the small tent where Ford was kept.

“Sleeping beauty,” Bill chuckled as they walked up to the bed. “Time to wake up.”

“You think we should restrain him somehow?” Dipper asked. “He's not going to be happy.”

“No, he won't be. He's also not going to be healthy.” Bill gestured to Ford's face, which looked pale. “Not eating for months takes its toll on a body. He may try to attack us, but he'll probably collapse. And he doesn't have any weapons. All right, let's do this.” He knelt next to him, running his thumb over his forehead and murmuring a spell, then snapped his fingers.

Ford was talking before his eyes were even open. “What do you mean I'm not worth-” Then his eyes were open and landing on Dipper, and he lunged forward to grab his shoulders. “Where have you teleported us to now? And did you change clothes? And why-” He suddenly broke into a coughing fit, hands loosening, and Dipper lowered him back down.

“Easy, grunkle Ford,” Dipper said quietly, feeling the other's forehead. “Bill knocked you out. You've been asleep for a long time.”

“What? Last thing I remember was Bill telling me I... I'm not worth keeping awake.” Ford's eyes widened, and he struggled to get up. “But I didn't dream, then? How long has it been? Where am I? Why do I feel so sick all of a sudden?”

“You've been out for months. You didn't eat or drink in all that time. You need to recover.”

Ford scowled and grabbed for Dipper's arm. Incidentally, the left one. The moment his hand touched the plastic, he started. “Wait a moment, what is...” He stroked over the material, brows furrowing, before realization struck. “What happened to your arm?”

“Lost it,” Dipper said bluntly. “Grenade. It exploded close to me as I was trying to toss it away with a levitation spell. Took out my arm and left permanent burns on my skin.” He pulled up his shirt to show Ford the red marks all down his side. “I'm gonna be getting a better prosthetic soon but for now I have this.”

“They couldn't heal that?”

“With my arm, there was nothing to heal. They were in a hurry treating lots of patients, it was after a serious battle with lots of people wounded, so all they had time for was amputating the limb and stitching up the wound. Otherwise I was just going to be left with a dead limb.” Dipper shrugged. “Whatever though. We won.”

“You won?”

“Yes. It's over. The President signed a treaty. Demons are integrating with humans. It's done. So you're free to go.”

Ford pushed Dipper aside, trying to get up. “No, unacceptable, where's Bill, that slimy little-”

“Here,” Bill said.

Ford whipped toward him, and then wrapped his arms around his stomach, groaning. Dipper supported him as he stood. The man weakly pointed at the demon. “Y-you? Who's body is that?”

“Mine. At least it is now. It used to belong to a US soldier but don't worry about him, he's long dead by now. He didn't suffer.” Bill smirked, cocking his head. “You're looking well, Fordsy. How much do you feel like fighting us now?”

“If I wasn't so tired I'd be throttling you!”

“You act as though I wouldn't enjoy that.” Bill flicked Ford's nose. “Give it up, old man. We've won. Any opposition will be swiftly crushed. My people are walking among yours now, and you know what? Things are great. They're having fun being outside of their horrible dimensions, they're throwing parties and interacting with humans, helping humans get the things they want, and in return they grow stronger. We can get along. Just you wait and see.”

“So why the war, Cipher? WHY did you have to cause so much destruction and death?”

“It was fun.” Ford made a disgusted noise, and Bill continued, “And in a way it was necessary. What do you think would have happened if we had just come a knocking and been like 'hey humans we wanna live with you' looking like the stuff all their religious texts said were evil and harbingers of the end times and all that nonsense? They would have attacked us. Did you think it could have been settled peacefully? No. You know how horribly intolerant humans can be. So we waged war first. And _now_ humans understand how powerful we are, and they won't try to fight us.”

“So you tried to befriend humans... through fear and violence? And you're calling us the horrible ones?”

Bill waved his hand. “Whatever, you guys have too many morals, it's pathetic. What's done is done, Sixer. Accept it. Go back to Stan, he misses you dearly. Forget about us, get on your boat, and go have fun. There won't be many of us in the ocean.”

Ford scoffed. “As long as I'm still breathing, I will fight you.”

“With that attitude you won't be breathing for long,” Bill said coolly.

Dipper interrupted, leaning against Ford and giving him a one-armed hug. “I know you want to resist. It's part of who you are. But it's useless. Bill won. I don't want you to get hurt. Your family misses you. Please, just give up.”

“Dipper,” Ford started to protest, but then he really took a look at Dipper's face, now that he was close to him. He stared at the bags under his eyes, the burn on his left cheek that traveled down his neck, how much older and weary he seemed to be now. “This hasn't been easy on you, has it?”

“That's an understatement.”

“Yet you stuck through it, and now... I'm assuming you're some sort of war hero? At least for Bill's side?”

“Pretty much. I'm a colonel. In fact I'm going to become a general soon.”

Ford nodded and sighed, looking at Bill. “I don't agree with what either of you have done. I don't want any part in this new world you've described. Demons and humans co-existing... I can't see this working out. Sooner or later it's going to fall apart, and you'll be at war again. So... I think I will just keep traveling with Stan. For the rest of my life. Far away from your people.”

“Wow, racist,” Bill commented. “But that's your choice. Thank you for being reasonable. I could always count on you to use logic.” He fluffed up Ford's hair, grinning when the man batted him away. “Dipper, how about we take him to the chow hall for some food? Guy must be starving.”

“Sure.” Dipper had to keep his arm around Ford, but they managed to make their way over to the building, and though Ford was stubborn at first, once he started eating it was like he couldn't stop. He went through several glasses of water and barely used silverware, just shoveling in food without prejudice. It was fairly entertaining to watch, and once Ford finally had enough, he already looked to be in better health.

“Okay,” he said as he wiped his mouth with a napkin, “I'd like to get out of here, I want to see my brother.”

“And I'm sure he wants to see you,” Bill replied. “But first, we need your word that you won't fight us. You won't start any new militias, you won't try to inconvenience demons, you are going to move on with your life. Got it?”

“Fine.”

Bill reached over to him. “Shake on it.”

“Ah, you got me. Okay, Cipher. I promise, I won't try to fight you.” Ford reached for his hand.

“And uncross your fingers,” Bill said with a smile. “I see what you're doing behind your back.”

Ford scowled and set his other hand on the table. “But on the condition that you don't intentionally make human lives a living hell. We're people and we deserve respect. You wouldn't want to be tortured, so don't torture us. Got it?”

“Oh, I would never,” Bill drawled. “I think I've done enough of that to last me a few centuries. I have other ways of getting what I want from humans.” He shook Ford's hand.

“Hey, do you think you could avoid mentioning this to Mabel or anyone?” Dipper said, gesturing to his arm. “I'm gonna break it to them myself.”

“I won't tell anyone. You have my word.”

“Thank you. And I'm... really sorry for my part in all this, but I did it for you and the rest of my family. I wanted to protect you. I thought... I don't know, maybe I would be useful. Maybe I would be just what Bill needed to get the war over with quickly, so things could go back to normal. Or as normal as they can be with demons breaking out into our world. And I learned a lot, I have powers I never thought I would have, but... at a great cost.” Dipper somberly gripped his prosthetic. “My arm isn't the only thing I've lost to this war.”

“I'm sorry. You were given a difficult choice. It's one I would have chosen differently, but who knows... maybe if I had actually been there in that situation, I would have done what you did. I would want to keep everyone safe, even at risk to my own health. You've sacrificed a lot for something you believe in. I can respect that. And you and Bill seem...” Ford gestured vaguely.

“We're a couple,” Bill supplied. “We're very close.”

“Yes. I'm not even going to ask, I don't want to know, just... I hope things get better for you, Dipper. I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but know that despite everything, we're still family.” Ford gently rubbed Dipper's back, then stood. “You have my number. Call if you need me.”

“Yeah. I will,” Dipper said, a little happier now.

Ford turned to Bill. “Can I go home now?”

“I suppose. Come on, I'll make sure Stan is caught up on where you've been.” Bill took Ford's wrist and teleported with him without warning, and Dipper caught a yelp of surprise from the man before they disappeared.

Chuckling, Dipper took a few bites of his own food. So Ford accepted what happened. Surprising, but maybe his age was finally catching up to him. He really wasn't healthy enough to keep fighting the supernatural, especially after that sleep spell. Hopefully he just did what he said he was going to do and live out his days with his brother, going sailing and living their dream.

When Bill returned, he was smiling. “You should have seen them, they just ran at each other and grabbed each other in a hug and swung around... so cute. And they were fussing over each other and asking each other about how they've been and I really think Ford has figured out his family is more important than fighting me.”

“I hope my family takes me back that easily,” Dipper said.

“They love you. I'm sure they will. Mabel calls you like every night asking how you're doing and telling you about what things are like in California. She keeps asking when you're coming back. She loves you, and I'm sure your parents do too. Ford accepted you. Stan might be hard to convince, but still, he'll probably only punch you a few times.”

Dipper laughed at that. “Probably. Again, once things have calmed down and I'm feeling better, maybe after I'm a general... I'll go home.”

“And after that?” Bill asked, curling their fingers together.

“Well... I still really want to go to college and start that TV show,” Dipper mused.

“And where will you live?”

“Heh. I guess with you.”

“Will you be okay?”

It was a question with a deep meaning behind it, and Dipper looked at him for several moments without speaking as he sorted through his emotions. Then he replied honestly, “No, I don't think I'll be entirely okay. But I think I can be content. And I'll get better. After I get a new arm, after my promotion, once I'm settled in wherever we choose to live and I'm going to college and people stop glaring at me wherever I go... maybe then I have a chance.”

Bill brushed some of Dipper's hair behind his ear and then rested their foreheads together. “I'll help you every step of the way. You've done so much for me, and I appreciate it all. This wouldn't have been over with as quickly as it was without your guidance, and I thank you. Whatever you need, tell me. And I'll provide.”

“I think I need therapy and a puppy.”

“I understand. Then therapy and a puppy you will get.”

They chuckled, and Dipper kissed the other. So their future wasn't going to be perfect, but really, he knew that from the moment Bill first appeared to him in the Mystery Shack. That felt like so long ago. Was it really just last summer? So much has changed in that time, he's grown in so many ways and done things no man should have to do. But so be it. It was over. He was never going to pick up a weapon again, never going to harm another person, and he made sure Bill knew it. Of course they would still train together, and Bill would tutor him, but his days of being a war machine were behind him. It was time for him to honorably retire.

“I can respect that,” Bill said. “You were great at what you did, but I could tell you never enjoyed it. I suppose that's a testament to just how compassionate you are. Which is something to be proud of. I don't know what that's like.”

“I've cried for every single person I've killed. I remember all of their faces. I keep thinking about the people who had to bury them, the families and friends who loved them that will never see them again. It hurts like nothing else. Bullet wounds heal. But death? Death doesn't heal. Those people are gone forever. And it tears me apart knowing that I'm responsible for the suffering their loved ones went through. That's compassion, Bill. And it's a fucking bitch.”

Bill pulled him into a hug. “It means you're human. And I've grown to respect humans. Hey, no point in being so serious. We have lots to do. This is a new beginning for us. Let's get out of here and finish our chores, and then we can go back to your family and start looking into getting a house, all right?”

“What will you do while I'm going to college?”

“Me? Why, I'm gonna be leaving my body and doing the same old deal-making thing I've been doing for thousands of years, kid. I'll be gaining power and throwing parties and having a great time with my friends. And you're welcome to join in whenever you want.”

“Hm. I probably will. Your parties seem crazy from what I remember of Weirdmageddon but if you tone it back a bit...”

“Oh yes, it'll be toned back, to avoid that bodily harm thing you humans get so worked up about. But they'll be super fun nonetheless. Just you wait, things are gonna be great.”

Dipper nodded, and they stood, picking up their trays. Neither had eaten much, mostly making sure Ford was all right, but that was fine. They had plenty more chances to eat. Once the trays were put in their proper place, they took each other's hands and teleported back to their resident base to continue with the clean up operations. Both were more than ready to move on from this chapter of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost done... :> Just need a little more closure and then we can wrap this up. Stay tuned~


	40. Epilogue

Dipper's promotion to general was performed in later winter, a few weeks before the arrival of spring. He was fairly busy during the time before, not seeing his family face to face at all and still not telling them the extent of his injuries, though he got the feeling they must know by now, since he's been all over the news. But no one brought it up so maybe they hadn't noticed. He usually had long sleeves on, the temporary prosthetic was flesh-colored, and he did his best to just leave it at his side and not draw attention toward it.

But before the promotion ceremony, he received a new prosthetic. Bill had located the best bionic prosthetic company in the country and had told them that he would pay however much they needed to create a fully functioning arm for his partner. The technology was sound, it was simply expensive, but Bill said he didn't care. So the purchase was made. They were invited to oversee its production, and measurements were made of Dipper's remaining arm so they could try to match the new one's dimensions to it. At the very least, they said that they would try to make the weight the same so he didn't feel off-balanced.

Robotics was advancing at an astonishing rate, Dipper thought as he checked out the previous work done by this company. Many people have had the use of their limbs returned to them thanks to this technology. And the field was continuing to improve.

The anticipation for the prosthetic helped distract him. He still thought about what he did as a soldier, the lives he took and the people he hurt, and it still upset him, to the point that he had nightmares about it and would wake up screaming. Luckily, Bill was there to soothe him, to hold him and tell him that everything was okay, that he wouldn't have to do any of that again. Which helped a little, but Dipper still reflected on the past several months constantly unless he kept his mind occupied with something else. All Bill could do was provide the distractions for him.

When the day came for Dipper to finally receive his completed prosthetic, he was in a very good mood from the moment he woke up, which cheered Bill up too. He made sure he treated his partner to a great breakfast, and they talked of light topics as they headed to their appointment. There was some paperwork to be done, and Dipper was given a quick check-up, and then he was being directed to remove his shirt so they could take off the temporary prosthetic.

He did so, hardly able to sit still as the rigid plastic arm was carefully removed and set aside, and he watched with wonder as the new arm was lifted up. It was all sleek white silicon, the machinery of its joints somewhat visible but still covered in flexible plastic, and he noted that even the hand had the exact number of joints as a real one. Supposedly he would be able to control them individually, the prosthetic had sensors that would receive nerve impulses and then move accordingly, giving him the same range of motion he had before. He couldn't wait to find out.

The doctor showed him the top of the arm, explaining how it needed to be positioned to work correctly, and then slid it into place. It had two straps on it made of a thin and comfortable material, and these were wrapped around him to secure the prosthetic. The top strap went around his neck and rested on his other shoulder, and the lower strap crossed under his right arm and around his back. It was tightened into place, and he shifted his left shoulder at the weight, liking how it felt. It was a little strange, but it felt normal.

“Does that feel okay?” Dr. Smith asked.

Dipper glanced at the straps, nodding. “Yeah, I'm good.”

“All right, I'm going to turn it on. When I do, you'll probably feel a tingling sensation, but that just means it's working. After all, the signals go both ways. It will receive input from your brain... and then send output from hundreds of sensors in its surface right back to you. Just like a biological arm would.” Dr. Smith moved his finger to a small switch near the shoulder cuff, flicking it.

Dipper tensed as something like static tingled against his shoulder. The feeling traveled down, and without thinking, he shifted his left arm in an attempt to wave it off. Then he stopped, eyes widening.

“Dipper?” Bill asked with concern.

“It works.” Dipper stared at the arm, rotating it and lifting it. It moved as easily as his real one did. His eyes watered. “Bill, it works!”

“It seems to be operating correctly,” Dr. Smith said, placing his hand on the device's elbow. “Do you feel this?”

Dipper nodded. He could feel the other's touch. He couldn't quite explain how, it didn't quite feel normal, but... he was aware of it. He looked back at Bill, grinning, and took the demon's hand. Bill's fingers wound easily between his mechanical ones, and his heart leaped as he took Bill's other hand. Now he realized the difference, it felt like his left hand was coated in a thin sheen of plastic, but he supposed that was because of the texture of his new 'skin'. Tears ran down his cheeks. “Bill... I can feel you. I can feel how warm your hand is, how soft it is, this is... amazing!” He wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in for a kiss.

Bill chuckled as he hugged the other, closing his eye. “It's been a while since you've been able to hug me with both arms. I've missed this.”

“I've missed it too. God, this is better than I expected.” Dipper didn't seem to want to separate from him, and Bill could hear him sniff. “Thank you.”

“Don't thank me, thank the amazing scientists and doctors who made this possible,” Bill replied.

“Y-yeah. Of course.” Dipper leaned back, wiping his face off, and turned to Dr. Smith. “Thank you. Thank you so much, this is amazing, your team did such a great job on it.”

You're very welcome, Mr. Pines. I'm glad it's working for you, but I do need to go over some things.” He proceeded to explain that the arm did have a weight limit and probably wouldn't be able to lift much more than a hundred pounds on its own, otherwise the motors could burn up or it could become displaced and fail to function. And of course it ran on a rechargeable battery pack, so Dipper had to be careful not to let it die. Mr. Smith pointed out the row of small lights on the upper portion of the arm, showing where he could press on the silicon to make them light up. If all of them were green, it was fully charged. The lights would disappear over time, and when it hit one, he definitely needed to recharge it. Then they went through troubleshooting and upkeep information, and all the while, Dipper went through various exercises to make sure he had the full range of motion. Bending his elbow, wiggling his fingers, rotating the arm at the shoulder, and so on.

Finally it was deemed acceptable and Dipper had been educated on everything he needed to know, though he was also provided a booklet of information as well. Dr. Smith showed him a particular phone number and address, saying that if for whatever reason the arm failed to work, it could be sent back for repair.

Dipper thanked him as he got up, and Bill promised that they would be making a donation to the company to further fund their research. The doctor thanked them graciously.

As they headed out, Dipper took Bill's hand, leaning against him. “Maybe you could get a bionic eye.”

Bill smiled. “I've certainly looked into it, but I don't really mind only having one eye. I'm used to that, and I have senses to make up for it. But wow, your new arm looks great! You like it?”

“I love it.”

“Good. I'm glad that money was worth it. Now you can finally tell your family.”

“Heh, yeah.”

“And we can promote you. Ya know where you want to do it? We could make it really public if you want.”

Dipper thought about it, then said, “To be honest... I don't want to make a big deal about it. Could we just do a small ceremony, with some close friends? Rent out a building in a park in Piedmont or something? That way my family can get there easily and we'll have some privacy?”

Bill nuzzled into Dipper's hair, kissing his forehead. “If that's what you want.”

And so the promotion ceremony was held in Piedmont. The building they used was fairly big, so they were able to invite a good number of people, and more found out through their friends and came to visit too. It was heartwarming seeing his old troops again, and Dipper spent a lot of time talking to them, making sure both the demons and humans were getting used to things. He greeted his close friends with hugs, making sure he showed off his new prosthetic, much to their delight. Pavonis especially seemed to like it, and once he was done embracing Dipper, he gripped the upper portion of it and said, “Let me try something,” before channeling his magic through it.

To Dipper's surprise, the arm moved on its own, lifting and giving a wave. He pulled away, perturbed, and Pavonis laughed.

“It operates with electrical signals, and guess what I'm good at?” The demon grinned and ruffled his hair. “It's very nice, I'm happy for you. You look a lot better than you did last time I saw you.”

“I've definitely felt better since getting this,” Dipper admitted. “And my burns have healed up pretty well, they don't hurt anymore. I kinda feel like things are going back to normal, you know?”

“Yeah, definitely. Humans and demons are definitely integrating and it's pretty great. Oh hey, speaking of humans, I think your family is here.”

Dipper was just starting to look toward the door when he was being slammed into. He flailed back, only to be wrapped into a hug by a very familiar woman with long, curly brown hair.

“Dipper!” Mabel shouted, lifting him up and twirling him around as she hugged him. “Oh my gosh, it's been so long, why haven't you visited us, I know you've been busy but damn!” She set him down, brushing her hair back before setting her hands on her hips. “You've got a lot of explaining to do, mister.”

“Well, it's just like you said, I've been busy,” Dipper said with a laugh. “Bill and I had a lot of work to do, so I figured I'll just wait until it's all done, then come home. Besides, I'll be living with him anyway, I'm going to start going to college and stuff, just try to get my life back on track, and all...”

She huffed, but her expression was understanding. “Yeah, I get it. Well then we have a lot to catch up on. Look at you in this suit, you look good!” She admired the red fabric; he was wearing his formal uniform. He hadn't really wanted to put it on again, but since this would be the last time he wore it, he supposed it wasn't so bad.

“Thanks. It's pretty slimming.” Dipper brushed his hands down the sides of the coat.

“Definitely!” She looked him up and down, and he saw her eyes fixate on his left hand. “Are you wearing a glove?”

“Huh? No.” Dipper casually slipped that hand into his pocket, looking up to see his parents approaching. “Mom, Dad!” He jogged over to meet them, hugging each of them. They both began to scold him for not coming to see them right after the war, and then praised him for being so brave, and then told him how proud they were and how much they had missed him... it was very emotional, and Dipper may have cried a little, not that he would admit it. He let them say everything they needed to, before wrapping his arms around them and apologizing for being away for so long, for getting involved at all, but they understood that he had no choice, and told him that it was okay.

Bill just stood back, politely waiting for them to finish their reunion, chatting with some of his friends. Finally Dipper stepped back from his family, clearing his throat and chuckling nervously.

“Well, since I have you guys here... oh wait, are Stan and Ford coming?”

Mabel shrugged. “We made sure they knew about it, and they said they got your invitations, but I don't know... Ford didn't seem to want to come. Stan might. I hope he does, I told him we wanted to see him.”

“There's still time before the ceremony starts, I'm sure they'll be here.” Dipper wasn't too sure about that, though. He looked over at Bill, who came over and wrapped an arm around his waist for reassurance. “Okay, so I need to tell you guys something. I uh... this happened way back in our last big fight, you know after we uh... dropped the bombs.” He still felt terrible saying that out loud. “Bill and I were next to each other, and at one point a grenade was thrown close to us. I pushed him out of the way and tried to throw it, but... it exploded in the air next to us. And it... gave me serious burns. It hurt both of us actually, Bill ended up losing his eye, as you can see, and I...” Dipper tugged up his left sleeve. “I lost my arm.”

Mabel and his parents quickly grew concerned, and he held up his arm so they could look at it.

“You lost your arm?” Mabel demanded.

“How much of it?” Mrs. Pines asked, shocked. “Surely not...”

“All of it. I had third degree burns and with the amount of injuries that were sustained that day, they didn't have the time or resources to save it. It was amputated up to the shoulder. I just recently got this mechanical arm to replace it.”

They offered their condolences, and Dipper told them it was fine, though admitted it was rough getting through the weeks after the amputation. He assured them he was better now.

Of course they fretted over him, asking him if anything else was bothering him, and he ended up spending several minutes venting to them. Bill decided to leave him alone for that, instead going up to the front of the building to make sure their table was ready. The golden stars were laid out, polished and shiny, and his best officers greeted him and told him that everything was in order. One of them would be giving a speech about Dipper's achievements during his service, and Bill went over it with him.

The ceremony was set to begin at 7 PM, and it was currently 6:50. Their guests were filling the room now, chatting with each other as they took their places at the many tables. Dipper walked up to the table, sitting down next to Bill and rubbing his eyes.

“You all right?” Bill asked.

“Yeah. I had a lot of stuff to get off my chest, but... I feel better now. My family really cares about me. They said I'm still welcome, no matter what I've done.”

“That's good. It's good to have their support.”

“Yeah.” Dipper reached down to grip Bill's hand under the table.

With five minutes left before the ceremony, when most of their guests were seated and waiting, the far doors opened and some newcomers came in. A few people glanced back and then forward again, not really familiar with them, but Dipper stood.

“Grunkle Stan?” he called, stunned. “Ford?”

“In the flesh,” Stan called back, making his way up to the front without a care in the world, while Ford seemed a bit more reserved, casting uneasy glances at the demons. Stan was dressed in the black business suit of his Mystery Shack days, though wasn't wearing the fez. Ford was just in jeans and a sweater, an unbuttoned coat flapping around his arms as he hurried to keep up with his brother.

Dipper went around the table, walking at first, and then jogging when Stan reached out with his arms. Dipper wasn't sure what to expect when they reached each other, but his fears were put at ease when the old man hugged him tightly, patting his back and saying, “I knew you would survive. You've really toughened up since you were a kid, I'm proud of you for sticking it out.”

“Thanks, Stan,” Dipper replied gratefully, meeting his eyes with a smile. Then he turned to Ford, hesitating before offering his hand. “So you made it.”

“I wasn't going to miss such a big event in your life. Even if I don't agree with it, I'm still going to be here for you.” Ford brushed his hand aside, hugging him instead. Someone in the audience clapped, leading to the rest of the guests clapping for them. Dipper was sure he hasn't smiled like this since he joined Bill. He felt so deliriously happy, and he didn't try to fight it. He deserved happiness, he told himself. He had friends who respected him, family that loved him, a partner who was committed to him through thick and thin... things were going to get better.

He exchanged a few words with his great uncles, but then Bill reminded him that the ceremony was about to start, and Dipper nodded and quickly showed them to the table Mabel and his parents were at. They went to sit down, and Dipper hurried back up to the front.

He stood proudly at attention, facing Bill as his achievements were read, and at a particular sentence, Bill turned and picked up the stars. He unclipped the bats from Dipper's lapels and carefully replaced them, turning the stars so they faced down like pentagrams, and then returning to standing at attention. Dipper's right hand snapped up in a salute, and Bill responded with his own, as everyone applauded. The last few words were read, and then Bill lowered his hand, prompting Dipper to do the same. They turned to look at the crowd, Dipper rehearsing his speech, and Bill patted his back.

_You're going to do great._

Dipper's heart lifted as he looked around at the faces of all these people who supported him, many of which had fought right alongside him, who would even now do anything for him. He had seen a lot of things he wished he hadn't, but at the same time, he had gained valuable experiences. After this he would move on, and he could count on everyone here to help him if needed. Bill wasn't just referring to his speech. His words rang with truth. Even after this... he was going to do great.

General Dipper Pines smiled and began to speak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over. Thanks for sticking with this to the end, I really wasn't sure how I wanted to finish it but I decided that this would work just fine. I have other projects to work on now and I hope you enjoy my future fics to come. :D


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